L
A few days ago my brother found out that I started cutting again and he threw away all my knives and razors so now everything's just building up and the thoughts r getting more stronger and I can't deal with them anymore. So my parents were already pretty mad at me over that. But today I poured my sleeping pills down the sink because I don't want them I don't like sleeping. Now their downstairs arguing cos my parents want to send me away to some mental hospital but my brother won't let them do that to me. And right now I'm really scared and I don't know how to cope with anything and I just really want to drink this bleach but I know I can't and they keep saying y would God care if I died and I can't tell them y and bad stuff keeps happening because of me and I'm so messed up and I want to cut it all out so I can feel better again but they won't let me and I just want to be able to not think for a bit that's all y can't I move on from anything I'm crying over new things and I'm still crying over what happened years ago I want to be able to stop