Is it too late?

[EternalTyler]

Hi guys, I was having some serious doubts about god for quite a while untill about 5 months ago. God gave me SUCH a strong message. What happend was one day i was at a party (sinning cause i didnt realy believe in god) then all of the sudden everyone left at the very same time. It was just me and my friend there at his house and I started feeling funny. Then it started getting worse, eventually I actually felt insane. I coudlnt stop thinking about my sins for some reason. It got so bad i was practically rolling around on the ground trying to escape my thoughts. Then I started repeating "this is a wake up call from god" and i couldnt controll it. My friend was talking to me and then he would say something like "do you think your pleasing god?" or "what do you have to say to god?" and i could tell when it was my friend talking and it was god talking through him. when it was god it was SO loud yet very gentle, so undescribable, but it was still my friends vioce. I understand why the bible relates it to lightning. anyway, I kept repeating to my friend "you are god" and he was telling me "yes i am, and i want you to stop living your life like this, i want you to call your mom and tell here everything" (keep in mind it was his party and he was doing the same things i was doing, and would never say this on his own). I also asked god if this was the final judgment (remember i had no idea what that was) but i didnt get an answer. God asked me "what are you going to stop doing if i forgive you right now?" I told him i would never steal, smoke weed, and take LSD again. He told me ok and that he was going to test me with these things to see if I was going to listen to him. He said to go home and lay down. I went home after i told my parents everything and as soon as i laid down on the bed I felt gods forgiveness and grace, it was SO incredible (before i laid down i still felt insane) and within 5 seconds i felt better than ive ever felt before.

the next day when i woke up I said "what did i do last night? i told my parents everything and I actually thought i was talking to god" I immediatly went out to go buy more weed (cause i gave all i had to my parents the night before) from the same person who i thought was god. I lived my life the same sinful way as if nothing happend and thought nothing of my experience ( i was still an athiest) then about 2 weeks after my experience I was faced with a day that i was tested with those three things i promised god i wouldnt do (stealing,LSD,weed) the moment i broke my last promise to god I realized that it was all a test and that day realy was a wake up call from god. I was in math class when all i realized this. As soon as i realized it someone turned around and quoted something sinful i said that day word for word. I thought it was a coincidence untill it kept happening. I came home and turned on the tv and then the tv also quoted my sin, the person on tv looked at the camera, pulled out a wallet that looked exactly like mine and said "everything is safe inside my wallet" ( that day i had said "my LSD is safe inside my wallet). at this point i was realy hopeing all this was just one big coincidence but i would hear something crazy like this on tv every 30 seconds. I start talking to myself at this point and I said something sinful and while the words were still coming out of my mouth they were quoted on tv. Trust me i can go on and on with this but this story is already getting long enough.. these things werent just on tv but i would hear people over the phone quote something i said that day in an everyday context without even knowing it. This happend that whole night untill I woke up that morning.


When i woke up i realized i was still thinking about my sin and i could actually hear it. I also realized I was still hallucinating, at that point i remembered that god had told me if i take LSD again I wouldnt stop hallucinating and thinking of my sin. this scared me realy bad and I converted to christianity and have gone to church almost every weekend. I now believe in God and Jesus and repent and pray every day. I do as much as i can to please god and ive been clean of drugs ever since. Its been about 5 months and im still hallucinating and i think about all my sins every second of the day ( i realy cant be more literal about that) it never leaves me alone.

Ive looked up things on the final judgment and its just so scary how similar it is, like how it says " god will forget your sins untill the day of judgment, then he will reveal them to you. or how revealtion says that god will test everyone on earth to see if there worthy to go to heaven. well god definetly revealed my sin to me and I was definetly tested ( i know god tests us but not like this) and it doesnt help at all that i was even asking if it was the finnal judgment during the wake up call (when i had no idea what the final judgment was... I was at a bible study and i asked god to give me a sign to know if im forgiven and i cracked open the bible to a random page and the very first thing i read and look at is "why should i forgive you". i didnt understand because i was genuinely sorry for my sin and repented all the time. I asked god to let me see a shooting star If it was too late and while i was aking him that i saw one. im realy scared and have tried everything. I follow all of god's commandments and i read the bible every day first thing in the morning. There is so much more i can tell you about these crazy signs god gives me but its way too much to type. also i get dreams of natural disaters right before they happend, like those tornadoes in joplin missorri.


anyways ive been freaking out every day and am so unsure if i still have an opportunity to go to heaven. Do you think god is doing this for punishment out of love (hebrews 11)? I was baptized when i was 9, and have believed in god most my life. I was only an athiest for 7-8 months. do you think he was trying to bring back the old me and the only way to do so was to scare me into thinking it was too late? Like i said, there is so much more to this story but i think ive typed enough. I know for a fact that this experience was god, and I dont like it when people say it wasnt.

anyone got anything to say about this?

 

[Deadtosin]

"in the last days, the young shall prophecy" and no its not too late. The Lord will use you as a lamp for the lost. Dedicate yourself to the Lord, give your life to Him. accept the blood of the Lamb to wash your sins, and "KNOW" it has been done for you, as that is Gods promise. Read the bible daily, keep a journal of what you dream and what you see. Through all things ignore your fleshly and earthly desires and strain your ears toward the Lord and your eyes toward the heavens. The Lord our God has quickened your Spirit, He could have let you die in your sins, for surely you would have, but He intervened. He called you, and He holds you fast-Lest you slip backwards. I have a young friend named Tyler I haven't seen in a year or so, he struggled with much the same things as you. I pray he has the same awakening that you did. May God bless you on your journey, if you think its weird so far, you haven't seen nothing yet !!!

 

[Fencepost]

Well, my friend I can truly understand your pain this will take awhile to post so bare with me and I will share my entire testimony with you.

 

[Fencepost]

I grew up as any other Indiana born Texas raised boy did i suppose. I was born in the north but am southern at heart. I was always popular on the play ground I could run a football like no-one's bussiness from in-zone to in-zone without a single person grabbing my flag or tackleing me. I truly felt invincible on the football field. Kids always picked me first, my flag football team was happy to have me. I begged and begged my couch to let me run the football when I was but 5 years old. Finally the last play of the game he said ok Butch (that's the name my grandmother gave me when I was 2 days old and has stuck throughout my life) I ran that football from the one yard line on the kick-off to the inzone without a single person touching my flag. The coach was flabergasted he said I should of had you running from the beginning. Well unfortuantly we moved and the town we moved too had no football team for 5-6 year olds.

I started playing on a school team in 8th grade. The coach didn't know what to do with me I was so big for a 8th grader he wanted me to be a line man. So I did as I was instructed and blocked. In a scrimage game with the varsity team my clavicle got broke and my mom was mad, she was so mad she went up there and told the coach he had no bussiness making 8th graders play 11-12th graders and I was no longer allowed to play football in school. However I dominated during recess and noone could tackle me I could spin out of any tackle.

I have been in and out of mental hospitals since I was 16 am 39 now. Prolly been to over 10 different mental hospitals in my lifetime. At first I was terrified to tell doctors what I saw, heard, smelt, or dreamed. I thought for so long I had to act normal to keep myself out of the hospital. Was truly terrifying for me growing up.

Then when I was 22 years old I was staying with my mom and her boyfriend. Was working on his ranch and staying in one of his sons rooms who was away living with his ex-wife or the sons mother if you will. And believe it or not there was a ouji or weedji board in the closet. I had never missed with anything like that before in my life so i was curious. The little plastic thing really moved and i was talkin to something not me.

Whatever was moving the board spelled out that it wanted me to rape and kill. And my mama raised me right I immediatly said OMG that's evil. And I became very scarred. Then it spelled out that it was gonna kill me that night. I was freaking out. I was scarred outta my mind, I knew if I went and told my mom what I was experienceing back to the mental hospital. I hated those places all the drugs made me feel like a zombie half the time.

So for the first time in my life I cryed out to God, I cryed out to Jesus asking for help because I did not wanna die. A peace came over me I had never felt. I knew I would be ok, I immediatly put the board back in the closet. The next day I had such a craving to read the bible OMG I wanted to know God and I knew the bible had that information. Of course there was not a single bible to be found in the whole house. We was like 20 miles or so from town and I had no license or car. Well a few days later I told my mom what had happened and she immediatly made her boyfriend burn the thing with fire telling him under no reason would she stay in a house with a weedgie board. We then went to town and she took me to a second hand store in town and I searched the store for a bible. I found an old NRSV bible tattered and torn and I broke down in tears and was so happy.

Went back to the ranch worked and read the bible at the dinner table and everywhere I went I could not put the bible down I read and read and read. Then one sunday I asked my mom if I could goto church and she gave me a ride and dropped me off at a Carpenter's non-denominational church. Was a female preacher/pastor and she was talking about the prodigal son. Then asked if anyone wanted to be saved I immediatly said yes and accepted Christ into my heart. Praise God!

Now I would like to tell you that it was easy street and a bed of roses after that but unfortuantly that would not be the truth. Well my 17 years has been one hell of a ride let me tell you The Spirit of the Lord has lead me to preach on the street corners of america, homeless and in my life I have forsaken all for the sake of the gospel. I have suffered much for Jesus. I was diagnosed with schrizaphrenia when I was 16. And have always been the odd man out since my illness manifested.

People would often fist-fight me hit me, kick me, knock me down. Even before I was saved I could never bring myself to hit people back. I suppose some could say and often said that I was afraid. But those that would hit me would leave saying OMG your nuts cause I would stand up look them right in the eye and say that all you got hit me again. If that is the kinda person you are just kick me in the head.

My fear was not of them, but I have always feared God's judgement for my actions. I feared God would be angry at me if I inflicted pain on others.

So, anyway after I was saved I tried to the best of my abilty to forsake all for Christ preached on the street corners, in the highways, the bi-ways the lowest and forgotten places of america. At one time God even lead me to Salt Lake City, Utah to preach in the temple courtyard and the sidewalk around the temple which I walked 3 times by God's decree. This happened in 1998 or so I think. can't remember exact date. I did see people video tapeing me and have heard people say that I was placed on a watch-list because of this.

The Spirit of the Lord compelled me to goto Salt Lake City and preach the gospel of Jesus Christ. As I was walking through the state of Nevada from Las Vegas. I was walking because a Nevada highway patrol man had stopped me and told me no hitch-hiking in NV and he followed me walking for at least 3 miles before he left. A white pickup stopped and offered me a ride a man his woman and their 3 kids. So I happily took the ride because I trusted God and knew he wanted me in Salt Lake and believe it or not that is where they were going. This man was speeding down the highway going at least 100+mph. I was in the back of the truck with 2 of their children. I was praying begging God to protect us with His Holy angels because we were going so fast. The left front side, the driver's side front wheel blew and the guy pulled over.

He was truly amazed that we were all alive he said we should all be dead cuz he was going so fast, and the truck should of flipped over. His wife looked me dead in the eye and said who are you? I said I am Cameran. she asked why are you goin to Salt Lake City? I said because God has compelled me to go there and preach his gospel on the streets of Salt Lake. She said I heard you praying for God's angels to protect us from harm and He did. The man slowed down alot as we finally made it to Salt Lake City. They dropped me off and the lady told me God Bless.

I was going to start preaching on the street corner in salt lake but God compelled me not too. The Spirit compelled me to go into the Temple Court-yard downtown Salt Lake on temple street. Compelled me to go in and sat quietly on the ground in the temple and read the Book of Isaiah to myself quietly. As I was reading a woman very nice said you can't do that here you can't sit there on the ground. So i stood up to move and The Spirit of the Lord came upon most mightily and I was preaching. You strain at a gnat and you swallow a camel. You see this temple there is not one stone that God could not tear down. And some other things which I honestly can not remember. Two men dressed in black suits softly and respectively escorted me out of the temple. As we got to the gate on the outside of the gate there is a sidewalk that circles the entire temple outside the gate. I was gonna walk away I thought I was done but The Spirit of the Lord was upon me again and compelled me to walk the entire sidewalk three times preaching as I had in the temple. I was not only preaching I was belowing with a loud voice. Everyone was stareing at me police officers, people on the street, secruity guards, many were taking pictures and videos. (I have never been able to find any account of this in the paper or the internet.)

After the third pass I was walking away from the temple and a limo stopped and an 50]s or so man got out and asked: Who do you say you are? I said I am a believer. He asked who do you say I am? I replied as God compelled me I do not know why I said this, outside you are clean but inwardly you are full of deadman's bones. Then as the Spirit compelled me I walk off in a huff, stomping my feet. I preached on the street corners for a week in Salt Lake before I left.

For what that is worth about 11 years ago I meet a woman named Cher and we confessed our love for one another and married ourselves under God and made a vow to God that we would remain faithful to one another.

We were not married in a church were not married legally by any of man's ways. God blessed us with a little girl named Rachel. However at the time of her pregnancy her, her mother, and her church all wanted her to get an abortion. They all said we was nuts and were living in sin. Which very well maybe I have no idea. I do know I shaved my head and made a vow to God Almighty to remain faithful to her. So I honor that I do not fear man. I do fear God.

Well needless to say I tried to get custody because her sister was given my daughter the judge ruled that her sister would have custody because me and Cher both had a mental illness history. So I became so angry at the entire world, at God, at mankind, at myself and I truly just wanted to die. I was praying for God to take me home because if these are the rules if this is my life I can't take this crap anymore. No I was not sucidal I was not gonna kill myself by any means I fear God and now that is wrong.

Well whether you want to believe me or not I had a vision in my mind of an Angel of Lord God Almighty wielding a flaming sword. I didn't see him physically. I saw and heard him in my mind. He told me "Cameran you are forever loved, Cameran you are forever forgiven, Cameran you are forever redeemed, Cameran you are forever justified, Cameran you are forever saved." I felt the tears from this angel fall upon my eyes around the sides and below them. I felt them embed in my skin like an unseen tatoo. I can't explain this and I am not trying too.

So has been 10 years for me being seperated from my wife if you will I use the term losely. I have not laid with another woman and will not unless I become truly married under God and man. All I can do is warn you. Do not take your vows to Lord God Almighty hastely or lightly for He will bring everything rather secret or unsecret to judgement and you will have to give an account of yourself for all the things you know about and even those things you do not know about. Which I am sorry to say is alot more than the things you know about. Becareful when you entertain strangers for some have entertained angels unware.

God Bless and thank you for letting me share a little of my life with you. I hope this has help you understand that I can honestly say It is not I that live, but Christ that lives within me.

I hope this helps you relize that you are not alone in seeing and hearing strange things. God bless you and keep you always, for his purpose. Father God I ask that you help this man find clarity of mind and that his mind be ready and preserved for your God work. God I ask that you touch him with your divine Holy Spirit that you dwell in him and make him a vessel of your divine decree as you have done for thousands upon thousands since time began. I praise you Lord God Almighty and I thank you for Christ Jesus. amen

 

[shekaniah]

I will payer for God's direction for you Tyler, ask God for wisdom. In Jesus Name Amen

James 1:5
If any of you lacks wisdom, he should ask God, who gives generously to all without finding fault, and it will be given to him.

 

[Rachel777]

WOW! How wonderful is God! ..I'm speechless... I think it is not too late,if you are really sorry,if follow Him, if keep faithful and if you are ALIVE..then is not too late.He has show you that He really loves you. Keep on the road.

God Bless You

 

[Sarah88]

God always forgives us when we come to Him with a repentant heart. Until you expire your last breath there is hope for you. It's never too late while we are still alive. Look at the example of the thief that was on the cross beside Jesus. He had done horrible things, yet he repented and Jesus promised him that he was going to heaven that very day (Luke 23:43). So, no matter what we've done or how far we've gone, Jesus is always there with open arms to receive and forgive us.

Also, when we repent God "removes our sins as far as the east is from the west" (Psalm 103:12). So, if He removes our sins and forgets them (He doesn't hold them against us ever again) why should we feel guilty and suffer and remember them? You've been forgiven and set free. Now, forget about your past sins and start a new life in Him.

“Then neither do I condemn you,” Jesus declared. “Go now and leave your life of sin.” John 8:11

 

[karine___]

u dont need to be scared Tyler , God knows ur heart better than u do urself ,u genuinely repented ..He knows it... what He does is to set us free from fear . fear is not from God . for some time i doubted i was truly saved and i got so paranoid that i only saw condemnation in what i read , what i saw... its the wrong mindset u have . u sound like by being obedient to God u are trying to gain and maintain ur salvation but theres no such thing , take a step back and let Him direct your life , breathe free... let Him give u true life , not go after it urself.

 

[EternalTyler]

Thank you all so much for your input. I belive god brought me to this sight because I herd something tell me "talk to this person about god" and i did and he told me about this site. The person i talked to is the son of the owner of this site =).

i appreciate all you guys taking the time to give me advice like this.

 

[Deadtosin]

Tyler, it is our honor and privilage thanks for coming and opening up to us. We all rejoice greatly at meeting a new brother in Christ welcome!!

 

[EternalTyler]

some of the things i left out.. during my first experience i also was repeating "this is what hell is like" and i truly believe that it is.(besides the burning lake of sulfur) but like i was telling you guys, i was rolling around on the ground trying to escape my thoughts because all i could think about was my sin, i couldnt think about were i was at or what i was wearing, just all the sins i have committed. during this experience (while i was repeating stuff) i cant describe what it felt like, i guess the only way to describe it was i was actually standing before the creator of the universe being judged of all my sin. thats the best way i could put it. It didnt feel like i was on earth anymore, infact at the time i thought i died and was summoned before god in some other realm ( i know that sounds crazy). I felt god everywere, like god was everything.

another thing too that i heard on the day i realized i failed gods tests, i was talking on the phone with my mom and i heard her plainly say
"Tyler, did you lick the foil" when she said this i knew it was god talking through her just as he was talking through my friend. now the phrase "did you lick the foil" comes from my own theory i had that when you take LSD (that is usually packaged in foil) you should also lick the residue off the foil. I told all my friends that when they took LSD with me. after i heard this I was terrified and couldnt belive what i heard. I asked my mom about that a few days later and she said she never said that and thinks that im crazy, she didnt even know LSD came in foil. trust me I heard that clear as day, in fact when she said that i asked her "what did you just say?!?" and she repeated it again so clearly( in gods powerful voice aswell).

but its just realy scary cause i have never heard of god doing this to anyone at all (i mean in our times). I cant believe god actually said that to me while i was wide awake (not dreaming or in vision) i just heard it, and that itself just realy scares me. I cant understand why god was just revealing my sin to me like that.

another thing too is that during the first experience god told me that is i keep living my life this way this is what i had instore for all eternity. and after i woke up the next day after all that and remember thinking "what if there is a god, then im pretty sure i would be going to hell". and i didnt care, i hate how i thought then. but it makes me feel like i completely rejected god and his call, and every other person who is truly a sheep of god wouldve responded to that experience in obediance and wouldnt of disobeyed. I feel like since i didnt listen to gods first call ( which was so incredibly strong and you have to be insane to doubt that was an experience from god) im not his sheep, like jesus said "i will call to the world and all who are my sheep will hear me and listen to my call, and those who dont are not my sheep, i will herd my sheep into their pin and shut the gate, and those who didnt listen, there is no other way in because the gate is closed" I feel exactly like this, like i rejected such and incredibly strong call like this and i still doubted...
I feel like the wemon standing outside the wedding party because they were late because they were off getting more oil for there lamps. I feel like one of those wemon standing outside pleading god to let me in but hes telling me "I dont know who you are and im not going to let you in"

I dont know guys, i appreciate your advice so much, but there always a hint of doubt, only because i feel condemed (literaly) and my situation is so similar to judgement. But still, i thank all you guys so much and am grateful to have you.

doesnt it seem like condemnation to you? that god is making me perminantly hallucinate and think constantly of all the sin ive ever done. shouldnt it just be so easy for me to say "well everyone ive told my story to says im going to be ok, so i think i will be ok" ive even told many pastors and everyone says im going to be ok, why cant i just accept that? I know that god will forgive the worst of sins, but what i keep thinking is that ive already been judged and thats why its so hard for me to accept.

i hope im not sounding like a lost cause to you guys because even my parents have givin up telling me its going to be ok because i just cant accept that. Again, thank you all so much for your input.

 

[EternalTyler]

I will payer for God's direction for you Tyler, ask God for wisdom. In Jesus Name Amen

James 1:5
If any of you lacks wisdom, he should ask God, who gives generously to all without finding fault, and it will be given to him.

Thank you so much for praying for me and I thank god for putting all these wonderful people on earth like you and these other people that are giving me great input and advice

 

[Deadtosin]

Tyler bro, don't worry how you MAY be coming across. This, God did not only for your own learning and salvation, but to Glorify God for some who read these words and hear your testimony. I have also been called so strongly by GOD, that there was no possible way to doubt it. I mean collapsed on the side of a road to a blinding light, with the booming non faltering words from the bible streaming from a homeless guy, and I wasn't alone. My friend was collapsed behind me. Some time after that, I still lived a life of sin, where I chose to do wicked works and walk away from our Lord. I have prayed strong prayers of help from the Lord with promises I would keep, The Lord held His end, and I still failed, so much now that I don't swear anything I just let my yes be yes and my no be no. I assure you my brother, your sins do not exceed those of mine, and God showing Himself to you is in no way more certain and conclusive than how He has revealed Himself to me. What I tell you now, I say that all may see. I never thought I would but somehow this seems right. When I was younger I kept with a woman who was known unto many men. Many men. She called me one night and told me she was pregnant, to me this was a disgrace, had my family known I had been keeping with her I was so ashamed. I asked her how she could be sure it was mine with all of the men she knew? she said for that certain time period it had just been me. I got off the phone with her, I felt physically ill. I stood outside in the night and I prayed to the Lord "LORD, I AM SO SORRY FOR THE SINS I COMMITED AGAINST YOU, IF IN FACT THIS CHILD IS MINE, I PRAY THAT YOU TAKE IT AWAY FROM HER, I PRAY THAT YOU TAKE IT UNTO HEAVEN. LORD IF YOU DO THIS ONE THING FOR ME I PROMISE NEVER TO KEEP WITH HER AGAIN, IN JESUS NAME I PRAY AMEN" I thanked the Lord and believed that what I had asked was done, that prayer took place at 10:30 pm the next morning she called me and said "you don't have to worry about me being pregnant, the baby is gone, I miscarried last night" I said "around what time?" she said "about 10:30" I was stunned. Brother, I didn't hold up my end of the promise I kept with her again, multiple times after that. The Lord has asked me to walk away from this world and trust Him, just like our brother FencePost has done, The farther I walked I asked the Lord, "are you sure" the Lord put it on my heart "go" I said "and call no one? don't say good bye just go?" again on my heart "go ahead" the wind blew softly comforting me. I walked off went into a wal mart with the Lord upon me, I gave away my new steelers hat to the greeter. I walked out of the store and went on, I was already in a state I had never been in, we had been staying at a hotel. My point is I turned around, I came back. I have commited sin against the Lord too many times, even after I had no doubts. No chance to say I didn't know. Believe me if you cannot be saved, I cannot be saved. But I am saved, The Lord loves me, and He remembers my sin no more, that I dwell in Him and I trust Him and I give up my life here, I don't want it, I only want the Lord and what He has to offer, that this life He can have and do with as He wills because He has purchased my life and I love Him. And I love you too brother, we all do. You are our brother, and God is our Father, yes even your Father. Fathers have unconditional love brother. As long as you choose to come back to Him, HE DOES ACCEPT YOU!! praise GOD He promises that!! and LET GOD BE THE TRUTH AND EVERY MAN A LIAR!! You belong to Him.. BELIEVE IT!!

 

[Fencepost]

ET, don't worry your mind so much there is a scripture a fellow believer in Christ gave me when I was at The Home of Grace in Vancleave, Mississippi.

Psalm 46:10 KJV "Be still and know that I am God: I will be exalted among the heathen, I will be exalted in the earth."

This verse speaks volumes to me, because I always think I should be doing this or that. Which don't get me wrong. An idle mind is the devils playground, as those old time religon preachers use to say. So speaks to me that to know God in the silence, like He is right beside you whispering gently in your ear is amazing and leaves me awestruck.

 

[EternalTyler]

Tyler bro, don't worry how you MAY be coming across. This, God did not only for your own learning and salvation, but to Glorify God for some who read these words and hear your testimony. I have also been called so strongly by GOD, that there was no possible way to doubt it. I mean collapsed on the side of a road to a blinding light, with the booming non faltering words from the bible streaming from a homeless guy, and I wasn't alone. My friend was collapsed behind me. Some time after that, I still lived a life of sin, where I chose to do wicked works and walk away from our Lord. I have prayed strong prayers of help from the Lord with promises I would keep, The Lord held His end, and I still failed, so much now that I don't swear anything I just let my yes be yes and my no be no. I assure you my brother, your sins do not exceed those of mine, and God showing Himself to you is in no way more certain and conclusive than how He has revealed Himself to me. What I tell you now, I say that all may see. I never thought I would but somehow this seems right. When I was younger I kept with a woman who was known unto many men. Many men. She called me one night and told me she was pregnant, to me this was a disgrace, had my family known I had been keeping with her I was so ashamed. I asked her how she could be sure it was mine with all of the men she knew? she said for that certain time period it had just been me. I got off the phone with her, I felt physically ill. I stood outside in the night and I prayed to the Lord "LORD, I AM SO SORRY FOR THE SINS I COMMITED AGAINST YOU, IF IN FACT THIS CHILD IS MINE, I PRAY THAT YOU TAKE IT AWAY FROM HER, I PRAY THAT YOU TAKE IT UNTO HEAVEN. LORD IF YOU DO THIS ONE THING FOR ME I PROMISE NEVER TO KEEP WITH HER AGAIN, IN JESUS NAME I PRAY AMEN" I thanked the Lord and believed that what I had asked was done, that prayer took place at 10:30 pm the next morning she called me and said "you don't have to worry about me being pregnant, the baby is gone, I miscarried last night" I said "around what time?" she said "about 10:30" I was stunned. Brother, I didn't hold up my end of the promise I kept with her again, multiple times after that. The Lord has asked me to walk away from this world and trust Him, just like our brother FencePost has done, The farther I walked I asked the Lord, "are you sure" the Lord put it on my heart "go" I said "and call no one? don't say good bye just go?" again on my heart "go ahead" the wind blew softly comforting me. I walked off went into a wal mart with the Lord upon me, I gave away my new steelers hat to the greeter. I walked out of the store and went on, I was already in a state I had never been in, we had been staying at a hotel. My point is I turned around, I came back. I have commited sin against the Lord too many times, even after I had no doubts. No chance to say I didn't know. Believe me if you cannot be saved, I cannot be saved. But I am saved, The Lord loves me, and He remembers my sin no more, that I dwell in Him and I trust Him and I give up my life here, I don't want it, I only want the Lord and what He has to offer, that this life He can have and do with as He wills because He has purchased my life and I love Him. And I love you too brother, we all do. You are our brother, and God is our Father, yes even your Father. Fathers have unconditional love brother. As long as you choose to come back to Him, HE DOES ACCEPT YOU!! praise GOD He promises that!! and LET GOD BE THE TRUTH AND EVERY MAN A LIAR!! You belong to Him.. BELIEVE IT!!

Thanks for sharing that man, it realy means alot. I was just confused on why god would just completely reveal himself to me like that and leave no room for doubt. I thought he was doing that as a "ok, im going to show myself to you so strongly, and if you do not belive, then you never will."
but you cleaned that confusion up with that post. realy man, that post meant alot.

 

[Deadtosin]

my honor bro

 

[Ramon]

I am marking this to read later.

May Jesus bless you.

Oh, and God chooses whoever he will. He chose Saul when Saul persecuted him. And he is choosing people out of this world, because a great time is coming to it. I am thankful that the Lord has answered my prayer and is bringing these people together, even on this site.