I'm sorry to hear about Baby. Know that you've done everything you could and what ever decision you made was out of love. There's gains and losses, especially and unfortunately when it comes to departing with animals but it is selfless love to not see them in pain anymore. They gave selfless love all of their lives for those who they love, and for some maybe to everyone. I understand that there's guilt when losing a very loved pet as well as anyone you lose. I've experienced that guilt quite often when my dog who lived over fifteen years name Mercy, had to be put to sleep due to a tumor that grew on her face and a fast spreading cancer that started taking its toll on her and making her become very thin along with other unpleasant complications. She was the sweetest thing in the whole world and it meant so much to my family, and she seemed to have even been the glue that stuck us together to begin with. It was heartbreaking with everything that went from there. I could go into a very long story with how it all went, but it might make you feel worse so I don't know... As far as it raining while you were at the clinic, we've experienced a very similar thing on two trips with our dog. It's never easy, at all. She was so loving that I wouldn't have asked for anything more. Had to be put down late August of 2009. You take them for granted and never would even think the possibility of them going through anything that would lead to their death or acknowledge that their death would even come to begin with.
I did eventually find peace that I know was from something greater than myself. I know that Mercy is okay and the pets I currently have I will try to stay strong for when their day comes, however it will happen. Especially since the oldest cat I have is now thirteen and will be fourteen by the end of the year and that worries me sometimes. They know that we love them and there couldn't be any other way than to lessen the pain that would have resulted so much differently otherwise, and it requires strength. Also know that there's nothing wrong when grieving, too. It took me a long while to find that closure and just before when first seeing this topic, I shed a tear or two when I thought of Mercy.
Also know that if you feel like you can't take not having a cat around after Baby's passing, maybe you should try and adopt a new cat or kitten. It's not really a replacement, but it can fill the void and make you go through the grieving process a bit better. It's not for everyone and certainly wasn't mine to accept that we may get another dog someday, but it's just a suggestion. You could give that same love and home for that future cat if you do.
What also reminds and somewhat helps me is when I saw this and it goes for any type of pet, for the most part:
I may have helped somewhat, maybe not, I could've made it worse... But my condolences are with you and I hope this grief will pass for you soon. An animal *lover (LOL, forgot to put lover after that, but I could be one heck of an animal too) saying this to another animal lover even if it's only specific types of pets, I understand completely just like others here and won't judge.
I did eventually find peace that I know was from something greater than myself. I know that Mercy is okay and the pets I currently have I will try to stay strong for when their day comes, however it will happen. Especially since the oldest cat I have is now thirteen and will be fourteen by the end of the year and that worries me sometimes. They know that we love them and there couldn't be any other way than to lessen the pain that would have resulted so much differently otherwise, and it requires strength. Also know that there's nothing wrong when grieving, too. It took me a long while to find that closure and just before when first seeing this topic, I shed a tear or two when I thought of Mercy.
Also know that if you feel like you can't take not having a cat around after Baby's passing, maybe you should try and adopt a new cat or kitten. It's not really a replacement, but it can fill the void and make you go through the grieving process a bit better. It's not for everyone and certainly wasn't mine to accept that we may get another dog someday, but it's just a suggestion. You could give that same love and home for that future cat if you do.
What also reminds and somewhat helps me is when I saw this and it goes for any type of pet, for the most part:
I may have helped somewhat, maybe not, I could've made it worse... But my condolences are with you and I hope this grief will pass for you soon. An animal *lover (LOL, forgot to put lover after that, but I could be one heck of an animal too) saying this to another animal lover even if it's only specific types of pets, I understand completely just like others here and won't judge.