Ladies: Your feelings on compliments from men on your physical appearance?

[isaria]

Agree, depends on what manner it is said and presented.


Physical appearance may mean they like the way you groom and dress your body.
A woman was once given a make over to dress in suit and had make up and hair made and the compliment would be also for those who helped groom her.
Or maybe it be muscle strength they compliment or a new hair do or colour and depth of eyes, a new lipstick....

It can feel awkward sometimes receiving compliment but theres different ways to give compliments.
Neednt a word be said.


I feel bad about my current physical appearance and may need help to groom better.
As I work the way I do , am very exhausted.. and do not do many things with my body and have no love/social life and am in country side i do not groom for this.
I do not put fancy clothes on to go to country side or to buy milk not do i have many clothes to "play" with.
No one takes me on date nor take self on date.

I dont receive compliments of such things (dirty jumper, no makeup, loose hair....) but think would probably react with a thank you or some other comment came to mind.


If you received a compliment that might make you feel good.
Different people respond different to it and depends on how it is said and what is said.


I prefer a man not say anything unless/until we are intimate.
Before then he may compliment me in silence by playfulness , a smile, a look.........
a mutual understanding
Or may be it is not mutual nor understanding..... lol

 

[Loveneverfails]

I know I won't change your mind, SeanS, and I very much respect your well-thought out opinion, but I hope you won't mind if I attempt to clarify some things, at least from my perspective.

You bring up several issues:

- Choice of words and their meanings
- Incorrectly labeling words or actions as "disrespectful"
- Reacting negatively due to pride and arrogance

On the topic of the specific words and whatever connotations they may have, word choice matters. It comes down to appreciation versus desire. Words such as pretty, lovely, beautiful, and even stunning tend to convey a deep yet wholesome appreciation. Most women have positive feelings and reactions towards words that express appreciation (just like men!). Words such as hot, fine, and sexy tend to convey desire, and almost always in a physical sense. Think about it. Why are the latest trends, fashions, and gadgets labeled "hot"? It is because they are greatly desired. People want them, and crave them. Of course, by worldly logic, a woman should want to be desired by any and every man walking down the street. To women following that logic, words that express desire are indeed a great compliment. However, there are other women, such as myself, who feel extremely uncomfortable when a complete stranger uses words that express desire.

You say that to label certain comments as disrespectful points to an inner problem of pride and arrogance, and to a certain extent, you have a point. My question is, isn't it possible for a word or action to be disrespectful, regardless of how the recipient responds or feels about it? Respect involves many things, including but not limited to: admiration, honor, esteem, and consideration. When a complete stranger makes comments that express sexual attraction, I feel disrespected because that stranger is commenting on my sex appeal, which is something that I go out of my way to save for my future husband. I do not feel honored nor considered in such a circumstance.

Regarding whether this is all tied to pride and arrogance.. it very well could be, in some cases. For me to demand that all men respect me, and to throw a fit when one does not, would point to pride in my heart. However, simply disliking disrespectful comments is far different than making demands. This thread was about how we feel about certain comments. You're right, it would be arrogant for me to "bite a guy's head off" for calling me hot or sexy. But I don't do that, and I didn't gather from any of the other ladies' comments that they would do that either. Most of them seemed to just say that they don't particularly like or enjoy being referred to in certain terms.

Like I said, you make a lot of good points, and I appreciate you having the guts to call us out on what seemed like pride and arrogance to you. I hope I was able to clarify any misunderstanding.

 

[kayem77]

If the word implies that you've been checking me out, I don't like it. Usually words like hot or sexy have a sexual connotation, which I would prefer to be used by my husband only. It also depends on how someone says it, but if a stranger says it....it would be inappropiate. If a guy compliments my face, clothes, hair, etc or uses words like cute, beautiful, pretty, etc I will feel slightly awkward (because I act awkward when I receive compliments) but I'll smile and say thank you .

I think we all women like to be complimented, I would lie if I said I don't like it when a guy compliments me, it does bring a smile to my face, but there are boundaries.

 

[Deva_1972]

I had something similar happen to me, except it was the CASHIER, who was about 60 or so and he was like, 'you sure are a pretty little thing' and I got really annoyed and grossed out so I just kinda mumbled and scowled a bit and said, 'I am not as little as you THINK I am' (I look young for my age) and then quickly left and did the same thing...rolled my eyes...what a creepy old man...does he really think I care?? I got pretty repulsed by it! LOL

I've definitely had to learn how to take a compliment. I was a complete dork in my teen years and most, if not all, of my compliments came from my dad (thanks dad). When I started maturing and guys began noticing me I didn't know WHAT to think. At first I was completely grossed out by it, then I went through a very vain and prideful season of life where I gladly welcomed any and every compliment on my physical appearance. After that, when God made it evident that my heart wasn't where it should be and I began to pray that He would humble me, I went into this mindset where, if someone complimented my looks, I'd politely say, "Oh no, no I'm not." Or "You should see me at home!" Or something to that effect. False humility isn't so great either. Now I usually smile, say, "thank you" and carry on with whatever I was doing before. If they're rude or crude though I have no problem telling them so or making it very obvious that their comment isn't appreciated.
Not too long ago I was walking into a gas station and this sweaty redneck guy with a beer belly hanging out of his shirt, 12 pack of Coors Light in his hand, held the door open for me and says, "There ya go, sexy. *wink*" I said thanks, grabbed the door, and rolled my eyes while trying not to burst into laughter. Oy. Lol so, needless to say its been a journey. Haha

 

[zeroturbulence]

Note to self: Next time I feel like complimenting a woman on her looks.. talk about the weather instead.

 

[seoulsearch]

Note to self: Next time I feel like complimenting a woman on her looks.. talk about the weather instead.

So when a guy walks up to me and says, "Gee, your hair looks... partly sunny... and you look... like there's a chance of clouds..."

I'll completely understand. (Translation for the ladies--this guy is speaking half "Spotty Weather Forecaster" and half "Man-a-nese.")

Got it!