J
I am a 19 year old girl with a lot of questions I can't seem to find the answer to. I think I have the answer but then question it because a lot of my reasoning doesn't make sence because I have a type of OCD where I basically tell myself I'm going to hell or my family will die unless I don't do the things I want. The type of things I feel guilty for are like playing video games or watching movies instead of applyig all my free time to the bible. Is this a reasonable and understandable feeling? Should I isolate myself from these things for god? Or does he want me to live life with these fun past times? I also have a troubled mind because I am not married but I have sexual intercourse with my boyfriend. I try to settle my concious by telling myself its ok because we love each other and want to get married once we are done with college. We have been together for over 2 years and I cannot imagine life without him and want to show and express my love through sex ,, is this a wrong way of thinking? Am I going to hell for this ? Will I be punished by god by him taking my family from me? I also cannot find a churh I feel happy and comfortable going to either. This also makes me feel worthy of eternal punishment. I try to live for god and always do what is right. I have been looking for answers and don't know.where to look anymore... So here I am asking the world in a chat room...