Masterbation

[supernova1976]

***edited to keep the original intent but kind of toning it down a little****


I am really struggling with this issue. I need support. I am a 32 year old female that is experiencing extreme moments of ovulation that are preceeded by being extremely sexually aroused.

I explained to my boyfriend ( we have not had inercourse for obvious reasons) and I feel guitly about even confessing to him.

I don't know how people do this. Excuse me for being blunt, but when you are single and you have moments wanting sex, what do you do when you are not married?

Please don't judge me, I know this is wrong and I am looking for support not condemnation on tools etc...... and also now I am worried that my boyfriend's image of me is shattered. I seriously hate being a human being sometimes and wish I could just die.

 

[hersecretrefuge]

I do not judge you at all.

But think of it this way, sin is fun. Yet we will pay for it the day you stand before God. So, in that moment of temptation, you are literally choosing between LIFE and DEATH. So really say to yourself "I CHOOSE LIFE! I CHOOSE TO SAY YES TO JESUS CHRIST!" Through that faith and confidence, the Lord will release divine strength in your inner man and impart His grace to you to be able to resist. The word says, "In temptation He will make a way of escape that you WILL be able to bear it."

YOU CAN DO IT!!! Once I changed my mindset to "I keep choosing death" I have been free from that bondage for quite a long time now. If I can, so can you dear.
Also remember, each time you do it, you are giving a little part of your heart to the enemy and giving him a footstool. BUT LETS GLORIFY the Lord!

Talk to me whenever you want if you would like.
Love ya sis.
Sarah

 

[markhelp]

Someone must have really laid a "sin" rap on you regarding this subject. It's normal. Now , if you have to do it 10 times a day, then you might have a problem. Other than that, quit condemning yourself. And you're not going to pay for your sins the day you stand before God. Good gravy, Jesus Christ paid for your sins.

 

[incorporatestreet]

the bible says not to lust... but with masterbation, lust follows.
so how can you do that without the lust? you cant.
even if you are thinking about an imaginary person, its still lust.
and when there is lust its the same as committing adultry.

i used to struggle with this. and once i turned it over to god
and got serious about it, i no longer had that desire.
sin is fun, thats why its so hard for people to change their
life for the better. but once you make that choice, you wont have
to worry about that embarrassment or have that burden on your shoulders
any more. that is why god is here, to take your pain and burden so that
we dont have to suffer.

youll make it.
god bless you.

 

[ndimu]

HI sis, just like you one time i was affected, because i did not want to do sex and i sometimes had great desire for it and i consoled myself that it is not sin to do it. but i never knew that it is a trap of the devil to get me obsessed with it, you know every thing that judges you when you do it know that it is wrong. the very thing that bring this problem is constant thinking of sex. just avoid, pray God to assist you and make a serious commitment with God and you will cease from doing it.l

 

[Baptistrw]

Someone must have really laid a "sin" rap on you regarding this subject. It's normal. Now , if you have to do it 10 times a day, then you might have a problem. Other than that, quit condemning yourself. And you're not going to pay for your sins the day you stand before God. Good gravy, Jesus Christ paid for your sins.

It's sin, and grace doesn't give one a sin permit. I have serious questions about people who say those sorts of things, the first one would be.. 'Are you really a Christian?'

 

[Baptistrw]

***edited to keep the original intent but kind of toning it down a little****


I am really struggling with this issue. I need support. I am a 32 year old female that is experiencing extreme moments of ovulation that are preceeded by being extremely sexually aroused.

I explained to my boyfriend ( we have not had inercourse for obvious reasons) and I feel guitly about even confessing to him.

I don't know how people do this. Excuse me for being blunt, but when you are single and you have moments wanting sex, what do you do when you are not married?

Please don't judge me, I know this is wrong and I am looking for support not condemnation on tools etc...... and also now I am worried that my boyfriend's image of me is shattered. I seriously hate being a human being sometimes and wish I could just die.

I know with alot of people changing their habits and doing different things with their time is helpful. But ultimately Christ will give you the victory. Find an accountability partner in your church and memorize some verses on lust, and when Satan starts throwing those darts, you can quench them with Scripture.

 

[Trilogic]

First and foremost i want to say that you are loved in Christ and God knows all about what your dealing with. I also want to say that im not gonna sit here and give you some lame one paragraph solution to your problem. Because we both know quite honestly that there isnt one. The new books on victiory won't work, even reading scriputure doesn't stop you from being who God made you. Your human dear, and you couldnt ignore you desire for sex anymore than a bee could ignore the desire to polunate. What you can do for starters is know that although God created you sexually...and it is strong...that a close relationship with Him is even stronger and can often overcome your very humaness. I know. I've done it! When i fell, i quickly came running back to him and didnt allow myself to feel ashamed (that only kept me from him for days on end). I immediately came to Him and say. God your my best friend, show yourself powerful for me. And He has! I just went right back to praying and reading my Bible as if nothing had happened. No, im not saying by any wise that one should just ignore his sins. Rather what i saying is since God has cast ours as far as the east is from the west, we should do so too. Cast them away! quickly and return to God. Those desires never go away. Nope! He won't take them away. Rather, He'll carry you away with Him to a place where the two of you can fellowship so deeply that you wont even think about the desires. I've went weeks without really wanting it. And in doing so ive felt great strength and power being restored to my life. My ministry has picked up and i no longer want to die. I want to live and fellowship happily with my God. God bless you dear. I hope this has helped you. Just run to him! Run to him! Never waste a second. And slowly but surely, you'll begin to see true change in your life. Its just how God wanted it.

 

[Missy]

Are we saying masterbation is a sin here? ?

If so, can someone explain to me why that is a sin? I'm not asking for anyones personal opinion, I would like to see a scriptural quote, that says it is a sin. I've never heard this before and I'm a little surprised that it has been regarded as sin.

 

[Missy]

It's sin, and grace doesn't give one a sin permit. I have serious questions about people who say those sorts of things, the first one would be.. 'Are you really a Christian?'

Baptistrw, you are always trying to judge someones salvation...lol


Matthew 7 1-2
Judge not, that you be not judged. For with the judgement you prounounce, you will be judged, and the measure you give will be the measure you get.

Maybe the Lord will ask the same question of you, "are you really a Christian"?

 

[Baptistrw]

Baptistrw, you are always trying to judge someones salvation...lol


Matthew 7 1-2
Judge not, that you be not judged. For with the judgement you prounounce, you will be judged, and the measure you give will be the measure you get.

Maybe the Lord will ask the same question of you, "are you really a Christian"?

I'm not a hypocrit, which is what that passage in Matthew used in context talks about.

 

[Baptistrw]

Are we saying masterbation is a sin here? ?

If so, can someone explain to me why that is a sin? I'm not asking for anyones personal opinion, I would like to see a scriptural quote, that says it is a sin. I've never heard this before and I'm a little surprised that it has been regarded as sin.

Fornication and lust are sin, both are involved with masterbation. It is sex with oneself. See Mt. 5:28

 

[wisdom24]

I am praying for you sweetie, just remember you're not alone. God still loves you no matter what. This christian journey is a daily process. God bless.

 

[Abing]

I am praying for you sweetie, just remember you're not alone. God still loves you no matter what. This christian journey is a daily process. God bless.

I agree. Just remember that God can move mountains.
Keep the faith. And i'll keep ya in my prayers

 

[RoboOp]

Scripture regarding masturbation: there is no explicit scripture on this.

But yes Jesus did say that if you look at a woman to lust after her, then you already did the sin in your heart. So, yes I would say that masturbation (for someone who is not married) is a sin. But it's a really tough one to overcome, and many many struggle with it. I don't want to say that it's a small sin, but certainly I'd rather someone fall into masturbation than fall into the actual physical act of fornication or adultery. But again I'm not saying that masturbation should be encouraged either.

On the other hand, I once read a write up on this by a pastor or Bible teacher who said the same thing I said above, but with one exception. I think he was answering the question "Is it okay for a married person to masturbate when they or their spouse is away (e.g., out of town)". He actually answered that yes it's okay if they're simply lusting after their own husband/wife. haha Anyway I couldn't disagree. Personally though I think it's not a good habit to get into, but I certainly can't judge a married person in that situation, and also I can't judge a non-married person for struggling with this extremely difficult issue.

Anyway here's what Paul says on this whole issue of "burning in passion/lust":


1Now for the matters you wrote about: It is good for a man not to marry. 2But since there is so much immorality, each man should have his own wife, and each woman her own husband. .... 8Now to the unmarried and the widows I say: It is good for them to stay unmarried, as I am. 9But if they cannot control themselves, they should marry, for it is better to marry than to burn with passion.

And Song of Solomon repeatedly says:

"Daughters of Jerusalem, I charge you by the gazelles and by the does of the field: Do not arouse or awaken love until it so desires."

According to what I've read, the "gazelles and does of the field" have their own particular mating season, you know..... and so do you.. and it's marriage.. so try not to arouse or awaken that passion until then........ which I know is hard..... being careful what you watch and stuff (movies, TV) might help a little.... but my main advice is stay close to God, and get married as soon as you can!

God bless

 

[NeedAMiracle]

Good post Robo. What advice can you (or anyone else) give for someone like me, that is 41, never been married, and doesn't see the possibility of getting married in his near future? I got addicted to masturbation at a very young age, and it quickly graduated to pornography. This addiction deeply, deeply, took hold of me, and has been a stronghold all my life. I didn't get saved until age 33 (and yes, I doubt my own salvation a lot of times because of it). I have also fallen away from the Lord, and lived in deep sexual sin for the last few years prior to me recently starting to desire to came back to Him. There's well over 20 years of stored up images, selfishness, and living for the flesh that are so engrained in my mind, and spirit right now.
Not that any sin is "worse" than the other (in God's eyes), but for 20 years it never escalated beyond porn, and masturbation. I visited the occasional strip-bars, and only recently I have been to see a few escorts (yes, something I'm not proud of considering I was a virgin only 'till last year at 40. That's something I can NEVER get back!). These never became strongholds, or addictive. The pornography is such a private sin though. With one click of a mouse you can be in an intoxicating world of fantasy land, and NO ONE will know! No one but you and God! You don't even have to leave the house anymore.
I'm getting away from the original intention of my post, but I just wanted to share a little about my story, and struggle with it. Trust me, it HAS destroyed my life. I've kept myself from ever getting into a loving relationship because deep, down inside, even before i was saved, I always knew it was wrong. I would never want to put someone I might be in love with one day through that kind of torment.
I've always though that I have the type of heart that longed to be married. I always wanted kids, and a family. I always wanted someone to love. My lust for porn has robbed that from me. Never mind, also the fact that once you become addicted to it, you are NEVER satisfied, and you are always trying to feed your flesh more, and more, and always looking for that "ultimate high". I can't tell you how many days I wasted in front of the computer for hours, upon hours looking for that "ultimate site" because I needed to feel more of a euphoria. It can, and will engulf your very being, and rob your life if you let it! Trust me, I know. I'm living it!!
My point is - If you struggle with this, and seriously want to be married, or have any kind of loving, trusting, healthy relationship with a member of the opposite sex, nip it in the bud NOW, or suffer the long-lasting consequences.

 

[pickles]

Everyone has given great advise. I just wanted you to know that you are in my prayers.
God bless, pickles

 

[songster]

I got addicted to masturbation at a very young age, and it quickly graduated to pornography. This addiction deeply, deeply, took hold of me, and has been a stronghold all my life.

NeedAMiracle, I want to encourage you by telling you that by acknowledging that this is a sin, you agree with God's word concerning perverseness. Perverseness is considered deviations from what is acceptable.

I want to tell you that you can beat this and it is by no means impossible, except for those who defend the behavior. You are the one who determines when you want to begin to give this struggle to God. It's his Grace and his Power alone that will give you the ability to resist, but as you've already found out, there are times when we over ride the grace of God by acting inspite of that Grace. I'm simply writing to you from experience. In those times when you know that you have the power to resist, Resist.

I Corinthians 10:13 ...

when you are tempted, he will also provide a way out so that you can stand up under it.

When you are injured, you go to a hospital and are surrounded by doctors, nurses and other healthcare professionals. An addiction such as this is not unlike someone with an injury. You need individuals who are experienced in prayer and support. God instructed us to confess our sins to each other so that we could be healed. Adam ran to hide himself when he knew he'd been disobedient. Run to God, confess to him, and give him this struggle, relying on His word which promises that He will provide you with a way of escape in the time of temptation, which will help you to bear it. That way of escape is God's Grace and His Power, which is able to strengthen you when you are at your weakest.

Sincerely seek out those who will be willing to listen to you and who will pray for you. Prayer and fellowship is absolutely necessary. Not simply your own prayers, but to be prayed for. If it were not for loving friends of mine who hold my name up before God in prayer, I would be in places I prefer not to mention.

This is a very real addiction, and depending on your predisposition to addictive behavior, this can lead to other forms of sexual activity. Only you know what this has caused in your life. Renounce pornography, masturbation, lust and anything else which is part of this habit. Be faithful in church attendance, in fellowship. Begin to rely on God's faithfulness and the prayers of those whose help you solicit. Take the way of escape which God has provided, His Grace.

 

[sportygirl]

I agree with alot of the posts above. It is definetly not something easy, to deal with especially for women, its considered normal for a guy in a lot of cases but for women its not as normal. I found out that this isnt true, its not as common in women but it does happen, and when i found this out helped with healing at least somewhat. On some level it is an addiction though, even if you dont do it alot, and they are right knowing its a sin is the first step and taking steps to help yourself get over it needs to come next, but it takes time. I wish I remembered the passage someone told me when I confessed to them my problem with this, if i remember ill let you know.

 

[wayne2328]

Are we saying masterbation is a sin here? ?

If so, can someone explain to me why that is a sin? I'm not asking for anyones personal opinion, I would like to see a scriptural quote, that says it is a sin. I've never heard this before and I'm a little surprised that it has been regarded as sin.

Adultry- sex with some one while being married to another!

FORICATION- ANY TYPE SEX OR SEXUALLY ACT BEFORE MARRIAGE - 1 pETER 2:11 FOR ONE