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Hello. I am new to CC and I am in need of guidance. I'm not sure where to start but here it goes--My husband and I have been together for 20 years but married for 15. We have 2 children-18 and 12. Our relationship has been rocky to say the least. We seem to be stuck in a terrible cycle...every 4 to 5 years we have terrible financial problems and my husband has an affair. It has been 1 affair before we were married (he says that we were broken up but he forgot to tell me) and 3 since we have been married...this one makes 5 all together. The last one ended with a child conceived with the other woman (this child is not in our lives by choice of the mother and us). Every time this happens, it is always my fault according to him...the finances, I don't show him enough attention, the house isn't clean enough, our children do not listen because I am not strict enough with them...etc. So, I am always begging God to show me what I am doing wrong and help to change me for good. I am not perfect but I really try to please him. We are happy in between his fits of rage but things go back to the way they have always been. I just don't know how to stop this cycle.
For a period of about 5 years, we were very active in a wonderful church but my husband quit his job and we had to move. I have always had a strong belief in God and turn to him in times of need but I just can't understand why my husband continues to have affairs. I feel so sad, alone, and unwanted. My husband says that he is going to leave but hasn't gone yet. I have tried to talk to him and tell him that I know what is happening but he just says that it's all in my head and I am holding things over his head from before.
I pray for God's will to be done and when my husband realizes what he is giving up, I feel as though this is what God wants but why again. Everytime he has an affair, he wants to make things right and says he will never do it again but he always does. I do not believe in divorce but I do not think that I can go through this another time. My heart is shattered but the crazy thing is that I still love him and want my marriage!
I really need prayers and advice. Thank you for listening...God Bless.
For a period of about 5 years, we were very active in a wonderful church but my husband quit his job and we had to move. I have always had a strong belief in God and turn to him in times of need but I just can't understand why my husband continues to have affairs. I feel so sad, alone, and unwanted. My husband says that he is going to leave but hasn't gone yet. I have tried to talk to him and tell him that I know what is happening but he just says that it's all in my head and I am holding things over his head from before.
I pray for God's will to be done and when my husband realizes what he is giving up, I feel as though this is what God wants but why again. Everytime he has an affair, he wants to make things right and says he will never do it again but he always does. I do not believe in divorce but I do not think that I can go through this another time. My heart is shattered but the crazy thing is that I still love him and want my marriage!
I really need prayers and advice. Thank you for listening...God Bless.