Never Gonna Fall In Love Again?

[AzureAfire]

That's a beautiful story Azureafire, even though its sad too. I can actually relate to it a lot because I went through a very similar thing with a girl and it also started when I was around 11 yrs old.

Thank you, brother! it was a bittersweet experience. I'm laughing at it now, but at that point in my life, i was really going crazy XD i'm amazed at how GOD makes our life so interesting and colorful. Now, my experience is a story i recount with pleasure and positivity

Oh, please do tell your story here too! I'd love to hear it, and others too, i'm sure only if you don't mind of course.

 

[AzureAfire]

What made me say that I would never fall in love again?
Last fall I started dating a girl who I knew really well. She had just got out of a relationship with a dude she'd been dating for 3 years, so I decided to wait for a while to ask her out. When I finally did ask her out, I was extremely excited when she agreed. Soon after we started dating, I started noticing how much she would talk about her ex- it was always in a negative tone though. To make a long story short, she ended up dumping me to go back to her ex two days before Christmas. The really sad thing is I asked her soon after we started dating if she would ever take her ex back if he came back to her begging on his hands and knees to get back together. In the end, she ended up running back to him. What she did hurt me bad. What also hurt really bad is that she, as a christian, chose to go back to her ex who verbally abused her and didn't believe in God. How was I supposed to feel when a girl i was in love with breaks up with me to be with a guy like that?

It's all good now. God( and time) heals all wounds!

Oh dear brother...that was awful! i guess she never really got over her ex, and you were just her rebound guy. I'm sad to know that you've went through a lot of pain because of that experience. But i'm glad you're over it now praise GOD!!! The best we can do is learn the most out of what we went through, and to long for GOD's ideal of romantic love for our lives. Thank you for sharing your story! i hope more brethren would share their experiences here. Keep sharing your thoughts and experiences on love here, brother

It is a wonder how one can go back to a love like that...i myself was in a relationship with an abusive man who converted from Christianity to Islam. I suffered physical, emotional and mental abuse in his hands...but i didn't have the heart to leave him. I held onto the knowledge that he is sweet and gentle and warm when he wasn't angry or frustrated with his life. A woman stays with a love that she decides she doesn't want to give up on, regardless of the pain and suffering she has to endure. It's martyrdom.

But of course, it was wrong. It is never GOD's intent for any of HIS children to subject themselves to any of that, more so to give their love to someone who is unworthy and unequally yoked. It was a lesson i learned very hard. I was attracted to disturbed and struggling people...i guess my nature that was fond of enigmas and challenges encouraged that. I know it's not wrong to love and care for people who are broken...i was broken myself. But it is definitely not wise to enter into a romantic relationship with them, when what they really need is GOD's love and guidance, and not a lover.

Thankfully, GOD has shown me that the love HE wants for me is HIS love first, and HIS representative of HIS love for me second. So now, i'm happily in love with the LORD, at peace with myself and content being single. Someday, at the right time, when we're both ready, GOD will lead us to each other the very thought excites me! and i'm sure HE will lead you to that lady love after GOD's own heart soon, brother!

 

[Loveneverfails]

Thanks for sharing your experiences, Azure.

I've had my heart bruised and beaten at least 2 times in my life, and I know that while I was in the moment, I thought I was in love.

One thing I remember clearly is that even in the moments of my deepest heartache, I don't think I ever thought to myself "I'll never fall in love again", or even "I never want to fall in love again". I have only God to credit for that. I have very clear memories of certain situations where I was so heartbroken that the pain was physical. In times like that, especially for a teenage girl, it is SO tempting to listen to worldly wisdom, or to give in to self-pity, but I remember very clearly that during these times specific scriptures kept popping into my head and my heart and they wouldn't relent. They were verses that spoke about God's love, His comfort, His mercy, His forgiveness, and His plans for me as His precious daughter.

He healed me and brought me through my times of pain in ways that worldly self-help guides ever could, and I believe that's the only reason why I never even thought about giving up on love. I believe that He has a plan for my life, including my love life, and even if I don't know what those plans are, I know they are always good.

 

[AsifinPassing]

Wow impressive! Not many people are like that.

I'm like that...or was the first dozen times...it'd be hard to say now, but I'd like to think I'm still mostly so. Anyway, I'll have to really read and think about my response soon. ^^0 (How's Everyone been? PM if not wanting to spam or troll...)

 

[SeatBelt]

I have more than my share of reasons to be "gun shy."
I feel I've gone into them enough elsewhere, but if you disagree, PM me and I'll elaborate.

I came to this site with the intention of positive Christian fellowship to help me learn to trust others again.
I'm still not there 100% on the trust thing, but God has shocked me at how fast He can change me if I step out of the way first.

I've always been up front and honest about my status and intentions, or lack there of.
So to continue with transparency, I'll admit to being "tush over teacup" over someone.
I am, however, striving to not pursue anything too quickly, given my status.
Please don't be a gossip if you know more, or think you know more. (Do I really need a scriptural reference for that?!?)
& deer not lest ye be deer'ed. (Matthew 7:1-3, Queen Cris Version)
Like I said, striving to not pursue too quickly, given my status.

God's got a sense of humor, and sometimes I look around and discover I can be a punchline. It teaches me humility in the process.

 

[Jullianna]

I can't imagine not wanting to love again and do not regret having loved anyone. They were in my life for a reason and while I discovered things about them along the way that I did not care for or that did not fit with my life, the things I loved about them remain. I learned a great deal from them and hope they can say the same.

I know it's kinda corny, but when I think about this topic, I think about this song.

[video=youtube;2Ru1M6dY0cY]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2Ru1M6dY0cY[/video]

My apologies to the country music haters, but these lyrics say it for me.

 

[DuchessAimee]

I've loved a couple of times in my life, but I always chose men who would leave and/or were emotionally unavailable. I was told growing up that I would never know for sure if a man liked/loved me, so I needed to be able to take care of myself. I needed to be tough and untrusting. If I was too pretty men would take advantage of me, so I needed to guard myself. I was taught that love was elusive and men were untrustworthy. I still struggle with men being untrustworthy because I have found that someone who was supposed to be solid, isn't. But on the other hand I know some very good men...


Anyway, I'm having to unravel the lies I've believed for so long. I want an actual relationship that will last the rest of my life. I want to be so open with someone that he sees who I actually am-- not just who he wants me to be. I want many things out of a relationship now. I want to be vulnerable, I want to know I have a soft place to fall. I remember one of my boyfriends once told me that I couldn't be weak, that I had to always be strong because that's what people needed out of me. But I need someone I can turn to, I need someone who will comfort me, I need someone who actually loves me.


I will fall in love again, I'm sure. But this time I will choose someone worthy of the love and attention I have to offer. I'm not going to throw my pearls before swine any more. My love and attention is precious. My love and attention is worth something. I've been told that I'm a great girlfriend and would make a good wife and mother. They're right.



I finally see that they're right.

 

[GreenNnice]

I ran with a girl 13 miles after having never run that far before, and, did it at a fairly fast clip, as she was training for a marathon, we talked the whole time, and, when done, I could have run 13 more miles with that girl, I have no doubt, I was not even tired. I have no doubt that God was saying something there, if I wasn't in love, I guess, one could call it something else but, to me, it felt like love. But, this was college's first winter and we'd met in the fall our frosh years and hung out lunches the first month of school, that was all. So, was it lust, infatuation, I don't think so, or, at least, God bridled that, I dunno, falling in love....Besides that, no, I've liked girls, at times, got to know them through internet conversation stages, like e-harmony, but was never in love. I don't think one can be in love with someone IF you've never actually met them in person. I will get flack for saying that probably, but, that is how I feel. The internet can be a GREAT way to get to know someone but, until you, actually, pray heavily before going out on a physical encounter, or, date, you are NOT in true love.

All that said, it's dangerous to fall in love, it's a worldly word, that is said in Scripture many times. Never once does it say in commandments we are to love our spouse with all our heart, or love our spouse as ourselves, but, Scripture DOES say, we are to : 1) Love God with all our heart, mind, and, body, and soul. 2) Love OUR NEIGHBORS as we love ourselves. And, I think that second 'love' is with a capital 'L' too because we SHOULD Love ourselves as God wants us too. Loving ourselves can seem selfish, hard to do, but God says we do do it, and, I think, that is a good thing, for how can you truly Love others if you don't Love yourself as God intended, with His own Love having been given you, that Love should become us too, to God, to others who are our neighbors, and, ourselves

 

[Shouryu]

deer not lest ye be deer'ed. (Matthew 7:1-3, Queen Cris Version)

Okay, there has GOT to be a way to like a post more than once, because I need to, just for this line.

*re-rail*

For me, this issue is that I'm just very cautious. I've always been very cautious; it's not a side-effect of my recent past, although likely won't help the situation. I'm sure if I meet the right person, it'll happen again. It's just that as I get older, I meet fewer people, and the people I meet of a similar age are already taken. ^_^

 

[secularhermit]

I will fall again. Loving is not a sin, but A GIFT, a privilege.

I will fall in love, with the one who comes near, with the one who accepts me as I AM.

 

[Jullianna]

I've loved a couple of times in my life, but I always chose men who would leave and/or were emotionally unavailable. I was told growing up that I would never know for sure if a man liked/loved me, so I needed to be able to take care of myself. I needed to be tough and untrusting. If I was too pretty men would take advantage of me, so I needed to guard myself. I was taught that love was elusive and men were untrustworthy. I still struggle with men being untrustworthy because I have found that someone who was supposed to be solid, isn't. But on the other hand I know some very good men...


Anyway, I'm having to unravel the lies I've believed for so long. I want an actual relationship that will last the rest of my life. I want to be so open with someone that he sees who I actually am-- not just who he wants me to be. I want many things out of a relationship now. I want to be vulnerable, I want to know I have a soft place to fall. I remember one of my boyfriends once told me that I couldn't be weak, that I had to always be strong because that's what people needed out of me. But I need someone I can turn to, I need someone who will comfort me, I need someone who actually loves me.


I will fall in love again, I'm sure. But this time I will choose someone worthy of the love and attention I have to offer. I'm not going to throw my pearls before swine any more. My love and attention is precious. My love and attention is worth something. I've been told that I'm a great girlfriend and would make a good wife and mother. They're right.



I finally see that they're right.

I wish I could super like or rep this...mean ole server

One of the best things you've ever written, Aimee.

 

[AzureAfire]

I've loved a couple of times in my life, but I always chose men who would leave and/or were emotionally unavailable. I was told growing up that I would never know for sure if a man liked/loved me, so I needed to be able to take care of myself. I needed to be tough and untrusting. If I was too pretty men would take advantage of me, so I needed to guard myself. I was taught that love was elusive and men were untrustworthy. I still struggle with men being untrustworthy because I have found that someone who was supposed to be solid, isn't. But on the other hand I know some very good men...


Anyway, I'm having to unravel the lies I've believed for so long. I want an actual relationship that will last the rest of my life. I want to be so open with someone that he sees who I actually am-- not just who he wants me to be. I want many things out of a relationship now. I want to be vulnerable, I want to know I have a soft place to fall. I remember one of my boyfriends once told me that I couldn't be weak, that I had to always be strong because that's what people needed out of me. But I need someone I can turn to, I need someone who will comfort me, I need someone who actually loves me.


I will fall in love again, I'm sure. But this time I will choose someone worthy of the love and attention I have to offer. I'm not going to throw my pearls before swine any more. My love and attention is precious. My love and attention is worth something. I've been told that I'm a great girlfriend and would make a good wife and mother. They're right.



I finally see that they're right.

Sis, i see myself through you. What i was like before...loving a guy like i'm asking for a broken heart.

I wondered for a long time why i chose the men i chose for the purpose of loving them and longing to be their wife. My friends kept telling me that i deserved better...that they didn't deserve what i had to offer, which was a pure and unconditional love. They were so messed up...disturbed, and unstable. But i always found beauty inspite of brokenness...maybe it's because i was so broken and messed up then myself, but i didn't know that until GOD has shone HIS light completely upon me, revealing every nook and cranny in my soul. I am more than grateful for everything that GOD has revealed, and is continuing to reveal in my life, as i walk with HIM and delight myself in HIS presence and HIS Word.

Sister, i'm taking your hand as you walk this path with a renewed heart and resolve. I'm with you in this path, for this is also what i truly want for my life. A love that is worthy of me, and all the love, care and support i have to offer. I know now too that i'm worthy of the love that i long for: pure, deep, true, made beautiful and strong by our GOD who teaches us to love. Indeed, i am a prize to be won, and only the one who's worthy can receive my heart they better step up, and ask GOD for it in prayer. HE's the one holding my heart, and HE'll give it to that man who has HIS heart for me knowing that makes me feel so excited for what's to come!

 

[DuchessAimee]

I wish I could super like or rep this...mean ole server

One of the best things you've ever written, Aimee.

Thanks Jullianna

 

[AzureAfire]

I ran with a girl 13 miles after having never run that far before, and, did it at a fairly fast clip, as she was training for a marathon, we talked the whole time, and, when done, I could have run 13 more miles with that girl, I have no doubt, I was not even tired. I have no doubt that God was saying something there, if I wasn't in love, I guess, one could call it something else but, to me, it felt like love. But, this was college's first winter and we'd met in the fall our frosh years and hung out lunches the first month of school, that was all. So, was it lust, infatuation, I don't think so, or, at least, God bridled that, I dunno, falling in love....Besides that, no, I've liked girls, at times, got to know them through internet conversation stages, like e-harmony, but was never in love. I don't think one can be in love with someone IF you've never actually met them in person. I will get flack for saying that probably, but, that is how I feel. The internet can be a GREAT way to get to know someone but, until you, actually, pray heavily before going out on a physical encounter, or, date, you are NOT in true love.

All that said, it's dangerous to fall in love, it's a worldly word, that is said in Scripture many times. Never once does it say in commandments we are to love our spouse with all our heart, or love our spouse as ourselves, but, Scripture DOES say, we are to : 1) Love God with all our heart, mind, and, body, and soul. 2) Love OUR NEIGHBORS as we love ourselves. And, I think that second 'love' is with a capital 'L' too because we SHOULD Love ourselves as God wants us too. Loving ourselves can seem selfish, hard to do, but God says we do do it, and, I think, that is a good thing, for how can you truly Love others if you don't Love yourself as God intended, with His own Love having been given you, that Love should become us too, to God, to others who are our neighbors, and, ourselves

If running 13 miles with someone without getting tired doesn't show even a glimmer of love in it, i'd find it strange or unacceptable XD brother, you are right to say you felt love in that experience. I also run, so i know it's no joke to be running 13 miles. If this girl detached your mind completely from your body so you never felt tired then as you ran...she's definitely something. GOD is so wonderful when HE gives us these experiences that make us say "Hey, i actually was able to do that?" when HE places certain people in our lives to touch and stir within us an inspiration that's just indescribable in it's ability to move us.

But yes, indeed. Falling in love can be dangerous, when our feelings aren't reigned in or put under control. And also, when we confuse it with the real thing, which is the actual loving process. Loving someone is much deeper than falling in love with someone. It asks us to see the real person for who he/she is, and to truly accept this person completely, and choose to devote ourselves to them and give to them just as GOD gives to us. Wholeheartedly and unselfishly, in all righteousness and truth. Falling in love is more of a prelude to the possibility of loving somebody. So it's important to submit our hearts and minds to Christ before anything else, and ask for HIS guidance, wisdom and discernment. Otherwise, we might be setting ourselves up for a broken heart, or worse...grieving the Holy Spirit and damaging our intimacy with GOD, when we fall into sin and temptation. GOD comes first. That's the only way to go, in matters of the heart or anything else. And every other thing follows, as HE adds them up to us and that is a beautiful thing, 'coz when HE makes the move, it's always breathtakingly amazing!

 

[AzureAfire]

Guys, i'm absolutely loving the sharing that we're having on this thread! i'm happy that i started it! I'm learning so much more about all of you, your experiences and your thoughts on love. Keep the stories and love thoughts coming in! it's all so wonderful, and i praise GOD for all that HE's done in our lives!!!

For anyone who might be mistaken, this isn't a regret thread. For me, it's an invitation to walk down memory lane, and to share our past and our thoughts with laughter, or tears (hopefully no one is crying yet, though XD), and most certainly, an abundance of GOD's love and truth. To be clear, i most certainly do not regret all that has happened in my life (except when i fell into sin countless times. That's nothing to be proud of, grieving GOD's heart has broken my heart too...it's HIS mercy and grace and love that has given me hope, peace, and renewed joy and vigor to move on). All that i am now is because of all that i've learned in the past. GOD is the Author of my life, and i am more than grateful for the evidence of HIM truly taking HIS time to make a masterpiece out of my brokenness. I'm proud to say that i'm HIS awesome and beautiful work in progress we most certainly all are, for we are HIS beloved!

Although i have mouthed countless times that i'll never fall in love again (when you have gone through periods of emotional rollercoasters that rival the craziness of riding an actual rollercoaster with barrel rolls galore, i believe you will too XD), i never said that i'll never love again. For me, there could never be any regret in loving somebody. I am happy that, through the experience i had in loving them, they are now forever in my heart i believe that everyone deserves to be loved. Christian or otherwise. In fact, everyone needs to be loved. I am glad to say that i have been able to love the unlovable...to see the beauty that some people miss. To find interest in what some only saw as ugly, plain or mundane. It's like being able to see a whole new world...a secret garden of sorts. I've never regretted discovering other people's hearts and minds the way i did. I've never regretted to know how deeply i could learn to love someone. From everything i've been through, i've come to know that everyone is beautiful and wonderful, in their own unique and special way. GOD has made us all so awesomely, that's why and i have been led to finally discover that i am beautiful and wonderful too, and worth loving in the process. GOD be praised and exalted, for all that HE has done!!!

With that said, i also do believe that not everyone is entitled our hearts for breaking purposes XD yes, we open up ourselves to love. But we can't be carelessly laying it around where it could be so easily bruised and manipulated...as if it's something that's not precious and worth treasuring at all. A balance must be struck, and the right kind of love dispensed at the right time. So we really need to abide in GOD, so we'd know just how to do that. HE is love, and the Lover of our souls. Who else can better teach us about loving others, loving ourselves, and loving HIM (the very purpose of our existence)?

I hope you're enjoying all this sharing as i do Let's continue our walk in this lane together, shall we?

 

[TigerScent777]

I love to love and vice versa. I don't think I have every said 'I will never love again', however I cannot understand how callous and cold some can be though, after all that has been said and affirmed; something that occurred in my past last relationship. Now its something I try and identify; if someone comes across as showing tendencies of being a cold-blooded person, they can nicely pass me by with a smile

...however someone with fire that shows depth of heart and consistency - means a great deal ... and I look forward to knowing them a whole lot more

 

[DuchessAimee]

"We accept the love we think we deserve." Perks of Being a Wallflower.


Think about that and reflect back on your past relationships. Think about your current involvements too. Think about your crushes, who you like, who you love, how they treat you, think about who they actually are.

I have accepted crumbs from people in the past because that's what I thought I deserved. But I was wrong. I deserve to be loved like Christ loves the church. I deserve to be happy and healthy. I shouldn't have to beg for scraps.


No, I deserve a love that will mold me and change me. I deserve a Godly man who will be head of the household, who will lead me and our amazingly cute children closer to Christ. I deserve to be wholeheartedly loved, and I won't settle for less.