I know it is frustrating when God seems to allow pain or misery consume us. I remember one night praying when I was having a horrible anxiety attack... AND POOF IT WAS GONE. It was like it never existed... Funny thing was though, when it disappeared I wanted it back for some reason... Can't tell you why I did, but I craved it...
I know it seems like we keep fighting demons and fighting the world and fighting this and fighting that... But man, just stop, chill, and praise God. Because all those battles are already won. I know this is the hardest thing to accept but its crazy man... I don't even understand it...
And about the question on the parameter of, 'why is God allowing this to happen'. I heard it explained this way once and it made a lot of sense to me.
If God was to give you your perfect girl friend today, so perfect that you instantly knew you were to be wed. I don't know about you but... I personally would take advantage of her, and not respect her, and probably let her take advantage of me.
But if God showed me a few girls who were not the correct match for me. I would understand what a relationship is about, I would understand how to be in one and how to make it work. I would also praise God for the correct girl to come into my life when she did.
It is not like God is cruel or likes to see his followers in pain... NO, God understands and knows each of our hearts... And He can see what this problem will mold us into for the future... We can only assume what a problem will transpire into when it becomes a strength... But God knows what it can do...
My family also fights constantly... Recently it has been like a WWE ring... A lot of trash talk and then boom... Things start flying and people get hurt... And here I am trying to be the ref and Boom chair upside the head...
I can empathize for your situation. Just try to follow Jesus' teachings... Everything will turn out good in the long run...
P.s. Jesus said the one who will be the greatest in the kingdom of heaven is the one who is the lowest on earth. By putting this post man, you have shown a lot of humility... And have acted very Christlike... And no one on this site is perfect or even close to great... All we can do is try.