Hello Amber,
I remember talking with you briefly in chatrooms. I just want to encourage you to know that you are endowed with gifts and talents which are useful to the body of Christ (the church), and that you are special in God's eyes. You've always been a joy to talk to and I'm always glad to see you in the chatrooms.
As a sidenote, remember that the enemy of our souls, (devils), prey on how we see ourselves, and what we believe about ourselves. For the longest time, I didn't think that the enemy could plant thoughts, but he absolutely can, and does. I would awaken in the morning sometimes, hearing negative things that I believed about myself.
Once the enemy knows that we are struggling to see ourselves the way that God sees us, he takes advantage of it by trying to reinforce those beliefs, many times using our own words.
I urge you to become more aware of your thoughts, especially the ones that rob you of your sense of worth, thoughts like, "they don't like me", "I think I offended them", "I know they think I'm strange". These thoughts are lies. Most times we presume to know what others are thinking about us, and many times the truth is just the opposite. Communication is a great way to tear down these walls. First, be certain that nothing will ever change the amount of love God has for you, and nothing will separate you from that love. You didn't earn what you have, and you don't have to do anything special to keep it.
You're special because you're different, your experiences, your character and everything about you is unique. You have great value. Ask God to deliver you from negative thinking, and to help you to reject negative thoughts when they come, as you discover who you really are in Christ.
You are Loved,
Todd