HeisallIneed, You touched my heart. Thanks for the honesty of your post.
You know, the greatest paradox in the world is that only from complete brokenness is there a full and fresh beginning. And the beauty of life is that it provides us ample opportunity, and each day may be seen as one, where our brokenness can be transformed into something magnificently beautiful. But not without simple surrender to Jesus Christ.
When we are broken, we become strangely honest. When we are honest, we are reachable. When we are reachable, God speaks into our lives, we listen, we learn, and we apply. The darkest hour creates the brightest beginning.
God bless your life and I am praying for God's healing touch, in all areas of your life.