Hi Noah,
Praise God that He forgives and He makes us new! Before I was saved I was addicted to pills and alcohol. I was also very self destructive and constantly destroying everything I touched (relationship wise!) BUT GOD. Oh praise God for the "BUT GOD's" in Scripture! But God in His mercy... saved us... not according to our goodness, but His! It took me almost a year to get sober, but by GOD's grace, I am now clean almost 12 years. Isn't HE amazing!! The verse that I leaned on most during the first year was both 2 Cor 5:17 and Romans 12:1. Noah, I know with the Holy Spirit and God's help you can get and stay clean and sober. I highly suggest you find as much support as you can and surround yourself with accountability. Cry out to JESUS! He will answer! Another helpful thing is to read the Word each morning, write and memorize verses you feel God speaking to you and write out your prayers. You aren't alone in this. SO many people struggle. BUT GOD IS GREATER than any of the devils lies. May you lean on Him and trust Him today and every day- nothing is impossible for Him!
In His grace,
Mary
[FONT="]I appeal to you therefore, brothers, by the mercies of God, to present your bodies as a living sacrifice, holy and acceptable to God, which is your spiritual worship.[/FONT][FONT="] [/FONT][FONT="] Do not be conformed to this world, but be transformed by the renewal of your mind, that by testing you may discern what is the will of God, what is good and acceptable and perfect. Romans 12:1-2
Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, he is a new creation. The old has passed away; behold, the new has come. All this is from God, who through Christ reconciled us to himself and gave us the ministry of reconciliation; that is, in Christ God was reconciling the world to himself, not counting their trespasses against them, and entrusting to us the message of reconciliation. 2 Cor 5:17-19[/FONT]