C
So, for all you that don’t know me, my name is Caleb, and I live in Ontario. I was born and raised in a Christian family, with two older brothers. I asked Jesus into my heart at the age of 5 with the help of my older brother. When I was in grade 2 my best friend’s parents got divorced and he took it out on me, this is when my bad self esteem started. It started out as boys just fighting to solve their problems, but than it turned into the most hatred of my life. I dreaded going to school, and I would get into a fight with my former friend at least once a week. In grade 4 I first tried pot, but didn’t try it again until grade 6, which is when I started doing pot more often. Through out these years the fights continued, with maybe a month or two breaks in between them. By grade 8 I was pretty much doing pot 5 times a week at least, I also started watching porn around grade 6, and the fights still continued. Every summer I would go off to a Christian camp, and when I came back I swore that I would put all my past behind me, but whether it would last a week or a few months, I’d always fall back into my sins. By grade 8 I was getting my pot laced with stuff without realizing it. At first, it was laced with E, and I just thought wow that was amazing, E’s not as bad as everyone says, than it was being laced with anything and everything. My self esteem was not getting any better either, see I wasn’t and I’m not the skinniest kid, I’m not fat, but I’m not skinny. Near the end of grade 8, I was almost charged for assault fighting the kid that I kept getting into fights with, I gave him a severe concussion and I was very fortunate not to be charged. Around this time I almost completely stopped watching porn, but I had the odd relapse here and there. I was starting to get tired of the many "masks" that I had, one for church, so I could keep up my good church boy impression for my parents and pastor, than my other mask for my friends, so I could still "fit in", but I just ignored and lived on. Grade 9 started, and I pretty much seized onto all the freedom, by doing drugs whenever I could, back into watching porn, and drinking quite a bit. In the winter of grade 9 my aunt and mom got into quite a heated argument resulting in not being able to see my cousins and not liking my aunt that much and hating my uncle. To this day, my aunt and mom still don’t talk, and I don’t see my cousins, and we live in the same small town. I kind of just stopped drugs randomly it was weird, but my sinful nature took over the drugs spot. I got a severe sports injury and was required to have 2 surgeries performed on me. I was given Codeine as a painkiller. I ended up purposely taking way to much Codeine, and had some not so nice side effects. I experimented with self injury, and slumped into a depression. It was right around this time that God put a friend back into my life from 3 years ago, and she was a friend from camp. She encouraged me to get right with God, and re-estalish my relationship with him. I figured I’d give God one last chance, and if he did nothing, whatever I didn’t lose anything. So, I started praying a little bit, and in literally less than a minute I felt the presence of God so strong, from that moment I never wanted to do drugs ever again, because I realized that God was the ultimate high. I immediately began to praise God like never before. I couldn’t believe that he still wanted me after all I had done, but he did
. I went home and started reading my bible. Ever since I’ve been ready to do whatever he has in store for me. Although I’m still sick of what the world is becoming, and sometimes I wonder what the point is, I still keep on moving. My goal in life is to do whatever God tells me to do, and see as many people as possible come to know the Lord. To this day I still struggle with pornography, although I have been clean from all drugs for a while. Whenever I feel tempted I take a step back, view the possibilities and consequences, and pray. I still mess up on a daily basis, but God is always there to pick me up. That is my testiomony. Praise be to God.
. I went home and started reading my bible. Ever since I’ve been ready to do whatever he has in store for me. Although I’m still sick of what the world is becoming, and sometimes I wonder what the point is, I still keep on moving. My goal in life is to do whatever God tells me to do, and see as many people as possible come to know the Lord. To this day I still struggle with pornography, although I have been clean from all drugs for a while. Whenever I feel tempted I take a step back, view the possibilities and consequences, and pray. I still mess up on a daily basis, but God is always there to pick me up. That is my testiomony. Praise be to God.
