Settling and being picky
- Thread starter rachelsedge
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G
What is needed to balance all of this is the honest and sincere belief that there is actually more than one compatible potential mate available in the world ( perhaps - even many ) -- at least one of which, God is willing to bring into your life. Remember - God can do anything. The only questions are - is He willing to give you the companion that you desire to have in your life? - and, what will He decide is the right time / place / circumstances / etc...?
If there is "only one in all the world" -- that is fine, I guess - but, only God knows who she is and He will have to place her "within my reach" - and "show her to me" - and see to it that, when we cross paths - a "connection" is made that will keep us "connected" until we build a relationship that ends up in marriage. ( The point being -- God has to do most of the work until we actually meet and then get to know each other well enough for us to want to stay "connected" in a relationship. ( i.e. - "until the ball is rolling..." - God has to "get the ball rolling" ) )
If there are 100,000 available compatible potential mates -- the same thing applies - only, what God has to do to bring us together is not nearly as "unique" in the grand scheme of things -- and, that - more "doors" may be "opened"...
Looking at it from a Christian perspective -- we must trust God to do what we cannot -- do what we can to "help God help us" -- and, "keep an eye out for the door to open" when God presents / shows it to us. And then - we should "take it from there" - with diligence ( and, continued trust in the Lord, of course - for guidance ) - to 'test' and 'prove' whether or not this is 'the one'...
In any case - I have come to believe that God must / will "have a hand in it" for there to develop a successful relationship that may be sustained for a lifetime.
Needless to say --- we all have 'criteria' for 'must have', 'it would be nice', 'not that big of a deal', etc. type considerations while searching for a mate. Some of us are more "picky" than others.
"To each his / her own..."
It may be necessary for some and not so much for others. God knows us better than we know ourselves -- and, He may actually be using our preferences ( I believe He even "puts some of them in us"... ) to help direct us to the one who He has in mind...
The real point to all that I am saying is ------- it is highly more likely that there are several completely compatible potential mates available for each of us -- as opposed to there being "only one in all the world" - even though God no doubt has His own "priority list" for who would be a better mate... Any one of several potential mates could be just as "workable" in the plan of God for our life.
I know one thing --- I would sure hate to miss out on "the only one in the world" - and, not have another option available...
To put it another way -- in large part - I believe it is about two people deciding that they want to share the rest of their lives together - and, are willing to do whatever-it-takes to "stick together and stay together" - "come what may" - for life --- and the rest is essentially a matter of 'compatibility' and 'preferences'...
The idea of "settling" - I believe - comes from the belief that there is always "a better option" that we "should hold out for" - but, decide to "give up on" - because of impatience or ... ?
Do you not believe that God will put a / the right one in your life? ( 'a' => "one of more than one 'right' ones available" ) And, especially, earlier rather than later? ( Remember that God surely has a "priority list" for you. )
Selecting one of 100,000 available compatible potential mates - each one equally being a God-given blessing for your life - is not "settling"...
It is only "settling" if you make your choice while still believing that there is "one better out there somewhere" -- instead of believing that "this is the one I want"... ( i.e. - "I am not going to look any further - I have found what I need / want" )
And, if there be several "right ones" available -- how much of it all is God's decision and how much of it is ours...???
If you find a sufficient compatible match --- someone you can love and cherish for the rest of your life --- what are you waiting for???
The thing to be careful of is - who is God putting in your life - to enhance it -- and who is Satan putting in your life - to destroy it?
"You only get out of it what you put into it. There are hard decisions to make and unavoidable risks to take."
( I really hope all of this makes some sense... )
If there is "only one in all the world" -- that is fine, I guess - but, only God knows who she is and He will have to place her "within my reach" - and "show her to me" - and see to it that, when we cross paths - a "connection" is made that will keep us "connected" until we build a relationship that ends up in marriage. ( The point being -- God has to do most of the work until we actually meet and then get to know each other well enough for us to want to stay "connected" in a relationship. ( i.e. - "until the ball is rolling..." - God has to "get the ball rolling" ) )
If there are 100,000 available compatible potential mates -- the same thing applies - only, what God has to do to bring us together is not nearly as "unique" in the grand scheme of things -- and, that - more "doors" may be "opened"...
Looking at it from a Christian perspective -- we must trust God to do what we cannot -- do what we can to "help God help us" -- and, "keep an eye out for the door to open" when God presents / shows it to us. And then - we should "take it from there" - with diligence ( and, continued trust in the Lord, of course - for guidance ) - to 'test' and 'prove' whether or not this is 'the one'...
In any case - I have come to believe that God must / will "have a hand in it" for there to develop a successful relationship that may be sustained for a lifetime.
Needless to say --- we all have 'criteria' for 'must have', 'it would be nice', 'not that big of a deal', etc. type considerations while searching for a mate. Some of us are more "picky" than others.
"To each his / her own..."
It may be necessary for some and not so much for others. God knows us better than we know ourselves -- and, He may actually be using our preferences ( I believe He even "puts some of them in us"... ) to help direct us to the one who He has in mind...
The real point to all that I am saying is ------- it is highly more likely that there are several completely compatible potential mates available for each of us -- as opposed to there being "only one in all the world" - even though God no doubt has His own "priority list" for who would be a better mate... Any one of several potential mates could be just as "workable" in the plan of God for our life.
I know one thing --- I would sure hate to miss out on "the only one in the world" - and, not have another option available...
To put it another way -- in large part - I believe it is about two people deciding that they want to share the rest of their lives together - and, are willing to do whatever-it-takes to "stick together and stay together" - "come what may" - for life --- and the rest is essentially a matter of 'compatibility' and 'preferences'...
The idea of "settling" - I believe - comes from the belief that there is always "a better option" that we "should hold out for" - but, decide to "give up on" - because of impatience or ... ?
Do you not believe that God will put a / the right one in your life? ( 'a' => "one of more than one 'right' ones available" ) And, especially, earlier rather than later? ( Remember that God surely has a "priority list" for you. )
Selecting one of 100,000 available compatible potential mates - each one equally being a God-given blessing for your life - is not "settling"...
It is only "settling" if you make your choice while still believing that there is "one better out there somewhere" -- instead of believing that "this is the one I want"... ( i.e. - "I am not going to look any further - I have found what I need / want" )
And, if there be several "right ones" available -- how much of it all is God's decision and how much of it is ours...???
If you find a sufficient compatible match --- someone you can love and cherish for the rest of your life --- what are you waiting for???
The thing to be careful of is - who is God putting in your life - to enhance it -- and who is Satan putting in your life - to destroy it?
"You only get out of it what you put into it. There are hard decisions to make and unavoidable risks to take."
( I really hope all of this makes some sense... )
1
If you're 25 or older, and still single it's because you've chosen to be. (This doesn't apply to extenuating circumstances.)
There are millions of perfectly fine marriable people on this planet. There are hundreds of websites dedicated to single people putting up ads declaring.."Hey I'm single, I want to get married." Access to marriable single people has never been so easy or convenient.
There are plenty of Godly, good, marriable people out there.
So if you're 25 or over and single, it's cuz you want to be single.
There are millions of perfectly fine marriable people on this planet. There are hundreds of websites dedicated to single people putting up ads declaring.."Hey I'm single, I want to get married." Access to marriable single people has never been so easy or convenient.
There are plenty of Godly, good, marriable people out there.
So if you're 25 or over and single, it's cuz you want to be single.
J
Did you not mean to put it in the second list?
Had I not included it, the people might have thought I meant they do not want to marry a Christian.