I don't look at a honeymoon as a 'sex romp' but as a beautiful and powerful time for a husband and wife, a time of true intimacy and discovering the beauty of sex as God intends it.
I find it curious that many claim that God's mind is inscrutable, yet so many claim to know what he was thinking...
I think the beauty of life is also in rediscovering the simple pleasures. In that sense, I could say that even for those who have had intimate relationships, a honeymoon is a beautiful and powerful time for a husband and wife, a time of true intimacy and
rediscovering the beauty of sex. I won't say as 'God intends it' because I'm not going to unnecessarily separate people based on their faith or lack thereof. People are people are people. If some think of it as God, Allah, YWHW, Brahman, Buddha, whatever, so be it, so long as they restrict such judgements upon themselves and don't impose it on others.
I also know about divorce rates in and out of the church. The important part of the statistics are missing, however, parts such as 1. were they sexually active before marriage; 2. did they have more than one partner before marriage; 3. were they unfaithful within the marriage, whether simply by flirting or oversharing emotion with the opposite sex or by out and out adultry; 4. (and this can only be answered in the heart of each person) was God truly centered and involved in your marriage?
1 and 2 I truly do not know, 3 I would think would be strongly correlated to divorce,
(this seems to suggest that
14 Surprising Facts about Marriage, Affairs & Divorce - iVillage)
and 4 is up to personal preferences. I don't know if this would have an impact or not, what with religious people thinking their marriage was truly centered on God vs people's marriages who were actually centered on God. This can't be objectively determined, we can only observe the subjective feelings of the people.
I don't idealize marriage, however, I know that God intended marriage to be a safe place for true intimacy and love, a place to know and learn and grow together. Our culture has minimalized this.
I agree, with the condition of course that we reword that God bit to say that marriage should be a safe place to... But to each his own, I basically agree with what you say.
This is evident with your statement "all that matters is love", which is not true. If that were true, there wouldn't be so many issues with premarital sex and God wouldn't have established boundaries regarding sex and purity, which He most specifically did. What matters is God and His place in your life.
I think it is mostly the religious who are making issues about premarital sex, but I basically agree. Premarital sex would be much inferior to premarital love in my eyes. As for God establishing such boundaries, I'm not sure exactly where sex outside of marriage is described as fornication or if it is. I just find it interesting that in the OT if a newlywed wife is not 'pure' she is to be stoned, but it says nothing about the status of the man. Anyhow, Christians can listen to God, it is their right, but they cannot impose their religious commandments on others who do not share the same faith.
God is primary in my life.
If that makes you happy I have nothing against it.
I am in no rush whatsoever to marry or to have sex. I am content, willing, and able to wait. Marriage is a wonderful, beautiful thing
So far I am in complete agreement.
and to believe anything else is to look at what this world states marriage to be, not what God states it to be, which is two becoming one flesh. That is not to say that there won't be things that need to be worked through. Marriage does, in fact, involve two fallen people and one holy, amazing God, but isn't that part of the beauty and wonder of marriage? A safe place to be yourself, to learn how to love and be intimate, to become one flesh through intimacy and love, a safe place to change and grow and stretch and become?
Remove the religious bits (eg: the threesome between God an two fallen people) and again I agree completely.
Marriage is a high calling. So is being single. Sex outside of marriage may have its moments of excitement and thrill, but just as it is with all sin, it fades and it has its consequences.
Everything has consequences. However, it is up to us to try to minimize the negative consequences. Also, I don't know what high calling means
If both have waited and have entered marriage knowing what God intends for marriage, divorces wouldn't happen at extent they currently do.
I'm trying to find a study combining divorce rates for virgins, religious and non-religious people, but I just can't seem to find anything. Do you have any sources that would support this claim?
Sex inside of marriage is the safest sex that exists. Why would God create something unsafe and encourage His children to do it?
Everything is unsafe, there is no 100% safe thing to do. It's all about risk management. I understand what you mean, I just wanted to get that out.
As for safe sex, if you are married to someone who has contracted AIDS by non-sexual means, then it's a pretty risky thing to do regardless. Safety of sex does not depend upon the marital status of both people, but upon the health of both participants.
Once again, a poll would have to be done, because, honestly, the only times that an STD would enter the marriage bed is if one or both had had sex or near it with someone before marriage or had an affair while married or if they used drugs. STDs can be caught other ways, but this is extremely rare and avoided if educated.
Just some more thoughts.
I agree, we need to find a poll like that.
All in all, we agree on pretty much everything (except religious tenets of course, but that's up to the individual), what I think I disagree most with is that all people should be virgins and virgin marriages is the way to go. Back in the days (aka, most of human history), people married when they were younger than 20. Life expectancy has almost doubled, and the age for marriage has also almost doubled. Now, people have to wait more than twice as long with sexual impulses before marrying, and it becomes an increasingly difficult task. I don't know what the solution is, I'm just saying we should reconsider everything in a new light, not only according to old religious beliefs.