I have been married to my husband for 15 years and been with him since I was 17. His younger brother is 9 months younger than me and we have always had a very brother/sister type relationship. I acted like a protective big sister because he frequently has made bad choices that have left him in poor health, in jail, and so much more... now he is 35 and still living at home and at thanksgiving when we went to stay he went out and got drunk/high and started texting me. He was saying that I could "put him in that special mood" and he'd had feelings he shouldn't about me that he shouldn't for 10 years. All of which I could have gently handled. But the conversation took a turn, he expressed he has odd sexual fantasies that involved women's shoes and that I was frequently the star in this fantasies. He told me to open his closet doors (he was texting me this while away from the house). I did and two closets and a dresser were full of women's shoes that he has been intimate with. I woke my husband up and we packed up all the shoes ($1000s worth) in trash bags and snuck them out of the house and into the trash before his mother could see because we didn't want her to see and her upset. Since then we have had to avoid him at all costs including his college graduation because I am worried about being around him. Now that summer is coming around my kids each get 2 days to go spend with their grandmother at her house which is 1.5 hours from us. I do not want my children in a home with a alcoholic, drug using, felon, sexual deviant. He has made it clear he resents my husband because my husband has worked hard and has achieved a moderate level of success. 2 years ago he became violent towards my husband because his football team did not win against my husband football team and he spiraled into "everything is your fault". My mother in law doesn't know any of this. I didn't want to upset her. But I can't let my 12 year old blossoming daughter go stay where there is a sexual deviant. I am afraid I am at a crossroads of having to tell her. But, HOW do I tell her? She is a wonderful Christian woman and I love her and don't want her to be hurt and I don't want her to stop loving me. What should I do? How should I tell her?