Smothered in the Middle

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SweetShelly35

SweetShelly35

Senior Member
#1
Feb 21, 2012
289
3
18
#1
In the last month I have gotten myself into quite a fix.
My insecurities has led me to fear abondonment from a friend, and so I wanted to be the center of his world. As a result I have driven him away, which is what I feared the most. I was so afraid that I was the least important so by constantly trying to make myself the center of his universe he ran away. I do not know how to make ammends after driving this person crazy with my constant presence.
On the other hand, I have friend who is driving me mad, he calls and expects me to stay on the phone for hours, and I can not even chat in the lounge without him PMing me over and over again. I don't know how to tell this person to stop. I am feeling harassed but do not want to hurt his feelings. I am feeling rather stalked.
I now know how I made my friend feel because someone is now doing this to me. I pray about it, but I don't have the courage to speak up. If anyone has any advice it would be appreciated. Thank you.
 
M

MidniteWelder

Guest
#2
#2
I'd be glad to offer my opinion if it helps any, if not its free advice and may be discarded :)
regarding the first situation
Imagine 2 people with their palms placed against each other leaning against one another pushing each other away.
While your efforts may have been reaching out grasping his hands, He may have perceived you pushing with certain actions and responded by instinctively pushing back.
Now stand up and put ur arms out the side and dont push any longer, whats gonna happen?
He may just fall right into you

I now know how I made my friend feel because someone is now doing this to me.
:)
You may have already answered your second question, sometimes we experience these things for just that reason, so we grow and learn.
It is acceptable for you to set some boundaries for him, people do respond to polite boundaries being set, we dont always have to be harsh.
Better done while one is calm before we feel forced to out of desperation which is where the damage can be prevented. He may not realize.
God Bless
 
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