"So, I Hear You've Been To Prison..." (The Pick-Up Lines You WISH Someone WOULD Use.)
Hello everybody,
I have several thoughts running through my head (a fairly "normal" state for me, I'm afraid), so we'll see what happens.
As I've written about before, I am currently participating in two online Christian dating sites with some interesting results.
My first question is: Guys, when you approach a woman (though I do realize it can be different online vs. everyday life), do you automatically feel the need to comment about her appearance? Do you feel it's required, or just a way of breaking the ice? The reason I'm wondering is because, while I am not approached that often, the conversation almost always starts with, "Hi, you're pretty cute... want to talk?"
Now, of course I'm flattered and it's very sweet, but for once, I wish a guy would maybe observe a little about who I am and make some kind of comment about me as a person rather than about looks. But, maybe I'm being too harsh? I realize it can be nerve-wrecking to approach someone of the opposite sex as it is, so maybe compliments just seem to be the ideal way to make sure she at least listens to the first thing you have to say?
As I have also written about before, one of the most frustrating things for me is that the men who seem to be attracted to me are either WWWAAAAYYY too old (66, anyone?) or a bit too young (how about 18?!)
I have all but given up in trying to do any initiating myself (and I tend to choose an age range of about 29-43, but it's not an absolute rule) because I NEVER get a response back (or if I do... it's maybe one or two very bland sentences, indicating the person is clearly not interested) and I'm getting a little discouraged that if a guy DOES write me, it's usually with, "Can I see more pictures? I think you're cute but want to see more." (Yes, I realize this is a big red flag of shallowness but I am hoping there are some good, solid guys out there amongst the sharks.)
Do you know what I would LOVE??? I would absolutely love it if a guy wrote me and said, "Hey, I hear you've been to prison... what was it like? What were your experiences? Did you sense God's presence there?" (And if the teenage guys keep writing me, someone may try to get me in trouble and I might find myself in a jail cell for real! I can see my next thread: "Will You Contribute to SeoulSearch's Bail Fund?")
WHY would I want someone to ask me about having been in a prison???!!! Because it would have meant he actually read my profile (yes, the WHOLE thing) and took time to note and be interested in the things that interest me (prison ministries being one of them.)
In fact, one of the guys I tried to write was just a few years younger than me and the thing that TOTALLY caught my eye is that he wrote about how much he enjoys serving in a ministry that serves death row inmates. Having once written to inmates with LWOP (life without parole), I was completely bowled over, because to me, this was a one-in-a-million person and profile. I wrote him and explained a little of what I've seen and done, and asked if he would like to share any stories.
He never replied.
Maybe I'm taking the wrong approach? I try to pick out something I really like about the person (non-looks related) and mention that in my first messages... even if I do think the person is extremely physically attractive, I won't mention it until I feel we've gotten to know each other a bit, because I don't want him to feel like a piece of meat (which is how some of these other guys make me feel.) But apparently, this is getting me nowhere (and fast.)
Now please don't understand... all you guys out there who give sincere compliments--please don't stop, ok?
But I'd also love everyone's thoughts about 1. Do men feel they HAVE to approach a woman by telling her something about her looks and 2. What are the things you wish people would notice about YOU and who YOU really are instead of just looks, money, the car you drive, where you live, etc.?
And I know this goes both ways! I've had plenty of people think that I'm unattractive as well and there were times I wish they'd see past the physical then as well and into the soul that exists inside.
What about you? If people could look past the shell... what do you really wish people would notice about you or want to get to know as far as who you really are?
Hello everybody,
I have several thoughts running through my head (a fairly "normal" state for me, I'm afraid), so we'll see what happens.
As I've written about before, I am currently participating in two online Christian dating sites with some interesting results.
My first question is: Guys, when you approach a woman (though I do realize it can be different online vs. everyday life), do you automatically feel the need to comment about her appearance? Do you feel it's required, or just a way of breaking the ice? The reason I'm wondering is because, while I am not approached that often, the conversation almost always starts with, "Hi, you're pretty cute... want to talk?"
Now, of course I'm flattered and it's very sweet, but for once, I wish a guy would maybe observe a little about who I am and make some kind of comment about me as a person rather than about looks. But, maybe I'm being too harsh? I realize it can be nerve-wrecking to approach someone of the opposite sex as it is, so maybe compliments just seem to be the ideal way to make sure she at least listens to the first thing you have to say?
As I have also written about before, one of the most frustrating things for me is that the men who seem to be attracted to me are either WWWAAAAYYY too old (66, anyone?) or a bit too young (how about 18?!)
I have all but given up in trying to do any initiating myself (and I tend to choose an age range of about 29-43, but it's not an absolute rule) because I NEVER get a response back (or if I do... it's maybe one or two very bland sentences, indicating the person is clearly not interested) and I'm getting a little discouraged that if a guy DOES write me, it's usually with, "Can I see more pictures? I think you're cute but want to see more." (Yes, I realize this is a big red flag of shallowness but I am hoping there are some good, solid guys out there amongst the sharks.)
Do you know what I would LOVE??? I would absolutely love it if a guy wrote me and said, "Hey, I hear you've been to prison... what was it like? What were your experiences? Did you sense God's presence there?" (And if the teenage guys keep writing me, someone may try to get me in trouble and I might find myself in a jail cell for real! I can see my next thread: "Will You Contribute to SeoulSearch's Bail Fund?")
WHY would I want someone to ask me about having been in a prison???!!! Because it would have meant he actually read my profile (yes, the WHOLE thing) and took time to note and be interested in the things that interest me (prison ministries being one of them.)
In fact, one of the guys I tried to write was just a few years younger than me and the thing that TOTALLY caught my eye is that he wrote about how much he enjoys serving in a ministry that serves death row inmates. Having once written to inmates with LWOP (life without parole), I was completely bowled over, because to me, this was a one-in-a-million person and profile. I wrote him and explained a little of what I've seen and done, and asked if he would like to share any stories.
He never replied.
Maybe I'm taking the wrong approach? I try to pick out something I really like about the person (non-looks related) and mention that in my first messages... even if I do think the person is extremely physically attractive, I won't mention it until I feel we've gotten to know each other a bit, because I don't want him to feel like a piece of meat (which is how some of these other guys make me feel.) But apparently, this is getting me nowhere (and fast.)
Now please don't understand... all you guys out there who give sincere compliments--please don't stop, ok?
But I'd also love everyone's thoughts about 1. Do men feel they HAVE to approach a woman by telling her something about her looks and 2. What are the things you wish people would notice about YOU and who YOU really are instead of just looks, money, the car you drive, where you live, etc.?
And I know this goes both ways! I've had plenty of people think that I'm unattractive as well and there were times I wish they'd see past the physical then as well and into the soul that exists inside.
What about you? If people could look past the shell... what do you really wish people would notice about you or want to get to know as far as who you really are?