T
My boyfriend died from a brain tumor a month ago. He was an amazing Christian and he was also my best friend! My parents dont believe in long distance relationships and since he lived in Sweden they told me they felt bad but they couldnt understand my pain since we couldnt always get to see each other in person that often. That is weighing on my heart in addition to his death now.
He was my first true love and he was an amazing Christian! I got more into my faith when I met him. We prayed together, we were waiting for marriage...when I met him he became my biggest dream. I think that he was the first time Ive ever truly loved anyone including my family. He was moving here early next year and we were going to get married in two years.
When he first died I felt God around me. The two weeks after I felt so happy! I was so grateful that I got to experience true love and good love- we were both in submission to God and each other, we both encouraged each other and I have just never felt so much love in my entire life!
Now, after Christmas something broke. I am terrified of the future, I want to hurt or kill myself but I know I cant because Ill go to hell, I feel ugly (though when he was alive I felt beautiful), I feel worthless and thats a new feeling for me...
I dont know what to do...I also have past guilt from other problems like porn addiction, anger, lust, etc- things that I didnt have when my bf entered my life and showed me how to be a good follower of God.
Im just so confused. Please help me
He was my first true love and he was an amazing Christian! I got more into my faith when I met him. We prayed together, we were waiting for marriage...when I met him he became my biggest dream. I think that he was the first time Ive ever truly loved anyone including my family. He was moving here early next year and we were going to get married in two years.
When he first died I felt God around me. The two weeks after I felt so happy! I was so grateful that I got to experience true love and good love- we were both in submission to God and each other, we both encouraged each other and I have just never felt so much love in my entire life!
Now, after Christmas something broke. I am terrified of the future, I want to hurt or kill myself but I know I cant because Ill go to hell, I feel ugly (though when he was alive I felt beautiful), I feel worthless and thats a new feeling for me...
I dont know what to do...I also have past guilt from other problems like porn addiction, anger, lust, etc- things that I didnt have when my bf entered my life and showed me how to be a good follower of God.
Im just so confused. Please help me