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I've been struggling a lot with my faith lately. This whole year has been tough, and while I know that that's no reason to grow away from God and my faith, it definitely has led me to that. I've struggled with the fact that my co-worker was killed at age 16 by her boyfriend in March. Before that I struggled with my classmate collapsing on the basketball court during a game (thankfully, he lived. He's actually back in school!). I just, I've had problems being close to God. I know God exists, I've just pushed him away. To be honest, I'm really bitter towards him. I don't understand why he'd put one community through so much in such a little time (there's more than what I listed). I also, I still don't understand why he'd take my coworker away. I know he has a plan for everything, but to be completely honest, I'm not the biggest fan of his plan right now. So yeah, I've been struggling with all of that lately. I've fooled people into believing that I'm fine with my faith, but I'm really not. I'm sick of feeling like this. I feel like I'm living for no reason at all. I've started cutting myself because I just can't stand myself. I push people away, because I'm too afraid to get close to them... I think something is going to happen to them which will hurt me even more. I just... I don't even know what I'm asking in this post... I just need advice. I need to change how I live, I just don't know where to start.