There is a way out of Porn. I am living proof through Jesus Christ. I once believed it was an impossible sin that just had to be lived with. That it was a vicious cycle which continued again and again between areas of grief and empty promises I made with tears to heaven – only for withdrawal and relapse to come again. I thought continuous prayer for forgiveness was the only hope I had, and that the slave chain would be unbreakable except by death. Believe me, there are people out there who struggle with Lust in the heart and Porn in a way that is exactly no different then some struggle with drug addiction and alcoholism. I was one of those people. My fight with this has taken years... and by God's saving grace alone, I beat it. This is not just a story, and it's not just me trying to rant off at one of my "pure" moment in between sins, saying that I'll never do it again with lying tears. It can be done. Porn can be broken. God carried me through it. Praise Him for that, Powerful and Mighty! I'm completely clean now. Been that way for about a year to this point (which is amazing, considering the addiction I went through)!
I won't take up your time with a personal story of how the victory happened unless you post a request for it in the replies, because a story's not what you need! I heard enough stories when I searched for the cure! I needed results. What you need are the facts. Here is the cold, hard, bare-bone answer to the terrible question that so many decent Christian men (and even women) are asking. "How do I conquer Porn and Lust in the Heart?"
There are FOUR FACTS that God revealed to me as to how...
Square with them, and you'll be able to win the victory.
1.) YOU don't conquer porn/lust in yourself. GOD conquers porn/lust in you. Submission and Surrender to God are Key:
You know full well that we don't cleanse our sins by our own works, so why should we believe that we can conquer them by our efforts alone or otherwise. Every time you confront a sin (in the very moment of it's appearance) without prayer, God's Word, and surrender to His will; you are saying that you can conquer your sin by your own ability. This is impossible. It is false confidence. Your efforts and force of will are a necessary input in only one respect: that they may move to work the will of God when submitted completely to Him! But first your impulses must submit to God. They are by no means the saving power or strength in this battle.
The only way you will truly get victory from God in this is if you submit to Him. And the only way you can submit to God is to lose trust in yourself and put that trust in your creator instead. Think of it as turning over the wheel and car to Jesus. He’s been telling you all along that He can drive your life, but you keep telling him over and over again with porn that you’ve got this. Apparently, the reason that you’re reading this is because… well… you really don’t and never can. Get down and pray to him right now and give it over. Really “go passive” and let Him carry you like a current.
You’ll be surprised at how much this can actually help, not just with porn, but with anything in life.
2.) The God Based and World Based views of Sex are Polar Opposites:
Since you cannot win this fight without your impulses submitted to your creator, you must educate yourself in the healthy use, understanding, and control of them. For starters, Sexuality (or even Sensuality), by itself, is not a sin. God created it for man with the dual intent that we would reproduce, and enjoy it for the purposes of strengthening of our marriages. In essence The Complete Biblical doctrine concerning Sex, in a nutshell, is this: "Until you are married to someone, you may not have sex with them. Once married to them, you can "have at it" all you want, provided it is only with that one spouse (no polygamy). No sex is Biblically permitted with the same gender (no homosexuality), with relatives (incest), or with those too young (pedophilia). Keep your heart pure from lust of the flesh, except for your "lust" towards your spouse. Also, a lack of sex between spouses is abnormal and Peter writes about it being dysfunctional/detrimental. You are to have sex with your wife/husband only." The world likes to tell us that this take on sex is boring and unadventurous – that it is a repressive, old-world conservative way that is no fun. But doing it the world’s way is what keeps AID's in the earth, and breaks apart families with dysfunction. It also displeases God.
On the other hand, Sex within marriage (even just for fun and recreation – lots of it, if you want) is absolutely encouraged by God’s word. It actually brings blessing to the marriage and keeps a healthy romance going.
3.) Look at Women/Men the Right Way – As human beings created in God’s image:
When I was addicted to porn, I viewed the women on the screen and in the magazines as my toss-around-toys. Because of this, my value for women depreciated, and I began to lose sight of the beauty of the image of God our creator in each of them. Eventually, I began to notice something. This led to me devaluing their human worth in general. Every girl I lusted after with my eyes, wherever I looked on them, began to look like meat for my fodder and fantasy. One horrifying day, I realized that I was beginning to devalue their life as human beings in general over a single moment of selfish obsession – with no consideration and love for them at all. This is not of God. And anyone who does this should realize what kind of grave sin they are committing. Become ashamed, and realize that your fits of lust are essentially telling God, “Those you made in your image are masturbation-meat for a careless moment of selfishness.” Getting disgusted with yourself over this realization can really help you turn away from it.
4.) Understand how contributing to the Porn industry impacts/hurts others:
Have you ever thought of what goes on inside the porn industry? Sex trafficking, drugs, abuse, diseases, abortions, and human damnation… all paid for by the money you spent on that magazine, or supported by the views that you gave their website video. In other words, by partaking in viewing porn, you are essentially lending your willing hand in support of all these immoral practices. Some really horrible things happen to the poor lost souls in that industry, and I encourage you to research the Christian testimonies of ex-porn stars and see what kind of hell they when through – all for your cheap thrills. If you contribute to something, you are a part of it! Feeling repentant yet?!! Whenever you contributed to the porn industry by supporting them with your money or viewings at their sites, you just gave your support – to Satan. Um, don’t do that anymore!
Lastly…
I assure you again that this can be done. God did it in me. There is no shame in having natural sexual interest and attraction/desire. But where does the line between healthy desire and lust fall? It falls at the point where you devalue the other person selfishly and/or give support to darkness. It falls at the point where healthy, God-given natural interest becomes selfishness and covet. If you are married, sleep with your spouse. Do it all you want with each other, no holds barred. It’s not wrong in marriage. If you’re not doing it with each other, chances are you’re either doing it with someone else or in danger of being just about to. Porn is a place where lonely people turn. I know because I’m single and VERY VERY VERY lonely. On a side note, please pray that God sends someone for me. But loneliness is no excuse for porn. It only leaves you more empty. If you’re single like me, my advice to you is this: stay active. Find something to DO with your time. “Idle hands breed the devil’s work” is a very true statement. Keep active and try to use your time while you are single for God. It is most likely that the reason you have not found someone yet is because your character is being molded and prepared for God’s purposes so that the time is right for the relationship to begin. This is healthier for us, because we will then be ready for the relationship. I hope this advice helps, and God Bless You and All…
In His Love,
Elijah19