Struggling with the old testament

  • Christian Chat is a moderated online Christian community allowing Christians around the world to fellowship with each other in real time chat via webcam, voice, and text, with the Christian Chat app. You can also start or participate in a Bible-based discussion here in the Christian Chat Forums, where members can also share with each other their own videos, pictures, or favorite Christian music.

    If you are a Christian and need encouragement and fellowship, we're here for you! If you are not a Christian but interested in knowing more about Jesus our Lord, you're also welcome! Want to know what the Bible says, and how you can apply it to your life? Join us!

    To make new Christian friends now around the world, click here to join Christian Chat.

Cold

Active member
Apr 18, 2024
180
89
28
#21
If your handwriting is the pits, try keeping a word document or use Notepad or something
like that. That is, if you are using a device like a laptop or or tablet, and not on a phone.
Many laptops come with Notepad. I keep track of all my panel urls that way.
That's doable. I'm on my computer all day since I don't work. I already have a few notes for various passwords and such. So it can't hurt to make another.
 

Magenta

Senior Member
Jul 3, 2015
56,326
26,353
113
#22
I was listening to a 24/7 bible broadcast while laying down to sleep but I stopped that a few days ago. I got some slightly disturbing dreams with that playing. One of the times I woke up from a dream I noticed it was on some part of the bible talking about Jesus and demons and the audio was glitching making the voice sound distorted. So yeah, cut that out lol. Not a fan of demonic dreams. I had plenty of those growing up. One of the recent dreams was quite messed up with myself being possessed in the dream and saying all kind of messed up things, then wake up choking and saying the same things. I assume that video might have some funky things hidden in the audio at random parts, or I was just unlucky with some demonic activity.

I wouldn't mind a bible study group, that could be something interesting perhaps. I'll have to check if the current church I'm going to has anything similar going on with it. I've always been anti-social and bad at carrying on with, or just starting conversations. I've also preferred to be alone most of my time. I have noticed lately that I am starting to enjoy being around people now, but I'm still not quite drawn to the idea of being around many people for a prolonged period of time. I always found it mentally draining to be stuck in conversation with people when I have nothing to contribute to their conversations lol.
The nice thing about an ongoing group is they met for a specific purpose at a specific time and
everyone wants to go home afterwards LOL. I do prefer smaller groups and an hour and a half is
a good amount of time. We read from multiple versions also and compared what each said and
discussed differences. It was really lovely! Also listening to someone read the Bible, I would find
a reputable source. Some are dramatized a bit and that can add to the experience also. Some
sites like Biblegateway or Biblehub give you multiple translations to choose from...
 

Cold

Active member
Apr 18, 2024
180
89
28
#23
The nice thing about an ongoing group is they met for a specific purpose at a specific time and
everyone wants to go home afterwards LOL. I do prefer smaller groups and an hour and a half is
a good amount of time. We read from multiple versions also and compared what each said and
discussed differences. It was really lovely! Also listening to someone read the Bible, I would find
a reputable source. Some are dramatized a bit and that can add to the experience also. Some
sites like Biblegateway or Biblehub give you multiple translations to choose from...
Oh man, an hour and a half sounds a bit difficult for me lol. My church sermon is roughly 45 minutes and I find that already difficult to focus on. I also didn't even think of having to read out loud o_O. I basically sound like I have a stutter when I try to read anything out loud or just try to speak a normal sentence. I resonated with Moses when he was asking God how he could convince the Israelites to follow him when he can barely speak properly lol. It seems I have a lot of praying to do for some more changes in my life if I want to get involved with new things.
 

Magenta

Senior Member
Jul 3, 2015
56,326
26,353
113
#24
Oh man, an hour and a half sounds a bit difficult for me lol. My church sermon is roughly 45 minutes and I find that already difficult to focus on. I also didn't even think of having to read out loud o_O. I basically sound like I have a stutter when I try to read anything out loud or just try to speak a normal sentence. I resonated with Moses when he was asking God how he could convince the Israelites to follow him when he can barely speak properly lol. It seems I have a lot of praying to do for some more changes in my life if I want to get involved with new things.
People in person are often much nicer than they are online. Meaning, they will love you
in spite of your social awkwardness and difficulties and maybe even because of them!


:D

The Bible also has a verse about remaining silent. Even a fool is thought wise
if he keeps silent, and discerning if he holds his tongue.
Haha. If you have
nothing to say, best not to say anything, but you may surprise yourself!
You can be the strong silent deep and mysterious type
;):giggle:
 

Cold

Active member
Apr 18, 2024
180
89
28
#25
People in person are often much nicer than they are online. Meaning, they will love you
in spite of your social awkwardness and difficulties and maybe even because of them!


:D

The Bible also has a verse about remaining silent. Even a fool is thought wise
if he keeps silent, and discerning if he holds his tongue. Haha. If you have
nothing to say, best not to say anything, but you may surprise yourself!
Lol perhaps I can wear some fake glasses and just constantly nod seriously while people speak. Looking like I'm in deep thought while keeping silent. Then everyone will assume I'm some sort of quiet genius. :cool:
 

Gideon300

Well-known member
Mar 18, 2021
4,953
2,878
113
#26
So, I'm not really sure what I'm expecting from posting this. I recently finished reading the new testament. I decided to keep reading the bible daily and started with the old testament, but I find it so difficult to keep my desire for reading. Numbers was especially hard to force myself to read because everything felt to repetitive that I caught myself skipping more and more then backtracking to give it a proper reading. I'm on Joshua now. But my desire for reading has already been diminished. I am going to keep reading, I refuse to go a day without it now. But I'm unsure if I can bring myself to read the old testament again once I finish the whole bible.

I'm wondering if this is just something everyone goes through when they really start desiring God's word. When everyone feels that pull to read His word daily, does the desire for the old testament grow more and more as time goes on? Or am I just a horrible person that hasn't fully let God take charge of my life yet? Id this also just a pointless worry/thought that will over time fix itself? I definitely realize there are areas in my life that I'm not fully letting God take charge of. I'm so used to trying to make changes and failing, that I fall back into the trap of trying to do things myself without involving God. Then after the fact, I realize my mistake and pray. But unfortunately while expecting and trying to make changes in my mindset or the way I speak, I keep trying to force it without involving God. Tbh, I'm still kind of struggling on making God my entire focus throughout the day. Just starting a conversation causes me to completely lose track of God and I start talking like I used to and my speech is far from clean lol.

Anybody have some advice or just some words to help clarify things? I'm not sure if anything I wrote made sense to anybody, I just feel like I'm going about things wrong but I don't know how to change my approach.
I have been saved over 50 years. The OT is God's word. Much of it is no longer applicable to the New Covenant. However, A lot of lessons can be learned from it. One example is the difference between Saul and David. Read the account of their lives in the Spirit and you will see why Saul was a failure and David a great success.

The Bible is a Spiritual book that can only be truly understood spiritually. If you employ intellect only, it is hard work and of little value. If you ask the Holy Spirit to help you understand, it is wonderfully edifying. That includes the OT.
 
Mar 9, 2023
86
49
18
Perth, Western Australia
#27
So, I'm not really sure what I'm expecting from posting this. I recently finished reading the new testament. I decided to keep reading the bible daily and started with the old testament, but I find it so difficult to keep my desire for reading. Numbers was especially hard to force myself to read because everything felt to repetitive that I caught myself skipping more and more then backtracking to give it a proper reading. I'm on Joshua now. But my desire for reading has already been diminished. I am going to keep reading, I refuse to go a day without it now. But I'm unsure if I can bring myself to read the old testament again once I finish the whole bible.

I'm wondering if this is just something everyone goes through when they really start desiring God's word. When everyone feels that pull to read His word daily, does the desire for the old testament grow more and more as time goes on? Or am I just a horrible person that hasn't fully let God take charge of my life yet? Id this also just a pointless worry/thought that will over time fix itself? I definitely realize there are areas in my life that I'm not fully letting God take charge of. I'm so used to trying to make changes and failing, that I fall back into the trap of trying to do things myself without involving God. Then after the fact, I realize my mistake and pray. But unfortunately while expecting and trying to make changes in my mindset or the way I speak, I keep trying to force it without involving God. Tbh, I'm still kind of struggling on making God my entire focus throughout the day. Just starting a conversation causes me to completely lose track of God and I start talking like I used to and my speech is far from clean lol.

Anybody have some advice or just some words to help clarify things? I'm not sure if anything I wrote made sense to anybody, I just feel like I'm going about things wrong but I don't know how to change my approach.
The first few books can be very daunting and repetitive but still important, It gets more interesting and easier reading a bit further on. God put it all there for a reason. You can not properly understand the New Testament without reading the Old and you can not properly understand the Old without reading the New. - Persevere and God bless you.
 

rrcn

Active member
Oct 15, 2023
252
77
28
#28
Reading the Bible from cover to cover is always going to be rewarding but you might try combining part of your study time with other forms of Bible study. I have a good concordance (Cruden’s or Strongs and a book called Treasury of Scripture Knowledge they are of great value for deeper Bible study, I might mention that the online Bible I use can be accessed online at blueletterbible.org, it is very helpful for all types of Bible studies. They provide several different reading plans, the two references I mentioned above, an audio Bible, devotionals etd.

One of my major lines of study is to find Jesus in Bible prophecy. Here is a prophecy from Numbers that is recognized by a hostile ruler in the New Testament:



[um 24:17 KJV 17 I shall see him, but not now: I shall behold him, but not nigh: there shall come a Star out of Jacob, and a Sceptre shall rise out of Israel, and shall smite the corners of Moab, and destroy all the children of Sheth.

Mat 2:2, 7, 9-10 KJV 2 Saying, Where is he that is born King of the Jews? for we have seen his star in the east, and are come to worship him. ... 7 Then Herod, when he had privily called the wise men, enquired of them diligently what time the star appeared. ... 9 When they had heard the king, they departed; and, lo, the star, which they saw in the east, went before them, till it came and stood over where the young child was. 10 When they saw the star, they rejoiced with exceeding great joy.



The interaction between Balaam and his ass in Numbers 22 borders on humorous and is used for by New Testament writers as an example in 2 Peter 2: 15, 16, Jude 11 and Revelation 2:14.



There is another place in Numbers which is referred to by Jesus himself:

Jhn 3:14 KJV]14 And as Moses lifted up the serpent in the wilderness, even so must the Son of man be lifted up:

[Num 21:8-9 KJV] 8 And the LORD said unto Moses, Make thee a fiery serpent, and set it upon a pole: and it shall come to pass, that every one that is bitten, when he looketh upon it, shall live. 9 And Moses made a serpent of brass, and put it upon a pole, and it came to pass, that if a serpent had bitten any man, when he beheld the serpent of brass, he lived.



I have to reference Exodus here to give the full picture:

Exo 14:19-20 KJV 19 And the angel of God, which went before the camp of Israel, removed and went behind them; and the pillar of the cloud went from before their face, and stood behind them: 20 And it came between the camp of the Egyptians and the camp of Israel; and it was a cloud and darkness [to them], but it gave light by night [to these]: so that the one came not near the other all the night.

[Num 9:18 KJV] 18 At the commandment of the LORD the children of Israel journeyed, and at the commandment of the LORD they pitched: as long as the cloud abode upon the tabernacle they rested in their tents.

[Co 10:1-4 KJV 1 Moreover, brethren, I would not that ye should be ignorant, how that all our fathers were under the cloud, and all passed through the sea; 2 And were all baptized unto Moses in the cloud and in the sea; 3 And did all eat the same spiritual meat; 4 And did all drink the same spiritual drink: for they drank of that spiritual Rock that followed them: and that Rock was Christ.
 

Magenta

Senior Member
Jul 3, 2015
56,326
26,353
113
#29
You can not properly understand the New Testament without reading the Old and you can not properly understand the Old without reading the New. - Persevere and God bless you.
"The old is the new concealed, and the new is the old revealed."

:D
 

GRACE_ambassador

Well-known member
Feb 22, 2021
2,991
1,418
113
Midwest
#30
...I recently finished reading the new testament. I decided to keep reading the bible daily and started with the old testament, but I find it so difficult to keep my desire for reading...
One thing is for sure - after you have 'persevered' and read The Holy Bible
through once and "every word" is in your mind and spirit, then you will be
able to apply this in your life, eh?:

"But He answered and said, It is written, Man shall not live by bread​
alone, but by every word that proceedeth out of The Mouth of God."​
(Matthew 4:4 AV)​

May our Blessed Saviour Richly Encourage and Edify you in your
Persistent efforts for Him, To The Honor and Glory Of His Name.

Amen.
 

Pilgrimshope

Well-known member
Sep 2, 2020
12,911
5,180
113
#31
"The old is the new concealed, and the new is the old revealed."

:D
don’t you find also that there is a removal of a certain vail when we look at the new testsment ? What I mean is it’s hard to see the nt while looking through the mindset of the old but if we’re looking back from the gospel at the Old Testament everything falls into place regarding understanding ?

“Seeing then that we have such hope, we use great plainness of speech: and not as Moses, which put a vail over his face, that the children of Israel could not stedfastly look to the end of that which is abolished: but their minds were blinded: for until this day remaineth the same vail untaken away in the reading of the old testament; which vail is done away in Christ. But even unto this day, when Moses is read, the vail is upon their heart. Nevertheless when it shall turn to the Lord, the vail shall be taken away.”
‭‭2 Corinthians‬ ‭3:12-16‬ ‭KJV‬‬

The ot creates a mindset like this

“Now therefore why should we die? for this great fire will consume us: if we hear the voice of the LORD our God any more, then we shall die.”
‭‭Deuteronomy‬ ‭5:25‬ ‭KJV‬‬

because of Adams transgression of whom we came from we can’t be saved thinking that if we hear Gods voice we’ll surely die . but the New Testament based on Jesus words on his righteousness and obedience which we are now created from creates this mindset because of remission of sins rather than impitetion of every sin in the ot

“Verily, verily, I say unto you, He that heareth my word, and believeth on him that sent me, hath everlasting life, and shall not come into condemnation; but is passed from death unto life.”
‭‭John‬ ‭5:24‬

the opposite of “ if we hear the lords word anymore we’ll surely die ….if we hear the lords word we’ll surely live forever with him in glory !!!!

i think the nt gives us sight of God but the ot veils his truth
 

JohnDB

Well-known member
Jan 16, 2021
5,708
2,234
113
#32
So, I'm not really sure what I'm expecting from posting this. I recently finished reading the new testament. I decided to keep reading the bible daily and started with the old testament, but I find it so difficult to keep my desire for reading. Numbers was especially hard to force myself to read because everything felt to repetitive that I caught myself skipping more and more then backtracking to give it a proper reading. I'm on Joshua now. But my desire for reading has already been diminished. I am going to keep reading, I refuse to go a day without it now. But I'm unsure if I can bring myself to read the old testament again once I finish the whole bible.

I'm wondering if this is just something everyone goes through when they really start desiring God's word. When everyone feels that pull to read His word daily, does the desire for the old testament grow more and more as time goes on? Or am I just a horrible person that hasn't fully let God take charge of my life yet? Id this also just a pointless worry/thought that will over time fix itself? I definitely realize there are areas in my life that I'm not fully letting God take charge of. I'm so used to trying to make changes and failing, that I fall back into the trap of trying to do things myself without involving God. Then after the fact, I realize my mistake and pray. But unfortunately while expecting and trying to make changes in my mindset or the way I speak, I keep trying to force it without involving God. Tbh, I'm still kind of struggling on making God my entire focus throughout the day. Just starting a conversation causes me to completely lose track of God and I start talking like I used to and my speech is far from clean lol.

Anybody have some advice or just some words to help clarify things? I'm not sure if anything I wrote made sense to anybody, I just feel like I'm going about things wrong but I don't know how to change my approach.
Yeah....
The "begats" give everyone a difficult time to wade through. Mostly because we don't get translated names....so it's monotonous. If you knew what the names meant it's a completely different story.

Wait until you get to Kings and Chronicles....then "so and so did evil in the sight of God and he died....

However....
The first five books are foundational for the rest of the Bible. (AKA the Torah)

The other 61 books all allude to sections in the five books of Moses.

Knowing what is said in them really helps when later you are studying and something rings a bell of referencing the stuff you have previously read.

First comes judgement then comes blessing....meaning the dry reading will eventually pay off. Just stick with it....and be patient.
 

BillyBob

Active member
Dec 20, 2023
220
74
28
Texas
#33
I hear what you are saying! I have also struggled with the Old Testament. Books like Numbers and Leviticus make my mind wonder because they often seem to be saying the same thing over and over. I also have trouble with books like Daniel and Revelation because of the various visions.
You might also consider getting a copy of Matthew Henry Commentary on the Whole Bible.
I only mention his work since it is a complete commentary. A copy can probably be found at a used book store. I think his works are also in the public domain, which means you might find it online. This book has helped me as I struggle at times with both the old and new testament.
If your problem is with reading itself, I would recommend listening to sermons on the internet!

Good luck!
 

JohnDB

Well-known member
Jan 16, 2021
5,708
2,234
113
#34
I hear what you are saying! I have also struggled with the Old Testament. Books like Numbers and Leviticus make my mind wonder because they often seem to be saying the same thing over and over. I also have trouble with books like Daniel and Revelation because of the various visions.
You might also consider getting a copy of Matthew Henry Commentary on the Whole Bible.
I only mention his work since it is a complete commentary. A copy can probably be found at a used book store. I think his works are also in the public domain, which means you might find it online. This book has helped me as I struggle at times with both the old and new testament.
If your problem is with reading itself, I would recommend listening to sermons on the internet!

Good luck!
Matthew Henry was a Calvinist....which puts that filter on scriptures. Which is not everyone's cup of tea.

Oh I've heard complete sermons that were almost verbatim of Matthew Henry's commentary....just saying. It's not horrible...just have to get around the calvinism.
 

Adstar

Senior Member
Jul 24, 2016
7,461
3,509
113
#35
Apart from the good advice to try and Audio Bible.. I would say if your having trouble always pray before you start to read and set no time limit to read the Old testament.. read for 10 minutes or only read one chapter at a time if your finding it difficult to concentrate.. Read with faith that in time you will be blessed because you read the Bible..
 

Burn1986

Active member
Mar 4, 2024
302
48
28
#36
So, I'm not really sure what I'm expecting from posting this. I recently finished reading the new testament. I decided to keep reading the bible daily and started with the old testament, but I find it so difficult to keep my desire for reading. Numbers was especially hard to force myself to read because everything felt to repetitive that I caught myself skipping more and more then backtracking to give it a proper reading. I'm on Joshua now. But my desire for reading has already been diminished. I am going to keep reading, I refuse to go a day without it now. But I'm unsure if I can bring myself to read the old testament again once I finish the whole bible.

I'm wondering if this is just something everyone goes through when they really start desiring God's word. When everyone feels that pull to read His word daily, does the desire for the old testament grow more and more as time goes on? Or am I just a horrible person that hasn't fully let God take charge of my life yet? Id this also just a pointless worry/thought that will over time fix itself? I definitely realize there are areas in my life that I'm not fully letting God take charge of. I'm so used to trying to make changes and failing, that I fall back into the trap of trying to do things myself without involving God. Then after the fact, I realize my mistake and pray. But unfortunately while expecting and trying to make changes in my mindset or the way I speak, I keep trying to force it without involving God. Tbh, I'm still kind of struggling on making God my entire focus throughout the day. Just starting a conversation causes me to completely lose track of God and I start talking like I used to and my speech is far from clean lol.

Anybody have some advice or just some words to help clarify things? I'm not sure if anything I wrote made sense to anybody, I just feel like I'm going about things wrong but I don't know how to change my approach.
It’ll get better. Some of that stuff is just dry - Numbers, law stuff, genealogies, etc. But God will start giving you insight in the OT as well.
 

FollowerofShiloh

Well-known member
Jan 24, 2024
2,979
503
113
#37
As someone in love with the Torah and Tanakh I will say this much.

Begin with the Major and Minor Prophets (Isaiah to Malachi) (they are prophesying about Jesus when He comes as the Messiah)
Then the Psalms and Proverbs and Ecclesiastes, Song of Solomon (Inspirational Passages and Instructional)
Then Joshua until Job (History) (Job is a message for us all)
Then the Torah (Genesis to Deuteronomy) (Creation, Abraham, Isaac, Jacob, Moses and the Law)
 

homwardbound

Senior Member
Oct 24, 2012
15,169
140
63
#38
So, I'm not really sure what I'm expecting from posting this. I recently finished reading the new testament. I decided to keep reading the bible daily and started with the old testament, but I find it so difficult to keep my desire for reading. Numbers was especially hard to force myself to read because everything felt to repetitive that I caught myself skipping more and more then backtracking to give it a proper reading. I'm on Joshua now. But my desire for reading has already been diminished. I am going to keep reading, I refuse to go a day without it now. But I'm unsure if I can bring myself to read the old testament again once I finish the whole bible.

I'm wondering if this is just something everyone goes through when they really start desiring God's word. When everyone feels that pull to read His word daily, does the desire for the old testament grow more and more as time goes on? Or am I just a horrible person that hasn't fully let God take charge of my life yet? Id this also just a pointless worry/thought that will over time fix itself? I definitely realize there are areas in my life that I'm not fully letting God take charge of. I'm so used to trying to make changes and failing, that I fall back into the trap of trying to do things myself without involving God. Then after the fact, I realize my mistake and pray. But unfortunately while expecting and trying to make changes in my mindset or the way I speak, I keep trying to force it without involving God. Tbh, I'm still kind of struggling on making God my entire focus throughout the day. Just starting a conversation causes me to completely lose track of God and I start talking like I used to and my speech is far from clean lol.

Anybody have some advice or just some words to help clarify things? I'm not sure if anything I wrote made sense to anybody, I just feel like I'm going about things wrong but I don't know how to change my approach.
You are not alone in this earth mess here on earth, we all that are here are in.

1 Corinthians 10:13
There hath no temptation taken you but such as is common to man: but God is faithful, who will not suffer you to be tempted above that ye are able; but will with the temptation also make a way to escape, that ye may be able to bear it.

therefore continue to believe god will show you through this trouble you are in.

see:
Even though you too are in the world, you are in. a fight too

Psalm 23
A Psalm of David.
1 The Lord is my shepherd; I shall not want.
2 He maketh me to lie down in green pastures:
he leadeth me beside the still waters.
3 He restoreth my soul:
he leadeth me in the paths of righteousness for his name’s sake.
4 Yea, though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death,
I will fear no evil: for thou art with me;
thy rod and thy staff they comfort me.

IK am telling you this for your safety to get through this trouble you ar sin, deciding and wanting to be new in. God for you. Continue


Colossians 1:21-23

Authorized (King James) Version

21 And you, that were sometime alienated and enemies in your mind by wicked works, yet now hath he reconciled 22 in the body of his flesh through death, to present you holy and unblameable and unreproveable in his sight: 23 if ye continue in the faith grounded and settled, and be not moved away from the hope of the gospel, which ye have heard, and which was preached to every creature which is under heaven; whereof I Paul am made a minister;

You will leave things not good for you behind you, God works on one thing at a time for you to see and be new in it. Not all at one time. All at one time, seeing all problems at one time is confusion that evil loves to do to us the kids in belief to God to see this truth and remain humble in it once do it right by God showing us all by Faith alone, giving God all the credit, none to the self
Phil 3:1-4 tells me this and trust Phil 1:6 trust that God will somehow, somneway do it through you too
 

loveme1

Senior Member
Oct 30, 2011
8,086
190
63
#39
I could never articulate how grateful I am that the Almighty had me read the Bible from the beginning to the end… I think it is very important and worth while….more than anything else a person can do in this life!

I do wonder if something unseen comes upon a person that reads the Bible page upon page.. precept upon… Believe to see..The Truth sets us free..
 
Dec 17, 2022
36
7
8
#40
So, I'm not really sure what I'm expecting from posting this. I recently finished reading the new testament. I decided to keep reading the bible daily and started with the old testament, but I find it so difficult to keep my desire for reading. Numbers was especially hard to force myself to read because everything felt to repetitive that I caught myself skipping more and more then backtracking to give it a proper reading. I'm on Joshua now. But my desire for reading has already been diminished. I am going to keep reading, I refuse to go a day without it now. But I'm unsure if I can bring myself to read the old testament again once I finish the whole bible.

I'm wondering if this is just something everyone goes through when they really start desiring God's word. When everyone feels that pull to read His word daily, does the desire for the old testament grow more and more as time goes on? Or am I just a horrible person that hasn't fully let God take charge of my life yet? Id this also just a pointless worry/thought that will over time fix itself? I definitely realize there are areas in my life that I'm not fully letting God take charge of. I'm so used to trying to make changes and failing, that I fall back into the trap of trying to do things myself without involving God. Then after the fact, I realize my mistake and pray. But unfortunately while expecting and trying to make changes in my mindset or the way I speak, I keep trying to force it without involving God. Tbh, I'm still kind of struggling on making God my entire focus throughout the day. Just starting a conversation causes me to completely lose track of God and I start talking like I used to and my speech is far from clean lol.

Anybody have some advice or just some words to help clarify things? I'm not sure if anything I wrote made sense to anybody, I just feel like I'm going about things wrong but I don't know how to change my approach.