J
Jesus, you are bigger than this. You know the beginning, the end, the truth of the present. You have every detail worked into your glorious plan. For your own reasons, you placed me in the family I was born into even when I wasn't wanted. You hid me when dad used me as his toy. You stood by me even when mom degraded every part of me. You ARE good even when I can't see goodness. I do not have your eyes.
A little over ten days after I asked my mom not to speak to me, and told her I would call her when her counselor called me, she has failed to respect my boundary. This doesn't surprise me, but the level of her overt cruelty does. In the past ten days I have been called mean, evil, a failure, and hard-hearted. I have had the Lord's will interpretted for me, her abuse excused because that's just who she is, threatened, blamed, told I cannot have friends, accused, had scripture decontextualized and thrown into my face, called a sadist,and told she can't believe she gave birth to me. I don't understand how any mother could say this to her child. It's sickening to me. In a few days I will finish writing her a letter. I will not speak to her anymore. I will completely cut her off since even when I've asked her to stop contacting me she uses fb and texting only to lash out at me without no provocation. She believes this is my bitterness, but it's not. This is me being an adult, taking care of myself, and not allowing anyone to abuse me.
A little over ten days after I asked my mom not to speak to me, and told her I would call her when her counselor called me, she has failed to respect my boundary. This doesn't surprise me, but the level of her overt cruelty does. In the past ten days I have been called mean, evil, a failure, and hard-hearted. I have had the Lord's will interpretted for me, her abuse excused because that's just who she is, threatened, blamed, told I cannot have friends, accused, had scripture decontextualized and thrown into my face, called a sadist,and told she can't believe she gave birth to me. I don't understand how any mother could say this to her child. It's sickening to me. In a few days I will finish writing her a letter. I will not speak to her anymore. I will completely cut her off since even when I've asked her to stop contacting me she uses fb and texting only to lash out at me without no provocation. She believes this is my bitterness, but it's not. This is me being an adult, taking care of myself, and not allowing anyone to abuse me.