SO, Its pretty much in the title but I still love her and miss her while not wanting either my self or my son to have anything to do with her. I barely win the days through grateful and supplicant prayer to the LORD and I'm not sure what to do with her. To be honest I would rather that I didn't have a child with her but wishing is no good. I feel like I and my son are attached to a virulent corpse until he turns 18.