Unfaithful - need advice

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Karagrl2013

Guest
#1
#1
I am most in search to this answer because I was unfaithful in my marriage and can't come to tell my husband. At this time I was not following Christ and have surrendered the past to God. I still live with so much regret, pain, and fear of losing everything but still wanting to follow God and please him and not go to the pits of hell. I know jesus forgives me because I have cried out for forgiveness but in order to be freed from this sin do I tell my husband or forgive myself ?
 
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Karagrl2013

Guest
#2
#2
I need to add more .... We have only been married a little over a year but have been Together for 5 years. As soon as we got married the honeymoon phase was over. We began to fight and condem and tear down each other with every word and action we made. After 6 months of this an ex whom I had the only long term relationship(1st love) came back in the picture by my doing because before I got married to my husband he sent me this message explaining how he wished we were still together and planted a seed. Since we were fighting so much and didn't even think we would make it through our first year of marriage I kept having dreams with my ex in them and decided to reach out to him to see how he was "doing". Long story short we met up two times thinking he would sweep me off my feet and he would be this perfect guy I always fantasized and wanted him to be. This did not work nor did it help my marriage that was alreAdy so shaken. I told my ex after I woke up and leaned on God we need to cut all communication off and we would not tell a sole, he has a girlfriend. So my husband knows this ex and has always felt intimidated by him in our relationship because of the history so once I tell him Im affaird he will run fast and so far and have the divorce waiting. My husband is not devoted to God but whom am I to talk or be a representation of jesus over this past year. However , I feel deep down that I have truly changed and want to give my heart and and soul to Lord. This is why I feel the way I do....I want my marriage to work and truly see how the devil was trying to destroy everything God had blessed me with but now my choices may have already caused to much damage to be restored. I love that song by Chris August restored when I think about my husband and I .... All I can do is think of this. I want to grow old with him and have our children:(I really am looking for encouragement and Godly wisdom and advice.
 
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kenisyes

Guest
#3
#3
It does not sound like either of you were ready for marriage. Are you ready now? That's what needs to be discussed, on both ends. Telling the truth should be part of that, but with that understanding.
 
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Karagrl2013

Guest
#4
#4
You are exactly right... Neither one of us were ready for marriage. We both have been so selfish and hurtful to one another from day one. But I am willing to get the help and add jesus into the equation to truly understand what a marriage and commitment means.
 
ChosenbyHim

ChosenbyHim

Senior Member
#5
Sep 19, 2011
3,343
114
63
#5
Karagrl2013 said:
I am most in search to this answer because I was unfaithful in my marriage and can't come to tell my husband. At this time I was not following Christ and have surrendered the past to God. I still live with so much regret, pain, and fear of losing everything but still wanting to follow God and please him and not go to the pits of hell. I know jesus forgives me because I have cried out for forgiveness but in order to be freed from this sin do I tell my husband or forgive myself ?
Click to expand...
Kara, if this thing that you did in the past is continuing to eat at you and haunt you, then I would say and recommend for you to just open up to your husband and be honest.

But before you do that, make sure you have confessed your sin to God the Father and that you repented of it. Make sure you get it confessed and under the blood.

But before you do that Kara, first make sure that you are truly saved and born again. If you are not sure whether or not you would go to Heaven if you were to die, then you may not be saved. So examine yourself and see whether or not you are in the faith.

Also Kara, it sounds to me that your husband may not be saved. You and him definitely need to have a serious talk about salvation. Because if your husband is not saved, what you need to understand is that he is a child of wrath. And if he is just playing with God, and has not gotten saved yet, then the wrath of God still abides on him.

So definitely have a talk with him about salvation. I know of a couple who before they got saved, they were not living for the Lord, but thy were just doing their own thing, but once the husband got saved, so did the wife.

And yea Kenisyes said it well, tell him the truth with understanding. It definitely needs to be discussed between you and your husband. And it is always best to start your marriage and relationship a new with open honesty and transparency. I hope this helped Kara. Take care okay?

And please make sure that you and your husnad are truly saved. That you both truly came to a state of repentance in your hearts and that you received the Lord Jesus Christ as your personal Lord and Saviour.
 
IDEAtor

IDEAtor

Senior Member
#6
Aug 15, 2012
827
19
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#6
I am no doctor or psychic, but I sense a spirit of brokenness.
Praise God that you are sorry and want to continue moving forward.
You are forgiven, never think you are not. Still, be careful of living like you deserve the forgiveness; you don't, I don't, your husband doesn't, and all else-- don't. This is what grace is about.
With that said, I am not claiming that I know what God thinks, but I know I forgive you.

I pray that God prepares your heart and your husband for the appropriate time and way to confess to one another.
Remember that you are not still practicing that sin, so it is no longer an issue of ongoing sin. Keep it that way and avoid a divorce.
 
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tenderhearted

Guest
#7
#7
In order to be free from this guilt, you have to tell your husband. If you don't the enemy will torment you. You are right God has forgiven you and you must forgive yourself. However, God doesn't like deceitfulness and by not telling your husband you are being deceitful. If you want God to bless your marriage then you must start off by being truthful. Lies drive a wedge between two people in a marriage. If you don't tell him, God will make sure that your husband finds out, because God is righteous. God loves you and your husband. He wants his best for your marriage. I can promise that if you do the right thing God will reconcile you to your husband. Do not be afraid, for God is with you. He promises to never leave you. It won't be easy. Your husband will need time to trust you, but with God all things are possible.
 
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