Wanting Out, to start over new!

[WhiteRoseofPurity]

Being Married isnt exactly the easiest thing at almost 19 years old. No kids..no life.. married to the wrong man who doesnt really care about anything accept his computer. He has no job.. no way to provide for you. You live off of Medicaid and Food Stamps. You want so much more in life. Is it too late? Is there really more in life for you out there? Questions.. Questions.. thats all I ask myself every day. Are you too scared to make a choice? Do you really want out? Will it make you happier?

-Looking for a real loving caring Prince Charming.

 

[imoss]

dear White Rose. Unfortunately the day you wed your husband is the day you entered into agreement between you, your husband & GOD. For better and for WORSE. I recommend you read Dobsons book love must be tough. Are you supporting you guys right now? You are both still so very young and you need to learn how to be a woman and he needs to learn how to be a man. Its your choice what you do but my opinion is one that marriage is not something to be entered into lightly. It is a commitment to that person until DEATH. You can choose to be a person who lives up to your commitment and makes the best of it through open communication and edification of your husband. Dont throw down on him. Do what you can do for your family & the rest is up to him not you to make changes in him. You are responsible only for how you react and treat him. He is depressed, jobless and on the computer? build him up, tell him whats great about him & encourage him. Definitely do not go looking for your prince Charming, cause its too late, you married this man. He may seem a frog at present but he's young & needs encouragement. You'll be surprised your frog may turn into a prince after all. TALK TALK TALK to him. Not at him. tell him how discouraged you are. His job should be getting a job if he's between jobs. Anyway I just pray for God to bless you and your marriage and you need to go to the Lord first with all you have in all decisions you make and ask him for his will to be done. Take care & God bless you.

 

[WhiteRoseofPurity]

Youre totally right. Thank you so much for your encouragement. What if he doesnt believe in God though, and I cannot change that. I married him four months ago, knew nothing really about him. And you're right, Marriage shouldnt be taken lightly. But how do you over come struggles like these. We both want kids, but our views on how to raise them differ.

-Confused and Ready to be Serious.

 

[imoss]

Marriage is tough, unequally yolked marriage is tougher but doable. You need to have the agreement on how to raise them before preferably. Tell him, its ok if you dont believe in God but if we have Children they will be brought up to know the Lord because I'm not willing to bet their eternity that you are right on this issue. Do pray for your husband, pray specifically for the Lord to soften his heart and please dont condemn him with the word of God. Use your bible as your own reference in your own walk with God do not use it as a tool to prove you are right with an unbeliever. Pray for him & pray for his salvation. In an instant the Lord changes hearts but thats between your husband & the Lord. You are only responsible to raise your kids to be prayerful & to know the Lord by his word. YOur husband will see your light shine as you are faithful to Christ in your daily walk and he will wonder and perhaps come to the Lord. There is a movie faith like potatoes I've just watched, its amazing, you guys should watch it together, maybe you can rent it from your church? they were unequally yolked. Its a true story. Anyway make sure you agree that he will not put you down in your faith in front of the kids and will allow you to teach your children about God regardless of where he stands on Gods existance. As for you, you only control how you react and how you love. My grandmother was married to a very mean man and had 12 children. she had steadfast faith grounded in the word of God and all of her children except my dad have returned to the Lord. This woman read her bible every day, taught her children how to pray and endured persecution from her husband through it all. Teach a child in the way they are to go and when they are old they will not depart from it. make sure you change it up too so that they arent only comfortable praying before bed or before dinner... when you jump in the car say a prayer & have them say the prayers & talk to God not just you. Its odd to speak to you about the children who would be... but so important that you and your husband have agreement on these things BEFORE you have children. It will be so much easier than just winging it when they get here. Tell him he's responsible for instruction on video games and fun stuff and you are responsible for their knowledge of God.

 

[WhiteRoseofPurity]

In 1 Corinthians Ch 7:12-15 Jesus gives permission for divorce when two become one.. but one does not and refuses to believe. My Husband has been involved with Meth (DRUGS) for over four years.. has fellonies for it. He is addicted to Porn.. he sits around all day, is a satan worshiper! He is almost 30 years old! I may be 18 and young, but he is not. I loved him when we got married. But I am afraid I do not love him anymore. Marriage shouldnt be taken lightly. That you are right on. But there are other things I disagree with. Marriage is not supposed to be unequally yolked. It says so right in the Bible. I have broken that commandment. Now I can only pray for forgiveness and help through it. But I am not ready to ruin my life at this age. I want out!

- Ready to be Serious

 

[Appletin]

Dear Whiterose,

I've never been married before and as of now im still single but i want to share with you the love story of my mom and dad. At first, life was like a bed of roses as my mom used to say during their first days of marriage. But, life isn't always easy for them and sometimes their differences get in their way... One day, upon my mom's struggle, God is so good that He came into my her life (i'm still innocent during that time). That was the beginning that my mom learned to give way and understand my dad's shortcomings... I can't even imagine how my mom carried everything but she's always say there's nothing impossible with God. Believe me my dad is even worse, but God is so good that he touched my dad's heart (with the faithful prayer of my mom of course). Then my dad became a Christian too and we can see the changes as compared to his life before. If I'm not mistaken, my mom and dad has been married for about 33 years now, still getting stronger and growing with each other. And if God granted my mom's prayers why won't He grant yours? I believe everything will be okay just hold on to God and put Him in the center of your relationship with your husband. We don't hold the key to change ourselves or somebody else but there's One up there who can.... GOD. =)

GOD BLESS YOU WHITEROSE,

Appletin

 

[imoss]

My dear girl, only you can truly know the heart of your situation. We can only give advice based on our own knowledge & experience in life, what the Bible tells us and what you reveal to us about your situation. I would very very prayerfully consider this and absolutely seek the advise of a pastor. I'm going to pm you as there is someone on here i think you should message with this question who has helped me with his incredible biblical knowledge and sound advice. I once went to him for advice and I was positive he was going to tell me one thing but he biblically supported another stance and it absolutely made sence. The Lord leads you to the people who would help you as well if you deal with your situation prayerfully. Please seek ye first the Kingdom of God & his righteousness regardless of the environment you find yourself stuck in. God Bless you truly this day.

 

[shad]

In 1 Corinthians Ch 7:12-15 Jesus gives permission for divorce when two become one.. but one does not and refuses to believe. My Husband has been involved with Meth (DRUGS) for over four years.. has fellonies for it. He is addicted to Porn.. he sits around all day, is a satan worshiper! He is almost 30 years old! I may be 18 and young, but he is not. I loved him when we got married. But I am afraid I do not love him anymore. Marriage shouldnt be taken lightly. That you are right on. But there are other things I disagree with. Marriage is not supposed to be unequally yolked. It says so right in the Bible. I have broken that commandment. Now I can only pray for forgiveness and help through it. But I am not ready to ruin my life at this age. I want out!

- Ready to be Serious

Think of the many situations that God finds us in when we were dead in trespasses and sins. But because of His great love and mercy He meets us there and draws us with lovingkindness. To this very day I will never understand why He does that but I do know that He is good and kind and merciful no matter what state He finds us in. It takes eternity to comprehend that kind of love, but God is love.

He also has all knowledge and understands everything about your situation and has the perfect wisdom to give you in it. I believe that the greatness of God is revealed in the worst situations. By nature we always want to be on the mountain top but He reveals Himself as the lily of the valley / Solomon 2:1. His light is brightest in the darkest moments. God is light and in Him is no darkness at all. God makes darkness His secret place / Ps 18:9. He wants to get to know you and have fellowship with you in the midst of those moments. God declares that He will never forsake us / Heb 13:5.

Psalm 48:2 says that He is Beautiful for situation, your situation. It feels like it's all dead ashes around you, but He will give you Beauty for ashes and the oil of joy for mourning and a garment of praise for the spirit of heaviness / Is 61:3. Commit this situation that you find yourself to the Lord and put all your trust in Him and He will bring it to pass / Ps 37:5. That's a promise from God and he can be trusted. Every time you are tempted to look at your situation, look to Christ and don't be afraid to call out to Him and tell Him that you believe His promise and don't waiver and keep believing. All things are possible, only believe.

 

[imoss]

And please look up & meditate on scriptures given to you... pray for understanding first.

 

[imoss]

In 1 Corinthians Ch 7:12-15 Jesus gives permission for divorce when two become one.. but one does not and refuses to believe. My Husband has been involved with Meth (DRUGS) for over four years.. has fellonies for it. He is addicted to Porn.. he sits around all day, is a satan worshiper! He is almost 30 years old! I may be 18 and young, but he is not. I loved him when we got married. But I am afraid I do not love him anymore. Marriage shouldnt be taken lightly. That you are right on. But there are other things I disagree with. Marriage is not supposed to be unequally yolked. It says so right in the Bible. I have broken that commandment. Now I can only pray for forgiveness and help through it. But I am not ready to ruin my life at this age. I want out!

- Ready to be Serious

Please review your understanding of 1 Cor 7 10-15
this taken from the KJV via biblegateway.com
1 Corinthians 7:10-15 (King James Version)



10And unto the married I command, yet not I, but the Lord, Let not the wife depart from her husband:
11But and if she depart, let her remain unmarried or be reconciled to her husband: and let not the husband put away his wife.
12But to the rest speak I, not the Lord: If any brother hath a wife that believeth not, and she be pleased to dwell with him, let him not put her away.
13And the woman which hath an husband that believeth not, and if he be pleased to dwell with her, let her not leave him.
14For the unbelieving husband is sanctified by the wife, and the unbelieving wife is sanctified by the husband: else were your children unclean; but now are they holy. 15But if the unbelieving depart, let him depart. A brother or a sister is not under bondage in such cases: but God hath called us to peace.

What this speaks to me is that you are to stay through the bad times, but if he decides to depart you are free to move on in your life. It may not be the words you want to hear but this is what the Bible says about it. Also, another poster had a valid point about illegal activities in another thread... I'll find it and copy & paste it to this thread ok. God bless you.

 

[lighthousejohn]

In 1 Corinthians Ch 7:12-15 Jesus gives permission for divorce when two become one.. but one does not and refuses to believe. My Husband has been involved with Meth (DRUGS) for over four years.. has fellonies for it. He is addicted to Porn.. he sits around all day, is a satan worshiper! He is almost 30 years old! I may be 18 and young, but he is not. I loved him when we got married. But I am afraid I do not love him anymore. Marriage shouldnt be taken lightly. That you are right on. But there are other things I disagree with. Marriage is not supposed to be unequally yolked. It says so right in the Bible. I have broken that commandment. Now I can only pray for forgiveness and help through it. But I am not ready to ruin my life at this age. I want out!

- Ready to be Serious

I agree with everything that Imoss has said to you. I strongly encourage you to talk with your pastor. Make sure you understand your choices per God's word. Do not seek your own understanding but ask your pastor about the passages and then pray about them. Ask God to give you His peace. Lift up your husband and praise God for him and for what God will do for Him. Ask God to make you a beacon of hope for your husband. Ask your pastor to put your situation on a prayer list.

What I am trying to say is don't give up until you have exhausted every avenue available for you and when you reach that point, wait for God.

Heavenly Father, I come to you in Jesus Name and by th power of your Holy Spirit. You know the circumstaneces that my young sister in Christ is in. I ask you to intercede on her behalf. Give her peace and understanding that You are at work on her behalf. I ask that You touch her husbands heart in such a powerful way that he will not be able to turn away but will instead turn to You. I rebuke the devouring spirits of drugs and pornography that have consumed him. I ask you to set this captive free in Jesus name.

This I pray in the name of Jesus!
By His blood we are forgiven!
By His stripes we are healed!
By His resurrection, we have eternal life.
Praise be to God for His grace and mercy.

Amen and amen!

 

[imoss]

and amen!!!

 

[Ashton]

[...] In 1 Corinthians Ch 7:12-15 Jesus gives permission for divorce when two become one.. but one does not and refuses to believe. [...]

1 Corinthians 7:12-15 sounds like Paul is making a distinction between his advice and God's. His advice also does not allow for remarriage after divorce. Matthew 19:8-9 shows that Jesus believes if we divorce our spouse and marry another we are committing adultery. The only exception to the rule, in my understanding of the Jewish marriage process, was that we could (not should) divorce our wife before consummation if we found her to be unfaithful/not a virgin. I think this is what Jesus is talking about. If you believe you have sinned by becoming unequally yoked with an unbeliever, then what good will the sin of divorce do for you? I believe your situation is very serious, but you are not alone.

Also, when the Bible tells married women to win over their husbands through their 'conversation' it should be better translated as 'win them over through the way they live.' It doesn't mean to talk them into repentance. As we can see from real life that rarely works. It just means to win by example. Be a Christian that God would be proud of. Try to win him over through love, open worship of God, kind stubbornness in your faith and humility. And also keep in mind that Paul here is implying that believing wives should remain in a relationship with their unbelieving husband. Presumably as long as possible...

1 Peter 3:1-2 "In the same way, wives, submit to your husbands; so that even if some of them do not believe the Word, they will be won over by your conduct, without your saying anything, as they see your respectful and pure behavior." - Complete Jewish Bible (CJB) Young's Literal Translation also agrees for the most part with this translation.

Concerning how you should raise your children, I believe you should communicate your concerns to him in a sincere manner. Let him know that he has his beliefs but that you also have yours and would like him to consider yours. Let him know that if he wants to raise his children in a pagan tradition then you would also want to raise your children in a Christian tradition and would like for them to choose for themselves their own religion.

I have little experience in this case, so my advice is meager. I hope it helps, though. Take care, WhiteRose.

 

[WhiteRoseofPurity]

Thank you all for your advice. I came here for help, not to be selfish and listen only to me, but to hear out the words of others. I appreciate all that is said. I try to understand the Bible each and every day. I seem to have come upon a hole in my heart. But God is already there. I feel empty though, as if I'm not living everyday, I am just existing. I hope that in time, and by going to a Pastor that it may be revealed to me as of what to do with my life. I have no other words to say, I have no arguments upon your words. I just thank you all, for having the heart to listen.

-Looking for answers.

 

[imoss]

Please know that you will be in my prayers.

 

[Ashton]

I feel empty though, as if I'm not living everyday, I am just existing.

I hear you. When we go through school for our entire lives with deadlines and projects and goals assigned us it becomes a bit unnerving when we get out of school because we don't have readily foreseeable goals. We have to set our own goals as adults now and try to achieve them. Otherwise we'll just feel sedentary and meaningless like we're accomplishing nothing.

 

[NoTearsShed]

Being Married isnt exactly the easiest thing at almost 19 years old. No kids..no life.. married to the wrong man who doesnt really care about anything accept his computer. He has no job.. no way to provide for you. You live off of Medicaid and Food Stamps. You want so much more in life. Is it too late? Is there really more in life for you out there? Questions.. Questions.. thats all I ask myself every day. Are you too scared to make a choice? Do you really want out? Will it make you happier?

-Looking for a real loving caring Prince Charming.

Sadly theres no PRINCE CHARMING.
The only one who will Truly Love you is God =D

Theres No Real love between a man & a woman if they dont both love God.

Not trying to be or sound judgemental but This is why many people here say to wait till you are ready & know for sure to get married & age 18 & under is not really a good age to get married not unless you have known that person for so long & are both into God then well i cant say it aint.
May other young girls & men out there read that & realize to wait & not rush into marriage.


Instead of wanting out you should do everything you can to make it work.
Push him to work, talk to him & talk to God.
God does NOT like divorce

Mark 10: 11-12
11 He answered, "Anyone who divorces his wife and marries another woman commits adultery against her. 12 And if she divorces her husband and marries another man, she commits adultery.

When you said "I do" You made a commitment infront of God that you would cherish & honor & so on to your husband until death do you part.

If you wanted so much more in live then you should have waited.
Now you can try applying for scholar ships & go to college DONT DIVORCE OR EVEN TRY TO DATE but get a career & see if it is good or not.
If you dont want a career then work at any job you can get, make him work to, Disconnect the internent if he wont get off that computer or hide it or put it in your parents house or something.
Instead of feeling sorry for yourself or confused & wanting to divorce Try to make the marriage work Even if its hard NO ONE EVER PROMISED marriage is easy because its not sometimes theres dissagreements but you gotta work them out & remember Most important DONT forget about God CONTINUE LOVING GOD.
I know its hard when a person does not listen or does not care but you can keep praying to God that they listen & change their heart to do right.
Praying & talking to God is the best thing you can do right now second being to talk to your husband.
As for your questiona about "Is it to late?" It is kinda to late since you two are married.
Dont cause another man to sin by marrying another man after being divorced. Its a sin to marry a divorced person.
Matthew 19:9

9 And I say to you: whoever divorces his wife, except for sexual immorality, and marries another, commits adultery."


Footnotes:

1. Matthew 19:9 Some manuscripts add and whoever marries a divorced woman commits adultery; other manuscripts except for sexual immorality, makes her commit adultery, and whoever marries a divorced woman commits adultery

May God bless you & help you & your husband.
Try asking to go to church with you on Sundays Or to read the bible together =D

 

[NoTearsShed]

In 1 Corinthians Ch 7:12-15 Jesus gives permission for divorce when two become one.. but one does not and refuses to believe. My Husband has been involved with Meth (DRUGS) for over four years.. has fellonies for it. He is addicted to Porn.. he sits around all day, is a satan worshiper! He is almost 30 years old! I may be 18 and young, but he is not. I loved him when we got married. But I am afraid I do not love him anymore. Marriage shouldnt be taken lightly. That you are right on. But there are other things I disagree with. Marriage is not supposed to be unequally yolked. It says so right in the Bible. I have broken that commandment. Now I can only pray for forgiveness and help through it. But I am not ready to ruin my life at this age. I want out!

- Ready to be Serious

I see i just read this one, If he is a satan worshipper & does not open his heart to God or to change then keep praying for GOd to help you & to give you the right answer.
I prayed for you,
Sorry if in my other post i sounded a little judmental.

May God guide you to do what he wants you to do & to help you through it.

 

[NoTearsShed]

I hope that in time, and by going to a Pastor that it may be revealed to me as of what to do with my life. I have no other words to say, I have no arguments upon your words. I just thank you all, for having the heart to listen.

-Looking for answers.

Dont rely only on your pastor to tell you what to do with your life but you yourself pray & talk to God
God will reaveal to you what to do with your life.

I prayed for you,

In the past i have prayed about what to do with my life & God put in me to want to do what he wants me to do & he is still working with me =)
God hears prayers.
I think the best thing you can do right now is pray & talk to God.
Read the bible to know right from wrong =)
May Gdd answer your prayers & help you a long with forgive you =)

 

[forgivenandloved]

Being Married isnt exactly the easiest thing at almost 19 years old. No kids..no life.. married to the wrong man who doesnt really care about anything accept his computer. He has no job.. no way to provide for you. You live off of Medicaid and Food Stamps. You want so much more in life. Is it too late? Is there really more in life for you out there? Questions.. Questions.. thats all I ask myself every day. Are you too scared to make a choice? Do you really want out? Will it make you happier?

-Looking for a real loving caring Prince Charming.

Are you sure you're married to the wrong guy or are you unhappy because he has no job. Make sure you check yourself first and make sure your marriage is a triangle. You and your husband on the bottom and God on the top. As you both get closer to God, you get closer to each other. Like this: