P
The dating culture has become exceedingly popular today around most of the world. In this, two people will go out to be alone and engage in more or less romantic relationships. I think this encourages premarital sex, and is really designed to facilitate it; but even when that intention is not on the mind it automatically sets up the people as being in a 'mate' relationship, which can dramatically alter the dynamic.
One alternative, supposedly Christian, is courtship. In reality, courtship is a product of the caricatured formality of medieval political institutions. Its elaborate rules, rituals can to push sexual liasons underground due to the frustration of the absurd difficulties of getting to see someone you might have married five years ago. Add to that the totally alien nature of such customs and the encouragement it gives to parental tyranny and this will not only drive kids away from legitimate marriage but also their family and religion.
I think the alternative is obvious: meet people in church, or friends of family, in a safe and friendly environment where coupling is not de facto on the forefront of everyone's mind, and where the parents don't feel the need to act like the CIA or Gestapo. If you meet a friend of the family or church member you like then you can arrange to be at other family and church functions where they will attend, until you are finally ready to discuss marriage - at which point your families and fellow parishoners should all have some familiarity and evaluative evidence to go on.
I don't even get why there need be such a thing as 'dating' or 'courting', it is essentially an attempt at a pre-marriage marriage; it is not Biblical and it is obviously malfunctioning. Almost every marriage in my family started from family and church events or happenstance meetings of new persons who were then INVITED to family and church events. Certainly if someone is going to be your husband or wife they better be able to sit with your father and go to church with you.
One alternative, supposedly Christian, is courtship. In reality, courtship is a product of the caricatured formality of medieval political institutions. Its elaborate rules, rituals can to push sexual liasons underground due to the frustration of the absurd difficulties of getting to see someone you might have married five years ago. Add to that the totally alien nature of such customs and the encouragement it gives to parental tyranny and this will not only drive kids away from legitimate marriage but also their family and religion.
I think the alternative is obvious: meet people in church, or friends of family, in a safe and friendly environment where coupling is not de facto on the forefront of everyone's mind, and where the parents don't feel the need to act like the CIA or Gestapo. If you meet a friend of the family or church member you like then you can arrange to be at other family and church functions where they will attend, until you are finally ready to discuss marriage - at which point your families and fellow parishoners should all have some familiarity and evaluative evidence to go on.
I don't even get why there need be such a thing as 'dating' or 'courting', it is essentially an attempt at a pre-marriage marriage; it is not Biblical and it is obviously malfunctioning. Almost every marriage in my family started from family and church events or happenstance meetings of new persons who were then INVITED to family and church events. Certainly if someone is going to be your husband or wife they better be able to sit with your father and go to church with you.