My wife and I are taking a church marriage class using the book, "Love and Respect". It's good so far. I like the book so far and the first class was good.
The book has a scenario similar to yours. A husband drives home from a really long business trip. He opens the door, and instead of a greeting from his wife, she gives him a laundry list of all the problems that week. I remembered coming home from a 16 hours drive while moving. I went to see my wife, and she wanted me to help with one of the kids. Two of them had to relieve themselves at the same time. One was little, and she was changing the other's diaper. Not a good greet, but not really her fault.
If your wife isn't trying to improve as a wife and she needs to, then that can be difficult. But have you tried asking her to greet you a certain way at the door? It may make it feel less 'special' if you have to tell her... but that's thinking like a girl, isn't it.
Tell her how much you like it if she greets you with a kind words, a smile, a hug and a kiss when you get home. My wife and I were talking about that the other day, and she tries to do the same. That's something you can do. When your wife comes back from work, shopping, etc., you can greet her well, too.
But if your wife is grumpy when you come home, that's no reason to start thinking about divorce. My wife has been grumpy and told me she likes it if I'm away because she can get more done when she's in a bad mood. Women say stuff like that sometimes. Be kind to her.
Some women like flowers. For other women, you might just get a thank you and it doesn't really do much for them either way. I don't think they do much for marriage problems, usually. Maybe if your wife gets upset if you don't get her something for Valentine's Day, flowers will prevent that sort of thing. Flowers die in a few days, so it's a waste of money if she doesn't really like them.
You could try to find a church marriage class or read a book like "Love and Respect" together. Some women love it if their husband wants to read a marriage book together. "His Needs, Her Needs" has some good stuff in it to. So far, Love and Respect seems to be doing a good job of communicating a man's needs in a way she understands. And if you both embrace what the book says, just really putting in an effort to pay attention to meet one another's needs creates a lot of good will that is good for the marriage.