So here's something I've started thinking about, all of us have certain personalities and preferred ways of doing things. Most of the time there are both positive and negative sides to whatever approach we take towards something,whether it be making new friends, preparing for a trip or a big life transition, or just how we communicate (or fail to communicate) in our daily lives.
So my question, my musing, is what do we do when we have to confront the negative effects of the way we are/ the way we have chosen to be? Do we try to change our approach(and has anyone successfully done this in their life)? Do we just kind of resign ourselves to the fact that everything costs something and these negatives are the price we pay to do things the way we want? Do we whine and complain about how unfair it is that the rest of the world won't conform to the perfect ideal in our head?
For people who need a more concrete example of my above theorizing it goes something like: I have few real life friends and I don't like that, but I'm not really motivated to try to make new friends, because past experience has been that most relationships end up being rather one-sided and draining for me, but I guess maybe that's because while I'm very willing to help someone else out with something small, I don't ask for help until I know I'm completely beaten by an issue or problem. (And me being me I could probably continue this and go into why I don't ask for help, falliability of people making them unreliable, etc. etc. ) But by this logic, as long as I continue to not ask for help, I'll probably continue in this state of feeling like friendships are more work than reward and suffering the attendant loneliness of being disconnected.
Anyone else got anything like this going on, where you may feel trapped by yourself, but have no idea how to practically make a change?
So my question, my musing, is what do we do when we have to confront the negative effects of the way we are/ the way we have chosen to be? Do we try to change our approach(and has anyone successfully done this in their life)? Do we just kind of resign ourselves to the fact that everything costs something and these negatives are the price we pay to do things the way we want? Do we whine and complain about how unfair it is that the rest of the world won't conform to the perfect ideal in our head?
For people who need a more concrete example of my above theorizing it goes something like: I have few real life friends and I don't like that, but I'm not really motivated to try to make new friends, because past experience has been that most relationships end up being rather one-sided and draining for me, but I guess maybe that's because while I'm very willing to help someone else out with something small, I don't ask for help until I know I'm completely beaten by an issue or problem. (And me being me I could probably continue this and go into why I don't ask for help, falliability of people making them unreliable, etc. etc. ) But by this logic, as long as I continue to not ask for help, I'll probably continue in this state of feeling like friendships are more work than reward and suffering the attendant loneliness of being disconnected.
Anyone else got anything like this going on, where you may feel trapped by yourself, but have no idea how to practically make a change?