why is it that in a community of people, all eyes go to the parents to establish faith, some kids are so precious and develop faith on their own or are given faith
and i was one of those
but now something has changed and my parents have turned as an evil influence against me, even destroying my reputation in this community and making my heart become hard
no man has wanted me because my stepdad has always spoken hurtful, untruthful, wrong thougts about me
and now the common belief of men is what he believes
how sad is that for me
I don't know what kind of men you've been involved with but personally I prefer to find out for myself what a woman is like. I hate rumour and if I hear one I just ask the person up front. It means that I rub people the wrong way, but life is too short to beat around the bush.
Perhaps your problem is not your stepfather, perhaps its your own attitude. You absolutely ooze anger. It washes off you in waves. Even in your writing I can feel the absolute hate flowing out of you.
That perhaps is what is driving men away. God is love he sent his Son to die for us on a cross. Despite all the sin, all the rage and anger and hate sent his way he still out of love for us sent his one and only Son as the perfect sacrifice in atonement of sin. He could have rightly so said aw screw them they just wont appreciate it anyway. They keep spreading rumours, telling lies about me. Cursing me. From now on I'm going to hate them too. Oh, there's a lovely asteroid I think I'll drop it on them just because.
He didn't. After three years of ridicule, hatred and scorn. After a night of horrendus torture at the hands of the people he was sent to save, Christ said "Father, forgive them for they know not what they do". Then he bowed his head and let himself die for us.
As Christians we are supposed to be becoming more Christ like. Part of that is saying "Father forgive them for they know not what they do".
I can only hope you will learn that before your rage, anger, and hatred become irreversible. Remeber our time here is only a short span, then we will spend all of eternity with God in heaven. Free of pain and sorrow. How can you hope to enjoy heaven when you will bring the hatred with you. As it stands there is a gulf between you and God because of your hate. remove it before its too late. Give your anger to God. Keep you mind and eyes focused on him. Revel in his love.
I hope you don't just dismiss what I've just said. I've been where you are now. I've made mistakes I've been filled with anger and hate. It took me years to put it aside and forgive the people that hurt me. But I'm now at peace. I've given it to God. I am safe in his hand. The hand that holds the universe. I am forever anchored in his Grace and love.