Why it never can be simple? :(

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T

tjogs

Senior Member
#1
Jun 28, 2009
323
18
18
#1
8-9 years ago my friend introduced me and one of his friends to each other. Really nice girl who was planning to start studying theology, year later God led me to meet girl who need friend and someone who care. half year from that, I found out that i had emotions to both of these girls. Things passed and my relationship with the one God "introduced" got deeper, it wasn't easy but eventually we married and then to our sadness the marriage got broken (I don't mind to explain reasons in this post)

2 years ago I met girl in internet. Her life was difficult and year ago God asked me: "Love her with my love. Her life depends on it" AND i met recently another girl "accidentally" trough my friend. Charming and cheerful girl. And with these two i find myself in same situation as 8 years ago.

I like them both, i have the first one close friendship and the second is from my side at least a friend.
The first one I mentioned though lives too far for meeting (Without God's active help meeting her is nearly impossible. i would need like 1 year salary to travel to her for max 1 week, the other lives nearby city where I got good connections.)

The girl I didn't "chose" 8 years ago is still my friend and now married. (ironically to me for her the relationship started same time when my relationship with the other girl ended)


Anyone else have this kind of situation(s) in life? How you dealt it?
 
U

Ugly

Guest
#2
#2
So if i understand. You make the assumption that God brings these women to you to help, and you feel to marry one. But why do you make the assumption that you need to be romantically involved with any of them? Can't you help them just to help them?
Thats the trick about helping people of the opposite sex, it forms strong bonds and makes you feel romantic towards them, causing our judgment to be clouded by emotion. Thats why counselors are trained to keep their emotions out of their job. So that they don't develop 'connections' with their clients that would be inappropriate. This is needed especially because many time the clients will develop 'feelings' for their counselor. But the reality is they aren't real feelings. They're just feeling an attraction to being listened to and a sense of being cared for.
 
shemaiah

shemaiah

Senior Member
#3
Jan 28, 2011
2,233
30
48
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#3
Ugly has said exactly what I wanted to say, only better. Lol God bless
 
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tjogs

Senior Member
#4
Jun 28, 2009
323
18
18
#4
With two of these girls, yes I think so, the other two I met same time I don't know. They don't have such "request" for aid as I feel/felt on the other.

The romantic involvement wasn't actually assumption that I need such more like.. well accident which happened now second time in similar case.
Your advice to keep those two things separate is good one.
 
U

Ugly

Guest
#5
#5
(=
Always good when God can use us, eh?
 
G

ginger1020

Guest
#6
#6
TJogs:

First I would suggest that you pray and wait on God to respond and to realize that we should not assume (I was taught long time ago to break assume done because when you do assume- it will make an a_ _ out of u and me-) remember to assume you are thinking it is from GOD but don't forget
Satan is a master manipulator he knows ur weaknesses and your vulernerbilities and preys on them so first you have to be still because all things are not of GOD, even GOD warns us about falsehoods.

Then take a break from relationship and take time for yourself and look within yourself as to why you are drawn to women you feel the need to rescue
and pray to GOD to reveal your weaknesses and strength you.

Best wishes.
 
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