Engaging with "disputes/fights/quarrels/etc" as wrong as starting them?

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1

1still_waters

Guest
#1
#1
I hear a lot about how wrong it is to start "disputes/fights/quarrels/etc", and these types of statements come from people who continually engage those they perceive as the starter of "disputes/fights/quarrels/etc". (I put it in quotes, because it's somewhat debatable if something is truly a dispute/fight/quarrel/etc. It may simply be an honest debate that one party is frustrated with.)

If someone perceives someone else as the starter of disputes/fights/quarrels/division/etc, aren't they just as in the wrong for engaging with and getting entangled in it?

2 Timothy 2
[SUP]23 [/SUP]Don’t have anything to do with foolish and stupid arguments, because you know they produce quarrels.[SUP]24 [/SUP]And the Lord’s servant must not be quarrelsome but must be kind to everyone, able to teach, not resentful.
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So I guess, if you're someone who perceives others as the starters of disputes/fights/quarrels/division/etc, if you indeed engage them, and go back and forth with them, aren't you just as guilty as them?

Thoughts?
 
JimJimmers

JimJimmers

Senior Member
#2
Apr 26, 2012
2,589
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#2
Re: Engaging with "disputes/fights/quarrels/etc" as wrong as starting them?

"But if any man be ignorant, let him be ignorant."

Once someone is clearly not going to listen, and you're just talking to yourself, it's time to pull the plug. Don't keep talking to this guy!

 
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1still_waters

Guest
#3
#3
Re: Engaging with "disputes/fights/quarrels/etc" as wrong as starting them?

Jim..the guy on the right looks familiar..I'm sure he has many twins and/or clones.
 
A

Ariel82

Guest
#4
#4
Re: Engaging with "disputes/fights/quarrels/etc" as wrong as starting them?

so Jim are we not to talk to the first or the second guy?


or just be safe and not talk to either?

j/k

I think if you see someone negatively (as a starter of arguments), why bother talking to them at all?

I would rather spending time talking to folks I actually like and respect.
 
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1still_waters

Guest
#5
#5
Re: Engaging with "disputes/fights/quarrels/etc" as wrong as starting them?

Ariel82 said:
I think if you see someone negatively (as a starter of arguments), why bother talking to them at all?

I would rather spending time talking to folks I actually like and respect.
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Yeah it just hit me today.
Yes the starters of these things are in the wrong, if they truly ARE engaged in those things.
But on the other hand, if someone is getting their dander up repeatedly over those they perceive as doing such, and such people keep engaging them, then they're just kinda as guilty, seeing the Bible says not to get entangled in it in the first place. So if they're going to cast wrongness on them, they kinda have to cast some wrongness on themselves too..
 
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JesusChica1991

JesusChica1991

Banned
#6
May 9, 2012
1,514
25
0
#6
Re: Engaging with "disputes/fights/quarrels/etc" as wrong as starting them?

I mentioned this earlier in another thread. If a person gets too passionate to where they get overtly emotional about the post and argument, they need to step away for a while until they calm down or just walk away from it. Is it really worth your blood pressure to get SO worked up over something the church has debated over for generations?
 
maxwel

maxwel

Senior Member
#7
Apr 18, 2013
9,443
2,520
113
#7
Re: Engaging with "disputes/fights/quarrels/etc" as wrong as starting them?

Respectful debate should be fine.

It should always be fine.

When people start getting upset, they need to sit in a corner for a while.
 
A

Ariel82

Guest
#8
#8
Re: Engaging with "disputes/fights/quarrels/etc" as wrong as starting them?

but but but!....




nm.

lol :)
 
R

rfkeller

Guest
#9
#9
Re: Engaging with "disputes/fights/quarrels/etc" as wrong as starting them?

Relationships are humans biggest struggle. Spouse, family, work, friends, God....

I know we have a family member who is making bad life choices. Christian woman that dates a multiple felon who gets her pregnant (has 3 other kids & never married), accuses her of domestic violence 2x and she is arrested, has her fired from 2 jobs, has stolen her credit card and made large purchases, etc.... and now he is back in prison. She is anxiously awaiting his release so they can get back together.

My wife and I have tried to help her see the dangerous decisions; but she is very defensive and agry. It is HARD to watch someone walk to the cliff and not do what you think you can do to pull them back. But now most conversations are her calling & immediately yelling and cussing. The easy answer is to walk away. The most difficult answer is to walk away.
 
A

Abiding

Guest
#10
#10
Re: Engaging with "disputes/fights/quarrels/etc" as wrong as starting them?

love it when one engages the other knowing by experience they
will get chopped off at the knees, then engages anyway...then acts surprised
and hollers about it.........then does it again and again and again.
 
A

Ariel82

Guest
#11
#11
Re: Engaging with "disputes/fights/quarrels/etc" as wrong as starting them?

rfkeller,

sometimes falling on your knees and praying for someone will do more than hours of argument or logical reasoning. Pray that God opens his eyes and guards her heart from his lies until he is repentant and humble. I don't know why people do what they do but it sounds like she is looking for love in all the wrong places.

why would she call just to yell and curse?

you don't have to walk away but you can stand and simply say "I love you, can we pray together?" then if she keeps yell, ignore her and concentrate on praying for her. perhaps play some Christian music or sing a hymn or something.

normally they calm down, cry and pray with you or they walk away, still angry and bitter.

we don't know what God plans for people, but we should never give up hope or stop praying for them because God never gave up on us.
 
zone

zone

Senior Member
#12
Jun 13, 2010
27,214
164
63
#12
Re: Engaging with "disputes/fights/quarrels/etc" as wrong as starting them?

Abiding said:
love it when one engages the other knowing by experience they
will get chopped off at the knees, then engages anyway...then acts surprised
and hollers about it.........then does it again and again and again.
Click to expand...
June 6, 2013

Dear Mike,

Just writing this brief note to say hello.
Haven't spoken in a while.
I hope all is going well for you, and that you are blessed in all you do.

Things are lovely here this time of year.
It's the caterpillars-trying-to-cocoon-but-birds-keep-coming-in-for-the-feast time.
Next the early fawns with their wobbly legs will tip-toe along the trail with their mothers,
the grouse have nearly finished their loud romancing, and of course there are so many quail
one wonders how they keep their individual families sorted out.

The neighbors are well, as always. Craig had an heart operation, so i'm trying to help with the pond.
He finally realized the duck-weed wasn't something to rake away - lol....we had some nesters last year.
I'm certain they'll be back, which can make exiting the property slow, if we're blessed enough to be there when they cross from the creek side to the pond. Those little yellow fuzzies with their paddles-for-feet are adorable, aren't they?

I'm enjoying my grand-puppy immensely, though Sidney and Roger have expressed some jealousy.
They'll get over it. Cheezey pet treats help soothe the upset.

Just wanted to drop a line and say hello. How are things in your neck of the woods?
My stairs are still a little precarious, but don't you worry - I'll manage.

Peace and joy to you, in Christ Our Lord,
Love Kath
 
crossnote

crossnote

Senior Member
#13
Nov 24, 2012
30,712
3,651
113
#13
Re: Engaging with "disputes/fights/quarrels/etc" as wrong as starting them?

Ariel82 said:
but but but!....




nm.

lol :)
Click to expand...
I think that sums it up for many of us 'well intentioned' folk.
 
A

Ariel82

Guest
#14
#14
Re: Engaging with "disputes/fights/quarrels/etc" as wrong as starting them?

Abiding said:
love it when one engages the other knowing by experience they
will get chopped off at the knees, then engages anyway...then acts surprised
and hollers about it.........then does it again and again and again.
Click to expand...
 
Stephen63

Stephen63

Banned
#15
Aug 15, 2009
9,745
179
0
#15
Re: Engaging with "disputes/fights/quarrels/etc" as wrong as starting them?

Perhaps it would be helpful for modern-day Christians to take a class in profiling if they're going to spend a lot of time on a Christian chat site. There are those like Abiding says that are gluttons for punishment, and there are those who enjoy chopping people off at the knees. Profiling is good at the carnal, psychological level. It helps to have it when people lack discernment.
If we could clearly see those who are here just for the kill, we would be able to make things much more pleasant for everyone. If those types of people aren't stopped, turnover will continue.
 
Stephen63

Stephen63

Banned
#16
Aug 15, 2009
9,745
179
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#16
Re: Engaging with "disputes/fights/quarrels/etc" as wrong as starting them?

Perhaps also it would be in order to take a class on spiritual strongholds whether you believe in them or not..........could prove to be quite educational.
 
A

Abiding

Guest
#17
#17
Re: Engaging with "disputes/fights/quarrels/etc" as wrong as starting them?

Stephen63 said:
Perhaps it would be helpful for modern-day Christians to take a class in profiling if they're going to spend a lot of time on a Christian chat site. There are those like Abiding says that are gluttons for punishment, and there are those who enjoy chopping people off at the knees. Profiling is good at the carnal, psychological level. It helps to have it when people lack discernment.
If we could clearly see those who are here just for the kill, we would be able to make things much more pleasant for everyone. If those types of people aren't stopped, turnover will continue.
Click to expand...

Is this some kind of explanation why you spend the time playing to the crowd? On a carnal, psychological level.
Gee i just thought you were upset and out to quiet those who are against some of your biblical views and positions.
Lacking discernment is a Pentecostal cliche isnt it? Meaning people who stand against their view...right?
Profiling? ha
Spiritual strongholds? thats even funnier. Although in a sense.....I think i see the irony:p
 
Bookends

Bookends

Senior Member
#18
Aug 28, 2012
4,225
99
48
#18
Re: Engaging with "disputes/fights/quarrels/etc" as wrong as starting them?

Ecclesiastes 7

For there is not a just man on earth who does good
And does not sin. [SUP]21 [/SUP]Also do not take to heart everything people say,
Lest you hear your servant cursing you.
[SUP]22 [/SUP]For many times, also, your own heart has known
That even you have cursed others.
 
Bookends

Bookends

Senior Member
#19
Aug 28, 2012
4,225
99
48
#19
Re: Engaging with "disputes/fights/quarrels/etc" as wrong as starting them?

rfkeller said:
Relationships are humans biggest struggle. Spouse, family, work, friends, God....

I know we have a family member who is making bad life choices. Christian woman that dates a multiple felon who gets her pregnant (has 3 other kids & never married), accuses her of domestic violence 2x and she is arrested, has her fired from 2 jobs, has stolen her credit card and made large purchases, etc.... and now he is back in prison. She is anxiously awaiting his release so they can get back together.

My wife and I have tried to help her see the dangerous decisions; but she is very defensive and agry. It is HARD to watch someone walk to the cliff and not do what you think you can do to pull them back. But now most conversations are her calling & immediately yelling and cussing. The easy answer is to walk away. The most difficult answer is to walk away.
Click to expand...
Ecclesiastes 7:26

[SUP]26 [/SUP]And I find more bitter than death
The woman whose heart is snares and nets,
Whose hands are fetters.
He who pleases God shall escape from her,
But the sinner shall be trapped by her.

If she spent her time and efforts pleasing God, she would be able to escape him.
 
J

jinx

Guest
#20
#20
Re: Engaging with "disputes/fights/quarrels/etc" as wrong as starting them?

normally I can get along with just about anyone, but you start pointing finger at me all the time while trying to look all holy is kinda a turn off.
example of a post......
jinx,
your wrong-wrong and your stupid for thinking such wrong things and blah blah giddyup yahoo....

your brother in Christ for HIS glory
bro so and so
Click to expand...
(this part really gets me cause they insult you in the name of christ)


really????
where I come from that would get ya slapped.
 
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