A Godly marriage between A man and A woman

  • Christian Chat is a moderated online Christian community allowing Christians around the world to fellowship with each other in real time chat via webcam, voice, and text, with the Christian Chat app. You can also start or participate in a Bible-based discussion here in the Christian Chat Forums, where members can also share with each other their own videos, pictures, or favorite Christian music.

    If you are a Christian and need encouragement and fellowship, we're here for you! If you are not a Christian but interested in knowing more about Jesus our Lord, you're also welcome! Want to know what the Bible says, and how you can apply it to your life? Join us!

    To make new Christian friends now around the world, click here to join Christian Chat.

MOC

Member
Mar 20, 2020
78
67
18
#1
A marriage between a Christian man and a Christian woman is most solemn. When contemplating marriage in a relationship, a Christian should earnestly seek out what the Bible says concerning the joining of man and woman as "one flesh". This covenant is serious and is not meant to be broken by the man or the woman. The divorce rate in the United States has actually fallen over the past decade but only because the marriage rate also has. Marriage can bring out the very best in people, but unfortunately, it can also bring out the very worst. Because we are sinners, being two biologically unique individuals, we struggle at times to live as "one flesh" righteously before our Heavenly Father. There are circumstances, undoubtedly, when it is wise for a couple to separate. This is actually what the word divorce really means: separate or dissociate. 1 Corinthians 7:10-16, speaks on the matter of divorce and the conditions for it.

As a married couple, we are to be obedient to our Heavenly Father, love Him together, and live out our lives together in a way that brings glory to God. Under the law of Moses, divorce and remarriage were authorized. Jesus said because it was "the hardness of your hearts". Let's remember that Moses never commanded divorce. He permitted it. It protected women from being taken advantage of by a verbal divorce. Moses permitted A "writing of divorcement", an official written contract allowing divorce and remarriage. In Matthew 19:9, Jesus gives an exception for divorce which is sexual immorality. The legitimacy of the divorce does not necessarily establish the legitimacy of remarriage. Scripture never commands that one MUST divorce an unfaithful wife or husband. God makes it very clear where He stands on divorce. The Bible says He "hates divorce". Christian men and women must have faith in the Lord to lead them to the right person for marriage. If we do our part through constant prayer and communication with God, He will bring those to the right companion. Ultimately, we make the choice to stay in the relationship with whom God, through constant prayer and communication, has selected for us. If we choose a companion based on our own presumptions and the opinions of others, we choose outside the will of God.

1 Corinthians 7:14-15 "The unbelieving husband is sanctified by the wife, and the unbelieving wife is sanctified by the husband.........But if the unbelieving depart, let him depart. A brother or a sister is not under bondage in such cases: but God hath called us to peace". The unbeliever and the children are considered Holy in a positional sense. Together with the believer, they share in God's blessing and are more likely to become converted. But if the unbeliever were to "depart" or divorce, the believer's divine standard cannot be imposed on the unregenerate. There is nothing the believer can do but submit to the divorce. A Christian's Divine standard cannot be compromised.

Ephesians 5:25 "Husbands, love your wives, even as Christ also loved the church, and gave himself for it." The marital responsibility of husbands is to "love your wives." The Greek word rendered "love" is Agapao, which denotes the willing sacrificial giving on the husband's part for the benefit of his wife, without thought of return. Jesus, "gave himself" for the church, so there is no sacrifice, even laying down his life, that a husband should not be willing to make for his wife. God intends for a marriage to be between a man and a woman and that the man will have ONE wife and the woman will have ONE husband. God instituted the first marriage and sanctified and blessed the first home with Adam and Eve. No matter the burdens, responsibilities, tests and trials, or sickness and health, God intends for them to be faithful to each other until death.

Authority of the husband in the home
The Bible is clear. God's plan for the family is that the husband is subject to Christ, the wife be in submission to the husband, and the children be in submission to the parents. The husband is not to rule over his wife as a dictator, but he has the heavy responsibility of making decisions based on family matters. However, those decisions should include his wife. Colossians 3:18 says, "wives, submit yourselves unto your own husbands, as it is fit in the Lord." It is upon God's authority that the wife submits to the leadership of her husband as long as he does not violate God's will. When everyone is living their lives according to God's principles for a Christian home, one will always find a happy, strong, and stable family.

1 Peter chapter 3, talks about the behaviors of the husband and wife toward each other. When these Godly principles are violated, then there becomes a tendency for the Christian family to break down. There will become a lack of respect between the husband and the wife. This in turn will affect the children. Children notice. They are aware of more than parents realize. They may not fully understand what is going on, but the negative attitudes the husband and wife have toward one another are recognized and creates a rebellious tendency among the children.

Friction in the family is generally rooted in the husband's failure to love his wife and the lack of respect the wife gives to her husband. It is a huge myth that people learn from television that men need sexual intimacy in order to feel loved by their wives. It's actually respect that men need. Respect is how men interpret love from their wives. If they don't feel respected by their wives, then they don't feel loved. How women interpret love from their husbands is not through materialistic things as seen on tv. They require intimacy. Not always physical intimacy but also emotional. When the husband can express his emotional desires for his wife and share his most intimate feelings with her, it allows her to see the love her husband has for her. Television and the internet have greatly corrupted the minds of the Christian family and have interrupted their fellowship as husband and wife with the Lord. A fulfilled marriage for a man and woman is finding the will of God for their lives according to God's principle values of marriage.
 

Gideon300

Well-known member
Mar 18, 2021
4,894
2,833
113
#2
A marriage between a Christian man and a Christian woman is most solemn. When contemplating marriage in a relationship, a Christian should earnestly seek out what the Bible says concerning the joining of man and woman as "one flesh". This covenant is serious and is not meant to be broken by the man or the woman. The divorce rate in the United States has actually fallen over the past decade but only because the marriage rate also has. Marriage can bring out the very best in people, but unfortunately, it can also bring out the very worst. Because we are sinners, being two biologically unique individuals, we struggle at times to live as "one flesh" righteously before our Heavenly Father. There are circumstances, undoubtedly, when it is wise for a couple to separate. This is actually what the word divorce really means: separate or dissociate. 1 Corinthians 7:10-16, speaks on the matter of divorce and the conditions for it.

As a married couple, we are to be obedient to our Heavenly Father, love Him together, and live out our lives together in a way that brings glory to God. Under the law of Moses, divorce and remarriage were authorized. Jesus said because it was "the hardness of your hearts". Let's remember that Moses never commanded divorce. He permitted it. It protected women from being taken advantage of by a verbal divorce. Moses permitted A "writing of divorcement", an official written contract allowing divorce and remarriage. In Matthew 19:9, Jesus gives an exception for divorce which is sexual immorality. The legitimacy of the divorce does not necessarily establish the legitimacy of remarriage. Scripture never commands that one MUST divorce an unfaithful wife or husband. God makes it very clear where He stands on divorce. The Bible says He "hates divorce". Christian men and women must have faith in the Lord to lead them to the right person for marriage. If we do our part through constant prayer and communication with God, He will bring those to the right companion. Ultimately, we make the choice to stay in the relationship with whom God, through constant prayer and communication, has selected for us. If we choose a companion based on our own presumptions and the opinions of others, we choose outside the will of God.

1 Corinthians 7:14-15 "The unbelieving husband is sanctified by the wife, and the unbelieving wife is sanctified by the husband.........But if the unbelieving depart, let him depart. A brother or a sister is not under bondage in such cases: but God hath called us to peace". The unbeliever and the children are considered Holy in a positional sense. Together with the believer, they share in God's blessing and are more likely to become converted. But if the unbeliever were to "depart" or divorce, the believer's divine standard cannot be imposed on the unregenerate. There is nothing the believer can do but submit to the divorce. A Christian's Divine standard cannot be compromised.

Ephesians 5:25 "Husbands, love your wives, even as Christ also loved the church, and gave himself for it." The marital responsibility of husbands is to "love your wives." The Greek word rendered "love" is Agapao, which denotes the willing sacrificial giving on the husband's part for the benefit of his wife, without thought of return. Jesus, "gave himself" for the church, so there is no sacrifice, even laying down his life, that a husband should not be willing to make for his wife. God intends for a marriage to be between a man and a woman and that the man will have ONE wife and the woman will have ONE husband. God instituted the first marriage and sanctified and blessed the first home with Adam and Eve. No matter the burdens, responsibilities, tests and trials, or sickness and health, God intends for them to be faithful to each other until death.

Authority of the husband in the home
The Bible is clear. God's plan for the family is that the husband is subject to Christ, the wife be in submission to the husband, and the children be in submission to the parents. The husband is not to rule over his wife as a dictator, but he has the heavy responsibility of making decisions based on family matters. However, those decisions should include his wife. Colossians 3:18 says, "wives, submit yourselves unto your own husbands, as it is fit in the Lord." It is upon God's authority that the wife submits to the leadership of her husband as long as he does not violate God's will. When everyone is living their lives according to God's principles for a Christian home, one will always find a happy, strong, and stable family.

1 Peter chapter 3, talks about the behaviors of the husband and wife toward each other. When these Godly principles are violated, then there becomes a tendency for the Christian family to break down. There will become a lack of respect between the husband and the wife. This in turn will affect the children. Children notice. They are aware of more than parents realize. They may not fully understand what is going on, but the negative attitudes the husband and wife have toward one another are recognized and creates a rebellious tendency among the children.

Friction in the family is generally rooted in the husband's failure to love his wife and the lack of respect the wife gives to her husband. It is a huge myth that people learn from television that men need sexual intimacy in order to feel loved by their wives. It's actually respect that men need. Respect is how men interpret love from their wives. If they don't feel respected by their wives, then they don't feel loved. How women interpret love from their husbands is not through materialistic things as seen on tv. They require intimacy. Not always physical intimacy but also emotional. When the husband can express his emotional desires for his wife and share his most intimate feelings with her, it allows her to see the love her husband has for her. Television and the internet have greatly corrupted the minds of the Christian family and have interrupted their fellowship as husband and wife with the Lord. A fulfilled marriage for a man and woman is finding the will of God for their lives according to God's principle values of marriage.
You underestimate the importance of sex in the marriage relationship. I would recommend couples read "The Act of Marriage" by Tim and Beverly Le Hay.

Paul advises couples to not refrain from sex unless for a good reason. Sex is normal, natural and approved of by God, who made us sexual beings - prior to the fall.

The devil has corrupted the minds of most. Firstly, he degraded sex, especially through the teachings of Roman Catholicism. My mother was taught that sex was the original sin. Secondly, he devalues marriage and sex by the promotion of fornication.

A healthy sex life is a sign of a healthy marriage. I knew that my marriage was in trouble when my then wife turned away from me and went to sleep. And even more troubling, I was glad. 3 weeks later, we separated and it was all over.
 
K

kaylagrl

Guest
#3
You underestimate the importance of sex in the marriage relationship. I would recommend couples read "The Act of Marriage" by Tim and Beverly Le Hay.

Paul advises couples to not refrain from sex unless for a good reason. Sex is normal, natural and approved of by God, who made us sexual beings - prior to the fall.

The devil has corrupted the minds of most. Firstly, he degraded sex, especially through the teachings of Roman Catholicism. My mother was taught that sex was the original sin. Secondly, he devalues marriage and sex by the promotion of fornication.

A healthy sex life is a sign of a healthy marriage. I knew that my marriage was in trouble when my then wife turned away from me and went to sleep. And even more troubling, I was glad. 3 weeks later, we separated and it was all over.

Biblically sound but causes a whole lot of argument in here. I don't know why. Dont be surprised at some of the answers you get.
 

Blade

Well-known member
Nov 19, 2019
1,607
575
113
#4
Marriage.. thanks op great post. Lol I remember something happened between us and were now on the couch of my wifes best friends mom. Who just happen to be a missionary. The part that stuck out was "Marriage is not always 100/100 sometimes its 75/100, 50/50 25/75 0/100"

Since I was in my late 40's I changed how I treat my wife. The short is.. in a fight this love came over me and He showed me her heart. Her heart was nothing at all how she was acting and I had this love for her..oh I wish it was like that 24/7. All I wanted was to treat her like a queen. No if how she was acting mad saying awful things.. if thats how she was going to be for the rest of our lifes.. Didn't bother me at all. It lol so strange..well it was a reward to treat her like a queen. I didn't care if she would ever be nice to me ever even think of me. I didn't care. All I wanted was to love her to please her to make her happy. HOW giving was a reward. Yet looking after that what the word says.. its more blessed to give and God gives more then any one. As fast at it came it lifted.

I truly believe this love your enemy.. to forgive ..we go as far as we can then He takes over. That love comes from Him not us. So It try to always live treat her not expecting anything. Not why I married her. I never tell her how she should be treating me. no no what God looks at is how am I treating her.
 
P

Polar

Guest
#5
Friction in the family is generally rooted in the husband's failure to love his wife and the lack of respect the wife gives to her husband. It is a huge myth that people learn from television that men need sexual intimacy in order to feel loved by their wives. It's actually respect that men need. Respect is how men interpret love from their wives. If they don't feel respected by their wives, then they don't feel loved. How women interpret love from their husbands is not through materialistic things as seen on tv. They require intimacy. Not always physical intimacy but also emotional. When the husband can express his emotional desires for his wife and share his most intimate feelings with her, it allows her to see the love her husband has for her. Television and the internet have greatly corrupted the minds of the Christian family and have interrupted their fellowship as husband and wife with the Lord. A fulfilled marriage for a man and woman is finding the will of God for their lives according to God's principle values of marriage.
A healthy sex life is a sign of a healthy marriage. I knew that my marriage was in trouble when my then wife turned away from me and went to sleep. And even more troubling, I was glad. 3 weeks later, we separated and it was all over.
Sex usually goes down the drain when the truth of the matter in the post above yours, is ignored.

I truly believe this love your enemy.. to forgive ..we go as far as we can then He takes over. That love comes from Him not us. So It try to always live treat her not expecting anything. Not why I married her. I never tell her how she should be treating me. no no what God looks at is how am I treating her.
Right. Why does the Bible tell husbands to love their wives after all. rhetorical question
 

Gideon300

Well-known member
Mar 18, 2021
4,894
2,833
113
#6
Biblically sound but causes a whole lot of argument in here. I don't know why. Dont be surprised at some of the answers you get.
I'm rarely surprised. I'm 71, and I've seen and heard a lot.
 

Gideon300

Well-known member
Mar 18, 2021
4,894
2,833
113
#7
Sex usually goes down the drain when the truth of the matter in the post above yours, is ignored.

Many women come into marriage with hang ups about sex. They have had bad experiences or bad counseling. Or both. Many men have little idea how to treat a woman right. That includes the bedroom. Paul says not to deny one another for a reason. Someone satisfied at home is not going look somewhere else. It should be considered as a normal part of a loving relationship, not as a duty to be performed.

Right. Why does the Bible tell husbands to love their wives after all. rhetorical question
 

presidente

Senior Member
May 29, 2013
9,082
1,749
113
#8
Here are some reasons behind the prevalence of divorce in our culture and in our churches:

- Lack of the fear of the Lord
- Not understanding and believing what God expects of them in marriage
- No 'social sanctioning' against divorce, even in churches
- Wives not submitting to husbands
- Husbands not properly loving their wives
- Lack of forgiveness
- One party not rendering proper 'due benevolence' to meet the other's sexual needs
- Fornication before marriage
- Adultery after marriage
- A failure on the part of churches to exercise church discipline, allowing leaven to spread in this area

When churches got lax about divorce, look what happened to the world. It went from considering fornication to be normal to promoting same-sex sexual relationships, now so-called 'gay marriage', and the trans agenda. We can't expect them to be more moral than us. If we lower the bar a bit, they end up in a deep pit.
 
P

Polar

Guest
#9
Many women come into marriage with hang ups about sex. They have had bad experiences or bad counseling. Or both. Many men have little idea how to treat a woman right. That includes the bedroom. Paul says not to deny one another for a reason. Someone satisfied at home is not going look somewhere else. It should be considered as a normal part of a loving relationship, not as a duty to be performed.
What's that about Gideon? You included it in a quote from me..I guess that was an error since I didn't post that

would you please make things clearer?
 

Gideon300

Well-known member
Mar 18, 2021
4,894
2,833
113
#10
What's that about Gideon? You included it in a quote from me..I guess that was an error since I didn't post that

would you please make things clearer?
I'll try, but not right now as I have to go out. I apologise for any confusion that I've caused. Perhaps I've responded to the wrong post.
 
P

Polar

Guest
#11
I'll try, but not right now as I have to go out. I apologise for any confusion that I've caused. Perhaps I've responded to the wrong post.

Oh that's fine. I just was not sure what you were saying.

Going out myself. :)
 
K

kaylagrl

Guest
#12
Here are some reasons behind the prevalence of divorce in our culture and in our churches:

- Lack of the fear of the Lord
- Not understanding and believing what God expects of them in marriage
- No 'social sanctioning' against divorce, even in churches
- Wives not submitting to husbands
- Husbands not properly loving their wives
- Lack of forgiveness
- One party not rendering proper 'due benevolence' to meet the other's sexual needs
- Fornication before marriage
- Adultery after marriage
- A failure on the part of churches to exercise church discipline, allowing leaven to spread in this area

When churches got lax about divorce, look what happened to the world. It went from considering fornication to be normal to promoting same-sex sexual relationships, now so-called 'gay marriage', and the trans agenda. We can't expect them to be more moral than us. If we lower the bar a bit, they end up in a deep pit.

Hate to sound old fashioned here but I think it had a lot to do with media pushing into the home and making a huge influence also. From tv to movies to magazines and now internet, I think all of that damaged marriages and families pushing liberal ideals.
 
P

Polar

Guest
#13
For the record: I did not post this nor do I wish to own it

Many women come into marriage with hang ups about sex. They have had bad experiences or bad counseling. Or both. Many men have little idea how to treat a woman right. That includes the bedroom. Paul says not to deny one another for a reason. Someone satisfied at home is not going look somewhere else. It should be considered as a normal part of a loving relationship, not as a duty to be performed.

Nope.
 

presidente

Senior Member
May 29, 2013
9,082
1,749
113
#14
For the record: I did not post this nor do I wish to own it

Many women come into marriage with hang ups about sex. They have had bad experiences or bad counseling. Or both. Many men have little idea how to treat a woman right. That includes the bedroom. Paul says not to deny one another for a reason. Someone satisfied at home is not going look somewhere else. It should be considered as a normal part of a loving relationship, not as a duty to be performed.

Nope.
Don't own what? And are you sayihng 'Nope' to your own post?
 

GaryA

Truth, Honesty, Love, Courage
Aug 10, 2019
9,075
3,965
113
mywebsite.us
#15
See how much confusion can occur because/when people don't handle quotes properly?
 

presidente

Senior Member
May 29, 2013
9,082
1,749
113
#17
The devil has corrupted the minds of most. Firstly, he degraded sex, especially through the teachings of Roman Catholicism. My mother was taught that sex was the original sin. Secondly, he devalues marriage and sex by the promotion of fornication.
I just looked up a Roman Catholic themed website that disagreed with the idea that sex was the original sin.

https://www.catholic.com/qa/was-having-sex-the-original-sin

I saw a movie about the scopes monkey trials that put words in the mouth of the William Jennings Bryan character having him say that or imply that sex was the original sin. I remember thinking that was a rather stupid interpretation of the Bible that actually contradicts the text. But the real William Jennings Bryan did not say that in the movie.
 

Gideon300

Well-known member
Mar 18, 2021
4,894
2,833
113
#18
I just looked up a Roman Catholic themed website that disagreed with the idea that sex was the original sin.

https://www.catholic.com/qa/was-having-sex-the-original-sin

I saw a movie about the scopes monkey trials that put words in the mouth of the William Jennings Bryan character having him say that or imply that sex was the original sin. I remember thinking that was a rather stupid interpretation of the Bible that actually contradicts the text. But the real William Jennings Bryan did not say that in the movie.
My mother was taught by nuns in a Catholic school. She and every other (female of course) student was told that sex was the original sin. Maybe that has now changed, but countless girls were brainwashed. Another false idea is that sex is only for procreation. That is not in the Bible, but that does not bother Rome.