Is it Biblically permissive to beat one's wife?

  • Christian Chat is a moderated online Christian community allowing Christians around the world to fellowship with each other in real time chat via webcam, voice, and text, with the Christian Chat app. You can also start or participate in a Bible-based discussion here in the Christian Chat Forums, where members can also share with each other their own videos, pictures, or favorite Christian music.

    If you are a Christian and need encouragement and fellowship, we're here for you! If you are not a Christian but interested in knowing more about Jesus our Lord, you're also welcome! Want to know what the Bible says, and how you can apply it to your life? Join us!

    To make new Christian friends now around the world, click here to join Christian Chat.

TheLearner

Well-known member
Jan 14, 2019
2,486
500
113
#41
Just to comment on the section in bold, if a parent has a temper and is an alcoholic and/or drug addict, a child should also not be physically punished. Do you think they are less likely to be injured or killed? As far as sane men not physically abusing themselves, I can’t remember which Christian resource it was but there was a suggestion to classically condition the eyes to avoid looking at tempting images. A rubber band would be worn on the wrist. Any time your eyes gazed upon female curves, or looked too long at a tempting picture, you would snap the band on the inside of the wrist. Pain is an effective tool for classic conditioning. The problem isn’t the catalyst (pain) to correct a behaviour. The problem is the one who is issuing the discipline. It should be administered by an authoritarian to correct a behaviour, not by a person to force authority. That’s what happens usually. The authority needs to be recognized primarily. If not, that’s when it escalates because it becomes a battle of wills and refusal to submit to another. All discipline is only effective if hierarchy is established and the rules are laid out and understood. Otherwise it is considered an attack conceptually.
That idea was first borrowed from AA long ago.

Job 31:1
I made a covenant with mine eyes; why then should I think upon a maid?

The covenant I made is to pray for their salvation.
 
Jul 19, 2021
30
17
8
#42
To be clear, my post wasn't intended to imply that the OP supports or condones beating one's wife. He explicitly stated that he doesn't agree with it. All I did was offer my thoughts on the matter. :cool:
I may be reading the OP in the wrong light. If so, forgive this.

They state in post #1 that their post is not meant to imply they support spousal abuse.
Then they proceed to post as if the scriptures they share imply wives should expect and concede to spousal abuse. When nothing of the sort is sustained by the scriptures in their posts.

This makes trying to understand their real point very confusing and difficult.

Or, maybe I'm just thick.:unsure:
Thank you for reading.
 

Hungry

Senior Member
Nov 26, 2012
2,903
923
113
#43
I may be reading the OP in the wrong light. If so, forgive this.

They state in post #1 that their post is not meant to imply they support spousal abuse.
Then they proceed to post as if the scriptures they share imply wives should expect and concede to spousal abuse. When nothing of the sort is sustained by the scriptures in their posts.

This makes trying to understand their real point very confusing and difficult.

Or, maybe I'm just thick.:unsure:
Thank you for reading.
Perhaps the controversy is in the wording. If someone said abusing a child is Biblical, they would be wrong. If they said physically punishing a child is Biblical they would be accurate. Nobody agrees that spousal abuse is acceptable. Correcting insubordination of a wife by physical means is what is in question.
 
Jul 19, 2021
30
17
8
#44
Perhaps the controversy is in the wording. If someone said abusing a child is Biblical, they would be wrong. If they said physically punishing a child is Biblical they would be accurate. Nobody agrees that spousal abuse is acceptable. Correcting insubordination of a wife by physical means is what is in question.
Now that I understand. And there certainly are questions.
Correcting insubordination of a wife by physical means?
What are some examples of those, physical means?
And what qualifies as insubordination by a wife?

Is the husband subject to those same points?
 

Hungry

Senior Member
Nov 26, 2012
2,903
923
113
#45
Now that I understand. And there certainly are questions.
Correcting insubordination of a wife by physical means?
What are some examples of those, physical means?
And what qualifies as insubordination by a wife?

Is the husband subject to those same points?
If the husband is in authority over the wife then willful defiance, disrespect and deceit would all be behaviours in need of correction. In this scenario, a spanking with or without an implement (paddle) would be considered the means of punishment. The “rule of thumb” is a term derived from this. A man was allowed to punish his slave, child or wife with a switch (stick) no thicker than his thumb…or so I’m told. I believe in natural consequence and self regulation concerning my wife. Either she desires to be adored or despised. It would be illegal to physically punish her regardless of what Scripture permits my actions.
 
Jul 19, 2021
30
17
8
#46
If the husband is in authority over the wife then willful defiance, disrespect and deceit would all be behaviours in need of correction. In this scenario, a spanking with or without an implement (paddle) would be considered the means of punishment. The “rule of thumb” is a term derived from this. A man was allowed to punish his slave, child or wife with a switch (stick) no thicker than his thumb…or so I’m told. I believe in natural consequence and self regulation concerning my wife. Either she desires to be adored or despised. It would be illegal to physically punish her regardless of what Scripture permits my actions.
While there are always those who could invoke Acts 5:29 to supplant that restriction were they so inclined.

Such a husband as that described should be concessionary to the same rule and correction as his wife, by his wife. Because in marriage the two become one.
 

Hungry

Senior Member
Nov 26, 2012
2,903
923
113
#47
While there are always those who could invoke Acts 5:29 to supplant that restriction were they so inclined.

Such a husband as that described should be concessionary to the same rule and correction as his wife, by his wife. Because in marriage the two become one.
Yes, I believe in circumstances where there is a hard decision to make the will of God supersedes the law of men. I do not think this is one of those circumstances.

As for the second part of your post, although the two become one, the two do not become the head. We are vines grafted into the Branch that is Christ. We become One with Christ as His Body, but we are not the Head of the Body. We do not discipline Christ and the wife does not discipline the husband. When my children were younger and they thought I was doing something my wife would disagree with, they would say, “I’m telling Mom and you’re going to be in trouble.” I corrected them by saying, “That’s impossible, I’m the boss. I can’t be ‘in trouble’. She can only give me grief.” …and that she does.
 

TheLearner

Well-known member
Jan 14, 2019
2,486
500
113
#48
If the husband is in authority over the wife then willful defiance, disrespect and deceit would all be behaviours in need of correction. In this scenario, a spanking with or without an implement (paddle) would be considered the means of punishment. The “rule of thumb” is a term derived from this. A man was allowed to punish his slave, child or wife with a switch (stick) no thicker than his thumb…or so I’m told. I believe in natural consequence and self regulation concerning my wife. Either she desires to be adored or despised. It would be illegal to physically punish her regardless of what Scripture permits my actions.
Where does it say in Scripture he can punish her with a stick?
 

TheLearner

Well-known member
Jan 14, 2019
2,486
500
113
#50
Yes, I believe in circumstances where there is a hard decision to make the will of God supersedes the law of men. I do not think this is one of those circumstances.

As for the second part of your post, although the two become one, the two do not become the head. We are vines grafted into the Branch that is Christ. We become One with Christ as His Body, but we are not the Head of the Body. We do not discipline Christ and the wife does not discipline the husband. When my children were younger and they thought I was doing something my wife would disagree with, they would say, “I’m telling Mom and you’re going to be in trouble.” I corrected them by saying, “That’s impossible, I’m the boss. I can’t be ‘in trouble’. She can only give me grief.” …and that she does.
 

TheLearner

Well-known member
Jan 14, 2019
2,486
500
113
#51
Mark 9:35
Easy-to-Read Version
35 Jesus sat down and called the twelve apostles to him. He said, “Whoever wants to be the most important must make others more important than themselves. They must serve everyone else.”

Beating your wife is not being a servant of God.
 

TheLearner

Well-known member
Jan 14, 2019
2,486
500
113
#52
1 Corinthians 4:1
Apostles of Christ Jesus
You should think of us as servants of Christ, the ones God has trusted to do the work of making known his secret truths.

2 Corinthians 6:6
We show that we are God’s servants by our pure lives, by our understanding, by our patience, and by our kindness. We show it by the Holy Spirit, by genuine love,

Philippians 2:7
Instead, he gave up everything, even his place with God. He accepted the role of a servant, appearing in human form. During his life as a man,

Colossians 4:1
Masters, give what is good and fair to your servants. Remember that you have a Master in heaven.

1 Timothy 3:12
The men who are special servants must be faithful in marriage. They must be good leaders of children and their own families.

2 Timothy 2:24
As a servant of the Lord, you must not argue. You must be kind to everyone. You must be a good teacher, and you must be patient.

Hebrews 3:5
Moses was faithful as a servant in God’s whole house. He told people what God would say in the future.

1 Peter 4:10
God has shown you his grace in many different ways. So be good servants and use whatever gift he has given you in a way that will best serve each other.

If you want to be the head of something learn to be a servant first. Not an abuser.
 

TheLearner

Well-known member
Jan 14, 2019
2,486
500
113
#55
Someone said to spank with a branch about the size of a stick or something like that.

What made me lose my cookies was "When my children were younger and they thought I was doing something my wife would disagree with, they would say, “I’m telling Mom and you’re going to be in trouble.” I corrected them by saying, “That’s impossible, I’m the boss. I can’t be ‘in trouble’. She can only give me grief.” …and that she does. "

I apologize for thinking you were the one who says to use a stick.
 

TheLearner

Well-known member
Jan 14, 2019
2,486
500
113
#56
To the person who said, it is ok to beat your wife with a stick. Please respond.

Where does it say in Scripture he can punish her with a stick?
 
Mar 13, 2014
34,933
12,524
113
66
Tennessee
#59
To the person who said, it is ok to beat your wife with a stick. Please respond.

Where does it say in Scripture he can punish her with a stick?
You should speak softly but carry a big stick. Read that somewhere not that I agree with that statement. Oh yeah, that was Teddy Roosevelt.
 

Hungry

Senior Member
Nov 26, 2012
2,903
923
113
#60
To the person who said, it is ok to beat your wife with a stick. Please respond.

Where does it say in Scripture he can punish her with a stick?
If you are referring to the rule of thumb, it’s not Scriptural nor did I recommend it in the least. That was a law in America. Anyways Exodus 21:20-21 clearly states my that it is permissible to beat a slave with a rod, nearly to death. If he or she is fine after a day or two it’s acceptable because you own them. You were the one who brought up that wives should tolerate buffeting as a slave. Clearly you weren’t ok with it, nor am I. I was stating what has been acceptable since the wilderness up until recent history.