Is self harm a sin?
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the Truth is, we are 'bought with a price' =
1COR. 6:20.
For you are bought with a Price: therefore glorify God in your body, and in your spirit, which are God's.
ROMANS 14:1.
'Him that is weak in the Faith receive you, but not to doubtful disputations'. -
we have to realize the 'over-all-Truth, we do NO BELONG to OURSELVES... =
we ARE the 'servants of God', BUT we ARE to 'help and have compassion on
those who are 'weak in the Faith'...
GAL. 6:1.
Brethren, if a man be overtaken in a fault, you which are Spiritual, restore such an one in the spirit of meekness;
considering yourself, lest you also be tempted.
the point is: you yourself may not be tempted to harm yourself physically, but you may be 'tempted'
in another area, therefore, "Love on another as God has Loved you'...
1COR. 6:20.
For you are bought with a Price: therefore glorify God in your body, and in your spirit, which are God's.
ROMANS 14:1.
'Him that is weak in the Faith receive you, but not to doubtful disputations'. -
we have to realize the 'over-all-Truth, we do NO BELONG to OURSELVES... =
we ARE the 'servants of God', BUT we ARE to 'help and have compassion on
those who are 'weak in the Faith'...
GAL. 6:1.
Brethren, if a man be overtaken in a fault, you which are Spiritual, restore such an one in the spirit of meekness;
considering yourself, lest you also be tempted.
the point is: you yourself may not be tempted to harm yourself physically, but you may be 'tempted'
in another area, therefore, "Love on another as God has Loved you'...
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Hello Mauricia welcome to cc
Honestly this is a good question and your already a step ahead of me. When I tried to commit suicide even though I was a Christian I didn't hesitate I didn't even consider if it was a sin or not.
I mean I was afraid I would go straight to hell but I still didn't hesitate. Even now sometimes I still get these thoughts sadly it tends to come with depression but don't ever act on them.
It is not uncommon to have such thoughts even if you don't have depression but the thought itself is not the sin it is acting on it.
Also if you ever need to talk about anything no matter how big or small you can always message me, I know what your going through and if I can help at all I want to
Honestly this is a good question and your already a step ahead of me. When I tried to commit suicide even though I was a Christian I didn't hesitate I didn't even consider if it was a sin or not.I mean I was afraid I would go straight to hell but I still didn't hesitate. Even now sometimes I still get these thoughts sadly it tends to come with depression but don't ever act on them.
It is not uncommon to have such thoughts even if you don't have depression but the thought itself is not the sin it is acting on it.
Also if you ever need to talk about anything no matter how big or small you can always message me, I know what your going through and if I can help at all I want to
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Forgive me if I don't understand properly here, but I'm wondering why you would want to harm yourself when Jesus paid the price for you and all punishment fell on Him...
Also, I have had a lot of depression ... and I've noticed that, some time later I have been in situations where I have helped someone, or even led another to the Lord to be saved eternally from Hell... and I have thought to myself, if I had taken my own life I would not have been here for that other person, and would have missed very important purposes the Lord had planned for my life... so it's important we trust Him through the darkest times... and endure... because we have an enemy who comes to steal, kill and destroy... he is a liar., and the negative thoughts in our minds are fiery darts which we can only put out by holding up the shield of faith and by trusting in Him.
I hope I have helped.
Sent with love 🦋
Also, I have had a lot of depression ... and I've noticed that, some time later I have been in situations where I have helped someone, or even led another to the Lord to be saved eternally from Hell... and I have thought to myself, if I had taken my own life I would not have been here for that other person, and would have missed very important purposes the Lord had planned for my life... so it's important we trust Him through the darkest times... and endure... because we have an enemy who comes to steal, kill and destroy... he is a liar., and the negative thoughts in our minds are fiery darts which we can only put out by holding up the shield of faith and by trusting in Him.
I hope I have helped.
Sent with love 🦋
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It was only a couple of weeks after I was saved and I was not exactly close to God at the time andalthough I was saved my severe depression issues didn't go away and my family had just given me a horrible horrible time that day they can be a bit toxic.
But I thank God for my depression because while it may be a heavy burden to carry God has used it to help many others.
When you know what another person is going through you can understand and help them in ways no one else can because they themselves have not gone through it. And so God used me to help others with the same issues. A wise women once said I give you the gift of your flaws
But I thank God for my depression because while it may be a heavy burden to carry God has used it to help many others.
When you know what another person is going through you can understand and help them in ways no one else can because they themselves have not gone through it. And so God used me to help others with the same issues. A wise women once said I give you the gift of your flaws
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Ok what on earth is your issue? a pathetic arse? for your information Crossnote is a very well and respected member who has done more of his fair share of helping others and being in debates here in cc and what you just said here along with your other snide remarks is uncalled for unchristlike and simply put childish.
I would appreciate it if you apologized for your behavior and if you continue on your way of acting I will report you
I would appreciate it if you apologized for your behavior and if you continue on your way of acting I will report you
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G
* NOTE: I'm jumping back up here at the top of my comment to apologize for the length and wordiness.....
I just started to answer this thread with a quick response, and then this flowed out........
about 20(ish) years ago I hit rock bottom, or at least what felt like rock bottom to a girl in her mid teens.
I was molested at 5/6 years old by a male family member, and to be honest, I don't think it affected me negatively very much (at that point of time) . In my mind I really didn't know or understand anything about it, just that this person had done something bad to me. I was still so innocent and naive and well, life would go on. HOWEVER, I was dragged into counseling ( AND PLEASE NOTE I AM IN NO WAY SAYING THERE IS ANYTHING WRONG WITH COUNSELING this is just my very open, very personal memories and reflections of a very young child and how MY life was affected. ). Personal counseling and family counseling. And I can remember shrugging things off at that age as no big deal because I was still very innocent and naive, and I didn't do anything wrong, it was someone else who did a bad thing and life would just go on. But a young child having this reasoning wasn't good enough (or maybe just not understood) by all the adults with power in my life (my mom....{dad never really reacted to ANYTHING} teachers and counselors) , so into the counseling week after week I went. This went on FOR YEARS...... well, I think until I was about 8 or 9.
The thing is, I was made to think and feel that there MUST BE SOMETHING wrong with me. I didn't feel that way at all! BUT, I wasn't conforming and fitting into the mold, into the "damaged goods" box that all the adults in my life were trying to squeeze me into. And THAT began chipping away at me (though I didn't realize it then).
It also didn't help that I was bullied and harassed at school as long as I could remember. One of the counseling places we went to for a while was over an hour away, so every week for almost a year, I was being pulled from school 45 minutes early so we could make the afternoon (family) appointments AND once a week coming to school almost an hour late due to (personal) morning appointments. This did not help with the bullying AT ALL. In fact, the "help" I was given was "oh just let it go" "sticks and stones blah blah blah" "you're rubber and they're glue blah blah blah" "just ignore them" and from the religious crowd at church it was things like " Jesus went through much worse" ( I CAN NOT begin to tell you how detrimental that comment or anything like it is to a child!!!! Or to anyone, really, but especially to a child...... there is NO FRUIT in comments like that.......)
Kids were really mean to me, and missing so much school over this didn't help. It also didn't help that by missing all that school I was beginning to struggle with school. Work was becoming more difficult and I wasn't there to learn it.
NOW, middle school was FINALLY here, and pop my bubble!
It was NOTHING like I ever dreamed or imagined ( thanks tv sitcoms for painting unrealistic pictures......)
I started middle school with no friends, most of the kids were from elementary school and already knew me as the harassed by everyone (or what seemed like everyone), nerdy (before nerds were"cool") outcast. Classes became extremely difficult for me, teachers didn't take extra time to help (you should have paid attention when it was being taught you know because all teens who don't understand MUST BE goofing off during the lesson, simply needing a few extra explanations before it clicks couldn't possibly be a legit reason- sorry for the sarcasm here, but that's what it was like for me) I wanted to try out for SOMETHING almost anything would do for me, even though I wasn't to into sports at that time, I would've settled for them, or drama club or ANYTHING, but my parents always said "no" .........
One day I came out of my room and decided I was going to do some chores around the house for my mom (without being asked) and got busy. For some reason, it wasn't working out. I really don't recall what it was I was doing or what it was that happened but it wasn't working out, and I felt like it was my fault and it just made me SNAP!!!! I went back into my room and even though it had never been an issue, I had NEVER given ANY thought to self harm, I reacted to the stress by trying to hang myself. GUESS WHAT!? I don't think I have to say this but, it OBVIOUSLY didn't work the items I had tried to use were in no way anywhere close to being able to support my weight. And when it didn't work, I was at rock bottom. I couldn't do anything in my life right, not even (attempting) suicide........
My mom thought she heard me call for her and came to my room (I didn't) and when she started to leave I broke down because on top of everything else that was wrong in my life, ( in my twisted, tormented mind) she didn't care that I had just tried killing myself!!!! I was bawling " YOU DON'T LOVE ME!!!! NO ONE LOVES ME!!!" Well now she's showing concern and "yes honey, I do......"
"NO YOU DON'T!!! YOU DON'T EVEN CARE I JUST TRIED TO KILL MYSELF!!!!!" SHOCK to her, because like I said the items I tried to use were no where near being able to support my weight, in fact they were so small and unnoticeable that that is just what happened, she hadn't even noticed them on the floor (because they fell from the ceiling and were on the floor, the messy, needed to be cleaned up floor). Well, we got help, and shortly after this happened it was the summer trip for my churches youth group, and that was an AWESOME, LIFE CHANGING, trip (another story, for another thread, for another time).......
fast forward 20ish years to now.......
here I am typing away to complete strangers all around the world, a very raw and personal story......
Wife to one of the most wonderful servants of the Lord I have ever known,
Mama Bear to some pretty awesome little cubs......
Sharing the hope that is in Jesus at a time in history where people really need that hope......
NONE of this would be happening if Satan had been successful in convincing me to end life way back then.......
@Mauricia ,
to answer your question, "is self harm a sin"? The very fact that the question is keeping you from doing so tells me that you, deep down think and feel it is. But more so, it tells me that deep down, you really don't want to do it.
It was well said above,
That's from the Bible, Jesus speaking in John 10:10, BUT it doesn't stop there!!!!
Jesus goes on to say " I have come that they may have life, and have it in all its fullness. "
There's so many good things He wants to give you!!!
The things you're going through are temporary. I know it doesn't seem that way right now.
But Gods love, and life with Jesus is eternal!!!! (if you acknowledge Jesus, and ask Him into your life- He is a gentleman He'll never force someone to receive Him).
If you ever want to talk about things in more detail privately let me know. I am willing to start a private message with you
I just started to answer this thread with a quick response, and then this flowed out........
about 20(ish) years ago I hit rock bottom, or at least what felt like rock bottom to a girl in her mid teens.
I was molested at 5/6 years old by a male family member, and to be honest, I don't think it affected me negatively very much (at that point of time) . In my mind I really didn't know or understand anything about it, just that this person had done something bad to me. I was still so innocent and naive and well, life would go on. HOWEVER, I was dragged into counseling ( AND PLEASE NOTE I AM IN NO WAY SAYING THERE IS ANYTHING WRONG WITH COUNSELING this is just my very open, very personal memories and reflections of a very young child and how MY life was affected. ). Personal counseling and family counseling. And I can remember shrugging things off at that age as no big deal because I was still very innocent and naive, and I didn't do anything wrong, it was someone else who did a bad thing and life would just go on. But a young child having this reasoning wasn't good enough (or maybe just not understood) by all the adults with power in my life (my mom....{dad never really reacted to ANYTHING} teachers and counselors) , so into the counseling week after week I went. This went on FOR YEARS...... well, I think until I was about 8 or 9.
The thing is, I was made to think and feel that there MUST BE SOMETHING wrong with me. I didn't feel that way at all! BUT, I wasn't conforming and fitting into the mold, into the "damaged goods" box that all the adults in my life were trying to squeeze me into. And THAT began chipping away at me (though I didn't realize it then).
It also didn't help that I was bullied and harassed at school as long as I could remember. One of the counseling places we went to for a while was over an hour away, so every week for almost a year, I was being pulled from school 45 minutes early so we could make the afternoon (family) appointments AND once a week coming to school almost an hour late due to (personal) morning appointments. This did not help with the bullying AT ALL. In fact, the "help" I was given was "oh just let it go" "sticks and stones blah blah blah" "you're rubber and they're glue blah blah blah" "just ignore them" and from the religious crowd at church it was things like " Jesus went through much worse" ( I CAN NOT begin to tell you how detrimental that comment or anything like it is to a child!!!! Or to anyone, really, but especially to a child...... there is NO FRUIT in comments like that.......)
Kids were really mean to me, and missing so much school over this didn't help. It also didn't help that by missing all that school I was beginning to struggle with school. Work was becoming more difficult and I wasn't there to learn it.
NOW, middle school was FINALLY here, and pop my bubble!
thanks tv sitcoms for painting unrealistic pictures......)I started middle school with no friends, most of the kids were from elementary school and already knew me as the harassed by everyone (or what seemed like everyone), nerdy (before nerds were"cool") outcast. Classes became extremely difficult for me, teachers didn't take extra time to help (you should have paid attention when it was being taught
you know because all teens who don't understand MUST BE goofing off during the lesson, simply needing a few extra explanations before it clicks couldn't possibly be a legit reason- sorry for the sarcasm here, but that's what it was like for me) I wanted to try out for SOMETHING almost anything would do for me, even though I wasn't to into sports at that time, I would've settled for them, or drama club or ANYTHING, but my parents always said "no" .........One day I came out of my room and decided I was going to do some chores around the house for my mom (without being asked) and got busy. For some reason, it wasn't working out. I really don't recall what it was I was doing or what it was that happened but it wasn't working out, and I felt like it was my fault and it just made me SNAP!!!! I went back into my room and even though it had never been an issue, I had NEVER given ANY thought to self harm, I reacted to the stress by trying to hang myself. GUESS WHAT!? I don't think I have to say this but, it OBVIOUSLY didn't work
the items I had tried to use were in no way anywhere close to being able to support my weight. And when it didn't work, I was at rock bottom. I couldn't do anything in my life right, not even (attempting) suicide........My mom thought she heard me call for her and came to my room (I didn't) and when she started to leave I broke down because on top of everything else that was wrong in my life, ( in my twisted, tormented mind) she didn't care that I had just tried killing myself!!!! I was bawling " YOU DON'T LOVE ME!!!! NO ONE LOVES ME!!!" Well now she's showing concern and "yes honey, I do......"
"NO YOU DON'T!!! YOU DON'T EVEN CARE I JUST TRIED TO KILL MYSELF!!!!!" SHOCK to her, because like I said the items I tried to use were no where near being able to support my weight, in fact they were so small and unnoticeable that that is just what happened, she hadn't even noticed them on the floor (because they fell from the ceiling and were on the floor, the messy, needed to be cleaned up floor). Well, we got help, and shortly after this happened it was the summer trip for my churches youth group, and that was an AWESOME, LIFE CHANGING, trip
(another story, for another thread, for another time).......fast forward 20ish years to now.......
here I am typing away to complete strangers all around the world, a very raw and personal story......
Wife to one of the most wonderful servants of the Lord I have ever known,
Mama Bear to some pretty awesome little cubs......
Sharing the hope that is in Jesus at a time in history where people really need that hope......
NONE of this would be happening if Satan had been successful in convincing me to end life way back then.......
@Mauricia ,
to answer your question, "is self harm a sin"? The very fact that the question is keeping you from doing so tells me that you, deep down think and feel it is. But more so, it tells me that deep down, you really don't want to do it.
It was well said above,
That's from the Bible, Jesus speaking in John 10:10, BUT it doesn't stop there!!!!
Jesus goes on to say " I have come that they may have life, and have it in all its fullness. "
There's so many good things He wants to give you!!!
The things you're going through are temporary. I know it doesn't seem that way right now.
But Gods love, and life with Jesus is eternal!!!! (if you acknowledge Jesus, and ask Him into your life- He is a gentleman
He'll never force someone to receive Him). If you ever want to talk about things in more detail privately let me know. I am willing to start a private message with you
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Don't be worried about whether or not harming yourself is worse than any another sin. Every sin under the sun is forgivable except for blasphemy against the holy spirit. God won't condemn you or single you out for having thoughts of self harm. Jesus would be the first one to feel your plain and show love compassion. He knows why you want to harm yourself and believe me, hes MUCH more concerned with healing your pain then condemning you acting out of pain.
It is written in the bible, " He heals the broken hearted and heals their wounds", and "He bore our griefs and carried our sorrows". When Jesus was walking on earth, he reached out to the sinners that no one wanted anything to do with. He hang out with the tax collectors { they were considered scum because they collected taxes for Rome and took a cut for themselves] He healed the sick and crippled [ people of the day thought sickness was a result of sin or their parents sin and looked down on the them}. He healed the leppars and even though they were considered unclean. He had compassion for the poor and needy and the widows. He had a heart for the vulnerable. He stood in defense for the woman caught in adultery, even though it was against his own laws to commit that act. In that case, he showed an act of mercy towards someone who didn't deserve it.
The religious leaders of the day would often find fault with Jesus for doing such things or for doing them on the sabbath. Jesus replied by pointing out their hypocrisy and their hard hearts. When being accused of associating with sinners, Jesus replied " Those who are sick need a doctor". In short, God is much more concerned with your heart and whats going on inside you than outward acts. I've noticed people posted up a verse about being the temple of the holy spirit. That verse is referring to sexual immorality, not harming yourself physically.
My advice to you is, instead of worrying about whether or it's its a sin to self harm, instead surrender to Jesus and give him your pain and let him heal you. I've found that once you experience God's love, it dose heal emotional pain. I've struggled with depression too. It can help to meditate of scriptures or to listen to encouraging sermons. I find Joseph Prince very good. Joyce Myer and Joel Osteen are also quite encouraging and practical. Don't worry about those who say they're false teachers because what you need is revelation on Gods love, not sermons that make you feel condemned. You've already going through too much of that. Seek professional help if you feel you need to, theres no shame in that. I hope that helps.
It is written in the bible, " He heals the broken hearted and heals their wounds", and "He bore our griefs and carried our sorrows". When Jesus was walking on earth, he reached out to the sinners that no one wanted anything to do with. He hang out with the tax collectors { they were considered scum because they collected taxes for Rome and took a cut for themselves] He healed the sick and crippled [ people of the day thought sickness was a result of sin or their parents sin and looked down on the them}. He healed the leppars and even though they were considered unclean. He had compassion for the poor and needy and the widows. He had a heart for the vulnerable. He stood in defense for the woman caught in adultery, even though it was against his own laws to commit that act. In that case, he showed an act of mercy towards someone who didn't deserve it.
The religious leaders of the day would often find fault with Jesus for doing such things or for doing them on the sabbath. Jesus replied by pointing out their hypocrisy and their hard hearts. When being accused of associating with sinners, Jesus replied " Those who are sick need a doctor". In short, God is much more concerned with your heart and whats going on inside you than outward acts. I've noticed people posted up a verse about being the temple of the holy spirit. That verse is referring to sexual immorality, not harming yourself physically.
My advice to you is, instead of worrying about whether or it's its a sin to self harm, instead surrender to Jesus and give him your pain and let him heal you. I've found that once you experience God's love, it dose heal emotional pain. I've struggled with depression too. It can help to meditate of scriptures or to listen to encouraging sermons. I find Joseph Prince very good. Joyce Myer and Joel Osteen are also quite encouraging and practical. Don't worry about those who say they're false teachers because what you need is revelation on Gods love, not sermons that make you feel condemned. You've already going through too much of that. Seek professional help if you feel you need to, theres no shame in that. I hope that helps.
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Here is Scripture saying that self-harm is a sin:
I Corinthians 6
18 Avoid immorality. Any other sin a man commits does not affect his body; but the man who is guilty of sexual immorality sins against his own body. 19 Don't you know that your body is the temple of the Holy Spirit, who lives in you and who was given to you by God? You do not belong to yourselves but to God; 20 he bought you for a price. So use your bodies for God's glory.
Yes, I realize that passage is talking about sexual immorality. And no, that does not change the end result. This says that sinning against yourself IS a sin, and it says why.
I Corinthians 6
18 Avoid immorality. Any other sin a man commits does not affect his body; but the man who is guilty of sexual immorality sins against his own body. 19 Don't you know that your body is the temple of the Holy Spirit, who lives in you and who was given to you by God? You do not belong to yourselves but to God; 20 he bought you for a price. So use your bodies for God's glory.
Yes, I realize that passage is talking about sexual immorality. And no, that does not change the end result. This says that sinning against yourself IS a sin, and it says why.
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Do not put another stone on the burden you are carrying. You are in pain. Picture if you had a child in pain. If they came to you and said, "I hurt so much and hate myself and feel like I deserve more pain", could you imagine saying, "Well if you do that then it just proves that you are worthless"? Only the worst of monsters, the most evil of creatures could respond in that way. It is hard sometimes to believe we are loved and we fight God saying we don't deserve it. In truth we are not given love based on us, but on who he is. He loves you. You are struggling in the midst of pain. He hurts for you. He made the beautiful, soft, gentle, natural, life giving things. He gave us colour and music and sunlight and the ocean. Think of the type of being you would have to be to create such wonders. You are one of those wonders. He just wants to hold you and heal you and have you hold on to that love, and if you can't hold on don't worry. He's got you.
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To the OP:
Please see doctor immediately. There is so much that can be done to help you. If you can't see a doctor right now, start exercising, eat food in a more natural form, like fresh fruit and veggies, and whole wheat products for bread and pasta.
I think you need counselling and medication, the sooner the better. I know someone who is chronically depressed. He never saw a doctor about it till 15 years ago. He's been depressed since his father died in an avalanche that he also was in. But he survived at age 15. That was 30 years before he went on medication, which means he will never recover. If you get help right away, you should recover.
Rather than worrying about whether suicide is a sin, start setting some goals and find ways to achieve those goals. It seems to me that suicidal tendencies are not reasons to kill yourself. I am also Sure you are in a lot of emotional pain, which is why you are willing to take this risk.
For me, it was a miracle that I made it through my teen years. But now, looking back, I would have given up such a wonderful life if I had killed myself back then. Instead, I've been happily married for 40 years. We have 4 children, all with good jobs, homes and spouses, and our 6 grandkids. I would have not had the joys of studying, and getting degrees, and even the difficulties of a serious physical ailment. which has helped me grow as a Christian. I will pray that God willl touch you and you will know his love, and his power.
As for the answer to your question, we do not go to hell because of our sin. We will not be with Jesus if we have not been born from above. God saves us, not our own self righteousness in keeping the law!
Please see doctor immediately. There is so much that can be done to help you. If you can't see a doctor right now, start exercising, eat food in a more natural form, like fresh fruit and veggies, and whole wheat products for bread and pasta.
I think you need counselling and medication, the sooner the better. I know someone who is chronically depressed. He never saw a doctor about it till 15 years ago. He's been depressed since his father died in an avalanche that he also was in. But he survived at age 15. That was 30 years before he went on medication, which means he will never recover. If you get help right away, you should recover.
Rather than worrying about whether suicide is a sin, start setting some goals and find ways to achieve those goals. It seems to me that suicidal tendencies are not reasons to kill yourself. I am also Sure you are in a lot of emotional pain, which is why you are willing to take this risk.
For me, it was a miracle that I made it through my teen years. But now, looking back, I would have given up such a wonderful life if I had killed myself back then. Instead, I've been happily married for 40 years. We have 4 children, all with good jobs, homes and spouses, and our 6 grandkids. I would have not had the joys of studying, and getting degrees, and even the difficulties of a serious physical ailment. which has helped me grow as a Christian. I will pray that God willl touch you and you will know his love, and his power.
As for the answer to your question, we do not go to hell because of our sin. We will not be with Jesus if we have not been born from above. God saves us, not our own self righteousness in keeping the law!
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* NOTE: I'm jumping back up here at the top of my comment to apologize for the length and wordiness.....
I just started to answer this thread with a quick response, and then this flowed out........
about 20(ish) years ago I hit rock bottom, or at least what felt like rock bottom to a girl in her mid teens.
I was molested at 5/6 years old by a male family member, and to be honest, I don't think it affected me negatively very much (at that point of time) . In my mind I really didn't know or understand anything about it, just that this person had done something bad to me. I was still so innocent and naive and well, life would go on. HOWEVER, I was dragged into counseling ( AND PLEASE NOTE I AM IN NO WAY SAYING THERE IS ANYTHING WRONG WITH COUNSELING this is just my very open, very personal memories and reflections of a very young child and how MY life was affected. ). Personal counseling and family counseling. And I can remember shrugging things off at that age as no big deal because I was still very innocent and naive, and I didn't do anything wrong, it was someone else who did a bad thing and life would just go on. But a young child having this reasoning wasn't good enough (or maybe just not understood) by all the adults with power in my life (my mom....{dad never really reacted to ANYTHING} teachers and counselors) , so into the counseling week after week I went. This went on FOR YEARS...... well, I think until I was about 8 or 9.
The thing is, I was made to think and feel that there MUST BE SOMETHING wrong with me. I didn't feel that way at all! BUT, I wasn't conforming and fitting into the mold, into the "damaged goods" box that all the adults in my life were trying to squeeze me into. And THAT began chipping away at me (though I didn't realize it then).
It also didn't help that I was bullied and harassed at school as long as I could remember. One of the counseling places we went to for a while was over an hour away, so every week for almost a year, I was being pulled from school 45 minutes early so we could make the afternoon (family) appointments AND once a week coming to school almost an hour late due to (personal) morning appointments. This did not help with the bullying AT ALL. In fact, the "help" I was given was "oh just let it go" "sticks and stones blah blah blah" "you're rubber and they're glue blah blah blah" "just ignore them" and from the religious crowd at church it was things like " Jesus went through much worse" ( I CAN NOT begin to tell you how detrimental that comment or anything like it is to a child!!!! Or to anyone, really, but especially to a child...... there is NO FRUIT in comments like that.......)
Kids were really mean to me, and missing so much school over this didn't help. It also didn't help that by missing all that school I was beginning to struggle with school. Work was becoming more difficult and I wasn't there to learn it.
NOW, middle school was FINALLY here, and pop my bubble!
It was NOTHING like I ever dreamed or imagined ( thanks tv sitcoms for painting unrealistic pictures......)
I started middle school with no friends, most of the kids were from elementary school and already knew me as the harassed by everyone (or what seemed like everyone), nerdy (before nerds were"cool") outcast. Classes became extremely difficult for me, teachers didn't take extra time to help (you should have paid attention when it was being taught you know because all teens who don't understand MUST BE goofing off during the lesson, simply needing a few extra explanations before it clicks couldn't possibly be a legit reason- sorry for the sarcasm here, but that's what it was like for me) I wanted to try out for SOMETHING almost anything would do for me, even though I wasn't to into sports at that time, I would've settled for them, or drama club or ANYTHING, but my parents always said "no" .........
One day I came out of my room and decided I was going to do some chores around the house for my mom (without being asked) and got busy. For some reason, it wasn't working out. I really don't recall what it was I was doing or what it was that happened but it wasn't working out, and I felt like it was my fault and it just made me SNAP!!!! I went back into my room and even though it had never been an issue, I had NEVER given ANY thought to self harm, I reacted to the stress by trying to hang myself. GUESS WHAT!? I don't think I have to say this but, it OBVIOUSLY didn't work the items I had tried to use were in no way anywhere close to being able to support my weight. And when it didn't work, I was at rock bottom. I couldn't do anything in my life right, not even (attempting) suicide........
My mom thought she heard me call for her and came to my room (I didn't) and when she started to leave I broke down because on top of everything else that was wrong in my life, ( in my twisted, tormented mind) she didn't care that I had just tried killing myself!!!! I was bawling " YOU DON'T LOVE ME!!!! NO ONE LOVES ME!!!" Well now she's showing concern and "yes honey, I do......"
"NO YOU DON'T!!! YOU DON'T EVEN CARE I JUST TRIED TO KILL MYSELF!!!!!" SHOCK to her, because like I said the items I tried to use were no where near being able to support my weight, in fact they were so small and unnoticeable that that is just what happened, she hadn't even noticed them on the floor (because they fell from the ceiling and were on the floor, the messy, needed to be cleaned up floor). Well, we got help, and shortly after this happened it was the summer trip for my churches youth group, and that was an AWESOME, LIFE CHANGING, trip (another story, for another thread, for another time).......
fast forward 20ish years to now.......
here I am typing away to complete strangers all around the world, a very raw and personal story......
Wife to one of the most wonderful servants of the Lord I have ever known,
Mama Bear to some pretty awesome little cubs......
Sharing the hope that is in Jesus at a time in history where people really need that hope......
NONE of this would be happening if Satan had been successful in convincing me to end life way back then.......
@Mauricia ,
to answer your question, "is self harm a sin"? The very fact that the question is keeping you from doing so tells me that you, deep down think and feel it is. But more so, it tells me that deep down, you really don't want to do it.
It was well said above,
That's from the Bible, Jesus speaking in John 10:10, BUT it doesn't stop there!!!!
Jesus goes on to say " I have come that they may have life, and have it in all its fullness. "
There's so many good things He wants to give you!!!
The things you're going through are temporary. I know it doesn't seem that way right now.
But Gods love, and life with Jesus is eternal!!!! (if you acknowledge Jesus, and ask Him into your life- He is a gentleman He'll never force someone to receive Him).
If you ever want to talk about things in more detail privately let me know. I am willing to start a private message with you
I just started to answer this thread with a quick response, and then this flowed out........
about 20(ish) years ago I hit rock bottom, or at least what felt like rock bottom to a girl in her mid teens.
I was molested at 5/6 years old by a male family member, and to be honest, I don't think it affected me negatively very much (at that point of time) . In my mind I really didn't know or understand anything about it, just that this person had done something bad to me. I was still so innocent and naive and well, life would go on. HOWEVER, I was dragged into counseling ( AND PLEASE NOTE I AM IN NO WAY SAYING THERE IS ANYTHING WRONG WITH COUNSELING this is just my very open, very personal memories and reflections of a very young child and how MY life was affected. ). Personal counseling and family counseling. And I can remember shrugging things off at that age as no big deal because I was still very innocent and naive, and I didn't do anything wrong, it was someone else who did a bad thing and life would just go on. But a young child having this reasoning wasn't good enough (or maybe just not understood) by all the adults with power in my life (my mom....{dad never really reacted to ANYTHING} teachers and counselors) , so into the counseling week after week I went. This went on FOR YEARS...... well, I think until I was about 8 or 9.
The thing is, I was made to think and feel that there MUST BE SOMETHING wrong with me. I didn't feel that way at all! BUT, I wasn't conforming and fitting into the mold, into the "damaged goods" box that all the adults in my life were trying to squeeze me into. And THAT began chipping away at me (though I didn't realize it then).
It also didn't help that I was bullied and harassed at school as long as I could remember. One of the counseling places we went to for a while was over an hour away, so every week for almost a year, I was being pulled from school 45 minutes early so we could make the afternoon (family) appointments AND once a week coming to school almost an hour late due to (personal) morning appointments. This did not help with the bullying AT ALL. In fact, the "help" I was given was "oh just let it go" "sticks and stones blah blah blah" "you're rubber and they're glue blah blah blah" "just ignore them" and from the religious crowd at church it was things like " Jesus went through much worse" ( I CAN NOT begin to tell you how detrimental that comment or anything like it is to a child!!!! Or to anyone, really, but especially to a child...... there is NO FRUIT in comments like that.......)
Kids were really mean to me, and missing so much school over this didn't help. It also didn't help that by missing all that school I was beginning to struggle with school. Work was becoming more difficult and I wasn't there to learn it.
NOW, middle school was FINALLY here, and pop my bubble!
thanks tv sitcoms for painting unrealistic pictures......)I started middle school with no friends, most of the kids were from elementary school and already knew me as the harassed by everyone (or what seemed like everyone), nerdy (before nerds were"cool") outcast. Classes became extremely difficult for me, teachers didn't take extra time to help (you should have paid attention when it was being taught
you know because all teens who don't understand MUST BE goofing off during the lesson, simply needing a few extra explanations before it clicks couldn't possibly be a legit reason- sorry for the sarcasm here, but that's what it was like for me) I wanted to try out for SOMETHING almost anything would do for me, even though I wasn't to into sports at that time, I would've settled for them, or drama club or ANYTHING, but my parents always said "no" .........One day I came out of my room and decided I was going to do some chores around the house for my mom (without being asked) and got busy. For some reason, it wasn't working out. I really don't recall what it was I was doing or what it was that happened but it wasn't working out, and I felt like it was my fault and it just made me SNAP!!!! I went back into my room and even though it had never been an issue, I had NEVER given ANY thought to self harm, I reacted to the stress by trying to hang myself. GUESS WHAT!? I don't think I have to say this but, it OBVIOUSLY didn't work
the items I had tried to use were in no way anywhere close to being able to support my weight. And when it didn't work, I was at rock bottom. I couldn't do anything in my life right, not even (attempting) suicide........My mom thought she heard me call for her and came to my room (I didn't) and when she started to leave I broke down because on top of everything else that was wrong in my life, ( in my twisted, tormented mind) she didn't care that I had just tried killing myself!!!! I was bawling " YOU DON'T LOVE ME!!!! NO ONE LOVES ME!!!" Well now she's showing concern and "yes honey, I do......"
"NO YOU DON'T!!! YOU DON'T EVEN CARE I JUST TRIED TO KILL MYSELF!!!!!" SHOCK to her, because like I said the items I tried to use were no where near being able to support my weight, in fact they were so small and unnoticeable that that is just what happened, she hadn't even noticed them on the floor (because they fell from the ceiling and were on the floor, the messy, needed to be cleaned up floor). Well, we got help, and shortly after this happened it was the summer trip for my churches youth group, and that was an AWESOME, LIFE CHANGING, trip
(another story, for another thread, for another time).......fast forward 20ish years to now.......
here I am typing away to complete strangers all around the world, a very raw and personal story......
Wife to one of the most wonderful servants of the Lord I have ever known,
Mama Bear to some pretty awesome little cubs......
Sharing the hope that is in Jesus at a time in history where people really need that hope......
NONE of this would be happening if Satan had been successful in convincing me to end life way back then.......
@Mauricia ,
to answer your question, "is self harm a sin"? The very fact that the question is keeping you from doing so tells me that you, deep down think and feel it is. But more so, it tells me that deep down, you really don't want to do it.
It was well said above,
That's from the Bible, Jesus speaking in John 10:10, BUT it doesn't stop there!!!!
Jesus goes on to say " I have come that they may have life, and have it in all its fullness. "
There's so many good things He wants to give you!!!
The things you're going through are temporary. I know it doesn't seem that way right now.
But Gods love, and life with Jesus is eternal!!!! (if you acknowledge Jesus, and ask Him into your life- He is a gentleman
He'll never force someone to receive Him). If you ever want to talk about things in more detail privately let me know. I am willing to start a private message with you
@Mauricia, do you have an idea of why you have these thoughts??
Is it due to a certain event that took place in your life or is it just a build up of feeling overwhelmed in life. You dont have to post details or anything. I tend to watch a lot on you tube so I was just going to send you something that I have found encouraging.
Is it due to a certain event that took place in your life or is it just a build up of feeling overwhelmed in life. You dont have to post details or anything. I tend to watch a lot on you tube so I was just going to send you something that I have found encouraging.
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