At what age do you kick your children out of the house?

  • Christian Chat is a moderated online Christian community allowing Christians around the world to fellowship with each other in real time chat via webcam, voice, and text, with the Christian Chat app. You can also start or participate in a Bible-based discussion here in the Christian Chat Forums, where members can also share with each other their own videos, pictures, or favorite Christian music.

    If you are a Christian and need encouragement and fellowship, we're here for you! If you are not a Christian but interested in knowing more about Jesus our Lord, you're also welcome! Want to know what the Bible says, and how you can apply it to your life? Join us!

    To make new Christian friends now around the world, click here to join Christian Chat.

Lanolin

Well-known member
Dec 15, 2018
23,460
7,188
113
#61
Perhaps you did a much better job at raising your children than I did, or maybe you just have more space. Because I was a professional chef, cooking meals and dinners in advance to heat up on the run made sense. There was always a pot of soup, or chili and cooked chicken breasts and salads to grab. A couple times a week my wife would clean the house. The kids were constantly busy with studies and sports and when they had a few minutes my wife encouraged them to go see their friends. Chores weren’t given as regularly. Now for some reason my wife thinks after years of doing everything for them, they are going to jump in and take over all of their tasks. It’s not going fantastically. From their unmotivated “cleaning” and my wife’s menopausal rants, I’m ready to get an apartment. The boys are nearly adults and still sharing a room. We could all use a bit of space. By no means will anyone be tossed to the wolves. They are more than welcome back at any time, and every meal, but having to sort through my daughter’s clothes to determine which ones are dry flat and which ones can be thrown in the drier so I can do my own laundry is getting exhausting. So much lulu lemon! We all love each other and laugh louder than any other table at a restaurant. Any one of them could have a career in comedy. It’s just a little more independence would be nice.
you could move out and leave the children at home perhaps.

Then you wont have this problem.
 
Apr 3, 2020
68
22
8
#62
My mom when i graduated highschool 2 weeks later she angrily called me and told me to get my clothes and im never allowed to sleep in the house again. Of course we didnt talk for years.

My sisters were allowed to stay until 30. Well were family and they are in tough situations (all self inflicted) and trying to save money blah blah. Like me weeks after 18 i just had the world in my hand. Idk how u can kick a kid out right now when the houses are double of 3 years ago. When you are 80 they will get their calculator well i did the math and you are inconveniencing me.
 

Laura798

Well-known member
Jun 6, 2020
1,716
593
113
#63
Don’t get me wrong, I love my kids. Right now I have a girl 23 yrs old, full time nurse, a 20 yr old girl student, an almost 18 yr old graduate and current plumbing Apprenctice, and another guy in high school. The house was never big enough for 6 ppl. Now that they (the ones done school) are making good money, when is it time to help them pack? It’s not that we don’t enjoy them. There just isn’t enough space. The houses in our city just escalated 250%. Am I supposed to let them stay here until they can buy a house of their own?
Hi Hungry,

I'm late to this thread, but it is your natural 'push them out of the nest when they are adults' instincts kicking in. I say you and your wife go to dinner alone to discuss your feelings regarding the oldest moving out and the rest of them pulling their weight around the house. I'd suggest discussing with the 23 year old looking into an apartment to share with a roommate. I would sit them all down and tell them if you haven't already ,they need to 1. Wash their own clothes 2. Clean their rooms every week 3. Have rotating chores for cleaning the house 4. Rotating chores for cooking and cleaning up the kitchen. They are adults and there are plenty of people working full time jobs with small children at home that run errands, care for the house and kids--they are all old enough to do all these things and it is preparing them for when they have their own households. Tell them if they are not willing to help around the house then they need to get their own place. Also give them an expectation that when they do get full-time jobs it is time for them to get their own place--I understand it's expensive, but maybe they can move to a location to work that is less expensive to live or again get roommates. I wish you the best--you have a handful!
 

presidente

Senior Member
May 29, 2013
9,160
1,787
113
#64
My youngest is 9. The rest are teenagers. Theoretically, we have them doing all the dishes. My wife and I sometimes do dishes if the children cook. Last night, my daughter left a big pile of dishes. She probably fell asleep after staying up doing homework without communicating this to us. We have to stay on them a bit, but usually they get them done. I should probably set some firmer rules about clothing. We haven't had any we want to kick out of the nest yet.
 

Cabrillo

Active member
Sep 6, 2021
420
221
43
#67
Mine escaped around 18 YOA. When they still thought that they knew everything. :LOL:
 

presidente

Senior Member
May 29, 2013
9,160
1,787
113
#68
I'll probably try to keep mine around a little while to spend more time with them and pour more into them if I can.
 

Aaron56

Well-known member
Jul 12, 2021
2,766
1,588
113
#69
I suggest it depends upon the child and the timing of the Lord. Our oldest lives 4 states away and is now in commercial real estate. Our youngest was a bit of a hellion in her teens and couldn’t wait to leave our home. She’s now at home working and taking college courses. Her time here was for the healing of her soul. She now loves us deeply and sees the benefit of our love for her (before it was the “curse she was under”). We’re planning for her to move on campus about 2 hours away when she enrolls in business and art school. She’s ready to go now. She’s 20.
My point: by the Spirit, there is no appropriate age, only appropriate readiness. Finances and resources are important, but when it was time to send our oldest we did not wait to save to send her. We knew the Lord would provide and He did. When we do things in the Lord’s timing we can be assured of the outcome.

P.S. I prophesied that she would be offered a position from a billion-dollar company while she while in her first job living away from home. It happened on the last day she worked at that job… and she turned it down! Simply put, the Lord had changed the direction of her sail and she has never been influenced by money. She is now head PR and marketing for a start-up company and loving every minute of it. We could see the goodness of the Lord in all her circumstances. It’s been a blessing to all of us.