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The emotional toll is pretty huge too. I fought for 4 years for my son. Thankfully we had a counselor overseeing everything . He was young at the time....like 2 when it all began.....and the counselor was for a graduated parenting plan. Initially before there was any agreement, she would play little games like when I would go to get him she would tell me I couldn't have him and slam the door in my face.....this was after driving 30 miles from where I was staying in my camper. I called the police numerous times when she would do this....not because they could do anything but I wanted a record of her being like that.
It was a difficult time and I never gave up because I love my boy. Sad that I had to fight to be his dad..... and going thru all of that I see why many just give up. In spite of all of it we never involved him in the conflict on a level that he knew about. We didn't yell at each other in front of him....in fact I walked away many times when she started to go that route. The fact of the matter was that she was trying to take my son from me. I'm sure she had her reasons but it was extremely difficult. Add to it that she inserted herself with my family and stole that safety from me on top of all of it. Looking back it was all so hard and I get a little choked up right now just thinking about it.
Interestingly, we co parent pretty well and she even calls or texts me about "boy" stuff that she is unsure about or even asks me how I would handle a certain situation with him. I don't pay any child support because we share him 50/50. But I am still digging out of a financial hole from my first divorce and now I am doing it again. Thank God I didn't have any children with my second wife.
It isn't divorce that necessarily hurts the people involved but the continuation of the battle. And sometimes they go on for a lifetime.....especially with children involved. Thankfully the love of our child keeps us from battling with each other. He loves us both and we at least unify around that now.
It was a difficult time and I never gave up because I love my boy. Sad that I had to fight to be his dad..... and going thru all of that I see why many just give up. In spite of all of it we never involved him in the conflict on a level that he knew about. We didn't yell at each other in front of him....in fact I walked away many times when she started to go that route. The fact of the matter was that she was trying to take my son from me. I'm sure she had her reasons but it was extremely difficult. Add to it that she inserted herself with my family and stole that safety from me on top of all of it. Looking back it was all so hard and I get a little choked up right now just thinking about it.
Interestingly, we co parent pretty well and she even calls or texts me about "boy" stuff that she is unsure about or even asks me how I would handle a certain situation with him. I don't pay any child support because we share him 50/50. But I am still digging out of a financial hole from my first divorce and now I am doing it again. Thank God I didn't have any children with my second wife.
It isn't divorce that necessarily hurts the people involved but the continuation of the battle. And sometimes they go on for a lifetime.....especially with children involved. Thankfully the love of our child keeps us from battling with each other. He loves us both and we at least unify around that now.
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There is already talk about screening for drugs if people have a food card. Why should they have a food card if they have the money for drugs? Just saying child support could be done the same way. I would have had no problem being screened, I have never done drugs. Wasn't accusing anybody of anything.