Daughter ostracized for being non-affirming of children’s gender dysphoria

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SarahLyn

New member
Sep 5, 2021
6
5
3
#1
My daughter is 11. Several of her female childhood school friends have come out as bi, gay, trans. She has mentioned to one friend that she didn’t feel that this lifestyle was supported by the Bible. It was spread that she is a homophobe, and now, she feels very isolated and alone. I would bring her to a Christian school, but these days, many of them are affirming of Biblically unsanctioned lifestyles, and the cost is so high and drive far. What are some ways that you’ve taught your kids/teens to deal with this issue? It almost seems to be an epidemic when she mentions how many 6th grade girls are lgbtq.
 

mar09

Senior Member
Sep 17, 2014
4,873
1,206
113
#2
I am sorry to hear that, Sarah... Essentially, i pass the example of strength from the Lord and the power of His might in day to day life... but our children have their own experiences and also choices. If she is secure about her position in Christ, it may still bother her how her classmates are confused about their gender, or just mimicking what they hear more and more. After all, it's not just abt gender matters they learn and are exposed to in media. For one, we didnt watch very many (just any) movies together. My husband and i would rather they were doing other things than being stuck in front of a tv to pick up all the wrong values and examples (altho that does not mean we were perfect either=)). Pray for your child daily too.
 

Funkus

Active member
May 20, 2020
169
55
28
#3
it's not fair to load an 11 year old with this stuff. i think that this is the domain of adults encroaching on children's lives. the important thing to remember is that being a child is the most important thing so if she is herself and has a few friends that is what matters. Encourage friendships with other children you think are good for her. It's a game so play it like it is a game, taking it all to heart and seriously isn't appropriate for her age
 

SarahLyn

New member
Sep 5, 2021
6
5
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#4
I think she is doing well with all of these things, and she seems secure. We go to a very small church where she is the oldest child/only youth. This is a huge problem for me that we are trying to rectify by getting her to a youth group meeting every other Wednesday at another church where she has cousins her age. I’m not ready to change churches yet, but I see a need for good friendships, that if not filled, unhealthy friendships could take their place.
 

Lanolin

Well-known member
Dec 15, 2018
12,516
4,481
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#5
Hmm lots of things are not supported by the Bible. I am just wondering how your daughter reacts to someone who isnt a christian, what if they identified as Hindu or Muslim or Buddhist. Would she tell them off for not believing in God?

The reality is not everyone she meets will be a believer, and you need to make sure she has enough compassion for those who dont yet know God. Plus they are children, their beliefs arent set in stone.

many people who come out as gay trans and bi ALREADY know its not approved of by God.

You need some wisdom to deal with this, and also think of how you would treat a gay or non christian workmate in your own circles. Maybe you dont even get to decide who you work with anyway..?
 

surfer14

Well-known member
Jul 9, 2020
793
438
63
#6
My daughter is 11. Several of her female childhood school friends have come out as bi, gay, trans. She has mentioned to one friend that she didn’t feel that this lifestyle was supported by the Bible. It was spread that she is a homophobe, and now, she feels very isolated and alone. I would bring her to a Christian school, but these days, many of them are affirming of Biblically unsanctioned lifestyles, and the cost is so high and drive far. What are some ways that you’ve taught your kids/teens to deal with this issue? It almost seems to be an epidemic when she mentions how many 6th grade girls are lgbtq.
Homeschool.
 

SarahLyn

New member
Sep 5, 2021
6
5
3
#7
Hmm lots of things are not supported by the Bible. I am just wondering how your daughter reacts to someone who isnt a christian, what if they identified as Hindu or Muslim or Buddhist. Would she tell them off for not believing in God?

The reality is not everyone she meets will be a believer, and you need to make sure she has enough compassion for those who dont yet know God. Plus they are children, their beliefs arent set in stone.

many people who come out as gay trans and bi ALREADY know its not approved of by God.

You need some wisdom to deal with this, and also think of how you would treat a gay or non christian workmate in your own circles. Maybe you dont even get to decide who you work with anyway..?
This is some good advice and something I have already tried with her. We dont practice telling loved ones that are living in an extramarital relationship that they’re living in sin, but we won’t let them sleep at our house together. Not everyone needs to know how she believes about their preferences. I told her to be friendly, but keep it school related. Don’t talk about anything personal and usually those relationships tend to stay at arms length and cordial.
 

JTB

Active member
Aug 31, 2021
189
92
28
#8
Love the sinner, hate the sin. Jesus welcomed sinners and showed them a different way. Your daughter should be welcoming these other children and show them the love of God. Then leave it to the Holy Spirit to inwardly convict them of their sin. When these other children begin to sense that the lgbtq way isn't right, they will remember your daughters love and seek her out.
 

surfer14

Well-known member
Jul 9, 2020
793
438
63
#9
Love the sinner, hate the sin. Jesus welcomed sinners and showed them a different way. Your daughter should be welcoming these other children and show them the love of God. Then leave it to the Holy Spirit to inwardly convict them of their sin. When these other children begin to sense that the lgbtq way isn't right, they will remember your daughters love and seek her out.
This is a fail. A complete, utter fail.
 

surfer14

Well-known member
Jul 9, 2020
793
438
63
#11
And why would that be?
Why??!! Because she's 11 years old! That's why!

Matthew 18:5-6
5 “Whoever receives one such child in my name receives me, 6 but whoever causes one of these little ones who believe in me to sin,[a] it would be better for him to have a great millstone fastened around his neck and to be drowned in the depth of the sea.

I would sooner have thrown my kids in to a pack of hungry wolves than to let them set foot in a public school with a bunch of demonic, pedophile sodomites who's goal is to eat innocent souls. What you're suggesting is worse than the jews sacrificing their children to moloch.
 

EmilyNats

Senior Member
Jul 28, 2016
1,255
80
48
#12
This is exactly why my husband and I were homeschooled, and its exactly why we will be homeschooling our kids. It's absolutely vile that an 11 year old should have to put up with being bullied like that in public schools.
 

EnglishChick

Well-known member
Apr 20, 2021
621
320
63
39
England UK
#13
Why??!! Because she's 11 years old! That's why!

Matthew 18:5-6
5 “Whoever receives one such child in my name receives me, 6 but whoever causes one of these little ones who believe in me to sin,[a] it would be better for him to have a great millstone fastened around his neck and to be drowned in the depth of the sea.

I would sooner have thrown my kids in to a pack of hungry wolves than to let them set foot in a public school with a bunch of demonic, pedophile sodomites who's goal is to eat innocent souls. What you're suggesting is worse than the jews sacrificing their children to moloch.

I don't think an 11 year old should be burdened with anything more than just being kind to all her classmates . No need for her to mention their sexuality but keep modelling Jesus by showing a Godly attitude. Kindness of God leads repentance but I don't think a child should be doing anything other than being their kind Godly selves. No preaching needed at this stage .
 

EnglishChick

Well-known member
Apr 20, 2021
621
320
63
39
England UK
#14
This is exactly why my husband and I were homeschooled, and its exactly why we will be homeschooling our kids. It's absolutely vile that an 11 year old should have to put up with being bullied like that in public schools.
Homeschooling or private tuition are good ideas at a primary school level, I think. Obviously for high school they need their qualifications for university or a career
 

EmilyNats

Senior Member
Jul 28, 2016
1,255
80
48
#15
Homeschooling or private tuition are good ideas at a primary school level, I think. Obviously for high school they need their qualifications for university or a career
I think that more depends on what their goals are. My father-in-law owns a very successful small business and never went to college. My Biology teacher in college started her career with a GED. Most universities (at least in America) care a lot less about what high school you went to and a lot more about your grades. If they are wanting to go to Yale or something then it might be of an advantage, but all of my teachers said that homeschoolers generally did significantly better in their class. I think going to college is fine, as long they are going for a degree that will actually get them a job and not just for bragging rights.
 

JohnDB

Well-known member
Jan 16, 2021
1,040
608
113
#16
My daughter is 11. Several of her female childhood school friends have come out as bi, gay, trans. She has mentioned to one friend that she didn’t feel that this lifestyle was supported by the Bible. It was spread that she is a homophobe, and now, she feels very isolated and alone. I would bring her to a Christian school, but these days, many of them are affirming of Biblically unsanctioned lifestyles, and the cost is so high and drive far. What are some ways that you’ve taught your kids/teens to deal with this issue? It almost seems to be an epidemic when she mentions how many 6th grade girls are lgbtq.
First off...grade school sucks because anything different from the majority is instantly demonized by the majority.

Lots of children have been taught to demonize those who don't accept "group think" (1984 Orwell reference)

Secondly...
11 year old like girls do NOT have a great understanding of deviant sexual behavior...they barely understand the concept of normal. Many are barely starting puberty. But the education system is trying to hypersexualize all children.

Sure boys are still "icky" at that age...girls were as well to boys.

Not a one of them girls knows anything about what they are declaring except that it is being promoted by someone or several someones.

I'm sure that your daughter might understand the mechanics of what she is saying but has no idea as to the emotional aspect of physical intimacy.
Neither do her "friends".

This is a great opportunity to teach her the difference between good friend choices and bad friend choices as well as forgiving some friends mistakes. Boundaries are going to be of extreme importance later...but start teaching appropriate boundaries now and WHY they are important.

I'm sure that her feelings were hurt as she is likely heading into puberty...girls get all kinds of emotional during this time...(I'm sure you remember first hand)

Get dad involved...this time is especially important for BOTH of you to remind her that she is loved and that you are BOTH are extremely proud of her and love her.
 

Godsgirl83

Well-known member
Apr 1, 2019
8,107
5,611
113
#17
Homeschooling or private tuition are good ideas at a primary school level, I think. Obviously for high school they need their qualifications for university or a career
I think that more depends on what their goals are. My father-in-law owns a very successful small business and never went to college. My Biology teacher in college started her career with a GED. Most universities (at least in America) care a lot less about what high school you went to and a lot more about your grades. If they are wanting to go to Yale or something then it might be of an advantage, but all of my teachers said that homeschoolers generally did significantly better in their class. I think going to college is fine, as long they are going for a degree that will actually get them a job and not just for bragging rights.
Actually, (in the US) the stats show that homeschooled kids excell over public school kids and that colleges/universities and corporations are more likely to hire a homeschool grad over public school grad.
(We homeschool @ elementary /middle school level, but I'm often looking into how to handle high school/graduation requirments and the likes) There are TONS of organizations to legally support homeschooled high schoolers/grads & companies you can work with/pay to track all the high school requirments/grades/etc.
 

JohnDB

Well-known member
Jan 16, 2021
1,040
608
113
#18
Actually, (in the US) the stats show that homeschooled kids excell over public school kids and that colleges/universities and corporations are more likely to hire a homeschool grad over public school grad.
(We homeschool @ elementary /middle school level, but I'm often looking into how to handle high school/graduation requirments and the likes) There are TONS of organizations to legally support homeschooled high schoolers/grads & companies you can work with/pay to track all the high school requirments/grades/etc.
That was once true but since it's public popularity it's gone WAY downhill since...it's being used for a lot of reasons instead of a better education...and some of the results are extremely poor.
 

Godsgirl83

Well-known member
Apr 1, 2019
8,107
5,611
113
#19
My daughter is 11. Several of her female childhood school friends have come out as bi, gay, trans. She has mentioned to one friend that she didn’t feel that this lifestyle was supported by the Bible. It was spread that she is a homophobe, and now, she feels very isolated and alone. I would bring her to a Christian school, but these days, many of them are affirming of Biblically unsanctioned lifestyles, and the cost is so high and drive far. What are some ways that you’ve taught your kids/teens to deal with this issue? It almost seems to be an epidemic when she mentions how many 6th grade girls are lgbtq.
I'm sorry your daughter has to face this.
My kids are close to your daughters age, but this is not something (we) they have had to face yet, so I can't really give you much advice there. But I will be praying for you and her.
 

Godsgirl83

Well-known member
Apr 1, 2019
8,107
5,611
113
#20
That was once true but since it's public popularity it's gone WAY downhill since...it's being used for a lot of reasons instead of a better education...and some of the results are extremely poor.
:unsure: hmmm what do I know on the subject :rolleyes: ..........


Your right. I guess homeschooled kids would do better in public schools where many are 1 1/2- 2 years BEHIND due to lockdowns.
When they returned they were expected to somehow just know what would have been taught during that time and pick up and move forward thus causing confusion, and, frustration. Being forced into hybrid education, never knowing if tomorrow they will go to school or stay home and work virtually. There is a generation of public school children who are going to reach graduation time in the next few years and be "old enough" but still not "smart enough" to graduate.

I don't have time right now, but if I did I could give you more links than you could find time for (even in retirement) that show all this.