How can a mother hate her own child so much??

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jenniferand2

jenniferand2

Senior Member
Mar 19, 2016
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My mother does everything she can do keep my daughter away from me.. she lies, she makes me look crazy.. my mother never calls me ever unless she wants to know where the child support is..not my birthday not Christmas nothing.. she always talks bad about me to everyone. Like I am a huge mistake low life. If I was on fire she would probably pick pocket me and walk away..how can a mother hate their own daughter so much. I don't get it.. it hurts me so much.
 
Have you asked your mom? What's her answer? Was she an abused child?
You may have hurt her tremendously in the past. That's no reason for hate.
Why does your mom need child support for your kids?
How does your mom make you look crazy?

In the mean time, live a life that proves your mom wrong. Not just for that reason, but certainly as an incentive to show your child how to live. Set an example for your child. Lies. If she's lying about you, very little you can do. Again, prove to yourself and others you are responsible, honest, descent.
 
I know you've got a lot going on Jennifer. I don't want you to get mad at me for asking this but did you have an addiction at one time? I'm just wondering if your Mom is really fearful about you with the kid's for some reason .

I'm not asking that to be rude. Whatever is going on I pray your Mom can open her heart or change her ways and stop being cruel.
 
TraySir said:
Have you asked your mom? What's her answer? Was she an abused child?
You may have hurt her tremendously in the past. That's no reason for hate.
Why does your mom need child support for your kids?
How does your mom make you look crazy?

In the mean time, live a life that proves your mom wrong. Not just for that reason, but certainly as an incentive to show your child how to live. Set an example for your child. Lies. If she's lying about you, very little you can do. Again, prove to yourself and others you are responsible, honest, descent.
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I have done all that my daughter lives me and is proud of me. My mom lies because she wants to keep my daughter with her... I am legitamitly getting treated like garbage from her for no reason it is just who she is. She is fine with my siblings just not me. She has been that way with me as long as I can remember.
 
jenniferand2 said:
My mother does everything she can do keep my daughter away from me.. she lies, she makes me look crazy.. my mother never calls me ever unless she wants to know where the child support is..not my birthday not Christmas nothing.. she always talks bad about me to everyone. Like I am a huge mistake low life. If I was on fire she would probably pick pocket me and walk away..how can a mother hate their own daughter so much. I don't get it.. it hurts me so much.
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People do that sometimes. Make sure you are giving her no reason to hate you, and then just learn to live without her.
 
Fenner said:
I know you've got a lot going on Jennifer. I don't want you to get mad at me for asking this but did you have an addiction at one time? I'm just wondering if your Mom is really fearful about you with the kid's for some reason .

I'm not asking that to be rude. Whatever is going on I pray your Mom can open her heart or change her ways and stop being cruel.
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No i have not I was with my daughter's father who did not treat me to move at the time.. years later after fighting and getting no where I am still with her father but my mom has no problem sending my daughter here for weeks at a time she just won't let loose and give her back to me and my daughter is 17 so it is not like she is little little.
 
jenniferand2 said:
I have done all that my daughter lives me and is proud of me. My mom lies because she wants to keep my daughter with her... I am legitamitly getting treated like garbage from her for no reason it is just who she is. She is fine with my siblings just not me. She has been that way with me as long as I can remember.
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That's wonderful. Your mom's lies aren't at this time deceiving your daughter. That's good. How old is your daughter? Only reason I ask is we can feel less strained in our afflictions when we see there is a change around the corner.

I am so glad for your resolve to be an good example to your daughter. I commend you.

Your mom is a thorn in your flesh. Spend much time in positive thoughts. Meditate on passages throughout the day.

Your mom knows she can hurt you. Can't escape being hurt by your mom. So sorry. So very sorry.

God loves you. He holds you in His arms. He sees you. He knows you are hurting. All His children do cry. Some have more tears than others. But He hears our cries. He hears our prayers. Trust Him. It won't be easy. Look to Jesus. See His life. His ways. His light.

Set your mind and on things above. Be all the more loving to others. Let pain draw out love. Be proud of yourself. Don't sink into defeat by words from others. Walk in courage and strength. Patience.
 
She is 17 how am I deceiving my daughter???by caring for her and wanting her back home were she belongs? I don't understand.. I have done nothing but bend over backwords to please everyone involved and my mother still treats me like garbage and tried to convince my child I am the evil one... I didn't post this to dissect what is going on. I posted it to ask how a mother could be so horrible to their own child and not even care that she is horrible..
 
Matthew 10:21“Brother will betray brother to death, and a father his child; children will rebel against their parents and have them put to death.

It's a sign of the times. Nothing different than what's going on with my family, my wife's family, et al.
 
jenniferand2 said:
She is 17 how am I deceiving my daughter???by caring for her and wanting her back home were she belongs? I don't understand.. I have done nothing but bend over backwords to please everyone involved and my mother still treats me like garbage and tried to convince my child I am the evil one... I didn't post this to dissect what is going on. I posted it to ask how a mother could be so horrible to their own child and not even care that she is horrible..
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I understand.
In order to answer your question: more info needed. Trying to find out why your mom might be the way she is. Knowing why she is that way, can help you with the situation.
By asking questions, I learn your daughter is one year or less from legal age. And apparently your mom has not completely poisoned her thinking against you. Good.

I don't know how a mom can hate her own child.
What we perceive as hate may actually be pain. Yes, there's hate, but not hate of the person. I am hoping your mom has some love for you as well.

Parents have cast out their children, been hateful for a number of reasons. I know of families who have been split apart because a child has committed his/her life to the Lord.
Parents have hated their children when their children have achieved far more than what the parents have. All sorts of reasons for hateful behavior. Not right.

As for myself, I could never hate my children. Never. I might hate what they do, but never hate them.
 
Jennifer I'm so sorry that you're going through this. I wish I could fix everything for you. It's heartbreaking.
 
There is a reason for everything.

What is the reason for your daughter living with a grandparent instead of a parent?
 
A grandmother doesn’t get child support, which means custody of your child for no reason in this country, so something happened. If your daughter lives with you I would go back to court, because that just doesn’t make since paying child support to someone who no longer has your daughter, nor will it to the court. Something is awry…

That said…. It is sad when a mother reject you. From personal knowledge, not as a mother should be a “Christian” but my mom is a religious Jew so when a became “Christian” 27 years ago, I became dead to my mother. Things have gotten better since her husband died and she speaks to me know, but I went 20 years not even having a sader with my mother, because I was no longer just a Jew to her but no longer a daughter. I went to my step-father’s funeral and to my surprise when they asked her who she wants to sit with her she said, and Mae, (me). My mom and I have taken great strides over the years, I am still not a child, but I call her 2-5 times a week. She answers sometimes or calls back when she knows I am at work…lol I work for a technology company and she wants to talk to me for troubleshooting….lol

My mother is 78 years old, I love her, if I get caught up in petty life, like she rejected me, (the Bible told me she would) she may die not knowing Messiah. I love that woman so much I want here in heaven. I get it some days it does bother me more than most I want her to love and want me to. But unless G-d intervenes she won’t I chose Y-shua over being a Jew, unless she gets saved. Then maybe she will accept me. Maybe that will never happen, it is in G-d’s hands.

No matter what your situation is, if different than mine… if we do what is right before G-d’s eyes and honor our parents He will keep His promise that we will have long life. and if you mother hates you for righteousness sake you are blessed per our Master. So it boils doing to we do right before the Lord and He has us covered. And maybe He will fix thigs with our moms’ before either we die or they do.
 
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jenniferand2 said:
I have done all that my daughter lives me and is proud of me. My mom lies because she wants to keep my daughter with her... I am legitamitly getting treated like garbage from her for no reason it is just who she is. She is fine with my siblings just not me. She has been that way with me as long as I can remember.
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There has got to be a reason for all of this, this is deep seated and evil, I sincerely wish you could find out the reason behind this.
I know another situation like this, and it is such a waste................of love, and intimacy, and joy, and peace............so very sad, I admire your courage in the face of this adversity, the only good thing that I can think about is that God draws near to the brokenhearted.
 
Look up "Borderline Personality Disorder" and see if it sounds like your mother. If not that, there may be other disorders that better describe her.

There is clearly something wrong with her. It will probably help if you get a better understanding of it.

It may not change things but it might answer the how of your question, and keep you from feeling so guilty.
 
Unfortunately this type of situation is common and it's a main factor of why God is ending the world.

Family values are not being taught or practiced like they should when children/adolescents are going through difficult problems that their parents didn't give the enough tools to cope with those parents ship them off to institutions who's only goal is to make money not cure anybody,and hav someone congregate with people that have problems also doesn't cure those problems it can help but more often it is detrimental to them look at what happens to people that go to jail they usually go back because jail is just a school for criminals.

Then those children ship those parents off to retirement homes instead of caring for them.

Im just stating a couple of examples of why God is ending the world ,unfortunately it has gotten so bad that that is the only action that can be taken ,take comfort in knowing the Jesus will come back and make everything right for those that have put their faith in God that's what I do anyways,thats the only thing that helps especially in situations that I can't change.
 
jenniferand2 said:
My mother does everything she can do keep my daughter away from me.. she lies, she makes me look crazy.. my mother never calls me ever unless she wants to know where the child support is..not my birthday not Christmas nothing.. she always talks bad about me to everyone. Like I am a huge mistake low life. If I was on fire she would probably pick pocket me and walk away..how can a mother hate their own daughter so much. I don't get it.. it hurts me so much.
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***(praying)**** sounds like she's messed up---- pray for and her respect her even if she doesn't deserve it...
 
EarnestQ said:
Look up "Borderline Personality Disorder" and see if it sounds like your mother. If not that, there may be other disorders that better describe her.

There is clearly something wrong with her. It will probably help if you get a better understanding of it.

It may not change things but it might answer the how of your question, and keep you from feeling so guilty.
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oh I am sure my mother has boarder line personality disorder i am pretty sure she is schitzoprenic as well...
 
jenniferand2 said:
My mother does everything she can do keep my daughter away from me.. she lies, she makes me look crazy.. my mother never calls me ever unless she wants to know where the child support is..not my birthday not Christmas nothing.. she always talks bad about me to everyone. Like I am a huge mistake low life. If I was on fire she would probably pick pocket me and walk away..how can a mother hate their own daughter so much. I don't get it.. it hurts me so much.
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Sounds to me like a judge gave custody of your kids to your mom. This either means there is a reason you're not mentioning, or the judge was unjust- which does happen. But you made no mention of it being unfair, so I have to assume that deep in your heart you agree that it is best for your kids to be there while you get a handle on your problem, though I know it still hurts.

But that aside, your mom is receiving child support from you. Once you have an income, you get used to it, and try to protect it. Therefore she is probably in the mindframe of magnifying your flaws, and keeping everyone thinking that this situation needs to remain unchanged. Sounds to me like her attitude about it is to take advantage of the situation best she can.

Most people make decisions based on financial gain instead of on love. I don't, but I'm rare lol. If I was in her situation I would be compassionate to you and encourage you to make the right choices because I don't want to see you hurting or going down the wrong spiritual road. And if the situation changed, I would encourage you to regain your kids even though my income would go down. Because people are always, always, ALWAYS more important than money or things.

I feel your pain, and I hope the best for you. But life is a test- which we must pass. There will be struggles and tears. Meantime, be Christ-like- mature, loving, forgiving, patient, kind. Love your kids as much as you can every moment you get to spend with them.

As for your mom's motives or attitude, you can't change her or judge her. All you can do is show her the contrast through influence- and if she is guilty it will make her feel more guilty, and if she is loving her heart will soften toward you. If she is selfish then that is how she can be cold-hearted even to her own child. The wrath of God is not coming for nothing. God is love, and His wrath is coming to those who fail this life's test- to show His love to other people.
 
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