Husband would rather masturbate than have sex with me

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Locoponydirtman

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Oct 9, 2018
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There is definitely something seriously wrong when a man will forgo intimacy with a real woman for the fantasy of porn.
You may want to investigate what he is looking at. It may reveal something about him that could explain what's going on.
At any rate. You have to make a stand. He needs real consequences for his actions.
 

shittim

Senior Member
Dec 16, 2016
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I have heard it taught a man's first sexual experience becomes his "normal" for life, if not healed and corrected.
 

Lafftur

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Apr 18, 2017
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WOW! I am so glad this thread came back to life! I just read the whole thing and it ministered to me so much!!! :love:
 

shittim

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There are no accidents, He knows the end from the beginning and knew when this was first posted wwwaaayyy... back then you would be edified by it's resurgence today.
Bless you in Jesus Name
 

rong

Active member
Nov 20, 2018
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china
I think this is very bad, should rely on god to escape from this sin
 

shittim

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Dec 16, 2016
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I heard a marriage and family counselor men don't talk as much as women and women don't desire sex as much as men, and both sides need to do more of those things to please the other.
 

shittim

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If she would initiate more he wouldn't have to seek release on his own.
 

blue_ladybug

Senior Member
Feb 21, 2014
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If she would initiate more he wouldn't have to seek release on his own.
Obviously he likes playing with himself more than he likes playing with her. HE'S the one with the addiction. It isn't her fault.
 

shittim

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Dec 16, 2016
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Men don't always blame the woman, the woman always blames the man.
Typical fault finding when if " the two shall be as one" there would be no fault finding and blaming but the desire to prayerfully seek His direction to heal and restore this relationship. Seeking "help" from an internet site and not the Creator is an indication a different, G-dly, solution needs to be found.
True Christians don't have an opinion, we have a position and it is based on the Word of G-d.
blessings
 

shittim

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Dec 16, 2016
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I'm sure this will wrankle the women, the guy needs someone in his corner, he didn't enter the marriage with this intention, something happened and she knows what it is if she is honest with herself and it should be worked out with him and not become an internet "all you can bash him" thread.
 

Locoponydirtman

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Oct 9, 2018
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I'm sure this will wrankle the women, the guy needs someone in his corner, he didn't enter the marriage with this intention, something happened and she knows what it is if she is honest with herself and it should be worked out with him and not become an internet "all you can bash him" thread.
If you read what she wrote. She is the rebuffed initiator. That he forgoes opportunity with her to watch porn, and self gratify.
 

blue_ladybug

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Feb 21, 2014
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I'm sure this will wrankle the women, the guy needs someone in his corner, he didn't enter the marriage with this intention, something happened and she knows what it is if she is honest with herself and it should be worked out with him and not become an internet "all you can bash him" thread.

How do you know he didn't enter this marriage with the porn addiction? To be blunt, he prefers whacking off and having sex with himself, rather than have sex with his wife, who I'm fairly sure DOES TRY to initiate sex.
 

shittim

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Dec 16, 2016
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Judge not, lest we be judged..........
Hurt people need the compassion of Christ from Christians, and the door swings both ways. How did he get hurt to end up as he has?
 

Locoponydirtman

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Oct 9, 2018
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Judge not, lest we be judged..........
Hurt people need the compassion of Christ from Christians, and the door swings both ways. How did he get hurt to end up as he has?
It's not judgement to say he has a porn addiction and needs professional help. That is compassion.
We have no way of knowing how he found himself in this condition, neither does she. He may have been exposed to sexual content at a far too young of age. It don't change the fact that he is in an unhealthy condition and a sinful one at that.
When will some Christians learn to be honest, and understand that leaving people in a sinful state is not compassion, that calling sin, sin is not judgement.
 

blue_ladybug

Senior Member
Feb 21, 2014
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Judge not, lest we be judged..........
Hurt people need the compassion of Christ from Christians, and the door swings both ways. How did he get hurt to end up as he has?
Maybe he was molested as a kid. Maybe he caught his parents boinking other people. Who knows? Call it what it is, Tim. An ADDICTION TO SEX. No one here is judging him.
 

blue_ladybug

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Also, this thread is FOUR years old, and the OP is no longer here..
 

shittim

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Dec 16, 2016
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Of course it is an old thread, and our Lord knows the end from the beginning and the problem of temptation and sin is still here.
Compassion moves toward the problem and works to resolve it, sympathy merely recognizes that the person has a problem. Has anyone prayed for this marriage to be restored and the couple be made whole and restored in Jesus Name?
I know i have, anything else would not be compassion, the moving toward resolution and doing what is possible for one to do to meet that need.
"Internet Drs." don't have the grounds to make a diagnosis, the marriage and couple are hurt and need restoration and Jesus gives us the ability to meet that need in prayer.
Suck it up brothers and sisters, we can talk or do, Jesus wants us to be doers of the word, not hearers only.
 

shittim

Senior Member
Dec 16, 2016
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Of course the bride posting this on the internet doesn't look like great confidentiality of the marriage relationship, perhaps that is how she is driving him off?
 

blue_ladybug

Senior Member
Feb 21, 2014
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He was driving her off long before she posted here. And why are you blaming her? HE's the one having sex with himself. When a person is more interested in diddling themselves instead of their spouse, then that person needs professional help.