Struggling today understand

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Dev06

New member
May 3, 2024
4
3
3
#1
I’ve been isolated for a long time and I’m not sure if it is wrong because I’ve learned that isolating is considered sin because I’m leaning on my own understanding of social interactions. I fear being judged by others and looked down on for my imperfections so I prefer to just stay away. I feel like I just don’t fit in with the world. It’s not that I don’t want to seek fellowship with others, I love interacting with people especially those who accept me for who I am, have a genuine heart, and make me feel comfortable. I just feel like there’s not a lot of that these days. I find myself having trust issues and letting go of a lot of potential friendships. It is not my desire to just stay away and do nothing as I want to do God’s will and move forward with my life, but I feel stuck. I can’t help but have this fear and anxiety to reach out. I just don’t feel emotionally equipped to do so.

Now what really confuses me is that I’ve also learned that isolation can be a good thing. When someone is in isolation, it can be a sign that God is preparing them for their purpose in life. Helping them to grow in spirit to prepare them for what’s to come. Yes, I do feel like I’m growing in spirit as I pray every day with a sincere heart. I study the Bible and I’ve learned to let go of some sinful acts I’ve been committing. I’m not even sad that I’m lonely anymore. But yet, I still feel stuck in isolation and it just makes me feel guilty. I mean, don’t demons like to hide themselves in the shadows? I know it’s for a different reason but the fact that I am hiding at all is why I’m scared that it’s wrong. And I still have this fear of moving forward and this doubt that I will never fit in. I am just so confused on what to do.
 

Gideon300

Well-known member
Mar 18, 2021
4,983
2,906
113
#2
I’ve been isolated for a long time and I’m not sure if it is wrong because I’ve learned that isolating is considered sin because I’m leaning on my own understanding of social interactions. I fear being judged by others and looked down on for my imperfections so I prefer to just stay away. I feel like I just don’t fit in with the world. It’s not that I don’t want to seek fellowship with others, I love interacting with people especially those who accept me for who I am, have a genuine heart, and make me feel comfortable. I just feel like there’s not a lot of that these days. I find myself having trust issues and letting go of a lot of potential friendships. It is not my desire to just stay away and do nothing as I want to do God’s will and move forward with my life, but I feel stuck. I can’t help but have this fear and anxiety to reach out. I just don’t feel emotionally equipped to do so.

Now what really confuses me is that I’ve also learned that isolation can be a good thing. When someone is in isolation, it can be a sign that God is preparing them for their purpose in life. Helping them to grow in spirit to prepare them for what’s to come. Yes, I do feel like I’m growing in spirit as I pray every day with a sincere heart. I study the Bible and I’ve learned to let go of some sinful acts I’ve been committing. I’m not even sad that I’m lonely anymore. But yet, I still feel stuck in isolation and it just makes me feel guilty. I mean, don’t demons like to hide themselves in the shadows? I know it’s for a different reason but the fact that I am hiding at all is why I’m scared that it’s wrong. And I still have this fear of moving forward and this doubt that I will never fit in. I am just so confused on what to do.
As a natural introvert, (melancholic) I know your pain. I've learned a lot over my 50 years in Jesus. One thing was that isolation is bearable (for me at least) but not good. I saw it for what it was when I had a Weber kettle BBQ. While all the heat beads were in the kettle, they all glowed and all were hot. If a bead fell out, it would lose the heat and go dark. Christians are part of the body and independence leads to stunted growth.

Melancholics are also prone to self examination. This is unhealthy as we find it near impossible to be objective. We have unrealistic expectations of ourselves and others. We are those who look at a really nice donut but can only see the hole.

The answer is never found in ourselves. We are born again and no longer need to be bound by temperament. Anyone in Christ is a new creation. Because of the cross, we die to the old nature. Then we rise with Christ to new life. When I finally saw this, my life changed completely. I'm still "me". I'm not the "life of the party" or a driven go getter. But I am no longer tearing myself to bits, looking for problems and living in my own world.

Hebrews tells us to fix our eyes on Jesus. That's the best advice for the introvert. Remember that Jesus considers you worth dying for. He loves you enough to want to change you, and He has the power to do just that. Jesus is all that we should be but can never be. We need to lose hope in ourselves. But if we do not replace that with hope in Jesus, we end up in despair. Romans 7 is followed by Romans 8. Romans 7 is a necessary experience for the Christian who wants to be spiritual. But Romans 8 is how we overcome.
 

NickV

New member
Jul 13, 2023
13
12
3
#3
I’ve been isolated for a long time and I’m not sure if it is wrong because I’ve learned that isolating is considered sin because I’m leaning on my own understanding of social interactions. I fear being judged by others and looked down on for my imperfections so I prefer to just stay away. I feel like I just don’t fit in with the world. It’s not that I don’t want to seek fellowship with others, I love interacting with people especially those who accept me for who I am, have a genuine heart, and make me feel comfortable. I just feel like there’s not a lot of that these days. I find myself having trust issues and letting go of a lot of potential friendships. It is not my desire to just stay away and do nothing as I want to do God’s will and move forward with my life, but I feel stuck. I can’t help but have this fear and anxiety to reach out. I just don’t feel emotionally equipped to do so.

Now what really confuses me is that I’ve also learned that isolation can be a good thing. When someone is in isolation, it can be a sign that God is preparing them for their purpose in life. Helping them to grow in spirit to prepare them for what’s to come. Yes, I do feel like I’m growing in spirit as I pray every day with a sincere heart. I study the Bible and I’ve learned to let go of some sinful acts I’ve been committing. I’m not even sad that I’m lonely anymore. But yet, I still feel stuck in isolation and it just makes me feel guilty. I mean, don’t demons like to hide themselves in the shadows? I know it’s for a different reason but the fact that I am hiding at all is why I’m scared that it’s wrong. And I still have this fear of moving forward and this doubt that I will never fit in. I am just so confused on what to do.
Im in a similar position, But I hear the voice of the Holy spirit. I really dont like churches nowadays and am reluctant to go, but really it is fear that hold me back, because I know if I join with the body of christ the world i know and who I am now must die. I truly think that leaning on jesus, not relying on your own understanding is the hardest part of being a christian, because that means that you must let go of all control that you are illusioned to have. This is my struggle as well as many people on earth. You are not alone, but one thing ive learned from the spirit is sometimes God has a door for you to knock on so he can open it for you, but that dosnt mean the door is right in your reach. you may have to break down walls and go far to reach what God has in store. He wont move you to it because he wants you to run to him. I know God is waiting for me to move to him but he wont make me or push me. Yes isolation can be Good, jesus isolated himself for forty days, but not his whole life. Think, God has so much in store for me, and i want that, but yet I dont run to him like i should. We can either wither away and loose all the plans God intended for us to have, Or face our greatest fears, our most difficult choices and go to him. Social settings that treat you like you dont belong are not of God, and when you know that you see how many christians will be told " Turn away from me for I have never known you" just because these are christian places does not mean they are followers of christ. The pharisees followed God yet when God was on earth he called them vipers and hypocrites. Seek and you shall find. do not go to one or two places and give up, But like the bible says seek with your TRUE heart and it will be given to you. I know god has alot in store for you because he has the same wishes for me.

Also your time alone with God has prepared you to love God above all others and rely on him and not people. yes for a time you were training but that time was not intended to last forever. Jonah ran from God and look what happened. he manned up and Feared god and did what he was told. So seek. He who has ears let him hear. He who has eyes let him see.
 
May 22, 2024
50
11
8
#4
I still feel stuck in isolation and it just makes me feel guilty. I mean, don’t demons like to hide themselves in the shadows? I know it’s for a different reason but the fact that I am hiding at all is why I’m scared that it’s wrong. And I still have this fear of moving forward and this doubt that I will never fit in. I am just so confused on what to do.
Don't you have a job, or college to go to, if I'll, doctors appointments, what about old friends, your church etc etc etc.

Just as we are created for a relationship with God, so we are also intended for fe..owship with other people.

Breaking habits is hard work, but unless you physically cannot get out, you should start going out and to start mixing with people you know again.

Slip in the back of the midweek church meeting, slip out at the end after speaking to one or two people and build on that.
Make contact with old friends online. Make contact with your pastor, I'm sure he would welcome you to church.
Take it step by step rebuilding relationships with people you knew.
 

Subhumanoidal

Well-known member
Sep 17, 2018
3,745
2,913
113
#5
I’ve been isolated for a long time and I’m not sure if it is wrong because I’ve learned that isolating is considered sin because I’m leaning on my own understanding of social interactions. I fear being judged by others and looked down on for my imperfections so I prefer to just stay away. I feel like I just don’t fit in with the world. It’s not that I don’t want to seek fellowship with others, I love interacting with people especially those who accept me for who I am, have a genuine heart, and make me feel comfortable. I just feel like there’s not a lot of that these days. I find myself having trust issues and letting go of a lot of potential friendships. It is not my desire to just stay away and do nothing as I want to do God’s will and move forward with my life, but I feel stuck. I can’t help but have this fear and anxiety to reach out. I just don’t feel emotionally equipped to do so.

Now what really confuses me is that I’ve also learned that isolation can be a good thing. When someone is in isolation, it can be a sign that God is preparing them for their purpose in life. Helping them to grow in spirit to prepare them for what’s to come. Yes, I do feel like I’m growing in spirit as I pray every day with a sincere heart. I study the Bible and I’ve learned to let go of some sinful acts I’ve been committing. I’m not even sad that I’m lonely anymore. But yet, I still feel stuck in isolation and it just makes me feel guilty. I mean, don’t demons like to hide themselves in the shadows? I know it’s for a different reason but the fact that I am hiding at all is why I’m scared that it’s wrong. And I still have this fear of moving forward and this doubt that I will never fit in. I am just so confused on what to do.
Well it seems you're operating contradiction.
First you say isolation is a sin, then you say God isolates people to prepare them. How can it be both? So right off the bat you're coming from a position of wrong thinking.
Isolation isn't a sin. Neither can you default to it being God. It sounds like you have social anxiety. Something lots of people have. It's neither God nor a sin.
As a person that has always had a tendency to isolate, and now stuck being isolated, I can say it does have it's benefits, for a time.
But it is also not healthy, long term. Isolated people actually tend to live shorter lives than people who regularly are in contact with others. Especially if there's plenty of physical contact.
A time of isolation can be good for introspection and some growth, but the bible says iron sharpens iron.

As far as isolation equating to leaning on your own understanding, ridiculous. You can lean on your own understanding surrounded by people as well.

At the end of the day you have a social anxiety problem, as well as self steem problem. Some people are more naturally prone to anxiety. It's up to you to decide if you're going to sit in it or do something about it.
Take it from someone that's been largely isolated for years, and not always by choice, it gets old. You get bored. And lonely. Yet it becomes harder to consider the idea of stepping out of it because you spend so much time focused on yourself and doing things your own way that the idea of anyone disrupting it makes it more difficult to change. I know from experience.
So decide what it is you want to do, then begin taking steps to do it. Or sit in isolation and reap the consequences.
Just remember, the longer you do something the harder it becomes to change.
 

Eli1

Well-known member
Apr 5, 2022
3,507
1,233
113
46
#6
I’ve been isolated for a long time and I’m not sure if it is wrong because I’ve learned that isolating is considered sin because I’m leaning on my own understanding of social interactions. I fear being judged by others and looked down on for my imperfections so I prefer to just stay away. I feel like I just don’t fit in with the world. It’s not that I don’t want to seek fellowship with others, I love interacting with people especially those who accept me for who I am, have a genuine heart, and make me feel comfortable. I just feel like there’s not a lot of that these days. I find myself having trust issues and letting go of a lot of potential friendships. It is not my desire to just stay away and do nothing as I want to do God’s will and move forward with my life, but I feel stuck. I can’t help but have this fear and anxiety to reach out. I just don’t feel emotionally equipped to do so.

Now what really confuses me is that I’ve also learned that isolation can be a good thing. When someone is in isolation, it can be a sign that God is preparing them for their purpose in life. Helping them to grow in spirit to prepare them for what’s to come. Yes, I do feel like I’m growing in spirit as I pray every day with a sincere heart. I study the Bible and I’ve learned to let go of some sinful acts I’ve been committing. I’m not even sad that I’m lonely anymore. But yet, I still feel stuck in isolation and it just makes me feel guilty. I mean, don’t demons like to hide themselves in the shadows? I know it’s for a different reason but the fact that I am hiding at all is why I’m scared that it’s wrong. And I still have this fear of moving forward and this doubt that I will never fit in. I am just so confused on what to do.
It's very difficult to give any advice to anyone online who's dealing with mental or health struggles because it's impossible to know someone's situation but all i want to tell you is that isolation is not a sin.
There are monks who spent their entire lives alone.
 

SomeDisciple

Well-known member
Jul 4, 2021
1,923
867
113
#7
I mean, don’t demons like to hide themselves in the shadows?
No. Demons hide in plain sight... but he who dwells in the shelter of the Most High will rest in the shadow of the Almighty.
 

blueluna5

Well-known member
Jul 30, 2018
580
338
63
#8
I’ve been isolated for a long time and I’m not sure if it is wrong because I’ve learned that isolating is considered sin because I’m leaning on my own understanding of social interactions. I fear being judged by others and looked down on for my imperfections so I prefer to just stay away. I feel like I just don’t fit in with the world. It’s not that I don’t want to seek fellowship with others, I love interacting with people especially those who accept me for who I am, have a genuine heart, and make me feel comfortable. I just feel like there’s not a lot of that these days. I find myself having trust issues and letting go of a lot of potential friendships. It is not my desire to just stay away and do nothing as I want to do God’s will and move forward with my life, but I feel stuck. I can’t help but have this fear and anxiety to reach out. I just don’t feel emotionally equipped to do so.

Now what really confuses me is that I’ve also learned that isolation can be a good thing. When someone is in isolation, it can be a sign that God is preparing them for their purpose in life. Helping them to grow in spirit to prepare them for what’s to come. Yes, I do feel like I’m growing in spirit as I pray every day with a sincere heart. I study the Bible and I’ve learned to let go of some sinful acts I’ve been committing. I’m not even sad that I’m lonely anymore. But yet, I still feel stuck in isolation and it just makes me feel guilty. I mean, don’t demons like to hide themselves in the shadows? I know it’s for a different reason but the fact that I am hiding at all is why I’m scared that it’s wrong. And I still have this fear of moving forward and this doubt that I will never fit in. I am just so confused on what to do.
I would be easy on yourself, as it seems like there's a legit reason you're behaving like this.

So there are introverts, which are people who thrive being alone. It allows creativity to really flow. It doesn't mean you can't do something for others. But often you need to be creative with it. I also know people who fight being an introvert. I think both are fine but it's very genetic. In other words you're born an introvert or extrovert, but you can fight it either way. Just being the devil's advocate, God makes both, so perhaps there's a reason for that... 🤔

On the flip side you don't want to stay away from people bc of fear. That's something different. Also even though people are introverts, being isolated completely is different and can create mental health disorders. It's not natural and will make you depressed in the long run if habitual with no breaks.

I think you should talk to a therapist. It sounds like you're missing skills of some sort. Having trust issues is classic childhood trauma. You may not even realize you have it. It could have been unintentional emotional neglect. I have that bc my parents were very abused growing up and never developed the emotional skills to teach me growing up (despite that they removed the physical abuse and were trying to do right). You have trust issues bc somewhere along the way you were taught that you can only rely on yourself... and that was fine at the time bc it allowed you to move forward. It was a defense that protected you. But now it's hindering you and you need to find new skills to overcome it.
 
Aug 2, 2009
24,600
4,272
113
#9
Isolation's not a sin. David was isolated in the wilderness for years when he was hiding from King Saul. He wrote many of the Psalms during that time. Jesus was alone in the desert for 40 days.
 

justahumanbeing

Well-known member
Mar 25, 2020
452
250
63
#10
I’ve been isolated for a long time and I’m not sure if it is wrong because I’ve learned that isolating is considered sin because I’m leaning on my own understanding of social interactions. I fear being judged by others and looked down on for my imperfections so I prefer to just stay away. I feel like I just don’t fit in with the world. It’s not that I don’t want to seek fellowship with others, I love interacting with people especially those who accept me for who I am, have a genuine heart, and make me feel comfortable. I just feel like there’s not a lot of that these days. I find myself having trust issues and letting go of a lot of potential friendships. It is not my desire to just stay away and do nothing as I want to do God’s will and move forward with my life, but I feel stuck. I can’t help but have this fear and anxiety to reach out. I just don’t feel emotionally equipped to do so.

Now what really confuses me is that I’ve also learned that isolation can be a good thing. When someone is in isolation, it can be a sign that God is preparing them for their purpose in life. Helping them to grow in spirit to prepare them for what’s to come. Yes, I do feel like I’m growing in spirit as I pray every day with a sincere heart. I study the Bible and I’ve learned to let go of some sinful acts I’ve been committing. I’m not even sad that I’m lonely anymore. But yet, I still feel stuck in isolation and it just makes me feel guilty. I mean, don’t demons like to hide themselves in the shadows? I know it’s for a different reason but the fact that I am hiding at all is why I’m scared that it’s wrong. And I still have this fear of moving forward and this doubt that I will never fit in. I am just so confused on what to do.
Where is it ever said in the Bible that introversion or going into silence is a sin? It is there, in that silence, away from all the outward noises that anyone can hope to find God and find peace. No, it's not wrong.

As a human being, you would be surprised how much you are capable of socialising when the need arises. But when there is no need, you don't have to talk to anyone. Who said that being a silent person is demonic? That's a wrong way of thinking. We are all individuals born of God's Holy Spirit and when we die, we return to God. Our soul returns to our Creator.

Detaching yourself from the world can be a good thing. If there is a need, you can definitely reintroduce yourself to society. You're alright. Don't worry.
 
Jun 15, 2024
75
36
18
#11
I would say seek the Lord about what is going on and let him move those things that might hinder you from truly being set free fear of rejection is one thing that jumps out at me but im not the one to say for sure God is.