The Best Marriage Advice in the World

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prove-all

Senior Member
May 16, 2014
5,977
400
83
58
#1
The Best Marriage Advice in the World

From the Maker of husbands and wives


Why did God create human beings male and female? He made us in His own image and like-
ness, but unlike Himself, he split us into two sexes (Genesis 1:26-27). He carefully, intricately
and brilliantly created us to complement each other physically, mentally and emotionally.
Together in marriage, we two become “one flesh” (Genesis 2:23-24).

These differences are complementary—but they are differences. If you don’t understand them
or you work against them or you try to ignore or erase them, they will cause unending perplexity,
frustration and friction.

The Creator of male and female sent along instructions for how to make His creation function
marvelously. Ephesians 5:22-33 encapsulate these principles better than bookshelves full of
self-help books with marriage advice. But it takes a lot of depth to truly understand it, and it
takes faith to apply it.

To women who want to understand men, the Apostle Paul says, “Wives, submit yourselves unto
your own husbands, as unto the Lord. For the husband is the head of the wife, even as Christ is
the head of the church: and he is the saviour of the body. Therefore as the church is subject unto
Christ, so let the wives be to their own husbands in every thing” (verses 22-24).

A woman who applies this instruction will be fulfilling a man’s greatest need from her: respect.
God made the man to excel when admired and encouraged by the woman. God made him to be
respected as the leader and to be bolstered and encouraged by her recognition of his achievements.

He needs the loyalty and support of the woman. He needs to be understood for his masculine
interests, drives and ambitions. He needs honest feedback and responsive support for his ideas,
suggestions and requests. Her appreciation for the things he does gives him a kind of confidence
that only she can provide.

Women, don’t view this need in men as a weakness—treat it as God’s design.
Accept it, embrace it, and make yourself expert in meeting that need!


To men who want to understand women, Paul says, “Husbands, love your wives, even as Christ
also loved the church, and gave himself for it; That he might sanctify and cleanse it with the washing
of water by the word, That he might present it to himself a glorious church, not having spot, or wrinkle,
or any such thing; but that it should be holy and without blemish. So ought men to love their wives as
their own bodies. He that loveth his wife loveth himself” (verses 25-28).

A man who applies this instruction will be fulfilling a woman’s greatest need from him: love. A woman
needs attention. She needs appreciation, approval and sincere compliments. She needs people and
personal relationships. She needs to be loved, respected and treated with tenderness.
She needs a shoulder to cry on without fear of rejection. Her opinions and wisdom count, and she needs
to know that the man recognizes that. She needs to know a man appreciates her differences and tries to
understand her emotional makeup. She needs him to be sensitive, protective and caring of her total welfare.

Don’t view this need as a weakness. Realize that it is God’s design.
Accept it, embrace it, and make yourself expert in meeting her need!


Ephesians 5 boils this all down to one marvelous verse: “Nevertheless let every one of you in particular
so love his wife even as himself; and the wife see that she reverence [respect, venerate, treat with deference]
her husband” (verse 33). This is a command, but it’s also an insight into the deepest needs of men and women:
Women need love—men need respect.

When both the man’s needs and the woman’s needs are met, a virtuous cycle begins. A woman who is
loved finds it far easier to show respect. A man who is respected finds it far easier to show love.

When those needs are not met, the cycle turns vicious: If a woman doesn’t receive love, she tends to
withhold respect. If a man doesn’t receive respect, he tends to withhold love. This is the natural
tendency, and when we give in to it, marriages become train wrecks.

Ephesians 5 does not say, Husbands, love her as long as she respects you, or, Wives, reverence him as
long as he shows love. For this to work, husbands must love unconditionally; wives must respect unconditionally. A man must love his wife, even when she isn’t lovable. He must govern his thoughts
and actions toward love. A wife must respect her husband even when he isn’t respectable. She must
govern her thoughts so as not just to show reverence, but to be reverent.


God’s ground rules for marriage are all about the way of give. A man must give love to a woman. A woman
must give reverence and submission to a man. A man must give godly leadership to a woman—leadership
that earns her respect and that is a joy to submit to. And a woman must be a lovable woman, to recognize,
encourage and receive a man’s love.

This one verse is the world’s best marriage advice! If a husband and wife apply it,
they are guaranteed to solve and avoid countless misunderstandings and problems,
and build a harmonious marriage filled with respect and love!

MAY 2018 The Best Marriage Advice in the World
https://www.thetrumpet.com/17104-the-best-marriage-advice-in-the-world
 

PeterJames

Senior Member
Feb 13, 2017
111
12
18
#2
With all love and respect, I disagree with the conclusions made in this original post.

The original post does have it right on that men and women are very different persons in terms of their emotional characteristics, but that does not automatically equate to mean that a woman should submit herself to a man. It also does not follow from the fact there are biological and spiritual differences between the sexes that this automatically means the Scriptures hold a complementarian view of marriage. It is absolutely true that the woman is the help-meet of the man in the original design, but a help meet does not necessarily equate to submission to a male leadership authority.

I do agree that the key to understanding family and understanding the roles women and men play inside of marriage are found in Ephesians 5; however, a very valuable verse should be considered in light of chapter. Ephesians 5:

20Giving thanks always for all things unto God and the Father in the name of our Lord Jesus Christ; 21Submitting yourselves one to another in the fear of God.

Wives are not to "solely" submit to the husband; the husband is *also* supposed to submit to the wife. What else could be meant when it says "submitting yourselves one to another in the fear of God."

We submit to each other; marriage should be seen as an egalitarian partnership. The metaphor to Christ as the "head" is in reference to His sacrificial death. If a man wants to be "head" of his house, then he must die for his wife just like Christ died. This metaphor should not be extended to mean "Lordship" as the text does not demand it. It only talks about Christ's headship in terms of sacrificial death and giving.

- Peter James
 
U

Ugly

Guest
#3
Yet the verses you quote in Ephesians are Not marital in nature, but a general speaking to the church as a whole.
And the very next verse is Clearly aimed at marriage specifically.

How you get dying is the only way for these verses to be true is beyond bizarre.
22 Wives, submit to your own husbands, as to the Lord. 23 For the husband is the head of the wife even as Christ is the head of the church, his body, and is himself its Savior. 24 Now as the church submits to Christ, so also wives should submit in everything to their husbands.
 

PeterJames

Senior Member
Feb 13, 2017
111
12
18
#4
Yet the verses you quote in Ephesians are Not marital in nature, but a general speaking to the church as a whole.
And the very next verse is Clearly aimed at marriage specifically.

How you get dying is the only way for these verses to be true is beyond bizarre.
22 Wives, submit to your own husbands, as to the Lord. 23 For the husband is the head of the wife even as Christ is the head of the church, his body, and is himself its Savior. 24 Now as the church submits to Christ, so also wives should submit in everything to their husbands.
I get this by a clear reading of the text:

22Wives, submit yourselves unto your own husbands, as unto the Lord. 23For the husband is the head of the wife, even as Christ is the head of the church: and he is the saviour of the body. 24Therefore as the church is subject unto Christ, so let the wives be to their own husbands in every thing.
25Husbands, love your wives, even as Christ also loved the church, and gave himself for it;

Christ gave Himself for the church; so too, if the husband wants to be the "head", he must give himself to the wife, or die for her.

Also, to simply dismiss verse 21 which is using the same greek word for submit in the context as verse 22 seems very "iffy" to me. Why wouldn't you consider verse 21 in the context of the passage? We can't wave a magical wand and dismiss it.
 

7seasrekeyed

Senior Member
Aug 27, 2017
8,148
3,484
113
#5
interesting

what people need to understand is that marriage is a covenant ordained by God

a covenant requires a sacrifice

both sexes are required to sacrifice on behalf of each other

We submit to each other; marriage should be seen as an egalitarian partnership. The metaphor to Christ as the "head" is in reference to His sacrificial death. If a man wants to be "head" of his house, then he must die for his wife just like Christ died. This metaphor should not be extended to mean "Lordship" as the text does not demand it. It only talks about Christ's headship in terms of sacrificial death and giving.
does describe the working out of a covenant

how that covenant works in a practical manner within any given marriage (only referring to Christians here ) is between the parties involved and does mean between the married couple and God who ordained the covenant

Great post prove-all
 

garee

Senior Member
Mar 28, 2016
11,508
1,003
113
#6
The original post does have it right on that men and women are very different persons in terms of their emotional characteristics, but that does not automatically equate to mean that a woman should submit herself to a man. It also does not follow from the fact there are biological and spiritual differences between the sexes that this automatically means the Scriptures hold a complementarian view of marriage. It is absolutely true that the woman is the help-meet of the man in the original design, but a help meet does not necessarily equate to submission to a male leadership authority.
No spiritual difference. One is in a greater position but not a greater authority . It takes two to perform a workable government.

It is like the peace of God that surpasses all understanding .Coming from the work of two working together.. the father and Son working together in perfect love and submission to each other, as that needed to finish the work .

He is despised and rejected of men; a man of sorrows, and acquainted with grief: and we hid as it were our faces from him; he was despised, and we esteemed him not. Surely he hath borne our griefs, and carried our sorrows: yet we did esteem him stricken, smitten of God, and afflicted. Isiah 53: 3-4

Yet it pleased the Lord to bruise him; he hath put him to grief: when thou shalt make his soul an offering for sin, he shall see his seed, he shall prolong his days, and the pleasure of the Lord shall prosper in his hand. Isiah 53:

Wife's submit unto their husband as if they as a representative glory were the true not see . Husband love their wives a outward representative of Christ's bride, the other part of the presentative glory as if we were Christ by denying one self .

I think it has something to do with like when men look to that seen, the lust of the eye, and a woman to represent the whole church (male and female) as the one bride look more past what the eyes see . Both working together as one the goal.

Woman in that way have the greater kind of responsibility in a world as a representative glory where mankind lust after the three avenues of the god of this world.

Making easy for the men to become invisible .

1 John 2:16 For all that is in the world, the lust of the flesh, and the lust of the eyes, and the pride of life, is not of the Father, but is of the world.
 

PeterJames

Senior Member
Feb 13, 2017
111
12
18
#7
It's good that people are discussing this post and thinking through the subject even if ultimately I am proven wrong; I would just add that something else to notice in Ephesians 5 is Paul's insistence, that the woman submit to her "own" husband as apparently a problem in the Ephesian church was the emotional ties on the part of women were occurring with those who were not the spouse. Just a thought. God Bless - Peter James
 

Karraster

Senior Member
Nov 10, 2013
3,128
478
83
#8
prove-all I completely agree with your post. This is the best marriage advise in the world. Our Creator certainly knows what it takes to make a happy marriage.