Women Proposing

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E

ELECT

Guest
#1
#1
:confused:Neither men nor women want a marriage proposal where she asks the guy to marry her, . Why?


Is it ever OK for a girl to propose to a guy?


Do some guys wish that the girl would propose to them ?

Guys what if the girl propose to you ?


If She Likes It Should She Put A Ring On It or just ask to marry without the ring ?

 
Last edited by a moderator:
Lynx

Lynx

Folksy yet erudite
#2
Aug 13, 2014
26,689
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#2
Hmm... you mentioned the ring, which puts a new dimension on the question. Traditionally the man buys the engagement rings.

Otherwise I would say yes, if the woman has been dropping hints and the man still hasn't popped "the question" then she might as well ask him. But what about those rings? It would be a bit of an affront for her to ask him to marry her, then say "Now go get the rings." But it would be a social solecism for her to buy them.
 
Loveneverfails

Loveneverfails

Senior Member
#3
Feb 18, 2013
1,294
26
0
#3
I'm old-fashioned. I would never be the one to propose. If others want to do that, then that's fine. It's between them. :)
 
Grace-Like-Rain

Grace-Like-Rain

Senior Member
#4
Sep 6, 2013
4,430
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#4
The whole "proposal" thing really kind of baffles me anyway. It seems that something as serious as marriage would have been discussed mutually and in-depth before any proposal was made, and both sides would already know how the other side was feeling toward it. Am I wrong in this? I suppose one side has to formally ask "the question", but that's... just a formality, right?

(But yeah, I'd rather that particular formality be on the guy's side.) :p
 
M

MisterHarmony

Senior Member
#5
Jan 31, 2014
129
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#5
The only problem is that you wouldn't want the guy to feel like any less of a man.
 
S

Shouryu

Guest
#6
#6
ELECT said:
:confused:Neither men nor women want a marriage proposal where she asks the guy to marry her, . Why?
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Says who? That's awfully assumptive.

I'd have no issues if the woman I loved proposed to me before I got to it. The only thing holding me back from proposing to The Ex was I was still buying the stupid rock (had already bought the ring, not the rock). If she'd proposed to me first, I wouldn't have even flinched.

MisterHarmony said:
The only problem is that you wouldn't want the guy to feel like any less of a man.
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I think it says more about that man's fragile concept of masculinity that they would feel cowed by their woman proposing to them than anything else. My masculinity is not defined or threatened by a woman wanting to marry me and being vocal about it. I'm pretty sure Boaz didn't feel his masculinity was threatened with Ruth snuck into his bedroom and pulled his pants off while he was sleeping. :p
 
hoss2576

hoss2576

Senior Member
#7
May 10, 2014
552
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#7
If she presents me with an onion ring, absolutely, I am all over her proposing.
 
W

Wandering_Here

Guest
#8
#8
Grace-Like-Rain said:
The whole "proposal" thing really kind of baffles me anyway. It seems that something as serious as marriage would have been discussed mutually and in-depth before any proposal was made, and both sides would already know how the other side was feeling toward it. Am I wrong in this? I suppose one side has to formally ask "the question", but that's... just a formality, right?

(But yeah, I'd rather that particular formality be on the guy's side.) :p
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53810684.jpg
And that sums up my thoughts.
 
M

musicguy85

Guest
#9
#9
I'm all for a woman being up front and making the move in the majority of situations. When it comes to a proposal I still see it as something I'd prefer to do, formally. When it has come to that point, I would completely agree that this should have been discussed to some great detail and shouldn't be much of a surprise.
 
cinder

cinder

Senior Member
#10
Mar 26, 2014
4,414
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#10
hoss2576 said:
If she presents me with an onion ring, absolutely, I am all over her proposing.
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You may have difficulty with a single onion ring. Onion rings are usually sold in batches and if she has a whole batch and is only willing to share one, well that doesn't seem like true love, does it?
 
AsifinPassing

AsifinPassing

Senior Member
#11
Jul 13, 2010
3,608
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#11
I'm good with it. Honestly, I'm a mix of old and new. I don't really hold fast to gender roles, nor am I an advocate against them. I do believe in chivalry, civility, and Christianity. I don't try to go about them in arrogant or otherwise ways... I simply believe in being kind and respectful. I'm an Eagle scout, a musician, once an athlete, a scholar, a scientist, a philosopher, a man of God, and many other things... With God's help, I try to understand truth and reality. I don't take things at face value, and will test ideas. I don't need anyone's approval, save God's, and I'm the only one responsible for me at the end of the day. We all stand fall before God.

So...either way. She can ask me, or I can ask her. I think partnership is a team effort, and I've never been a fan of or particularly good at fitting into molds.
 
JesusChica1991

JesusChica1991

Banned
#12
May 9, 2012
1,514
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#12
Personally, I don't mind. But if my daddy finds out I'm the one that proposed...well, that'd be a night never to forget XD
 
zeroturbulence

zeroturbulence

Senior Member
#13
Aug 2, 2009
24,641
4,300
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#13
If it comes to the point where the girl feels she has to propose...the guy's probably not gonna make a very good husband.
 
wisebeardman

wisebeardman

Banned
#14
Mar 22, 2013
4,718
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Indiana
#14
zeroturbulence said:
If it comes to the point where the girl feels she has to propose...the guy's probably not gonna make a very good husband.
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not true. Some people like me don't ask anyone for anything. So if she really wanted me she is going to have to say something. otherwise ill just go on about my day
 
M

MisterHarmony

Senior Member
#15
Jan 31, 2014
129
2
0
#15
Shouryu said:
Says who? That's awfully assumptive.

I'd have no issues if the woman I loved proposed to me before I got to it. The only thing holding me back from proposing to The Ex was I was still buying the stupid rock (had already bought the ring, not the rock). If she'd proposed to me first, I wouldn't have even flinched.



I think it says more about that man's fragile concept of masculinity that they would feel cowed by their woman proposing to them than anything else. My masculinity is not defined or threatened by a woman wanting to marry me and being vocal about it. I'm pretty sure Boaz didn't feel his masculinity was threatened with Ruth snuck into his bedroom and pulled his pants off while he was sleeping. :p
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If its not discussed beforehand and the woman just goes for it, I think its a little presumptuous of her to just hope it doesn't effect the man's feeling of masculinity. And this world can certainly beat a man down to a fragile concept of masculinity. That is not the man's fault either. Its a difficult world to be in.

I think if the two people are truly in love it wouldn't matter one bit. I suppose I am answering the question more generally, because true love is rare indeed, and difficult to harness in this world.
 
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ServantStrike

Guest
#16
#16
zeroturbulence said:
If it comes to the point where the girl feels she has to propose...the guy's probably not gonna make a very good husband.
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Yeah seriously.

wisebeardman said:
not true. Some people like me don't ask anyone for anything. So if she really wanted me she is going to have to say something. otherwise ill just go on about my day
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Oh come now, you'd have to want the same thing already if you were going to say yes any ways. Are you saying that you've never taken steps to ensure a certain outcome in your life? That's all a marriage proposal is.

MisterHarmony said:
If its not discussed beforehand and the woman just goes for it, I think its a little presumptuous of her to just hope it doesn't effect the man's feeling of masculinity. And this world can certainly beat a man down to a fragile concept of masculinity. That is not the man's fault either. Its a difficult world to be in.

I think if the two people are truly in love it wouldn't matter one bit. I suppose I am answering the question more generally, because true love is rare indeed, and difficult to harness in this world.
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It depends.

Most women who propose fit into one of two categories

1: They're tired of waiting. Dead tired. I've seen way too many women who say they've been with their boyfriend for 3-5 years. Rather than take a hint and move on to someone who actually feels like committing, they try and force this man-child into commitment by proposing. Maybe the man-child takes a hint and says yes. It seems like a rocky start to a marriage to me though.

2. They just know this is something they want, so they go for it. As long as a sufficient period of time has passed, this isn't so bad is it? At least she knows what she wants.


As for the world beating a guy down, there was a time I'd say I was right in that boat with you. My suggestion is try different things - try lifting some weights if you're healthy enough (within a few months your confidence levels will soar and your testosterone levels will too), listen to edgy music (if it amps you up), get some fresh air, or learn a new skill. Mastering something makes any man feel like a boss. Seriously anyone with internet access can learn new skills today.
 
Angela53510

Angela53510

Senior Member
#17
Jan 24, 2011
11,786
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#17
My husband and I sort of mutually agreed we wanted to get married. The result was that I got the engagement ring for our 30th anniversary!! Probably because we finally had some money to buy it!

Three of my kids went with the romantic proposal, ring and everything. On the top of the Rocky Mountains, the beaches on the west coast and fancy wedding to follow. My youngest son and his wife eloped while he was playing hockey in Salt Lake City, and she was working in LA. She got the ring a discount on Christmas Eve. I kind of liked the fancy weddings, and regret I wasn't there to see my son, complete with his black eye, married.

I guess I am more of a romantic than I thought!
 
S

ServantStrike

Guest
#18
#18
Angela53510 said:
My husband and I sort of mutually agreed we wanted to get married. The result was that I got the engagement ring for our 30th anniversary!! Probably because we finally had some money to buy it!

Three of my kids went with the romantic proposal, ring and everything. On the top of the Rocky Mountains, the beaches on the west coast and fancy wedding to follow. My youngest son and his wife eloped while he was playing hockey in Salt Lake City, and she was working in LA. She got the ring a discount on Christmas Eve. I kind of liked the fancy weddings, and regret I wasn't there to see my son, complete with his black eye, married.

I guess I am more of a romantic than I thought!
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Fancy wedding = down payment on a house. Romance isn't as sexy as home ownership.

A small ceremony isn't so bad- although no ceremony is kind of rough.
 
S

Shouryu

Guest
#19
#19
MisterHarmony said:
If its not discussed beforehand and the woman just goes for it, I think its a little presumptuous of her to just hope it doesn't effect the man's feeling of masculinity. And this world can certainly beat a man down to a fragile concept of masculinity. That is not the man's fault either. Its a difficult world to be in.
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Now we're both guilty of assuming; there was no quantifier on the original question concerning discussion beforehand. As a result, you assumed little-to-no discussion, and I assumed a great deal of discussion. Personally, I would expect that marriage was discussed extensively prior to the proposal, regardless of who does the proposing.

And nobody forces you into a concept of masculinity, no matter what you may think. You aren't held to THIS WORLD'S standards: "Do not be conformed to THIS WORLD (emphasis mine), but be transformed by the renewing of your mind, that by testing you might discern what is the will of God, what is acceptable, good, and perfect." (Romans 12:2 and some change.). If you stop trying to please the world, then who cares what anyone other than Yahweh has to say about your masculinity?

(Call it a Jesus-juke if you want. Still applicable.)
 
wisebeardman

wisebeardman

Banned
#20
Mar 22, 2013
4,718
124
63
Indiana
#20
ServantStrike said:
Oh come now, you'd have to want the same thing already if you were going to say yes any ways. Are you saying that you've never taken steps to ensure a certain outcome in your life? That's all a marriage proposal is.
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Never been there and if some strange thing happened and I was. I still would not ask. I don't ask people for stuff. And if some woman wants something to do with me she is going to have to tell me strait up. I don't do wishy washy stuff.
 
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