Great Expectations

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Jullianna

Guest
#1
#1
I have extremely unreasonable expectations of myself that are far greater than my expectations of others. Not sure why that is, but when I mess up, I can kick myself for a veeeeeeeeeeerrrrrrrrry long time...*sigh* Especially when it comes to my walk with the Lord. I hate letting Him down...

But tonight He led me to Sarah, the wife of Abraham. A woman who saw the hand of God work in mighty ways and heard His voice. Yet...at a very advanced age, when she surely should have known better...she laughed. And then she messed up big time by giving her maid servant to bear her husband's child, an "Ishmael" if you will that has led to centuries of conflict in the Middle East. Yet we view her still as an amazing woman of the faith. At least I do when I see her NOT discouraging her husband when he wanted to packed up and take off to parts unknown, and showed signs of incredible obedience to her God and her husband in several passages.

Maybe I could cut myself a little slack.. He forgives me, encourages me, and lifts me up when I fall. I think He would want me to do the same for myself. I'm thinking it's better to take your lumps, get back on the horse and stay in the race than to stay in one place kicking yourself.

Lord, I understand Your lesson du jour (one of several actually). Help me make it happen.

Anyone else ever feel that way?
 
zeroturbulence

zeroturbulence

Senior Member
#2
Aug 2, 2009
24,581
4,269
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#2
When I was a younger man (ahem. cough! cough!), I had to attend a church function because I was going to be appointed someone's Godfather. Well the minister gave us a little sermon that stuck in my mind and I still remember the message after all these years. He said that once we realize we made a mistake and are sorry for that mistake, God has already forgiven us...but the problem is that we often cannot forgive ourselves.

A great lady preacher that I listen to sometimes says that if we do not forgive ourselves, and keep condemning ourselves for something that God has already forgiven, we are putting our own opinion above God's.

So learn to forgive yourself. You are only human after all. When we cry out for God's forgiveness He remembers that we were made from dust.

"As a father has compassion on his children, so the LORD has compassion on those who fear him; for he knows how we are formed, he remembers that we are dust." - Psalm 103:13-14 NIV
 
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kayem77

Guest
#3
#3
YES!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I mean...ahem,yes I do sometimes.
My expectations of myself are a world bigger than my expectations of anybody else, and sometimes it's so hard to me when I fail to have a clear view because the image of my failure is simply TOO big for myself to handle. I remind myself that I wear the name of Christ, and that my life is not my own and I take that as a big responsability(or at least I try to) so when I fail, well... it sucks :). But as you said, why stay behind kicking myself rather to continue the race? I'm sure God wouldn't like that, and that's when I repeat to myself that he doesn't expect me to be perfect, he only expects me to keep holding on to him, fortunately! whewwww
 
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rus_lady

Guest
#4
#4
yes , i am the same way :/ at times i expect pretty much from myself then from others and when i mess something up i kick myself for quiet some time ...oh well ....
 
C

Crossfire

Guest
#5
#5




We all miss the mark at times. Personally, I can't begin to count the times that I have stumbled. The beauty of the gospel is that it doesn't matter how many times we fall, our heavenly Father will be right there to pick us up and dust us off once we realize that we have strayed from the path.

However, if there's one thing that I have learned from my experiences, it is this:

It is the grace of God which inspires holiness in us. As I look back at all the times that the Lord has forgiven me for my past mistakes, my heart can't help but to swell in deep adoration for the Father and His never ending love and kindness toward me. The more of his love and mercy that I experience in my own life, the more love and mercy that I begin to feel for others. The more love and kindness that I feel towards others, the more my flesh (selfishness) begins to loose it's hold over my life. :)

 
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Jullianna

Guest
#6
#6
well said :)
 
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Fields001

Guest
#7
#7
Same here, I put myself on a pedistal (for some weird reason) and set way too high of goals or standards. And most of the time I end up letting myself down. I also have a very hard time forgiving myself and letting things go but am usually very quick to forgive others.

But I thank God that I've finally learned to give myself some slack. It's much easier that way.
 
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Kooper

Guest
#8
#8
My infp nature causes me to drown myself most of the time. Especially when I think and know that I've done wrong. And rarely, when those expectations are accomplished waaay beyond what is supposed to be met. A line of questioning shows up, and I wonder if I've done enough, too much or too little. Theres this failure by default mentality that floods my mind every so often. After remorsing over said and supposed failure, I pick up self up and continue to try again.
 
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Tobby17

Guest
#9
#9
You know, i was sinned against God, and i just couldn't forgive myself. Since it's something i've done over and over again. And said sorry over and over again. So i said, maybe i'm not really sorry for this and i'm just wasting God's time and then i just continued it and didn't ask God for forgiveness again. And then it later led to me asking *am i still saved?*..And even till now, i'm unsure about my spiritual status.

To cut the long story short, i just read this thread, and i will just go now and ask God to forgive me :). I probably should just let go and stop hating myself.

Thanks Julianna for this thread :)
 
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Jullianna

Guest
#10
#10
Tobby, I will be praying for you sweetie that God will release you from whatever it is that is dragging you down. He loves you. He sees your heart and knows that you don't want to do whatever it is. Let Him help you overcome it and don't try to do it all yourself *hugs*
 
zeroturbulence

zeroturbulence

Senior Member
#11
Aug 2, 2009
24,581
4,269
113
#11
Don't hate yourself, Toby. If God can forgive Paul who made a living imprisoning, torturing and even killing christians, He can certainly forgive whatever you did and will do.

"I persecuted the followers of this Way to their death, arresting both men and women and throwing them into prison" - Acts 22:4
 
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wyler

Guest
#12
#12
We read a lot on this forum about how within the label of 'Christians' there are those that are and those that just say they are.
While it is always true that allowance must be made for how different personalitiy types affect our reactions, I have learned that this tendency to be slow to forgive ourselves is a sign of someone who really tries to live the word of God.

I always find it baffling when people, some in my own family, go to Church and then willfully ignore a fundamental belief, commit sin......and seem not remotely bothered by it and continue with seemingly no inner confilct.
I have learned that this is just the way 'Sunday Christians' live, and it's how you can tell who is truly dedicated and who is on the edge, perhaps wanting to be commited by not yet anywhere close.

If you have this 'problem', as some would define it, I would take it as a big sign you are on the right path.

It does have it's dangers, being too !@#$%^&* yourself can stop you making progress, but in general I think it's good to convict yourself, it shows you have been listening, and learning, and are always checking yourself against the standard, and that is essential work.
 
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Jullianna

Guest
#13
#13
I think this is very true, wyler. There's an old song called Feel the Nails that really hits home. The chorus begins with, "Do You still feel the nails everytime I fail?" The lyricist clearly felt as I do at times.

Gabe, excellent point about Paul too. :)
 
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GreenNnice

Guest
#14
#14
Jullianna said:
I think this is very true, wyler. There's an old song called Feel the Nails that really hits home. The chorus begins with, "Do You still feel the nails everytime I fail?" The lyricist clearly felt as I do at times.

Gabe, excellent point about Paul too. :)
Click to expand...
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Great expectations. Yes, I do have them of myself, others too, sometimes greedily even, IF their work is on my dime.

Anyway, a girl I was seeing once sayd to me , '.green (protecting the innocent :D ), you're too hard on yourself . '.

That caused me some deep angst and then reflection as I realized she was right.

I viewed myself from then on differently , with God my focus and verses like ' Cast all your cares upon me,' and, 'your burdens are great but my yoke is easy.'

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Now my expectations of myself are tempered to the hands of God, I don't get worked up over things that used to discourage me and be dwelled on. Now , I say, 'bah, humbug,' when I get caught up in having too great of expectations of myself and my work, my play, and, others working for me. :)

Praise be to God ! His expectations of us are simple tho great. Follow Him.

The Lord leads.
 
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