How would you feel if you never got married even though you would of like to?

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Encouragement

Well-known member
Aug 25, 2020
1,474
1,289
113
#1
Hello today I was thinking about my life and stuff in general.There are am sure countless people in general who for whatever reason never got married through they would have wanted too...Christian and non Christian alike.Many women/men have experienced abusive partners in the past and never got the chance in life to experience someone falling in love with them In a genuine way.It makes me sad that this can happen..but I know that it does happen to some people.
For us as Christian's I know many would naturally want to meet someone special and get married..it's a perfectly natural desire to have and everyone has a different backgrounds.Some may have been married before and now are single,Some are single mums,Some may be widowed,others may have never had a relationship before,others have had relationships before yet for various reasons things didnt work out,some may have been hurt and though wanting to met someone is at the same time feeling anxious of being hurt again..the list goes on.
Personally I would want to met someone and get married most definitely yet at the same time honestly if it doesn't happen it wouldn't crush me (been through a lot over the years😔)..as the most important thing for me is to have done the will of God for my life though I am totally open to God regarding marriage too.I love romance and think its magical to meet someone special.
So my question is how would you feel if you never ended up meeting someone and got married even though you would want too?
How would it affect you view about God etc.Wanting to get married is a perfectly natural desire to have and the bible say that God gives us the desires of our heart and Paul also addresses the issue of wanting marriage in the context of going ahead rather than burn with passion.I know some people say they are not really bothered yet another time it shows that it does concern them somewhat.I know that women wanting to have children and their age too can also impact this too for some.I would love to hear you thoughts on this.
 

cinder

Senior Member
Mar 26, 2014
4,151
2,185
113
#2
I'm getting old enough that I'm much less concerned with magical infatuation sparks and much more concerned with someone to help take care of stuff if I become incapacitated or just someone to help with projects and help motivate me to do what I need to get done in a given week (if there were someone to help clean house, mow lawn, fix up yard, it might get done more often. Also those little things like if you fall down and can't get up there's at least someone around to call for help. But as I come to the limits of myself, well I think I'm going to have to learn that I can't do everything and start hiring people to help.
 

Encouragement

Well-known member
Aug 25, 2020
1,474
1,289
113
#3
I'm getting old enough that I'm much less concerned with magical infatuation sparks and much more concerned with someone to help take care of stuff if I become incapacitated or just someone to help with projects and help motivate me to do what I need to get done in a given week (if there were someone to help clean house, mow lawn, fix up yard, it might get done more often. Also those little things like if you fall down and can't get up there's at least someone around to call for help. But as I come to the limits of myself, well I think I'm going to have to learn that I can't do everything and start hiring people to help.
Hi hello Cinder thanks for checking our this thread.I see your point of view and the bible does say two are better than one for if either of then falls one can help the other up.Having someone there to help with certain practical things that you would struggle to do yourself is an obvious asset.Naturally having someone in our life to help I this way plus be a source of motivation and support for the things you do will most certainly make you feel they are special to you anyway and no doubt highly appreciate them for who they are.Love your responce.👍🏻😊
 

Lynx

Folksy yet erudite
Aug 13, 2014
20,083
5,838
113
#4
So my question is how would you feel if you never ended up meeting someone and got married even though you would want too?
How would it affect you view about God etc.Wanting to get married is a perfectly natural desire to have and the bible say that God gives us the desires of our heart and Paul also addresses the issue of wanting marriage in the context of going ahead rather than burn with passion.
How would it affect my view about God? Not sure I follow you there.

The Bible that says God will give us the desires of our hearts also says "Since we have food and clothing, let us be content." ;)

For myself, finding "true love" and being married is an optional, not a prerequisite. It's not something I feel I need to make my life complete, make me whole or make me successful. If I get to the end of my life and am still single, I will not consider my life a failure.
 
Jan 19, 2021
153
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28
www.angelicwarlord.com
#5
For myself, finding "true love" and being married is an optional, not a prerequisite. It's not something I feel I need to make my life complete, make me whole or make me successful. If I get to the end of my life and am still single, I will not consider my life a failure.
I cannot help but be reminded of I Corinthians 7:17: "Nevertheless, each person should live as a believer in whatever situation the Lord has assigned to them, just as God has called them. This is the rule I lay down in all the churches."

Well, what is each individuals unique calling and assignment in life? Obviously, for some that is getting married, starting a family, etc. What about those whose calling and assignment might be otherwise? Earlier in the same passage (verse 1) it states 'it is good for a many not to many'. So it is also safe to assume there are those whom can accomplish things in life single that they might otherwise might not be able if married.

Does this make sense?

As a life long single approaching 60, I am pretty much set in my ways and quite frankly do not have time for a relationship:

I work a full time + job in addition to running an antique business on the side. I also administer a Christian music website (my true 'assignment and calling').

It is so much easier to do the above as a single person without the attachments involved in a relationship. Not that there is anything wrong with being in a relationship. For example, this morning I read the following in Proverbs 12:4: "A wife of noble character is her husbands crown"

So yes I get it and am open to meeting the right person, but until then it is onwards and upwards...
 

Encouragement

Well-known member
Aug 25, 2020
1,474
1,289
113
#6
How would it affect my view about God? Not sure I follow you there.

The Bible that says God will give us the desires of our hearts also says "Since we have food and clothing, let us be content." ;)

For myself, finding "true love" and being married is an optional, not a prerequisite. It's not something I feel I need to make my life complete, make me whole or make me successful. If I get to the end of my life and am still single, I will not consider my life a failure.
Hi when I mentioned it maybe affecting ones view of God there are certain things for some people that are like a precious dream.So I know that for some getting married is a big thing and some even become depressed when they hear of other Christian friends meeting someone and getting married etc.Since the bible says God gives us the desire of our hearts...it also says hope defered makes the heart sick.So in the context of wanting to get married for some it can be confusing as to why things have turned out the way it haveand I know some who have just gone out and married an unbeliver,some can even become angry at God for not providing them someone or just confused as to Gods ability to answer their prayers.Some even live with a permanent state of mild anxiety as they do wanna get married but are deeply unsure if they ever will..yet have that deep longing and can be a bit scared of God not blessing them with someone.
Yes I agree with you that your life is in no way a failure just because at the end you are still single.Marriage doesn't define anybody..it cannot in any way validate a persons worth.Our lives completeness is having done the will of God.
Ironically it's other people who can sometimes project their wrong ideas onto us and try to make us feel a failure or that somethings wrong by the comments they make coz we're still single.🤦🏼‍♂️
Love your attitude though..A contented mind and a life being lived without being marriage dependant inorder to feel whole and purposeful..👍🏻😊😊😊
 
L

Live4Him

Guest
#7
Hello today I was thinking about my life and stuff in general.There are am sure countless people in general who for whatever reason never got married through they would have wanted too...Christian and non Christian alike.Many women/men have experienced abusive partners in the past and never got the chance in life to experience someone falling in love with them In a genuine way.It makes me sad that this can happen..but I know that it does happen to some people.
For us as Christian's I know many would naturally want to meet someone special and get married..it's a perfectly natural desire to have and everyone has a different backgrounds.Some may have been married before and now are single,Some are single mums,Some may be widowed,others may have never had a relationship before,others have had relationships before yet for various reasons things didnt work out,some may have been hurt and though wanting to met someone is at the same time feeling anxious of being hurt again..the list goes on.
Personally I would want to met someone and get married most definitely yet at the same time honestly if it doesn't happen it wouldn't crush me (been through a lot over the years😔)..as the most important thing for me is to have done the will of God for my life though I am totally open to God regarding marriage too.I love romance and think its magical to meet someone special.
So my question is how would you feel if you never ended up meeting someone and got married even though you would want too?
How would it affect you view about God etc.Wanting to get married is a perfectly natural desire to have and the bible say that God gives us the desires of our heart and Paul also addresses the issue of wanting marriage in the context of going ahead rather than burn with passion.I know some people say they are not really bothered yet another time it shows that it does concern them somewhat.I know that women wanting to have children and their age too can also impact this too for some.I would love to hear you thoughts on this.
Well, here's my story...

Early on in my Christian walk (for about the first 12 years), I was a determined "eunuch for the kingdom of heaven's sake" (Matt. 19:12). In other words, I was so determined to do the will of God "without carefulness" (I Cor. 7:32) or without having to worry about caring for a wife, that I literally used to rebuke people if they even suggested that I go out on a date with someone.

Then the unthinkable happened.

On a day when I was seeing someone for the last time (she was heading off on a missionary trip and then getting married when she returned) who was engaged to a pastor and who was a member of a Bible study group that I was teaching at that time, God spoke to both me and her and told us that we were to be husband and wife.

At my end, I was somewhat stunned, but I already knew the voice of the LORD at that time, and I also spent 3 months praying and fasting to make sure that this was what the LORD truly wanted. He confirmed to me that it was, BUT he also gave me some solemn warnings about what lay ahead for me.

At her end, she called everybody that she knew (and their grandmothers...lol) and asked them to pray for her because she was convinced that it must have been a demon talking to her. Well, everyone did pray, and they were all convinced that it was God's will that we marry each other, and we eventually got engaged. On the day of our engagement, she literally said to me, "I just want you to know that I would never want to marry a man like you". I was like, "Okay...?" She then continued, "I would never want to marry a man like you BECAUSE I KNOW THAT YOU'LL ALWAYS SEEK TO DO WHAT'S RIGHT". Ultimately, we got married, and she wound up hating me for that exact reason. Not because of any wrong that I actually committed, but rather because I was (and still am) a devoted Christian. Truth be told, she really hated Christ because she didn't want to fully submit to his will for her life, and she eventually renounced Christ/Christianity, cheated on me repeatedly, and then divorced me. We were married, on paper, for 18 years, but we pretty much lived separately for the last 3 years. We did have three children together, and they currently live with her, only about 10 minutes away from where I live, and I see my children constantly.

Why did I tell you all of this?

So that I might answer your question.

Here's where I'm presently at...

I honestly don't know if I can ever get married again. I've read the entire Bible from cover to cover many times, and I've read some of the books of the Bible 100 times or more. I've also read just about everything available on the topic of "Divorce and Remarriage", watched videos galore, prayed about the matter hundreds, if not thousands, of times, and, of course, drawn upon my own Biblical understanding of the matter. Quite frankly, I'm still not sure if I can ever be married again as long as my ex is still alive, and it does somewhat trouble me for the following reason:

If nothing else, my experiences have taught me what marriage and love are truly about. It's troubling to me to have such an inward understanding of the same while being alone. I don't know if I'll ever receive further revelation on the matter on this side of eternity or not, but I'd be lying if I was to say that I wouldn't like female companionship IF I wouldn't be sinning in God's eyes by having the same. If by getting remarried I would be sinning in God's sight, then I would be okay to be single for the rest of my life. In my particular case, it's the not knowing that is really troublesome. That said, God's grace is sufficient for me, and I press on in what I do know while still seeking further insight in relation to that of which I'm presently unsure.

Just my honest two cents worth...
 

TheIndianGirl

Well-known member
Nov 22, 2019
1,839
1,316
113
#8
So my question is how would you feel if you never ended up meeting someone and got married even though you would want too?
How would it affect you view about God etc.
I would feel that I missed a large part of life - on both the joys and sorrows involved with marriage and children. An orphan child (Oliver Twist?) may have never felt a mother's love (or even a child who has a bad mom), so this child would have missed a big part of his life. Or perhaps more appropriate/relevant is, some children never had a dad in their lives so they have missed out on a unique type of relationship in their life. I think that some people never get married/have children is just part of life. I would ask God some questions but would trust that He has the best intentions for me. However, singles can always remain hopeful about meeting someone/falling in love. In the meantime, I would try to build my own "family" of friends.
 

Kireina

Well-known member
Aug 26, 2020
1,252
1,203
113
#9
I think some days I'll be quite sad maybe I'll feel some regrets...I don't know... 🤔

maybe...

some days I will wonder about what could have been with someone...💑


maybe...

some days I will wonder that feeling most mothers feel ""The pure joy of just watching your kids smile" 👨‍👩‍👦‍👦

maybe...

some days I will wonder what it feels like to have somebody call you mom🤔

maybe...

some days while sitting in my old rocking chair I'm imagining what it feels to have someone beside me holding my hand 🙄😄

I actually don't know but I am sure I'll be fine...I'll feel fine.. I may feel lonely from time to time. IT might come up sometimes I guess...but I believe It wont affect me that much it wont affect my faith in the Lord Jesus I'll be grateful always forever grateful for HIS love ❤

I may end up someday OLD AND ALONE life goes on till GOD calls me home... 😇
 

Kireina

Well-known member
Aug 26, 2020
1,252
1,203
113
#10
Well, here's my story...

Early on in my Christian walk (for about the first 12 years), I was a determined "eunuch for the kingdom of heaven's sake" (Matt. 19:12). In other words, I was so determined to do the will of God "without carefulness" (I Cor. 7:32) or without having to worry about caring for a wife, that I literally used to rebuke people if they even suggested that I go out on a date with someone.

Then the unthinkable happened.

On a day when I was seeing someone for the last time (she was heading off on a missionary trip and then getting married when she returned) who was engaged to a pastor and who was a member of a Bible study group that I was teaching at that time, God spoke to both me and her and told us that we were to be husband and wife.

At my end, I was somewhat stunned, but I already knew the voice of the LORD at that time, and I also spent 3 months praying and fasting to make sure that this was what the LORD truly wanted. He confirmed to me that it was, BUT he also gave me some solemn warnings about what lay ahead for me.

At her end, she called everybody that she knew (and their grandmothers...lol) and asked them to pray for her because she was convinced that it must have been a demon talking to her. Well, everyone did pray, and they were all convinced that it was God's will that we marry each other, and we eventually got engaged. On the day of our engagement, she literally said to me, "I just want you to know that I would never want to marry a man like you". I was like, "Okay...?" She then continued, "I would never want to marry a man like you BECAUSE I KNOW THAT YOU'LL ALWAYS SEEK TO DO WHAT'S RIGHT". Ultimately, we got married, and she wound up hating me for that exact reason. Not because of any wrong that I actually committed, but rather because I was (and still am) a devoted Christian. Truth be told, she really hated Christ because she didn't want to fully submit to his will for her life, and she eventually renounced Christ/Christianity, cheated on me repeatedly, and then divorced me. We were married, on paper, for 18 years, but we pretty much lived separately for the last 3 years. We did have three children together, and they currently live with her, only about 10 minutes away from where I live, and I see my children constantly.

Why did I tell you all of this?

So that I might answer your question.

Here's where I'm presently at...

I honestly don't know if I can ever get married again. I've read the entire Bible from cover to cover many times, and I've read some of the books of the Bible 100 times or more. I've also read just about everything available on the topic of "Divorce and Remarriage", watched videos galore, prayed about the matter hundreds, if not thousands, of times, and, of course, drawn upon my own Biblical understanding of the matter. Quite frankly, I'm still not sure if I can ever be married again as long as my ex is still alive, and it does somewhat trouble me for the following reason:

If nothing else, my experiences have taught me what marriage and love are truly about. It's troubling to me to have such an inward understanding of the same while being alone. I don't know if I'll ever receive further revelation on the matter on this side of eternity or not, but I'd be lying if I was to say that I wouldn't like female companionship IF I wouldn't be sinning in God's eyes by having the same. If by getting remarried I would be sinning in God's sight, then I would be okay to be single for the rest of my life. In my particular case, it's the not knowing that is really troublesome. That said, God's grace is sufficient for me, and I press on in what I do know while still seeking further insight in relation to that of which I'm presently unsure.

Just my honest two cents worth...

Hey! Bro...I am curious about this...I have question,please...thanks 🤗...because I could not underatand why God told you to marry a woman but in the end the marriage will just be broken without hope for reconciliation 🤔

Does God reveal to us who we should marry or who we are going to marry? Like this woman ( with complete name and address maybe) is the one you will going to marry...🤔
 
L

Live4Him

Guest
#11
Hey! Bro...I am curious about this...I have question,please...thanks 🤗...because I could not underatand why God told you to marry a woman but in the end the marriage will just be broken without hope for reconciliation 🤔

Does God reveal to us who we should marry or who we are going to marry? Like this woman ( with complete name and address maybe) is the one you will going to marry...🤔
Hi, Kireina.

I'll attempt to answer your questions, but, before I do, I need to say this:

My own personal experience is NOT the standard for marriage. God's word is the standard, and if anything in my own personal experience doesn't align itself with God's word, then it should be disregarded in favor of God's word.

Now, to your first question...

When it comes to marriage, the first thing that we need to understand is that God designed it to be a natural reflection of the spiritual union between Christ and the church.

We read:

Ephesians chapter 5

[22] Wives, submit yourselves unto your own husbands, as unto the Lord.
[23] For the husband is the head of the wife, even as Christ is the head of the church: and he is the saviour of the body.
[24] Therefore as the church is subject unto Christ, so let the wives be to their own husbands in every thing.
[25] Husbands, love your wives, even as Christ also loved the church, and gave himself for it;
[26] That he might sanctify and cleanse it with the washing of water by the word,
[27] That he might present it to himself a glorious church, not having spot, or wrinkle, or any such thing; but that it should be holy and without blemish.
[28] So ought men to love their wives as their own bodies. He that loveth his wife loveth himself.
[29] For no man ever yet hated his own flesh; but nourisheth and cherisheth it, even as the Lord the church:
[30] For we are members of his body, of his flesh, and of his bones.
[31] For this cause shall a man leave his father and mother, and shall be joined unto his wife, and they two shall be one flesh.
[32] This is a great mystery: but I speak concerning Christ and the church.
[33] Nevertheless let every one of you in particular so love his wife even as himself; and the wife see that she reverence her husband.

In marriage, a husband is to love his wife as Christ loved the church and gave himself for it. He is also to seek to sanctify and cleanse his wife with the washing of water by the word and to love his wife as his own body, even as Christ does for the church. Similarly, a wife is to reverence her husband as the church reverences Christ. THIS is what marriage was ordained of God to represent.

With such being the case, let me turn the first question that you asked me around to ask this:

Spiritually speaking, would Christ ever marry a woman, but in the end the marriage would be broken without hope for reconciliation?

Please consider Christ's covenant with the nation of Israel which is likened to a marriage covenant all throughout scripture for the correct answer to this question.

We read:

Jeremiah chapter 3

[1] They say, If a man put away his wife, and she go from him, and become another man's, shall he return unto her again? shall not that land be greatly polluted? but thou hast played the harlot with many lovers; yet return again to me, saith the LORD.
[2] Lift up thine eyes unto the high places, and see where thou hast not been lien with. In the ways hast thou sat for them, as the Arabian in the wilderness; and thou hast polluted the land with thy whoredoms and with thy wickedness.
[3] Therefore the showers have been withholden, and there hath been no latter rain; and thou hadst a whore's forehead, thou refusedst to be ashamed.
[4] Wilt thou not from this time cry unto me, My father, thou art the guide of my youth?
[5] Will he reserve his anger for ever? will he keep it to the end? Behold, thou hast spoken and done evil things as thou couldest.
[6] The LORD said also unto me in the days of Josiah the king, Hast thou seen that which backsliding Israel hath done? she is gone up upon every high mountain and under every green tree, and there hath played the harlot.
[7] And I said after she had done all these things, Turn thou unto me. But she returned not. And her treacherous sister Judah saw it.
[8] And I saw, when for all the causes whereby backsliding Israel committed adultery I had put her away, and given her a bill of divorce; yet her treacherous sister Judah feared not, but went and played the harlot also.
[9] And it came to pass through the lightness of her whoredom, that she defiled the land, and committed adultery with stones and with stocks.
[10] And yet for all this her treacherous sister Judah hath not turned unto me with her whole heart, but feignedly, saith the LORD.
[11] And the LORD said unto me, The backsliding Israel hath justified herself more than treacherous Judah.
[12] Go and proclaim these words toward the north, and say, Return, thou backsliding Israel, saith the LORD; and I will not cause mine anger to fall upon you: for I am merciful, saith the LORD, and I will not keep anger for ever.
[13] Only acknowledge thine iniquity, that thou hast transgressed against the LORD thy God, and hast scattered thy ways to the strangers under every green tree, and ye have not obeyed my voice, saith the LORD.
[14] Turn, O backsliding children, saith the LORD; for I am married unto you: and I will take you one of a city, and two of a family, and I will bring you to Zion:
[15] And I will give you pastors according to mine heart, which shall feed you with knowledge and understanding.

Here is but one of many places in scripture where Israel is called the LORD's "wife" (vs. 1) or the one that he was "married" (vs. 14) to.

Unfortunately, she (Israel) repeatedly played the "whore" (vss. 2-3, 9) or the "harlot" (vss. 6, 8), and she "refused to be ashamed" (vs. 3) or to "acknowledge her iniquity" (vs. 13), and she therefore never "turned" (vs. 7) or "returned" (vss. 1, 7, 12) to the LORD.

Because of her stubborn refusal to repent, the LORD ultimately "put her away and gave her a bill of divorce" (vs. 8).

In the case of the LORD and Israel, it's NOT that "the marriage was broken without any hope for reconciliation", but rather that Israel refused to do what was necessary in order for there to be reconciliation...and such was the case with my own wife and me.

Ultimately, my ex cheated on me repeatedly (there were many other problems as well), and she refused to either acknowledge that what she was doing was sinful or to repent of the same. In our particular case, I'm NOT the one who "put her away and gave her a bill of divorcement", but she is the one who divorced me.

Could we have been reconciled?

Yes, we could have been, but her own free will choices hindered that from ever happening.

When it comes to the ordinance of marriage, Jesus said:

Mark chapter 10

[6] But from the beginning of the creation God made them male and female.
[7] For this cause shall a man leave his father and mother, and cleave to his wife;
[8] And they twain shall be one flesh: so then they are no more twain, but one flesh.
[9] What therefore God hath joined together, let not man put asunder.

Although God's desire for marriage is that "they are no more twain (two), but one flesh", a man or woman does have the ability, of his or her own free will choice, to put that which God has joined together asunder. It's certainly not God's will, but a man or woman can do so of his or her own free will choice.

This is what happened ultimately in the case of me and my ex. She chose to opt out of what God had joined together.

It's really that simple.

I hope that this answers your first question.

In regard to your second question, I do believe that God will lead us to who he wants us to marry.

For example, the LORD directed Abraham's servant to Rebekah who was to be Isaac's wife. I won't quote it from scripture, but you can read it for yourself in Genesis chapter 24 if you'd like to.
 

Encouragement

Well-known member
Aug 25, 2020
1,474
1,289
113
#12
Well, here's my story...

Early on in my Christian walk (for about the first 12 years), I was a determined "eunuch for the kingdom of heaven's sake" (Matt. 19:12). In other words, I was so determined to do the will of God "without carefulness" (I Cor. 7:32) or without having to worry about caring for a wife, that I literally used to rebuke people if they even suggested that I go out on a date with someone.

Then the unthinkable happened.

On a day when I was seeing someone for the last time (she was heading off on a missionary trip and then getting married when she returned) who was engaged to a pastor and who was a member of a Bible study group that I was teaching at that time, God spoke to both me and her and told us that we were to be husband and wife.

At my end, I was somewhat stunned, but I already knew the voice of the LORD at that time, and I also spent 3 months praying and fasting to make sure that this was what the LORD truly wanted. He confirmed to me that it was, BUT he also gave me some solemn warnings about what lay ahead for me.

At her end, she called everybody that she knew (and their grandmothers...lol) and asked them to pray for her because she was convinced that it must have been a demon talking to her. Well, everyone did pray, and they were all convinced that it was God's will that we marry each other, and we eventually got engaged. On the day of our engagement, she literally said to me, "I just want you to know that I would never want to marry a man like you". I was like, "Okay...?" She then continued, "I would never want to marry a man like you BECAUSE I KNOW THAT YOU'LL ALWAYS SEEK TO DO WHAT'S RIGHT". Ultimately, we got married, and she wound up hating me for that exact reason. Not because of any wrong that I actually committed, but rather because I was (and still am) a devoted Christian. Truth be told, she really hated Christ because she didn't want to fully submit to his will for her life, and she eventually renounced Christ/Christianity, cheated on me repeatedly, and then divorced me. We were married, on paper, for 18 years, but we pretty much lived separately for the last 3 years. We did have three children together, and they currently live with her, only about 10 minutes away from where I live, and I see my children constantly.

Why did I tell you all of this?

So that I might answer your question.

Here's where I'm presently at...

I honestly don't know if I can ever get married again. I've read the entire Bible from cover to cover many times, and I've read some of the books of the Bible 100 times or more. I've also read just about everything available on the topic of "Divorce and Remarriage", watched videos galore, prayed about the matter hundreds, if not thousands, of times, and, of course, drawn upon my own Biblical understanding of the matter. Quite frankly, I'm still not sure if I can ever be married again as long as my ex is still alive, and it does somewhat trouble me for the following reason:

If nothing else, my experiences have taught me what marriage and love are truly about. It's troubling to me to have such an inward understanding of the same while being alone. I don't know if I'll ever receive further revelation on the matter on this side of eternity or not, but I'd be lying if I was to say that I wouldn't like female companionship IF I wouldn't be sinning in God's eyes by having the same. If by getting remarried I would be sinning in God's sight, then I would be okay to be single for the rest of my life. In my particular case, it's the not knowing that is really troublesome. That said, God's grace is sufficient for me, and I press on in what I do know while still seeking further insight in relation to that of which I'm presently unsure.

Just my honest two cents worth...
Hi thanks for giving such an Interesting testimony.I think they its commendable that you did have a period in your life where you were totally sold of for christ and had no desires for marriage/'dating ect with the right motives.
Yes I can see the irony of what happend in your life later on and gosh 18 years is still a good testimony of suffering because of your ex wifes lack of devotion to the lord.This must of cause so many difficulties and the spiritual dynamics must of been even harder.Iam sure you suffered too and I assume that if she didnt divorce you you would still be married to her right?
It seems that you were unequally yoked then if she said she wouldn't marry a man who is one who would seek to do what is right?..Naturally that shows morally shes not at the same place you were making her a potential rebellious wife?In the end hating you and denouncing christ!🤦🏼‍♂️🤦🏼‍♂️
Due to her infidelities you had every reason to divorce her yet you held in there and it was her who divorced you in the end.
I cannot see why therefore why you cannot be married again.
I have a christian friend who was married to a gut who was actually married to someone else but he told my friends 6 months sfter they were married but refused to give details..He married a woman to give her stay in england some years earlier for payment..It was a business contract and once they left the registry office she went on her merry way.He was a confessing Christian too.
God helped my friend find the marriage certificate and she went to court and got the marriage annulled.She has been married to him for 7 years.
God gave her a way out and she is free to marry again.
Another friend married a woman who was a confessing Christian..but there were red flags there.She became a difficult and abusive wife and even falsely accused him of sexually abusing there daughter..she eventually divorced him and my friend did remarry.This was hard for him but my lots of prayer..bible study..greeting good pastoral support and him being open to God...he is happily married to a lovely loving Christian woman.
If wouldn't surprise me if God allowed your ex wife to divorce you to set you free.You were faithful..
Yes I do belive God often let's us know if we are born to him if someone is suitable for us.I have been in many situations and God had began to increase the gift of discernment and has saved me many times from bad relationships,being deceived,'marrying the wrong person etc.
Your situation reminds me of hosea being told to marry that prostitute.I could never dispute what you shared though you were definitely unequally yoked in the marriage.It must of been really hard.
Bro..may God create an open door for you to met someone if its according to his perfect will for you.Real powerful testimony brother.
👏🏻👏🏻👍🏻😊
 

Encouragement

Well-known member
Aug 25, 2020
1,474
1,289
113
#13
I would feel that I missed a large part of life - on both the joys and sorrows involved with marriage and children. An orphan child (Oliver Twist?) may have never felt a mother's love (or even a child who has a bad mom), so this child would have missed a big part of his life. Or perhaps more appropriate/relevant is, some children never had a dad in their lives so they have missed out on a unique type of relationship in their life. I think that some people never get married/have children is just part of life. I would ask God some questions but would trust that He has the best intentions for me. However, singles can always remain hopeful about meeting someone/falling in love. In the meantime, I would try to build my own "family" of friends.
Hello nice of you to pop by on one of my threads.Yes I can understand what you mean.They are certain desires we have which go deep and for many of us finding love, getting married,having a family is a real natural desire.In fact this is a desire within humanity in general and being Christian we don't share the same dynamic as the world around us does but share these same natural desires.We use common sense trusting God to guide us and bless our lives I this area.
Yes the examples you gave was kinda what got me thinking in the 1st place.Things like fatherlessness,Broken family life ect..often robs children of experiencing parental love ect.I can definitely identify with this for sure.
This is also the same for people who have never experienced being loved properly due to being abused by post partners,Christian's who have never has anyone of the opposite sex showing any interest in them romantically and they are now I their 70's...
Having and building good friendships where possible is most definitely good to have and does take time to create..👍🏻
 

Encouragement

Well-known member
Aug 25, 2020
1,474
1,289
113
#14
I think some days I'll be quite sad maybe I'll feel some regrets...I don't know... 🤔

maybe...

some days I will wonder about what could have been with someone...💑


maybe...

some days I will wonder that feeling most mothers feel ""The pure joy of just watching your kids smile" 👨‍👩‍👦‍👦

maybe...

some days I will wonder what it feels like to have somebody call you mom🤔

maybe...

some days while sitting in my old rocking chair I'm imagining what it feels to have someone beside me holding my hand 🙄😄

I actually don't know but I am sure I'll be fine...I'll feel fine.. I may feel lonely from time to time. IT might come up sometimes I guess...but I believe It wont affect me that much it wont affect my faith in the Lord Jesus I'll be grateful always forever grateful for HIS love ❤

I may end up someday OLD AND ALONE life goes on till GOD calls me home... 😇
Hi nice of you to drop in kirenia..I guess it can be difficult to know how you might feel..perhaps thoughts like..did i miss the opportunity?..Did i do something wrong that ment I wasn't gonna be married?..Did I actually meet the right person and for whatever reason lost them.?.
I have had thoughts like that I the past..
Yes it would be natural to even think of what could of been like...I guess the main thing is having a balance mindset as in ones Christian life we would have a range of life experiences and would of prayed about so many different things in our lifetime that we would of been open Gods leading in many things...like marriage,career,Health,'loved ones and much more.
I found the comment you made about sitting in a rocking chair and imaging what it felt like to have someone sitting beside you holding you hand particularly touching...Awww bless..😊

Yes we have a glorious hope in him that whatever things we didn't experience in this life pales into complete insignificance when he takes us home because his awesome reality is far bigger than anything we could ever imagine...
Til then my dear we live on earth continually growing in him trusting him in regards to our hearts desires.
Always great to have your contribution..👍🏻👍🏻
 
L

Live4Him

Guest
#15
Hi thanks for giving such an Interesting testimony.I think they its commendable that you did have a period in your life where you were totally sold of for christ and had no desires for marriage/'dating ect with the right motives.
Yes I can see the irony of what happend in your life later on and gosh 18 years is still a good testimony of suffering because of your ex wifes lack of devotion to the lord.This must of cause so many difficulties and the spiritual dynamics must of been even harder.Iam sure you suffered too and I assume that if she didnt divorce you you would still be married to her right?
It seems that you were unequally yoked then if she said she wouldn't marry a man who is one who would seek to do what is right?..Naturally that shows morally shes not at the same place you were making her a potential rebellious wife?In the end hating you and denouncing christ!🤦🏼‍♂️🤦🏼‍♂️
Due to her infidelities you had every reason to divorce her yet you held in there and it was her who divorced you in the end.
I cannot see why therefore why you cannot be married again.
I have a christian friend who was married to a gut who was actually married to someone else but he told my friends 6 months sfter they were married but refused to give details..He married a woman to give her stay in england some years earlier for payment..It was a business contract and once they left the registry office she went on her merry way.He was a confessing Christian too.
God helped my friend find the marriage certificate and she went to court and got the marriage annulled.She has been married to him for 7 years.
God gave her a way out and she is free to marry again.
Another friend married a woman who was a confessing Christian..but there were red flags there.She became a difficult and abusive wife and even falsely accused him of sexually abusing there daughter..she eventually divorced him and my friend did remarry.This was hard for him but my lots of prayer..bible study..greeting good pastoral support and him being open to God...he is happily married to a lovely loving Christian woman.
If wouldn't surprise me if God allowed your ex wife to divorce you to set you free.You were faithful..
Yes I do belive God often let's us know if we are born to him if someone is suitable for us.I have been in many situations and God had began to increase the gift of discernment and has saved me many times from bad relationships,being deceived,'marrying the wrong person etc.
Your situation reminds me of hosea being told to marry that prostitute.I could never dispute what you shared though you were definitely unequally yoked in the marriage.It must of been really hard.
Bro..may God create an open door for you to met someone if its according to his perfect will for you.Real powerful testimony brother.
👏🏻👏🏻👍🏻😊
I wouldn't say that we were unequally yoked initially.

She did show signs of being a Christian early on in our marriage and prior to it.

We met at a Bible study that I was teaching, and, believe me, I wasn't teaching any fluff. Ironically, she endured the Bible studies more than anybody else did, and we actually continued having Bible studies by ourselves when the rest of the group disbanded for different reasons. She was also headed for a missionary trip the day that God spoke to both of us, and, again, she was engaged to a pastor (a prosperity preacher, though) at that time.

Even after we were married, there were MULTIPLE TIMES when she told me that God was reproving her via dreams and visions and showing her her need to repent of different things. She came from a very strong background of generational witchcraft in her native country of Panama, and I literally cast several demons out of her in Jesus' name early on in our marriage. I also discovered, about a month after we were married, that she had been repeatedly sexually molested by her own father between the ages of 5 and 6 years old, and, to me, that's got to be one of the most traumatic and psychologically damaging things that could ever happen to a child.

God was working on both of us throughout the entire marriage, but, sad to say, after a while, she quit doing the things that God himself was leading her to do.

Anyhow, in hindsight, as intense of a fiery trial it was for me to be married to her, I grew spiritually by leaps and bounds in the midst of the whole ordeal. I'm not saying that it was easy by any stretch of the imagination. I literally was pushed to the point where nothing but God's grace could possibly sustain me on a daily, nay, HOURLY basis. I recall driving in my car alone one day and literally looking up to heaven while screaming "ENOUGH!" That said, God's grace was sufficient or else I literally wouldn't even be alive right now.

We also brought three beautiful children into the world together, so there are a lot of different variables involved here.
 

Platosgal

Active member
Mar 17, 2020
277
181
43
#16
I do not believe in romantic love
It is a chemical reaction
And does not last
I do believe God is big, really big
And he can and will meet ALL our needs one way or the other