"I Only Date 110-Pound Women..." (Dating Outside Your Body Type?)

[Jullianna]

This is a hard topic.

I was never a huge girl. I have a bigger bone structure, so even at 120 lbs, I was unhealthily thin (anemic, vitamin deficiency, etc) at 5'3". I never went over about 145, and my optimum weight was 130-135. But then, I was put on some really horrible medications. This is what happened:

1) Med A caused an 80 lb weight gain in one year (that's right, one year). So, I went from a lifetime high of 150 lbs to 230 lbs, IN ONE YEAR.

2) Meds B, C and D have all been in litigation for causing diabetes. I was on B and C for about a year, and I was on D for two and a half when I was diagnosed with diabetes, type 2.

3) I continued to gain weight at a rate of about 2-5 pounds a month, even when exercising. I was always hungry. I would eat the equivalent of two meals and STILL be hungry, even with needle-point pains in my over-full stomach.

4) I decided to take myself off of Meds D, E and F on my own when my doctor refused to help me. Two months after my last dose:

*My blood sugar levels began to decrease, and I now control my diabetes mainly with diet and exercise,

*I stopped being hungry all the time, and now can feel the sensation of fullness,

*I have lost forty pounds through dietary changes and exercise (but I DO NOT diet; I just eat healthier foods and stop when I'm full),

*I can now jog, something I've been unable to do since starting the medications, and do so regularly,

*I feel healthier than at any other point in my life
​

Why am I saying this? Well, people often have this misconception that fat people are fat for one (or, more often, all) of three reasons:

1) Laziness/lack of willpower
2) Poor eating habits
3) Refusal to exercise and "take care of oneself"

That isn't always the case. In my case, medications changed the entire structure of my body. I'd never been so heavy. They also caused a LOT of hair loss (I have 5-7 inch strands all over my head where the hair is coming back), I started to develop a small hump on my upper shoulders which has since vanished, and I have a slight case of something called Tardive Dyskinesia (my right hand trembles) which will never go away.

I thank God that I'm doing well without medication and that I'm able to be healthy and active again.


That being said, I think we should strive to be the healthiest we can, always question when a doctor's decision seems wrong, and never judge a book by its cover.

It is very important to remember this. I have family members who are unusually thin due to diabetes and also those who tend to gain weight due to thyroid issues. They struggle with their weight for reasons beyond their control. Some medications have also caused issues. My asthma was pretty bad when I was a little girl and the steroids would make my face kinda puffy at times. I hated that...

There are times when I have allowed myself to become too thin because there were things I would rather be doing than eating and circumstances in my life were such that I didn't enjoy cooking much at that time. That's unhealthy. I'm trying to do better these days.

 

[hikerki]

Hmmm dating girls at 110 is not going to be very easy for him unless the girls are sick or tiny. Girls can be healthy and at that weight, but it is just not super common. I was at that weight, and I am not too far from it now, but I am short. I do not care too much about the weight of the guy I date, but I don't really want him to weigh less than me. I am extremely active and would want him to be active with me...that would mean he could not be wicked overweight. I am very bothered by laziness, so I could not see myself with someone who likes to sit and watch tv all the time. I have had problems with my spine and God has worked in ways which surprised the doctors and specialists, so taking care of my body is very important, and I consider myself blessed to be able to be active.

 

[David_1]

Thankfully God does not choose based on Size.

 

[allforfun]

True love hits us when we are least expecting it and it will look different than what we were expecting. Expectations get shot out of the water daily, almost hourly. This includes what we think we are looking for in a mate.

 

[VikkiKate89]

Body types have never really mattered to me. I just care if I can stand to be with the person lol. And of course there has to be some level of attraction, but I tend to fall more for personalities rather than looks anyways.

 

[Joshua175]

My opinion. What is wrong with wanting to be with someone you're attracted to in the flesh? God made our flesh as well as our soul. He made man and woman with their desire for outer beauty. So what's wrong with that?

 

[tif]

Joshua: Nothing, as long as you're open to what God is leading you toward. What if your perfect match was 160 lbs instead of 110? Or blond instead of brunette? Tall instead of short? Would you tell God, "Yeah, sorry, you got my order wrong. Take it back and bring me what I asked for"?

 

[dovey]

" I've known some very sexy women who are morbidly obese. " david_1

How could killing yourself with food ever be attractive?? being too thin isn't attractive either, but I am 5'5'' and in highschool weighed 110....at 28 im 130ish lol....and I got to admitt I prefer to be a bit more curvey. I work out and eat healthy, and weight isnt an issue.

but it bothers me how many adults dont take care of themselves....balance my friends! I think God would want us healthy, right??

 

[zeroturbulence]

This is a hard topic.

I was never a huge girl. I have a bigger bone structure, so even at 120 lbs, I was unhealthily thin (anemic, vitamin deficiency, etc) at 5'3". I never went over about 145, and my optimum weight was 130-135. But then, I was put on some really horrible medications. This is what happened:

1) Med A caused an 80 lb weight gain in one year (that's right, one year). So, I went from a lifetime high of 150 lbs to 230 lbs, IN ONE YEAR.

2) Meds B, C and D have all been in litigation for causing diabetes. I was on B and C for about a year, and I was on D for two and a half when I was diagnosed with diabetes, type 2.

3) I continued to gain weight at a rate of about 2-5 pounds a month, even when exercising. I was always hungry. I would eat the equivalent of two meals and STILL be hungry, even with needle-point pains in my over-full stomach.

4) I decided to take myself off of Meds D, E and F on my own when my doctor refused to help me. Two months after my last dose:

*My blood sugar levels began to decrease, and I now control my diabetes mainly with diet and exercise,

*I stopped being hungry all the time, and now can feel the sensation of fullness,

*I have lost forty pounds through dietary changes and exercise (but I DO NOT diet; I just eat healthier foods and stop when I'm full),

*I can now jog, something I've been unable to do since starting the medications, and do so regularly,

*I feel healthier than at any other point in my life​

Why am I saying this? Well, people often have this misconception that fat people are fat for one (or, more often, all) of three reasons:

1) Laziness/lack of willpower
2) Poor eating habits
3) Refusal to exercise and "take care of oneself"

That isn't always the case. In my case, medications changed the entire structure of my body. I'd never been so heavy. They also caused a LOT of hair loss (I have 5-7 inch strands all over my head where the hair is coming back), I started to develop a small hump on my upper shoulders which has since vanished, and I have a slight case of something called Tardive Dyskinesia (my right hand trembles) which will never go away.

I thank God that I'm doing well without medication and that I'm able to be healthy and active again.


That being said, I think we should strive to be the healthiest we can, always question when a doctor's decision seems wrong, and never judge a book by its cover.

Awesome post! I wish I could blame drugs for my weight gain. I guess food can be a drug if you're depressed, so...

 

[evelina]

Dude: GET IN SHAPE!!!
2nd Dude: I am in shape, round is a shape too!!!

Well.... ..... i like this thread made me laugh out loud *sigh*

 

[tif]

" I've known some very sexy women who are morbidly obese. " david_1

How could killing yourself with food ever be attractive?? being too thin isn't attractive either, but I am 5'5'' and in highschool weighed 110....at 28 im 130ish lol....and I got to admitt I prefer to be a bit more curvey. I work out and eat healthy, and weight isnt an issue.

but it bothers me how many adults dont take care of themselves....balance my friends! I think God would want us healthy, right??

Okay, yeah, that's EXACTLY the mind set I was talking about. Girl, I'm more healthy now than most of my thin friends. I eat way more veggies than most of them, and less meat.

What happened to me during childhood isn't my fault. Nor is it my fault that the medications I was on for the resultant PTSD gave me horrendous weight gain (even with exercise).

It is really hurtful to hear and read comments like this. It's been slow, losing the weight (which is supposed to be the healthy way to do it). After a year and a half, I've only lost 40 pounds, and I know how people think and what their looks mean when I'm jogging or eating my (healthy) lunch. I can almost hear them saying, "Try harder, fatty! It's your own fault you're fat, and no one will ever look at a disgusting lump like you twice!"

People tend not to understand that there isn't a one-size-fits-all reason for weight gain. I just get so mad sometimes...

Awesome post! I wish I could blame drugs for my weight gain. I guess food can be a drug if you're depressed, so...

Zero: You know, that's too true. Anything we put into the addictive slot (drugs, food, alcohol, sex, gambling, porn, self-injury, shopping...) will become a monster. All I know is we're all built to feel empty without God. We can try to fill the emptiness with food or what-have-you, but it's always a temporary fix, until we fill up with God and His love and grace toward us. The only times I've been able to completely live apart from an addict lifestyle has been when I fill up on the Word, prayer and fellowship, with an understanding of God's infinite love and good will toward me and His ability to fix those things in me.

Besides, weight isn't the most important thing about a person. I'd rather be healthy and fat than sickly and bulimic any day of the month. I'd rather have my relationship with God and be heavy than have a great relationship with a faithless man as a skinny woman and lose out on the greatest treasure I could ever possess.

 

[David_1]

My opinion. What is wrong with wanting to be with someone you're attracted to in the flesh? God made our flesh as well as our soul. He made man and woman with their desire for outer beauty. So what's wrong with that?

Nothing wrong with that mate. However my 'tastes' have broadened greatly since I was 18. What I'm saying is, don't discount because she's not society's view of beautiful.

 

[Megatron]

i actually prefer curvy women over sticks...just saying

 

[SubCruceSalus]

I only date 300 lb. women.....when they have a hot model-looking friend that is single and named Pepper

 

[NodMyHeadLikeYeah]

I only date 300 lb. women.....when they have a hot model-looking friend that is single and named Pepper

Typing hot model friend thats single named pepper, is as close as your gonna get to one of them chicks

 

[seoulsearch]

Tif--thank you for sharing some of your struggles. In addition to medical issues, I do believe some people are naturally made in different sizes, no matter what society wants to tell us (if they told us it was ok to be ourselves, they couldn't make money off industries that push an possible ideal.)

I can also completely relate to your medical experiences. I was diagnosed with something that is becoming a frequently found metabolic disorder found in women, and two of its hallmarks are obesity and extreme cravings for starches and sweets. I very much empathize with anyone who is going through medical trials.

On the flip side, I really have to hold myself back as well when some of the bigger girls at work say things to me like, "Oh, no wonder you're little, you don't eat," (this is when I'm having homemade veggie soup for lunch and they're having fried chicken, fries, and Mountain Dew), and, my favorite, the very snide, "She's in the bathroom all the time." No, I'm not bulimic.

When you drink 3 liters of plain water a day, you find yourself making a few trips to the bathroom. I just know it's important to make healthy choices, even though sometimes we don't get the results we want. I can gain weight in a heartbeat--I went on vacation last year, let myself eat whatever I wanted (an entire large takeout pizza and half gallon of ice cream is breakfast and lunch), and gained 5 pounds in a week. The only thing that saves me is that I don't eat like that all the time--no pop, fried food only once a week, limited carbs, sweets, processed foods (which I LOVE), and eating out only once a week if that.

Nod, I totally understand what you're saying as far as, "Who cares what another person does?" but I know I couldn't marry someone who, let's say, ate nothing but Doritos, hot dogs, and pizza... Because one thing I've learned about myself is that If It's In The House I Will Eat It (good thing I don't have edible furniture.) If Willy Wonka lived down the street, he'd go broke in a month because by then, I would have consumed his entire edible factory.

And of course... many people are attractive for many different reasons... I myself happen to think Adam Richmond (Man vs. Food) is charming and quite cute... though obviously, we could never date-- mostly because he'd be jealous because I'd win more food challenges than he would!!!

 

[David_1]

It's sad, that like a lot of threads on this site, this thread has undercurrents of hate. Bashing on fat people is the last openly acceptable avenue of hatred.

It's not Christian to judge a soul based on their exterior. To judge a person's worth based on their looks.

When we die we will be like Angels as Jesus said. There will be some folks here on earth that are being judged, mocked and scorned who will have a high place/roll in the Kingdom of Heaven.

 

[Rissa77]

I want someone bigger than me because I'm tiny and want a stronger person that can pick me up, defend me, open bottles and jars (since I hardly ever can).. but that's not too hard to find.

I think being generally healthy is a good thing. I don't want my spouse dieing at an early age because of a preventable health issue. And he can help me keep good habits and self-control since my metabolism is starting to catch up with me.

I've considered dating overweight people before. The fact that they were overweight wasn't an issue. The fact that these specific people didn't care about their diet and health did. No attempt to take care of themselves, and that doesn't show good light on character. If I met a larger man I wanted to date that DID care about himself, then there wouldn't be an issue with weight. I would know he would work at getting healthy.

 

[rainacorn]

Good points, Rissa.

Health has to be a concern if you want to have children. An overweight person is significantly more likely to have overweight children. Even if you love your 'curves' or whatever people try to call their fatness, do you really want to do that to your children? You wouldn't be totally guilt ridden if you gave them childhood diabeetus? You wouldn't feel bad about not being able to play with them for any stretch of time without having a coronary? You wouldn't have a problem with their developmental disorders as a result of unhealthy diets?

If my husband died in his 40s from being super fat and left me to raise our fat, stupid, maladjusted children on my own, I wouldn't really have anyone to blame but myself. Being in a partnership means being there for each other. You should do everything within your power to keep yourself (and your family) healthy.

(sorry if that last bit came off as harsh. I started laughing at what I was typing and just ran with it)

 

[NodMyHeadLikeYeah]

Good points, Rissa.

Health has to be a concern if you want to have children. An overweight person is significantly more likely to have overweight children. Even if you love your 'curves' or whatever people try to call their fatness, do you really want to do that to your children? You wouldn't be totally guilt ridden if you gave them childhood diabeetus? You wouldn't feel bad about not being able to play with them for any stretch of time without having a coronary? You wouldn't have a problem with their developmental disorders as a result of unhealthy diets?

If my husband died in his 40s from being super fat and left me to raise our fat, stupid, maladjusted children on my own, I wouldn't really have anyone to blame but myself. Being in a partnership means being there for each other. You should do everything within your power to keep yourself (and your family) healthy.

(sorry if that last bit came off as harsh. I started laughing at what I was typing and just ran with it)

Why do people always associate curves with being fat? Is every female supposed to have the body of a pubescent boy?