Streams of Consciousness & Thoughts~~~

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seoulsearch

OutWrite Trouble
May 23, 2009
12,373
2,757
113
.
Good morning back to you. My week is good. How about you?
.
Hi Earnest! I'm sorry it took me so long to get back to you. Lots of drama at work, lol. I also can't seem to figure out the new system, as it often doesn't alert me of threads I've put a "watch" on or have posted in.

And somehow we seem to have found ourselves sliding into a new week... How did that happen???!!!

I hope this week goes well for you, and even better than the last one!

Blessings to you. :)
 

Rachel20

Senior Member
May 7, 2013
1,639
102
63
An Untitled Lyrical Ode.

This piece doesn't rhyme. I just wrote it on a whim after coming home from church today which interestingly, is doing a series on relationships. I tried to incorporate some iambic elements. I know it can seem cheesy, but I feel like sharing it :)

pexels-photo-164241.jpeg


I tell you I don’t need you
But I want you
And thats a big difference

When we meet, I hesitate
But kiss me now
Thats what my eyes say

I can’t fight this push and pull
And it’s a secret
I play it cool, my darling

I am not afraid anymore
Both young and free
We embrace at the bay bridge

Place your lips on mine and dance,
Drive me crazy
I hereby give you permission

Your apartment is our dance floor
Our hands just fit
I can’t get enough of you

Its not like we have plans t’night
Or even tomorrow
You whisper such sweet nothings

Get me breakfast in the morning
Hold me gently
Your kiss plays on my mind all day

When you kissed my scar so sweet
"Made it better”
You grin, and I am hella in… so in.
 
C

CandieM

Guest
An Untitled Lyrical Ode.

This piece doesn't rhyme. I just wrote it on a whim after coming home from church today which interestingly, is doing a series on relationships. I tried to incorporate some iambic elements. I know it can seem cheesy, but I feel like sharing it :)

View attachment 186290


I tell you I don’t need you
But I want you
And thats a big difference

When we meet, I hesitate
But kiss me now
Thats what my eyes say

I can’t fight this push and pull
And it’s a secret
I play it cool, my darling

I am not afraid anymore
Both young and free
We embrace at the bay bridge

Place your lips on mine and dance,
Drive me crazy
I hereby give you permission

Your apartment is our dance floor
Our hands just fit
I can’t get enough of you

Its not like we have plans t’night
Or even tomorrow
You whisper such sweet nothings

Get me breakfast in the morning
Hold me gently
Your kiss plays on my mind all day

When you kissed my scar so sweet
"Made it better”
You grin, and I am hella in… so in.
That photo is stunning.
 

egeiro

Senior Member
Mar 17, 2015
331
43
28
Overtired thinking.

I've been thinking about community settings like my work place and my small church. And I've been thinking about how I relate to people, qualities I see in them, qualities I see in myself, what helps me connect, what things rub me the wrong way, etc.

I've been thinking about the people in my work place that I'm just like, "Eh, I will keep this relationship very professional, with a greater level of distance, I will be nice but I don't think we have any more ground we are bothered to even cover" and the people I work well with and are willing to assist and help.

I think over time, may it be cynicism or maybe just the crueler side of wisdom, but I'm more prone to pick my people. I've found that I will spend my time and energy with people who are more likely to show these qualities:

Drive to connect
Drive to change
Drive to amend
Remorse
Empathy

I know they are really weird attributes, like remorse for instance, but I just find it really weird and scary when people don't feel remorse for what they've done. Not even if its about something they've done to me personally but even another entirely different situation.

I usually find a healthy dose of remorse will drive me to connect, drive me to change or change something or drive me to amend. In some ways, remorse has some place in change and growth. Not that I want to be in deep guilt or shame all the time, but I suppose I think it shows that at some level the moral conscience is ticking and in action.

I also find it weird that people don't have a drive to change things. I used to spend a lot of time talking to women with depression or anxiety at church. At first I spent a lot of time encouraging them, or empathizing with them, or sharing break through stories but I was shocked that on many occasions, a lot of those women didn't do anything to help themselves. Eventually I was just trying to point them to Jesus but nothing was really computing behind their eyes. It took me awhile, but in some sad way I think part of this was true: they liked being the victim and I couldn't do anything about that.

The more I live, the more I realize that there are a lot of people who don't have any drive for better things. And it really weirds me out. I can try and understand the hurt and pain they have gone through to get there, but without the genuine, deep desire for change, their ears seem closed and the drive to connect, to change, to amend seems snuffed out.

Don't get me wrong, I have found a lot of people I grow with and flourish with in a genuine sense of family and community. And they show these qualities. But I think I look for these qualities more often now. I guess I really want to be heard. I want to put my time and energy in to something that can grow.

I don't know.... maybe I am getting more cynical?
 

EarnestQ

Senior Member
Apr 28, 2016
2,588
308
83
Hi Earnest! I'm sorry it took me so long to get back to you. Lots of drama at work, lol. I also can't seem to figure out the new system, as it often doesn't alert me of threads I've put a "watch" on or have posted in.

And somehow we seem to have found ourselves sliding into a new week... How did that happen???!!!

I hope this week goes well for you, and even better than the last one!

Blessings to you. :)
.
Are you from Seoul, So. Korea? I have been there a number of times when I was in the US army in 1976 and 1977, probably before you were born. lol
.
 

seoulsearch

OutWrite Trouble
May 23, 2009
12,373
2,757
113
.
Are you from Seoul, So. Korea? I have been there a number of times when I was in the US army in 1976 and 1977, probably before you were born. lol
.
Yes, I was found in Seoul, and yes, I was alive, kicking, and probably already causing trouble for my beloved adoptive parents here in the good old Us of A during the years you mentioned.

The name "Seoulsearch", of course, is a double play on "soul-searching", and represents my lifelong search for who I am, and what I believe is my calling from God to help others find who they are as well.

Thank you very much for your service! How did you like Korea? (I'm sorry if it takes me a bit to answer--I will start checking this thread manually on a regular basis. :))
 

zeroturbulence

Senior Member
Aug 2, 2009
23,354
3,090
113
I'm just a
Overtired thinking.

I've been thinking about community settings like my work place and my small church. And I've been thinking about how I relate to people, qualities I see in them, qualities I see in myself, what helps me connect, what things rub me the wrong way, etc.

I've been thinking about the people in my work place that I'm just like, "Eh, I will keep this relationship very professional, with a greater level of distance, I will be nice but I don't think we have any more ground we are bothered to even cover" and the people I work well with and are willing to assist and help.

I think over time, may it be cynicism or maybe just the crueler side of wisdom, but I'm more prone to pick my people. I've found that I will spend my time and energy with people who are more likely to show these qualities:

Drive to connect
Drive to change
Drive to amend
Remorse
Empathy


I know they are really weird attributes, like remorse for instance, but I just find it really weird and scary when people don't feel remorse for what they've done. Not even if its about something they've done to me personally but even another entirely different situation.

I usually find a healthy dose of remorse will drive me to connect, drive me to change or change something or drive me to amend. In some ways, remorse has some place in change and growth. Not that I want to be in deep guilt or shame all the time, but I suppose I think it shows that at some level the moral conscience is ticking and in action.

I also find it weird that people don't have a drive to change things. I used to spend a lot of time talking to women with depression or anxiety at church. At first I spent a lot of time encouraging them, or empathizing with them, or sharing break through stories but I was shocked that on many occasions, a lot of those women didn't do anything to help themselves. Eventually I was just trying to point them to Jesus but nothing was really computing behind their eyes. It took me awhile, but in some sad way I think part of this was true: they liked being the victim and I couldn't do anything about that.

The more I live, the more I realize that there are a lot of people who don't have any drive for better things. And it really weirds me out. I can try and understand the hurt and pain they have gone through to get there, but without the genuine, deep desire for change, their ears seem closed and the drive to connect, to change, to amend seems snuffed out.

Don't get me wrong, I have found a lot of people I grow with and flourish with in a genuine sense of family and community. And they show these qualities. But I think I look for these qualities more often now. I guess I really want to be heard. I want to put my time and energy in to something that can grow.

I don't know.... maybe I am getting more cynical?
This would make a great thread. I'd like to respond to it and I agree with a lot of what you said (maybe even all of it).... but its late for me right now. I'll post tomorrew..

I'm just a teddy bear sittin on a crub.
 

egeiro

Senior Member
Mar 17, 2015
331
43
28
I'm just a

This would make a great thread. I'd like to respond to it and I agree with a lot of what you said (maybe even all of it).... but its late for me right now. I'll post tomorrew..

I'm just a teddy bear sittin on a crub.
Hey friend!

Thanks for that. I'm about to get ready for work but I'll be sure to do that soon. Hope you had a good rest!
 

egeiro

Senior Member
Mar 17, 2015
331
43
28
Sometimes I have these brain farts where a completely insignificant memory comes to my head (like a 10 second snap shot of a mundane moment in 5th grade or something) and I live it for a brief time in my current reality and then I just move on. I have a theory my brain lets me relive its brief fragrant moment before it completely kills it off from my memory pool. Kind of like when something dies and it exhales its last dying breath or something.
 

zeroturbulence

Senior Member
Aug 2, 2009
23,354
3,090
113
Sometimes I have these brain farts where a completely insignificant memory comes to my head (like a 10 second snap shot of a mundane moment in 5th grade or something) and I live it for a brief time in my current reality and then I just move on. I have a theory my brain lets me relive its brief fragrant moment before it completely kills it off from my memory pool. Kind of like when something dies and it exhales its last dying breath or something.
I don't think it's killing it off lol... I think something probably subconsciously triggered that memory, like a scent or a glimpse of something, or something someone said... :)
 

Deade

Called of God
Dec 17, 2017
15,355
9,119
113
74
Vinita, Oklahoma, USA
yeshuaofisrael.org
I don't think it's killing it off lol... I think something probably subconsciously triggered that memory, like a scent or a glimpse of something, or something someone said... :)
I believe these brain farts from the past and dreams of the same are just our brains way of handling mental stress. Like those dreams of a mixmash of past events from different times in our lives. I just dismiss them as our subconscious minds cataloging data. They say our subconscious has total recall.:cool:

flashing-yeah-smiley-emoticon.gif
 
U

Ugly

Guest
I finally got my disability hearing appointment. Months away yet though. Now the hard part. Getting approved.
 

Oncefallen

Idiot in Chief
Staff member
Jan 15, 2011
5,682
2,070
113
I finally got my disability hearing appointment. Months away yet though. Now the hard part. Getting approved.
My wife went through that mess years ago. 2 1/2 almost three years from date of stroke to final adjudication.
 
U

Ugly

Guest
@Deade @Oncefallen

Yeah. I'm over 2 years now. And I've been rejected for separate conditions more than once.
I've had no insurance or income since 2015. And 1000's of dollars in meds I take every month. I've been fortunate with my hospitals pharmacy help and the drug companies themselves.
 

EarnestQ

Senior Member
Apr 28, 2016
2,588
308
83
@Deade @Oncefallen

Yeah. I'm over 2 years now. And I've been rejected for separate conditions more than once.
I've had no insurance or income since 2015. And 1000's of dollars in meds I take every month. I've been fortunate with my hospitals pharmacy help and the drug companies themselves.
.
Have you contacted a disability lawyer? There those who specialize in these things and know what to do to get approved.
.
 

Deade

Called of God
Dec 17, 2017
15,355
9,119
113
74
Vinita, Oklahoma, USA
yeshuaofisrael.org
Yeah. Have had them over a year now. They've not done too much that I can see.
It may not seem to matter, but it does. The lawyer will make good for you, just stick it out. You pointed out that somehow your needs get somewhat met. Isn't God great? Just think of that lovely tax-free back pay. You'll owe everyone, but it is still nice.