Why am I single?

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If you're single, are you happy with your singleness?

  • Yes

    Votes: 11 61.1%

  • No

    Votes: 7 38.9%
  • Total voters
    18
eugenius

eugenius

Senior Member
#41
Jul 17, 2009
491
9
18
#41
Baptistrw said:
I’ve noticed there’s a trend here of guys who are single and constantly saying how sad it is they don’t have a girlfriend and saying it often. I want to say that if they spent as much time working on their relationships with God as they did worrying about finding a girl, they’d have good Christian ladies lining up to be with them. Most of the guys I see doing this are 18-25 with few exceptions. I’m obviously not a girl but I can understand why girls are chased away from guys in our age group (since I am also in that age group being 23) since I have talked to several about this very topic. So here are the reasons I think many guys are single:


  • No personal holiness. If you have your heart set on all the things the world loves, worldly music, wicked movies, etc, do you think you impress a Godly girl?
  • No vision. Girls want to see a man with goals who is actively seeking to make them happen. Sitting on the couch playing Playstation games or on the internet playing computer games all day is not acceptable. Girls want men who can lead them, and provide for them, not just materially, but spiritually and mentally. That doesn’t mean you have to have life all figured out. We should desire to do God’s will and seek him in planning, but none of us know what tomorrow will bring, but if the Lord gives us a tomorrow, we should have a definite approach.
  • No confidence. Girls don’t want to hear you complain about all the things that are wrong with you. You don’t have to be insanely good looking or some freakish athlete. Be yourself. We all have flaws. Its ok, we’re all human and have areas to work on.
  • No evidence of a Christian walk. If you don’t pray, or read your Bible, or go to church faithfully, then you probably shouldn’t date. If a prospective spouse can’t see the evidences of God working in your life, you should work on getting yourself right before trying to influence someone else. The way to develop those evidences is to seek God in the previously named areas.
  • No ability to lead. The way to see if someone is a leader is to see if anyone is following. Do people follow you? Are there people who would consider you to be a spiritual role model? Are you actively trying to stand out for Christ or blend in? There should be evidences of spiritual leadership present before someone tries to lead a prospective spouse. Many times in a relationship the guy isn’t ready to lead, so the lady is forced to leave her position of support to lead because the guy isn’t ready which causes major problems in marriages down the road.

So my cure for these issues is quit worrying so much about finding as you should on becoming. In order to find the right person you must be the right person. So focus on Christ and let Him have the priority in your life over having a girlfriend.
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Oh sure. I am a future electrical engineer. Very serious about life. Have been working to support my family for the past 10 years and to put myself through school. Read a lot of classic novels. Like cultural things and art and etc. Read the bible constantly. Don't waste my time on meaningless BS. Don't spend my days playing video games. Study a lot.

And yet, the only girl I ever had spends all her time partying in a night club and getting drunk, and thought I was a geek and etc because I am so serious and not a playboy.

I don't mean to be offensive, but dude girls are not freaking perfect and us men are NOT all immature kids. Trust me brother very often its the other way around. I know the girls are agreeing with you because you are saying nice things about them.

I see females acting like vain children who are obsessed with clothes, money, status, coolness, fashion, what other people think, celebrities, and etc. The day I see a girl who has goals in her life and cares about intelligent things I will pay attention to her.

I am perfectly happy without a girl right now. I am 23. I want to get married someday but not until I find someone I like, and its very very hard to find someone good in modern society. I will look for as many years as God thinks I should.
 
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C

chelsers

Guest
#42
#42
eugenius said:
Oh sure. I am a future electrical engineer. Very serious about life. Have been working to support my family for the past 10 years and to put myself through school. Read a lot of classic novels. Read the bible constantly. Don't waste my time on meaningless BS.

And yet, the only girl I ever had spends all her time partying in a night club and getting drunk, and thought I was a geek and etc because I am so serious and not a playboy.

I don't mean to be offensive, but dude girls are not freaking perfect and us men are NOT all immature kids. Trust me brother very often its the other way around. I know the girls are agreeing with you because you are saying nice things about them.

I see females acting like vain children who are obsessed with clothes, money, status, coolness, fashion, what other people think, celebrities, and etc. The day I see a girl who has goals in her life and cares about intelligent things I will pay attention to her.
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I don't think he's saying that women don't have their problems as well. I also don't think that it's an issue of which sex has more problems than the other.

"The day I see a girl who has goals in her life and cares about intelligent things I will pay attention to her."

You're looking at one, and plenty of other ones as well.
 
B

Baptistrw

Guest
#43
#43
Johnoble said:
Hey thanks for agreeing with me, who doesn't! have MJ on their ipod? Sure he's got some questionable stuff, but most of his stuff is mere poetry, with awesome beats, it that wrong? If that's sinful, then I guess downloading a love poem online and playing some guitar music along with the lyrics is also wrong isn't it?
I wouldn't like to have a girlfriend so strict (legalistic) that she can't put up with a decent song with non christian lyrics. That's just going to the other extreme and that's very dangerous......(legalistic)
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Holiness is in no way legalism. Holiness is just being separated from that which is worldly.
 
B

Baptistrw

Guest
#44
#44
chelsers said:
I don't think he's saying that women don't have their problems as well. I also don't think that it's an issue of which sex has more problems than the other.

"The day I see a girl who has goals in her life and cares about intelligent things I will pay attention to her."

You're looking at one, and plenty of other ones as well.
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Glad you got a good head on your shoulders Chelsers..
 
M

MusicalMe

Guest
#45
#45
Johnoble said:
Hey thanks for agreeing with me, who doesn't! have MJ on their ipod? Sure he's got some questionable stuff, but most of his stuff is mere poetry, with awesome beats, it that wrong? If that's sinful, then I guess downloading a love poem online and playing some guitar music along with the lyrics is also wrong isn't it?
I wouldn't like to have a girlfriend so strict (legalistic) that she can't put up with a decent song with non christian lyrics. That's just going to the other extreme and that's very dangerous......(legalistic)
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I don't have MJ on my iPod but it's not for any religious reasons. I only have a lowly 4GB and MJ didn't make the cut. When you've got to pick 800 songs from 6,000 songs, a lot of stuff gets left out.
 
Johnoble

Johnoble

Member
#46
Apr 24, 2009
76
2
6
#46
MusicalMe said:
I don't have MJ on my iPod but it's not for any religious reasons. I only have a lowly 4GB and MJ didn't make the cut. When you've got to pick 800 songs from 6,000 songs, a lot of stuff gets left out.
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How could you leave MJ out? And 6000 songs is way over my limit, get an 80gig.
 
M

MusicalMe

Guest
#48
#48
Johnoble said:
How could you leave MJ out? And 6000 songs is way over my limit, get an 80gig.
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I would but my 4GB was free and since I'm broke, I'm going to stay with it until I can justify the cost of a bigger one.

And the reason MJ lost out was because I only have one song that was on an 80s compilation CD (and I don't remember which song but it wasn't one of the ones I like).

Since a lot of the songs on my iPod are 10-20 minutes long, they take up a lot of space.
 
M

MusicalMe

Guest
#49
#49
Z-e-N said:
Except for me.
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Zen, we always leave you out when we mention human flaws ;) Haven't you seen the We All Have Flaws Except for Zen thread?
 
N

Ndiver

Banned
#50
Jul 9, 2009
6
0
0
#50
Holiness is in no way legalism. Holiness is just being separated from that which is worldly.

do not get this.. what are you suggesting? to be separated from "worldly" issues and this way try to find a boyfriend/ girlfriend? wow, how could this happen?
 
B

Baptistrw

Guest
#51
#51
Ndiver said:
Holiness is in no way legalism. Holiness is just being separated from that which is worldly.

do not get this.. what are you suggesting? to be separated from "worldly" issues and this way try to find a boyfriend/ girlfriend? wow, how could this happen?
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No, the worldly things are the things that are gonna chase away a Christian of the opposite gender unless one wants a mediocre Christian bf/gf.
 
L

luke15chick

Guest
#52
#52
i think all i have said has rubbed off on you baptist! :)
 
L

luke15chick

Guest
#54
#54
sorry been busy trying to clean the house.
 
B

brideofchrist

Guest
#56
#56
quit worrying so much about finding as you should on becoming. In order to find the right person you must be the right person.
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I agree with what you've written ! The above 2 sentences were my fav and exactly my thoughts on this issue and it applies to us single women out there too. Thanks for posting! :)
 
L

luke15chick

Guest
#57
#57
I'm so glad my words of wisdom so long ago are having such wonderful results.
 
B

Baptistrw

Guest
#58
#58
brideofchrist said:
I agree with what you've written ! The above 2 sentences were my fav and exactly my thoughts on this issue and it applies to us single women out there too. Thanks for posting! :)
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Thanks Tracy :)
 
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