Why are so many women attracted to jerks?

[iTOREtheSKY]

A jerk would never appreciate when a good woman reinstates & laminates his Metal & Manhood Membership cards for him without ever being asked!

 

[Greeneyed_Cajun]

I would say that I am attracted to 'bad boy', like not thugs or abusive guys. Maybe it's the courage that attracts me, the fire in the belly to stand for and against something. Maybe that's not the definition of bad boy tho... I read the book "No more Christian nice guy" years back, it was quite insightful in this regard. I agree with Nod, and there is this passiveness among nice guys that turns me off. I am looking for a man to stand up for something, to know that being good doesn't mean being nice, to be protector of the household.

It takes a lot more courage and fire in a man's belly to be passive and live a Christ like life than to give in to his baser nature and be a "Bad Boy". I've studied Shotokan Karate most of my life (I began at 7 yrs of age). I'm 6'2'' and 225 pounds. I can break most guys in half. However in order to obey the scriptures I've often walked away from fights I could have easily won at the cost of losing face and being thought a coward in order to be known as a good and faithful servant by the Father. That's fire. That's courage. Expressing myself violently wouldn't require either of those things, just a lack of character.

 

[Liamson]

I do believe God intends people to be ONE person for their entire life.



if you want to call it that. I view it more as praying and asking God if that person is meant for you in the first place before jumping in and handing them your heart.

so you are saying that people should NOT pray about whom they should be with? or that God doesn't answer?

ok that is your opinion but God normally tells you things to look out in guys to show you that they aren't really His children or immature or likely to cheat on you. Praying about it makes sense to me, but then I tend to pray about everything.

that's what friends are for, marriages are more then that. It is the ability to live and compliment and understand and love the other person even though they have faults. it is knowing the person well enough to know when they are joking and when they are serious, when to pick on them and make them laugh and when to hug and comfort them because the world has torn them apart.

if you say so....



if they understand you they may just want companionship... just because they reject a romantic relationship with you, doesn't mean they reject you as a person.

friendship/companionship should never be shallow. do you think Jesus friendship with His apostles shallow?

John "understood" Jesus. that deep agape love is a Christian gift.

I guess I don't understand the idea that there can be more than ONE person you are meant to marry. In the end its in God's hands and He plans your life if you but follow His plan. When you follow your own desires it tends to lead downhill fast.

Look I don't believe that I am Predestined to Marry a particular someone, that is what I meant by the one, not the Union itself or the idea of staying with only one person.


It is one thing to pray about relationships and Fast. It is another entirely to wait for what the mormons call a Burning in the Bosom. Or to seek signs and wonders in your everyday environment that will spell out who you are "MEANT" to be with.


This is and has been my gripe with American Christian Culture from the word go.


You say that Marriage is more than friendship but, I say if friendship is not in the Foundation of a Romantic relationship, You might find 2 people simply living in the same house later on in life, with nothing to share with each other.

 

[sandtigeress]

The ones who ask that, are usually jerks who are not attractive to a women in their live.
Sorry I did not want to judge you, I just heard that statement too often, from people who don't appreciate
or want one nice woman either.

If you are christian and looking for a mate (wife), then it does not matter, how many woman find you attractive.
You only need one, that can love you and you her.
And there are such women out there.


--- ---- ----
(I write that in the single forum, but i am not looking for a new man).

 

[Powemm]

It takes a lot more courage and fire in a man's belly to be passive and live a Christ like life than to give in to his baser nature and be a "Bad Boy". I've studied Shotokan Karate most of my life (I began at 7 yrs of age). I'm 6'2'' and 225 pounds. I can break most guys in half. However in order to obey the scriptures I've often walked away from fights I could have easily won at the cost of losing face and being thought a coward in order to be known as a good and faithful servant by the Father. That's fire. That's courage. Expressing myself violently wouldn't require either of those things, just a lack of character.

This reminds me of what God can do to us.. Instead he shows us mercy ..

 

[NodMyHeadLikeYeah]

It takes a lot more courage and fire in a man's belly to be passive and live a Christ like life than to give in to his baser nature and be a "Bad Boy". I've studied Shotokan Karate most of my life (I began at 7 yrs of age). I'm 6'2'' and 225 pounds. I can break most guys in half. However in order to obey the scriptures I've often walked away from fights I could have easily won at the cost of losing face and being thought a coward in order to be known as a good and faithful servant by the Father. That's fire. That's courage. Expressing myself violently wouldn't require either of those things, just a lack of character.

Nice guys are the nice guys because they don't have the courage to be anything other than that.

You can be confident without being arrogant.

 

[Greeneyed_Cajun]

Nice guys are the nice guys because they don't have the courage to be anything other than that.

You can be confident without being arrogant.

I've probably seen statements more epically wrong than this before, but I sure can't remember any atm.
Basically, your thoughts are that Jesus was a coward and lacked the courage to fight instead of turn the other cheek. Wow.

 

[NodMyHeadLikeYeah]

I've probably seen statements more epically wrong than this before, but I sure can't remember any atm.

I've never seen anyone use the word epic in that way before.....

Anyways, your a kid. What would you know.

 

[Catlynn]

Nice guys are the nice guys because they don't have the courage to be anything other than that.

You can be confident without being arrogant.

On that note, Jesus wasn't really a passive sweetheart. Yeah sure He was kind and loving to people, did lots of healing and teaching in love but dude, He was anything but passive. He was fiercely bold about everything that He taught, He stood up for those who needed it, wasn't easily pushed around, was witty, confident, didn't let the pharisees get away with their snarky remarks about God....He got really intense in the temple if you'll recall. John the Baptist was also pretty rough and rugged out there in the wilderness with the locusts and honey. Paul was...hmm...well we all know Paul was fine speaking his mind. All that to say, you can be kind, loving, totally full of the Holy Spirit and still have a back bone and be a MAN of God. I think that's why it's important to know who Jesus is and what His character is like as well as how He sees you. Then you can be confident and bold in Him as well as have communication between the two of you so that you have His wisdom and know when to step up and when it's best to stay quiet and lead by example.
It's the confident, honest, bold MANliness that these so called jerks exude that makes them appealing I think, even if parts of it can be an act at times.


I feel like this post is all over the place. My apologies. ^_^;

 

[NodMyHeadLikeYeah]

I've probably seen statements more epically wrong than this before, but I sure can't remember any atm.
Basically, your thoughts are that Jesus was a coward and lacked the courage to fight instead of turn the other cheek. Wow.

Way to twist around everything i said.


I didn't basically say any of that. No where in my post did i even mention Jesus.

Let me clarify, i was basically calling YOU a coward for hiding behind passiveness as always being the right way.

 

[Catlynn]

I also kind of feel like the Christian culture kinda encourages young men to repress their manly ways and be way more passive. Not all of them....but a lot. Just my observation though.

 

[NodMyHeadLikeYeah]

I also kind of feel like the Christian culture kinda encourages young men to repress their manly ways and be way more passive. Not all of them....but a lot. Just my observation though.

Agreed...........

 

[Hellooo]

Is there anything more unattractive than passive aggressiveness?

 

[Catlynn]

Nope.Nope.

 

[TheAristocat]

I Respectfully Disagree

Eve was not subject to Adam's control. Concerning her personal freedoms, Eve was equal to Adam. She made her own decision to disobey God.

According to the Word as it is written in Genesis 3:16; To the woman he said, "I will make your pains in childbearing very severe; with painful labor you will give birth to children. Your desire will be for your husband, and he will rule over you."

This chastisement did not happen until after she listened to another male figurehead that appealed to her desire for what was forbidden. She chose to listen to a different voice other than her husband's voice concerning what God had commanded her not to do. The other "male figurehead" convinced her that God, was a liar.

Adam should have done as Joseph when he ran away from Potiphar's wife--he should have run away as fast as possible. We might not ever know why he didn't but I certainly wished he had. This certainly was a time not to be the nice guy. LOL

So Eve did what Eve wanted to do. Adam had nothing to do with her disobedience. Notice, that being made subject to Adam was a punishment, she did not like it at all.

Interesting perspective. Would you say that the man being the head of the woman as Christ is the head of the man is a lesser evil or a good thing then? On a side note, I don't think man is the head of anything. lol

 

[TheAristocat]

I also kind of feel like the Christian culture kinda encourages young men to repress their manly ways and be way more passive. Not all of them....but a lot. Just my observation though.

Like punching-holes-in-walls manly or... go-getter manly as opposed to waiting on God for "the right one"?

 

[zeroturbulence]

On that note, Jesus wasn't really a passive sweetheart. Yeah sure He was kind and loving to people, did lots of healing and teaching in love but dude, He was anything but passive. He was fiercely bold about everything that He taught, He stood up for those who needed it, wasn't easily pushed around, was witty, confident, didn't let the pharisees get away with their snarky remarks about God....He got really intense in the temple if you'll recall. John the Baptist was also pretty rough and rugged out there in the wilderness with the locusts and honey. Paul was...hmm...well we all know Paul was fine speaking his mind. All that to say, you can be kind, loving, totally full of the Holy Spirit and still have a back bone and be a MAN of God. I think that's why it's important to know who Jesus is and what His character is like as well as how He sees you. Then you can be confident and bold in Him as well as have communication between the two of you so that you have His wisdom and know when to step up and when it's best to stay quiet and lead by example.
It's the confident, honest, bold MANliness that these so called jerks exude that makes them appealing I think, even if parts of it can be an act at times.


I feel like this post is all over the place. My apologies. ^_^;

I'm not sure where you got that image of Jesus Catlynn, but I am convinced that he is more like a wise sage who baffles people with his incredible wisdom and intellect.

The scripture says Love is gentle, kind, not proud or arrogant. (from Corinthians 13).

I agree he was angry in the temple when he saw that it had become a marketplace but that is how any man would have reacted, even a humble man.

 

[Greeneyed_Cajun]

Way to twist around everything i said.


I didn't basically say any of that. No where in my post did i even mention Jesus.

Let me clarify, i was basically calling YOU a coward for hiding behind passiveness as always being the right way.

Coward huh?
I've dealt with more than you could imagine, including the death of both of my parents before I hit age 20 and taking care of a daughter and an autistic brother by myself on the income a high school graduate not yet finished with college can generate. I've dealt with being the lone white face in a neighborhood full of racist angry Latino gangstas always looking for a fight AND I've managed to meet every challenge using my head, not my fists.
You may be 30 but you are one of the most immature people I've ever run across. Everything from your avatar to your user name suggests "desperately trying to remain 14". My advice to you is grow up.
And I twisted nothing. You claim "nice guys lack the courage to be anything other than nice". I submit to you, that you don't know the meaning of the word courage. Jesus Christ admonished us repeatedly to be gentle as doves and shrewd as snakes, meaning use your head not your fists to solve problems.
Do you even read the Bible? Just curious.

 

[TheAristocat]

On that note, Jesus wasn't really a passive sweetheart. Yeah sure He was kind and loving to people, did lots of healing and teaching in love but dude, He was anything but passive. He was fiercely bold about everything that He taught, He stood up for those who needed it, wasn't easily pushed around, was witty, confident, didn't let the pharisees get away with their snarky remarks about God....He got really intense in the temple if you'll recall. John the Baptist was also pretty rough and rugged out there in the wilderness with the locusts and honey. Paul was...hmm...well we all know Paul was fine speaking his mind. All that to say, you can be kind, loving, totally full of the Holy Spirit and still have a back bone and be a MAN of God. I think that's why it's important to know who Jesus is and what His character is like as well as how He sees you. Then you can be confident and bold in Him as well as have communication between the two of you so that you have His wisdom and know when to step up and when it's best to stay quiet and lead by example.
It's the confident, honest, bold MANliness that these so called jerks exude that makes them appealing I think, even if parts of it can be an act at times.


I feel like this post is all over the place. My apologies. ^_^;

I got crickets and honey

 

[MissCris]

*tip-toeing out of this thread before any more mud gets slung*