Let's Still Be Friends.....

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Nicsk101

Guest
#1
#1
Have any of you lovely people ever experienced the end of a break up quick make up?

I remember at the end of my last relationship, that basically mutually ended, my ex decided that he still wanted to be friends. Of course I went along with it and said sure.. well I figured after being together for over a year, how hard could it be? Did I get a pie thrown in my face or what?! So I would call once every few months or so just to check in. We'd talk and I'll ask so why haven't you called me? (Mind you, He's the one who still wanted to be friends) "Oh I lost your number.. so here's my email because I'm always online." So what do I do? I go online and send him an email.. and nothing!

If we're breaking it off... why not just end it in the beginning? For those who have the automatic response to say Let's still be Friends when you know you really don't want to, why say it?
And for those, who like me, often fall for it or occasionally want to completely end it as well, why do we go along with it?

Share your thoughs and similar experiences...
 
seoulsearch

seoulsearch

OutWrite Trouble
#2
May 23, 2009
16,429
5,374
113
#2
Heh, heh. I feel for you, Nicsk... I haven't stayed in touch with any of my exes... fortunately there aren't many. I would have liked to have stayed in touch with my ex-husband but he left without ever speaking to me again and in the end, I think it's for the better.

For some reason, I either like a guy right away as a friend or a romantic interest (99.999 1/2% of the time it's as a friend) and have never done any crossing over (for example, long-term friend who became a boyfriend... no... or a boyfriend who stayed a friend... no).

I'm always amazed by the people who say they remain best friends with their ex... if it works, great!!! But for me, once romance has entered the picture... it's all or nothing. (I don't know if that has changed in my old age because I haven't found a romantic interest in a very long time! ;))

Sorry you got burned, hon. Here's to wishing you a better future! :)
 
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Nicsk101

Guest
#3
#3
seoulsearch said:
Heh, heh. I feel for you, Nicsk... I haven't stayed in touch with any of my exes... fortunately there aren't many. I would have liked to have stayed in touch with my ex-husband but he left without ever speaking to me again and in the end, I think it's for the better.

For some reason, I either like a guy right away as a friend or a romantic interest (99.999 1/2% of the time it's as a friend) and have never done any crossing over (for example, long-term friend who became a boyfriend... no... or a boyfriend who stayed a friend... no).

I'm always amazed by the people who say they remain best friends with their ex... if it works, great!!! But for me, once romance has entered the picture... it's all or nothing. (I don't know if that has changed in my old age because I haven't found a romantic interest in a very long time! ;))

Sorry you got burned, hon. Here's to wishing you a better future! :)
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You know the whole crossing over thing doesn't work for me either. lol And the liking a guy as a friend or interest thing... I agree. But I'm fine with not communicating with my exes, what i'm not fine with is them not being straight foward and saying I dont think we should talk anymore... but thats just me.
 
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MusicalMe

Guest
#4
#4
I have not yet managed to remain friends with an ex. It always sounds good, and it always seems like a possibility, but it never happens. Although my most recent ex called me to visit the other day... maybe we can have that awkward, strained, post-break-up friendship...
 
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1still_waters

Guest
#5
#5
I think 'let's be friends' is just our socially tactful way of saying I don't like you anymore so move on. It doesn't literally mean, hey let's keep hanging out at the friendship level.

Let's be friends just sounds nicer than, bug off creepo I don't like you anymore. But it does mean bug off!
 
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MusicalMe

Guest
#6
#6
1still_waters said:
I think 'let's be friends' is just our socially tactful way of saying I don't like you anymore so move on. It doesn't literally mean, hey let's keep hanging out at the friendship level.

Let's be friends just sounds nicer than, bug off creepo I don't like you anymore. But it does mean bug off!
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Kind of like how "I'll call you sometime" means "you'll never hear from me again"?
 
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missy2shoes

Guest
#7
#7
Let's be friends only works if ya like awkward stilted conversations.....................:p
 
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MusicalMe

Guest
#8
#8
missy2shoes said:
Let's be friends only works if ya like awkward stilted conversations.....................:p
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I only like awkward, stilted conversations when I have some kind of device to make that cricket chirping noise in the long pauses...
 
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missy2shoes

Guest
#9
#9
lol....I avoid those kind of conversations like the plague....coz I always end up saying something really dumb, just ta fill in the silence....arghhhhhh
 
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Nicsk101

Guest
#10
#10
1still_waters said:
I think 'let's be friends' is just our socially tactful way of saying I don't like you anymore so move on. It doesn't literally mean, hey let's keep hanging out at the friendship level.

Let's be friends just sounds nicer than, bug off creepo I don't like you anymore. But it does mean bug off!
Click to expand...
So the next time a guy says "let's be friends" I'll just say "It was nice knowing you" *smile* and walk away... lol
 
J0Y

J0Y

Senior Member
#11
Mar 7, 2009
509
6
18
#11
'Lets be friends' is never literally 'Lets be friends.'
If it is for some...I stand corrected, BUT, most of the cases I know in reference to this term would deem it to be an official - 'Lets NOT be friends...no offense' lol......
 
J0Y

J0Y

Senior Member
#12
Mar 7, 2009
509
6
18
#12
P.S - I love Stilly's tactful reply :p LOL.......LOL.....
(I do concur tho Stilly ;-) )
 
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Laiahna

Guest
#13
#13
2 Cor 6:14
 
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Nicsk101

Guest
#14
#14
So someone give a reason as to why people go along with it even though they know that both parties dont literally want to remain friends.
 
Chico_Zimbabwe

Chico_Zimbabwe

Banned
#15
Jul 29, 2009
54
0
0
#15
MusicalMe said:
I have not yet managed to remain friends with an ex. It always sounds good, and it always seems like a possibility, but it never happens.
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My thoughts exactly. And somebody is inevitably going to start dating a new person. That can be difficult to watch.
 
DinoDillinger

DinoDillinger

Senior Member
#16
Jul 28, 2009
839
19
18
#16
missy2shoes said:
lol....I avoid those kind of conversations like the plague....coz I always end up saying something really dumb, just ta fill in the silence....arghhhhhh
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HAHA me too. Usually it's something sarcastic also which leads to them being mad at me.
 
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1still_waters

Guest
#17
#17
Nicsk101 said:
So the next time a guy says "let's be friends" I'll just say "It was nice knowing you" *smile* and walk away... lol
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Pretty much. He's just trying to be nice. Be thankful he has some sensitivity about him. :D
 
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1still_waters

Guest
#18
#18
Nicsk101 said:
So someone give a reason as to why people go along with it even though they know that both parties dont literally want to remain friends.
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Because people aren't social brutes and desire to be tactful and nice.
 
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1still_waters

Guest
#19
#19
And you only move in to social brute mode if the other person can't pick up on your nice tactful social cues. Or if they refuse to accept the nice social cues, even after they've clearly heard and understood them. :)
 
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Nicsk101

Guest
#20
#20
1still_waters said:
And you only move in to social brute mode if the other person can't pick up on your nice tactful social cues. Or if they refuse to accept the nice social cues, even after they've clearly heard and understood them. :)
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Lol.... i agree :)
 
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